The "You've been kidnapped" writing prompt

[bettiezyx]

I saw the funniest writing prompt this morning, and wanted to share (assuming it's as new to y'all as to me):
"You've been kidnapped. Your kidnappers allow you to keep posting on social media to pretend everything is alright. What would you post that would alarm your followers, without the kidnappers knowing you're asking for help?"
What's is your response?

 

[onehitwanda]

To be honest, posting anything on social media would be an immediate "Jesus Christ, Wanda's off her meds, get the cavalry" moment. One would think the kidnappers would have done their research...

 

[ElectricBlue]

To be honest, posting anything on social media would be an immediate "Jesus Christ, Wanda's off her meds, get the cavalry" moment. One would think the kidnappers would have done their research...

That's pretty much what we reckon here .

 

[Bamagan]

I'd probably post, "Help, I've been kidnapped." No one would notice or care, and the abductors would realize they expended far more resources capturing me than they can possibly hope to recoup. They'd reluctantly release me back into the wild to cut their losses and then probably run for public office, having proved they lack the necessary skills to do any other job competently.

 

[Djmac1031]

"Good morning, everyone.

What a blessed day. God is good.

Look forward to seeing everyone in church this Sunday."

 

[Candy_Kane54]

I'll just mention how I hate chocolate ...

 

[AchtungNight]

I am Red Chief. My captors have made a terrible mistake. They best pay the ransom!

 

[Duleigh]

I've been blocked from most social media so this wouldn't work for me

 

[MrPixel]

I've been blocked from most social media so this wouldn't work for me

I'm not on any social media platform. So in this scenario, am I just screwed?

 

[Blind_Justice]

I literally can't Twitter (or X) to save my life. Fuck 140 character limits, fuck senseless arguments over trivialities, fuck fake news. I'd rather ingratiate myself with the kidnappers, fuck them if I had to and convince them that no one in my immediate vicinity has enough money to ransom me anyway, they might as well take me with them on their next heist.

That ought to shut them up.

 

[Britva415]

I saw the funniest writing prompt this morning, and wanted to share (assuming it's as new to y'all as to me):
"You've been kidnapped. Your kidnappers allow you to keep posting on social media to pretend everything is alright. What would you post that would alarm your followers, without the kidnappers knowing you're asking for help?"
What's is your response?

Me posting on my social media at all would be so out-of-character that at least some of my connections/contacts/friends-and-family would ask me if I was all right.

I have it and I'm connected to hundreds of people, most of whom I know or at least have known in the past in real life. I just never post anything.

 

[MillieDynamite]

You are out of date, sweetie. You have 280 characters now.

I literally can't Twitter (or X) to save my life. Fuck 140 character limits, fuck senseless arguments over trivialities, fuck fake news. I'd rather ingratiate myself with the kidnappers, fuck them if I had to and convince them that no one in my immediate vicinity has enough money to ransom me anyway, they might as well take me with them on their next heist.

That ought to shut them up.

 

[HordHolm]

I Duran Duran.

If that didn't get my nearest and dearest calling the cops then I'm lost forever... Or they're behind my kidnap.

 

[Djmac1031]

"Just finished binge reading the Twilight series. Boy that author Stephanie Meyer is something special. Really knows how to create compelling, realistic characters that are in no way bland caricatures, and create realistic relationship scenarios that aren't at all creepy or ridiculous.

And then there's her take on vampires; so unique. Because the trope of the dark, powerful, compelling vampire is just so cliché and her wimpy sparkly vampires who spend years repeating high school instead of exploring the world is just so intriguing."

 

[MillieDynamite]

Oh, my God, my respect for you just plummeted, unless that's sarcasm.

"Just finished binge reading the Twilight series. Boy that author Stephanie Meyer is something special. Really knows how to create compelling, realistic characters that are in no way bland caricatures, and create realistic relationship scenarios that aren't at all creepy or ridiculous.

And then there's her take on vampires; so unique. Because the trope of the dark, powerful, compelling vampire is just so cliché and her wimpy sparkly vampires who spend years repeating high school instead of exploring the world is just so intriguing."

 

[Djmac1031]

Oh, my God, my respect for you just plummeted, unless that's sarcasm.

@MillieDynamite , remember the context of the thread.

It's my cry for help

 

[MillieDynamite]

Oh, okay. Twinkling Vampires make my skin crawl. And not in a sexy way.

@MillieDynamite , remember the context of the thread.

It's my cry for help

 

[Euphony]

"Guys, I DID IT! I FINALLY finished my reading backlog! #Blessed"

 

[theWollstonecraftWoman]

"I want to thank everybody and my old Temple for their kind acceptance of my moving to Messianic Judaism." Sure as shit would be a bright, red flag for my new and old friends. Well, former old friends.

 

[Euphony]

"Like they said, they were the Misfits. Their songs were indeed better."

 

[SimonDoom]

"I'm on my way to the annual harp seal pup hunt with good friends. Can't wait."

 

[MillieDynamite]

"Bash them babies' brains out," I'd post back to you. Confused you'd come around so quickly to my suggestion. Perhaps, over the next hour or so, I'd realize that's not like him.

"I'm on my way to the annual harp seal pup hunt with good friends. Can't wait."

 

[AchtungNight]

"Like they said, they were the Misfits. Their songs were indeed better."

View attachment 2280566

I’d like to be kidnapped by these ladies btw. If Josie, Valerie, and Melody ever let me go.

 

[Comshaw]

"Good morning, everyone.

What a blessed day. God is good.

Look forward to seeing everyone in church this Sunday."

"Son of a bitch, he stole my line."

Sean - Good Will Hunting



Comshaw

 

[Tio_Narratore]

I just finished my twentieth reading of Finnegans Wake. I still can't find any meaning in it.