The truly fucked up lyrics thread.

[Rhys]

I get a kick out of changing the lyrics to songs sometimes...

I suspect I may be related to Wierd Al Yankovic


here it goes!


to the tune of:
Blister in the Sun/Violent Femmes

When I'm talking
And I can yack
and I'm speeding along
I saw a mirror
I had to check it out

Let me go on
there's a blister on my tongue
let me go on
In pain, its no fun

Coffee and tea
I stain my teeth
cigarettes I don't know why
My girlfriend, I can't defend
halitosis is why...

Let me go on
there's a blister on my tongue
let me go on
In pain, its no fun

 

[Shaq]

"When you was locked down I fucked your bitch/gave her that syphillis dick so ***** dig her a ditch!" Brotha Lynch Hung

"I'm jackin off with two slit wrist in the porn section/of a video store, screaming I'm sick of being poor!" Longshot

 

[metal_minx]

"Yummy Down On This" - The Bloodhound Gang

Yummy down on yummy down on this down on
Yummy down on yummy down on this down on
Yummy down on yummy down on this down on
Yummy down on yummy down on this down on

Ouch it won't reach my mouth
If I could do it myself I'd probably never leave the house
But I can't so here's where you come in
Giving it "Diff'rent Strokes" just like Arnold Drummond
Hummin' hmm hmm good like Campbell's
And you'll handle the sack like the quarterback Randall
Cunningham like Joanie loves Chachi
They call him Ralph Mouth 'cause he's down on Potsie
Rocky chasing the chicken
Watch the plot thicken with the cock when your lickin'
Me like Apollo your Creed my Mission
You go down for the count I countdown ignition
Blast off you're a rocket scientist
A genius what I mean is you suck at this
So escargot 'cause my snail needs Frenchin'
You must be five stars cause my staff's at full attention

Yummy down on this down on this down on this
Yummy down on this down on this down on this
Yummy down on this down on this down on this
Yummy down on this down on this down on this

Yummy down on yummy down on this down on
Yummy down on yummy down on this down on
Yummy down on yummy down on this down on
Yummy down on yummy down on this down on

Dinner for one I know you got your reservations
Starvation like a Third World Nation
So do it for the children and I'll make a donation
My fly's in your eyes let me rise to the occasion
In my Underoos I tend to be brief
So when you're sinking your teeth deep into my beef
You can fondle but it's kind of like McDonald's realize it's
Just a Happy Meal so you can't Super Size it
Told to hold the pickle then you went and blew it
Gherkin off and the Special Sauce comes included
But you knew it did so concentrate like Tropicana
To eat a Chiquita you need to grow the banana
So can ya Bob like Dylan on my Peter like Criss
'Til it's Chubby like Checker c'mon baby do the twist
It's all in the wrist like table tennis
So beat me like Betty Crocker cake mix

Yummy down on this down on this down on this
Yummy down on this down on this down on this
Yummy down on this down on this down on this
Yummy down on this down on this down on this

Suck it suck it suck it suck it suck it suck it
Suck it suck it suck it suck it suck it suck it
Suck it suck it suck it suck it suck it suck it
Suck it suck it suck it suck it suck it suck it

If you were a Hindu I could aim for the dot

Yummy down on this
Yummy down on this

Yummy down on this throbbing pole of hot man chicken.
And feel free to wiggledunk those purple bulldog cheeks.

 

[metal_minx]

i didnt change it but i think its funny as fuck

 

[glamorilla]

frankenstein drag queen~mr.motherfucker

Fuck you, get out of my face
White trash straight from outer space
Kick the shit right outta you
Leave you in the rear view
I've told you once before, you're gonna piss me off
And after tonight, the world's gonna know my name
And then they'll call me
Mr. Motherfucker (repeated)
Punch you in the fucking face
It just makes me feel great
And I don't give a goddamn, that's just the way I am
There's nothing left to say but fuck you anyway
And after tonight, the world's gonna know my name
Then they'll call me
Mr. Motherfucker

and the lyrics to "My Heart Will Go On."

 

[naudiz]

Ooo, a chance to destroy what small portions of credibility I may have built up around here! I'm so there. This isn't a song, but it's a poem, and that's close enough. I made this one up in high school, and I'm leaving all the infantile small-town dorkiness intact for your amusement.


Two fags did lounge in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not take them both
And be one deviant, long I stood
And looked up one as far as I could
To where he bent in the undergrowth.

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And and having perhaps the better claim
Because he was saucy and wanted wear
Though but for the shagging there
Had worn them really about the same.

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black
I saved the first for another day,
But knowing how gay leads on to gay
I doubted I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence.
Two fags did lounge in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.


Yeah, yeah. My English Lit. teacher didn't like it, either.

 

[Rhys]

When I am seriously drunk...

(okay no laughing in the peanut gallery thank you)

I do a great impersonation of Courtney Love

(just vocally...stop laughing...I know you are there and tittering)

so I will have to post the lyrics to

Dog Farts (tune: Doll Parts)

 

[naudiz]

How can you possibly impart this to me and ask me in the same virtual breath not to laugh?

 

[glamorilla]

And I thought my Diana Ross impressions were bad...

 

[Summery]

And, I have heard Rhys' Courtney Love impersonation.

 

[Rhys]

She's also heard my Shirley Manson impersonation

which is actually good thank you very much...

 

[Shaq]

And I thought this thread was for lyrics that were naturally fucked up....d'oh!

 

[Rhys]

How can you possibly impart this to me and ask me in the same virtual breath not to laugh?

it has something to do with me being drunk...

 

[MechaBlade]

Rhys, are you an alcoholic?

 

[Rhys]

Rhys, are you an alcoholic?

No.

I just refuse to drink water because fish fuck in it.

 

[MechaBlade]

No.

I just refuse to drink water because fish fuck in it.

Seriously, do you need help?

 

[Rhys]

No

thank you for playing


next...

 

[Rhys]

actually, I am waiting for the other question which seems to be
plaguing folks a lot lately...



(no!)


there you go...