The universe spoke to me.

[Phelia]

And it's kind of a dickhead. With poor grammar.

Was having a very so-so morning. The day itself is beautiful as can be, with breezy warmth and sunshine by the bucketful, but I'm trapped inside with a looming mountain of work to finish. I desperately want to procrastinate, but I know that anything fun would be ruined by pangs of anxious guilt, so I compromise with myself and decide to waste my time doing something productive.

I start to clean out my wallet, and oh god it's so boring and awful that I wish I'd just started working instead. I stick to it, though, because I'm committed now and it has to be done. I have about infinity old bus transfers jammed in there and far too many US dollars folded into weird shapes (I wish Canada had considered the origami-related implications before switching to plastic money). I'm wallowing in self-pity when my fingers dance across a little crumpled rectangle that hasn't seen light in months. I smile, eager to unfold the uplifting and inspirational message my past self had seen fit to preserve.

Well played.

...in bed.

Anyway, I've missed you. Come, rest your head on my bosom and tell me what's on your mind.

 

[lovetoread]

Hah, I got that fortune the other day.

Guess there is nothing else to do but rest my head on your heaving bosoms.

 

[IrezumiKiss]

Anyway, I've missed you. Come, rest your head on my bosom

aaaaaaand that's the point where my afternoon started becoming happier.

http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/gallery/yes/puddinpops.gif

 

[Byron In Exile]

Right now, we're trying to get a fire going under this Panzer, because the oil is frozen.

If we don't get it going, we're all dead.

We're going to have to use some of our vodka to get it lit... which is a tragedy... there isn't a lot left.

This Panzer will roll again.

Next stop: Kursk!

 

[Noor]

The universe here says go to a Brasilian festival, listen if not dance...

 

[Phelia]

Hah, I got that fortune the other day.

Guess there is nothing else to do but rest my head on your heaving bosoms.

Oh yeah C'mere, baby. *jiggles 'em*

Fortune twins! This is kismet. The little "Learn Chinese" lesson on the back taught me the phrase "To dry hair." Chui feng. I had just gotten out of the shower, too. Spooky.

 

[butters]

hello, feelya

cleaning out your wallet mighht be boring but is one of life's necessary tasks. now things can run more efficiently!

harry pond-hopped and spent a week here before having to hop back again. we're not regretting nuttin', oh no. ain't love grand?

 

[Dream59]

No it just had a little gas.

 

[Noor]

hello, feelya

cleaning out your wallet mighht be boring but is one of life's necessary tasks. now things can run more efficiently!

harry pond-hopped and spent a week here before having to hop back again. we're not regretting nuttin', oh no. ain't love grand?

 

[neci]

i just looked at a calendar and freaked out. now my head hurts. i've missed you. inflexible deadlines loom. will you tell me a story? i think it's time to send byron in undercover. you're the boss though, so it's your call.

 

[butters]

thankyou x

 

[butters]

i just looked at a calendar and freaked out. now my head hurts. i've missed you. inflexible deadlines loom. will you tell me a story? i think it's time to send byron in undercover. you're the boss though, so it's your call.

he's busy burning the vodka - get him in there fast before it runs out

 

[Phelia]

aaaaaaand that's the point where my afternoon started becoming happier.

http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/gallery/yes/puddinpops.gif

http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/763/495/a02.gif

http://i0.wp.com/memecollection.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/imdxh.gif?fit=372%2C279

http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/487/732/e1a.gif

Right now, we're trying to get a fire going under this Panzer, because the oil is frozen.

If we don't get it going, we're all dead.

We're going to have to use some of our vodka to get it lit... which is a tragedy... there isn't a lot left.

This Panzer will roll again.

Next stop: Kursk!

We'll use all of it if we have to. We're not going to die down here. Not today. If I can't get lit, at least the ol' girl can.

The universe here says go to a Brasilian festival, listen if not dance...

That sounds fabulous! Sometimes it's fun to let your brain to the dancing. I love festivals - Caribana here is a blast. TGISummer.

 

[Laurel]

I'm sorry, but I can't get past the misuse of "its". Whoever created that is clearly unqualified to describe anyone's reality.

 

[neci]

he's busy burning the vodka - get him in there fast before it runs out

he just needs to be mixed with some tomato juice and horseradish, curled celery and renamed mary.

 

[Laurel]

I smile, eager to unfold the uplifting and inspirational message my past self had seen fit to preserve.

Also, please read this:
http://www.today.com/books/hyperbole-half-inside-mind-blogger-allie-brosh-2D11617378

 

[butters]

he just needs to be mixed with some tomato juice and horseradish, curled celery and renamed mary.

^ this is why i believe your mind a unique and fascinating landscape that should be preserved for humanity's general enlightenment

 

[Noor]

he just needs to be mixed with some tomato juice and horseradish, curled celery and renamed mary.

or covered in chocolate with cherries.

 

[Sean Renaud]

Crazy Pony! And Crazy Pony has crazy titties. Somehow I feel like I should not be this surprised.

 

[Phelia]

hello, feelya

cleaning out your wallet mighht be boring but is one of life's necessary tasks. now things can run more efficiently!

harry pond-hopped and spent a week here before having to hop back again. we're not regretting nuttin', oh no. ain't love grand?

Yes! I usually run a pretty tight wallet ship, but I've been negligent lately and it was stressing me out. I like a light, thin wallet. One of the things I had to adjust to after moving to Canada was remembering to spend $1 and $2 coins before my wallet became heavy enough to be used as a weapon.

Awh! I love love! Just reading about it leaves me twitterpated. I'm so happy to hear!

No it just had a little gas.

On a scale of one to uncle joke, you're at a my mom's brother-in-law Len.

i just looked at a calendar and freaked out. now my head hurts. i've missed you. inflexible deadlines loom. will you tell me a story? i think it's time to send byron in undercover. you're the boss though, so it's your call.

I'm right there with you. Feels like I'm underwater. But we all are.

Let me have a think on the undercover thing. I reckon you're right, cos he's good at accents, but I'm worried about how we'll get by without him. He was working on that whole screen door thing, and, well, we'll miss him.

I'll tell you a story while I stroke your hair. Once when we were visiting our Australian cousins when we were kids, we got roped into going to school with them one day. I was really not a fan of this from the get go, as this was supposed to be our summer vacation and I didn't think it was fair that I was expected to sit through a day of school just because the southern hemisphere is a punk with its own fucked up idea of when seasons are supposed to happen. Anyway, I'm at school, during my summer vacation, and everyone is wearing uniforms except me, so I stick out even more than just the weird girl with an American accent that no one's ever seen before and came to school for no good reason.

So, this one motherfucker starts to razz me a little bit, because Aussies fucking know how to razz, and is like "Oi why don't you say the elphabit for us, mayte?" and I know he's trying to trick me. I remember my non-American parents always balking at the way my siblings and I pronounced the letter "zee." "It's 'zed'!" they'd shout. Anyway, I am shy and intimidated and start half-singing the alphabet with my best attempt at a sassy look on my face and I get to the run at the end. I know what he's trying to do so I make the conscious decision to fuck him over and finish on "zed" instead of "zee."

He erupts into laughter. "Zed????? ZED? Have I seen you on Bahney & Friends or something??? No one says 'zed'!" And I'm like, fuck. Just devastated. So embarrassed, because I am like, seven years old and he is nine and MEAN. I say nothing. I am shamed into silence. I sit sullen until lunch time, when I beg my aunt to come and pick me up, but I am really upset by that mean kid. I think about it for weeks afterwards and get pissed off, or as pissed off as a seven year old can really ever get.

Two years later, I am about to fall asleep, when I'm struck with a thought that gets me to sit straight up in bed. I've finally done it. I've come up with the perfect retort. The thing I should have said, to shut him up, right in his stupid face.

"You still watch Barney & Friends?"

One day, I will find him, and I will tell him. And I will be vindicated. The end.

he's busy burning the vodka - get him in there fast before it runs out

But the oil is frozen!

 

[Phelia]

I'm sorry, but I can't get past the misuse of "its". Whoever created that is clearly unqualified to describe anyone's reality.

I know. I think that's part of why I kept it. Delightfully enraging.

he just needs to be mixed with some tomato juice and horseradish, curled celery and renamed mary.

I want to drink you with a twist.

Also, please read this:
http://www.today.com/books/hyperbole-half-inside-mind-blogger-allie-brosh-2D11617378

That was AMAZING! I love Allie Brosh and Hyperbole and a Half. What a build. That ending is just hysterical.

^ this is why i believe your mind a unique and fascinating landscape that should be preserved for humanity's general enlightenment

Second this motion.

Crazy Pony! And Crazy Pony has crazy titties. Somehow I feel like I should not be this surprised.

I's just a simple girl with simple crazy titties.

 

[Sean Renaud]

Well I loves ya, crazy titties and all.

 

[bronzeage]

I opened a fortune cookie and read, "All your rubber bands are running in the right direction." I've never looked at a rubber band the same way, ever since.

 

[neci]

^ this is why i believe your mind a unique and fascinating landscape that should be preserved for humanity's general enlightenment

or covered in chocolate with cherries.

creamy liquid centers

I'm right there with you. Feels like I'm underwater. But we all are.

Let me have a think on the undercover thing. I reckon you're right, cos he's good at accents, but I'm worried about how we'll get by without him. He was working on that whole screen door thing, and, well, we'll miss him.

I'll tell you a story while I stroke your hair. Once when we were visiting our Australian cousins when we were kids, we got roped into going to school with them one day. I was really not a fan of this from the get go, as this was supposed to be our summer vacation and I didn't think it was fair that I was expected to sit through a day of school just because the southern hemisphere is a punk with its own fucked up idea of when seasons are supposed to happen. Anyway, I'm at school, during my summer vacation, and everyone is wearing uniforms except me, so I stick out even more than just the weird girl with an American accent that no one's ever seen before and came to school for no good reason.

So, this one motherfucker starts to razz me a little bit, because Aussies fucking know how to razz, and is like "Oi why don't you say the elphabit for us, mayte?" and I know he's trying to trick me. I remember my non-American parents always balking at the way my siblings and I pronounced the letter "zee." "It's 'zed'!" they'd shout. Anyway, I am shy and intimidated and start half-singing the alphabet with my best attempt at a sassy look on my face and I get to the run at the end. I know what he's trying to do so I make the conscious decision to fuck him over and finish on "zed" instead of "zee."

He erupts into laughter. "Zed????? ZED? Have I seen you on Bahney & Friends or something??? No one says 'zed'!" And I'm like, fuck. Just devastated. So embarrassed, because I am like, seven years old and he is nine and MEAN. I say nothing. I am shamed into silence. I sit sullen until lunch time, when I beg my aunt to come and pick me up, but I am really upset by that mean kid. I think about it for weeks afterwards and get pissed off, or as pissed off as a seven year old can really ever get.

Two years later, I am about to fall asleep, when I'm struck with a thought that gets me to sit straight up in bed. I've finally done it. I've come up with the perfect retort. The thing I should have said, to shut him up, right in his stupid face.

"You still watch Barney & Friends?"

One day, I will find him, and I will tell him. And I will be vindicated. The end.

please drink me.

i'm not really asleep. just closing my eyes and relaxing my body, head into lap. closed eyed giggles.

 

[neci]

Well I loves ya, crazy titties and all.

second.