The Vagina/Penis Monologues

[SexyAmber]

Inspired by Eve's Vagina Monologues which i just saw here are some questions....most which she asked during her interviews..

1. What would your penis/vagina wear?

2. If your vagina/penis had a sign what would it say?

3. What two words would your vagina/penis say?

4. Look at your sex closely...describe it.

5. When does your vagina/penis feel sad?

6. When did you first touch it?

7. When you orgasm what do you sound like?

 

[RawHumor]

1. What would your penis/vagina wear? Ummmm... I think it'd look pretty damn cute wearing some little ear muffs! LOL

2. If your vagina/penis had a sign what would it say? "Get this guy some hand lotion, his skin's too rough!"

3. What two words would your vagina/penis say? "Kiss me"

4. Look at your sex closely...describe it. Can't do that at the moment... but right now he's soft, so there's literally not much to see! LOL

5. When does your vagina/penis feel sad? When he's neglected for too long.

6. When did you first touch it? As in masturbation? I was pretty old compared to what they say on TV - probably about 16.

7. When you orgasm what do you sound like? Mostly some soft grunts and moans... unless it's REALLY intense, in which case I sometimes catch myself holding my breath.

 

[LovetoGiveRoses]

Hi Amber, haven't seen you around for a while. I hope you've been well.

1. What would your penis/vagina wear? Tuxedo

2. If your vagina/penis had a sign what would it say? Dangerous curves

3. What two words would your vagina/penis say? Love Good

4. Look at your sex closely...describe it. The head is just the right size and a nice healthly pink color. I like to describe little pink flowers better though.

5. When does your vagina/penis feel sad? When it doesn't have a close friend.

6. When did you first touch it? When I was 13 or 14. I was on vacation with this pretty girl and one night I went to bed and boom. I thought, "Wow, that sure felt good, but what a mess". I'll have to try that again.

7. When you orgasm what do you sound like? Try to let her know that the moment is coming and urge her on to simultaneous pleasure.

 

[SexyAmber]

1. What would your penis/vagina wear? ?red velvet

2. If your vagina/penis had a sign what would it say? ?there's more than one way to skin a cat

3. What two words would your vagina/penis say? ?slow down

4. Look at your sex closely...describe it. ?smooth, pouty, puffy and hidden

5. When does your vagina/penis feel sad? ?when someone finishes the race before you

6. When did you first touch it? ?12

7. When you orgasm what do you sound like?I do the doggie orgasm...lots of panting...moaning...dirty talking then SCREAM..occasionally some whimpering

 

[Jewelz]

1. What would your penis/vagina wear? ? satin and jewelz

2. If your vagina/penis had a sign what would it say? Slippery when wet

3. What two words would your vagina/penis say? Eat me

4. Look at your sex closely...describe it. pink, full, sensitive, trimmed, semi wet

5. When does your vagina/penis feel sad? when all it wants is the tongue and it gets pricked instead!

6. When did you first touch it? 11

7. When you orgasm what do you sound like? lots of moaning, heavy breathing, occasional scream, lots of "mmmm oh my god"


had to laugh at the last question cuz i was thinking about starting a thread about what you sound like when you had an orgasm!

 

[Guest]

1. What would your penis/vagina wear? He wears his foreskin.

2. If your vagina/penis had a sign what would it say? Will Cum for Food

3. What two words would your vagina/penis say? Viagra, Please

4. Look at your sex closely...describe it. Hangs to the left when soft and bends to the left when hard...foreskin retracts smoothly and returns smoothly but hugs the head...always thought foreskin opening looked like flower bud...head pink/purple...shaft bows down in the middle a bit when hard

5. When does your vagina/penis feel sad? It felt sad for nearly 20 years when I was the only one paying him any attention...I finally wised up and our new friends plays all the time

6. When did you first touch it? before I remember...I used to get it hard and smack it against things because it felt good...when I was 12, a friend showed me what to do, and I took it from there...wow, 35 years of orgasms

7. When you orgasm what do you sound like? I call the Almighty and my lover's name when not alone...when alone, I grunt and say yes, yes alot

 

[Bob Waters]

1) Ski goggles

2) "What'er ya listening to me for, you're the brain."

3) Happy, happy

4) Thick, crested, veined

5) When he's feeling neglected

6) around 12, I rubbed it against my bed one night, it felt good so I kept doing it. Surprise!

7) I grunt a lot, moan a little and usually laugh good naturedly when we're done.

 

[InnocentAngel81]

1. What would your penis/vagina wear? hmm leather and lace

2. If your vagina/penis had a sign what would it say? handle with care fragile

3. What two words would your vagina/penis say? slow down

4. Look at your sex closely...describe it. Cant look and type I just know that it's there and needs some attention

5. When does your vagina/penis feel sad? when the sex is horrible

6. When did you first touch it? I was 17 actually my ex boyfriend did it first.

7. When you orgasm what do you sound like? a loud shreek need to soundproof my room or my neighbors would think I am being murdered

 

[DulceCrema]

1. Nothing

2. Buried Treasure

3. Fill Me

4. smooth, brown, beautiful

5. when it's not wet enough

6. I think I was 13...

7. A high-pitched grunt (if that makes any sense)

 

[MarkDelta]

1. What would your penis/vagina wear? shorts and t-shirt

2. If your vagina/penis had a sign what would it say? Hang on tight baby

3. What two words would your vagina/penis say? More Please

4. Look at your sex closely...describe it. rd, veiny pinkish red

5. When does your vagina/penis feel sad? When it's friends won't come over to play

6. When did you first touch it? hmmmm don't rememer but it was before kidergarten so....

7. When you orgasm what do you sound like? soft grunts, heavy breathing then somtimes laughter

 

[Woodmiester]

Lets see ...

1. What would your penis/vagina wear? Ambers sweet pouty mouth around it or her "sex" surrounding it if it had it's choice right now
2. If your vagina/penis had a sign what would it say? Please be seated
3. What two words would your vagina/penis say? Come Again
4. Look at your sex closely ... describe it. A multi-purpose tool. Helps make writting in the snow read easier, helps keep the sheets of my legs if I get sunburned as long as it stays hard thru the night.... and it sure makes sex a lot more fun
5. When does your vagina/penis feel sad? When it's -20, it's so scared it tries to hide
6. When did you first touch it? How old was I when I was potty trained? Hell I don't know!!
7. When you orgasm what do you sound like? At first like a sports announcer letting it be known of the approaching win, then lots of deep breathing, some grunting and growling, I guess I get a little vocal you could say


(Don't you just hate damn typos?)