The Un-Isolated Un-Blurt Thread

Me too! I'm just a little sad he won't be the same anymore. He'll still be my dad just....different some how.


Why is he different? Did he have a stroke?

Why are you laughing and giggling about his distress and infirmity?
 
Why is he different? Did he have a stroke?

Why are you laughing and giggling about his distress and infirmity?

It has nothing to do with his distress and infirmity. I'm laughing and giggling because it's so him. Flirting with the nurses, telling me he wants out of there.

When he had his knee surgery, he was the same way. Always calling me and telling me how he wants out of there. His determination to get up and get moving. It's good he's showing signs of his old self. It makes me smile and laugh.

He's different in that he's talking differently. The malnutrition must have caused some weakness in his brain. Although he doesn't have a very good memory for his age....it's more obvious now. Asking the same question 5 times and such.

I would never ever laugh at anyone in any kind of distress or pain. I loathe distress and pain myself and would never wish it on anyone. No, Noor.....never would I laugh at that.

I'm laughing and giggling because the things he does is very much his character. The alarm on the bed makes me smile as I know that, because my father is so incredibly stubborn, he would get up and walk out. That's how he's always been. Very independent and wanting to do things himself.

Sorry if I have confused you.
 
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It has nothing to do with his distress and infirmity. I'm laughing and giggling because it's so him. Flirting with the nurses, telling me he wants out of there.

When he had his knee surgery, he was the same way. Always calling me and telling me how he wants out of there. His determination to get up and get moving. It's good he's showing signs of his old self. It makes me smile and laugh.

He's different in that he's talking differently. The malnutrition must have caused some weakness in his brain. Although he doesn't have a very good memory for his age....it's more obvious now. Asking the same question 5 times and such.

I would never ever laugh at anyone in any kind of distress or pain. I loathe distress and pain myself and would never wish it on anyone. No, Noor.....never would I laugh at that.

I'm laughing and giggling because the things he does is very much his character. The alarm on the bed makes me smile as I know that, because my father is so incredibly stubborn, he would get up and walk out. That's how he's always been. Very independent and wanting to do things himself.

Sorry if I have confused you.

I understand. Is it possible that he had a stroke or hit his head when he fell?
The hospital knows about prior falls, right? I am asking because if that is causing memory issues there is usually cognitive rehab for that.

He may also be freaked out or the medication maybe adding to his memory issues. My dad had some from some drugs he was on, scared the hell out of us. He is off that drug now and he seems to be back.
 
I understand. Is it possible that he had a stroke or hit his head when he fell?
The hospital knows about prior falls, right? I am asking because if that is causing memory issues there is usually cognitive rehab for that.

He may also be freaked out or the medication maybe adding to his memory issues. My dad had some from some drugs he was on, scared the hell out of us. He is off that drug now and he seems to be back.

They didn't mention stroke.

Yes, they know of his prior falls. They said because of his malnutrition, he didn't have the strength to pick himself up.

My guess is, because he is 76 and his memory hasn't been the greatest, the malnutrition has simply made his memory loss more pronounced. It's still too early as to whether or not he'll make a full recovery.
I think it's simply the medication they have him on is making him sleepy so, he obviously wouldn't have the best of memory. I know when I have insomnia or I'm very tired, my memory isn't the best.
 
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Did he have a girlfriend? If so, which one? ;)


He was friends with Jilly but it wasn't a romantic thing. He was still kind of used to being away from home. He's from wisconsin but he was getting into being a california boy. He almost stayed with Byron's bestie but he wanted to stay with Mr. Bear.
 
He was friends with Jilly but it wasn't a romantic thing. He was still kind of used to being away from home. He's from wisconsin but he was getting into being a california boy. He almost stayed with Byron's bestie but he wanted to stay with Mr. Bear.

Cute. :D
 
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Things are getting worse. I don't know what to do. I've made so many phone calls. I'm so depressed. :(
 
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Finally talked to my sister and after some arguing and crying, we've got somewhat of a plan. Got the name and number of my dad's lawyer who drew up his will. Tomorrow is sort of a holiday so I may not be able to get through.

My dad is at a rehab place. He's safe and being looked after. He's still very weak. It makes me sad he's not himself. He understands things but forgets quickly. He asks the same questions over and over. It's hard.

I have to clear out his apartment a.s.a.p as he simply cannot live there. It has stairs that are uneven and the apartment floor is uneven as well. Plus, there's no one there to be able to help him with things. Hopefully, my sister and I can find something quick for him to move into. I know he said that his insurance would cover a nursing home but I'm not that hopeful.

In fact, as the days pass, the more I lose hope. I'm so depressed.
 
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Get him check for a stroke or head injury. Find out if any of the drugs he is on can cause this. My dad was recently on stains and he was being a space case, he is off now and better.

Also bring stuff by that will jog his memory. When people get older and ill, sometimes they shut down, it's like depression. Try to jump start his brain.

My great uncle did that esp. when he thought he would never go home again. People were doing things with his apartment and stuff and his response was to shut down. People stopped messing with his stuff and he perked back up.

Talk to the social worker again. Try and spend some time with him just doing stuff. Don't just leave him at rehab or wherever and think well he is being taken care of, he is with strangers, this is probably scary, esp. if he is having memory problems.
Write things down for him or leave pictures. Sometimes aural memory goes but people can remember things they can see or read.
 
Remember you are your dad's advocate in the medical system, don't assume they will know and do everything. They are not G-d. They can't do it all, they have too many patients and they don't know your dad.
You know you dad, this is not like him, tell them that. Insist on neurological tests.
Is your dad's primary physician involved with his care? If not, make sure he is.
 
The doctor at the hospital said he has no stroke or brain injury. He has early-onset dementia. Along with kidney problems and a urinary tract infection.

I told all this to his new doctor at the rehab my dad is at. The doctor is starting him on medications (for dementia) to help improve his brain function. The tests they took had not come back yet. I told the doctor everything I knew and talked to the nurse that's in charge of his behavior. Hopefully they take the information seriously and do what I suggested as it will make things far easier for THEM to take care of him well.

It's still my dad it's just that the dementia has caused him to lose his tactfulness and common sense on his behavior. He doesn't have a 'censor' as to what he does or says.

I have to wait for my sister to call me back to tell her some new information on his situation. I'll be calling the rehab back to find out the results of the tests.
It took everything I had in me to NOT cry during my visit with dad. I lost it when I got to the elevator. :(

PS. The case manager won't be able to give us any info until after his assessment on Tuesday. *sighs*
 
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The doctor at the hospital said he has no stroke or brain injury. He has early-onset dementia. Along with kidney problems and a urinary tract infection.

I told all this to his new doctor at the rehab my dad is at. The doctor is starting him on medications (for dementia) to help improve his brain function. The tests they took had not come back yet. I told the doctor everything I knew and talked to the nurse that's in charge of his behavior. Hopefully they take the information seriously and do what I suggested as it will make things far easier for THEM to take care of him well.

It's still my dad it's just that the dementia has caused him to lose his tactfulness and common sense on his behavior. He doesn't have a 'censor' as to what he does or says.

I have to wait for my sister to call me back to tell her some new information on his situation. I'll be calling the rehab back to find out the results of the tests.
It took everything I had in me to NOT cry during my visit with dad. I lost it when I got to the elevator. :(

PS. The case manager won't be able to give us any info until after his assessment on Tuesday. *sighs*

Good luck! I hope the drugs help. Hang in there, you still have him and he is still in there. Hugs!
 
Good luck! I hope the drugs help. Hang in there, you still have him and he is still in there. Hugs!

I read a few sites that were VERY helpful for me and gave me information on how to help him better. Today I simply didn't have time do very much. Next time I hope I can do a bit more with him.

I just have to keep going if not for myself...for my dad. I know he'd want it that way.

Thank you. :heart:
 
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I just read an article on a blog that might be of interest to you

http://kristiewest.com/2015/01/19/dont-respect-old-age/

Wow, great article. I think that's what I'm most worried about. They (doctors, nurses, case manager) won't respect my father. That they will just think 'he's sick and old". No, it IS my dad's turn to be taken care of because he's done so much with his life, it's time for him to rest. I know what he's going through is a sign his body is saying, 'I'm tired of always being strong, independent.'

As I said before, it just makes me sad he's not his usual self. I DO except the circumstances, I'm simply sad he won't be driving up to my apartment building for us to go out and eat. The irony is, I'm glad of this happy memory and many others he has given to me and my sister. He taught us to be good, independent ladies. Did a damned fine job, too. :)

I'm sometimes that person who sees the worst of the situation. Pessimistic. I do this so, if the very worst happens...I'm not surprised.
Still, with the medical help we have today, part of me thinks the medication may just work and my dad will get better eventually. He always did love proving people wrong when it came to his health. ;)

I love him so very much that I don't think I can ever really give up even the smallest of hope.

Thanks Noor. :rose:
 
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You have probably thought of this but I bet if you brought him his favorite restaurant meal and ate with him, he would like it.
Maybe go the whole 8 yards and bring a table cloth, cloth napkins and real silverware, if he likes to eat out fancy.
Perhaps even plates butI would skip the goblets unless you have some fake glass ones.
 
You have probably thought of this but I bet if you brought him his favorite restaurant meal and ate with him, he would like it.
Maybe go the whole 8 yards and bring a table cloth, cloth napkins and real silverware, if he likes to eat out fancy.
Perhaps even plates butI would skip the goblets unless you have some fake glass ones.

Already done. He loves chocolate so I bring chocolate every visit. It's gone in 10 seconds! It calms him and makes him content, happy. :D That's my dad! ;)
 
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Big day tomorrow. Have to clean and pack up my dad's apartment and store his things at my place. Have go to the lawyer and see about his will. Need to talk with the his case manager about his situation and health.
He cannot drive anymore so, the car will be taken away. Just as well, he owed too much on it and it sucked big time on gas mileage. That car may look nice but it's junk.
Have to change his mail and get it all forwarded to my mail.

At least he's behaving himself and hasn't pinched/grabbed hineys today. "No complaints" the nurse said about the staff in dealing with him. He's been good today.

Today has been all about trying to find things that make me laugh and smile so I can get through this.
 
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