The threads about haters on "Loving Wives" are true

[AverageBear]

I've submitted 6 stories on Lit and until the one released today had never received a genuinely negative comment - certainly never any unfair criticism. That all changed with "He Said, She Said Ch. 02" (for those willing, check it out, it's at http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=414321), posted today under the "Loving Wives" category.

It presumably (based on much of the feedback) is getting torched because I had a character who is wrongly being interpreted as a cuckold (in an accurate interpretation of the story's construction, he was no cuckold: he cheated on his wife but regretted it, admitted it, and sought forgiveness for it; his wife helped him resolve the problems arising from it; they shared the guilt through a creative plot device; they still loved and forgave each other; and both gladly agreed to forge ahead together). Or perhaps the problem is the strength and resolve of the betrayed wife to save her marriage and her husband. The negative commenters have not criticized me for the quality of the writing, but instead for the morality of the characters, due to exactly the point I was trying to make: that smart people sometimes make stupid choices, stupid choices have bad consequences, but even so the guilty parties need a chance for redemption. Why those truths should make people angry is beyond me - but I guess deep down I knew they would, because I delayed submitting the story for over 2 months while wrestling with whether I should stick with my original intention for Ch. 02.

What's worse, the haters seem to have gone back to Ch. 01 and re-evaluated it in light of Ch. 02 (Ch. 01 contained no hint of potential cuckoldry). It had settled in over those 2 months with a 4.69 rating and over 100 votes. In less than 24 hours, Ch. 01 has dropped within a whisker of the magical 4.50 threshold, with only a few more votes.

The Loving Wives category is a brutal one for scores and feedback, and it's now bled over to the "Erotic Couplings" category (the Ch. 01 locale) via retroactive chapter-bashing. I don't mind constructive negative feedback, but these readers seem totally oblivious to the care and effort we writers put into our craft - all free of charge on this site. Not that my fellow writers didn't know that - I've seen this type of thread before, and now I've joined the crowd.

It feels a little better just getting that off my chest.

Thanks,

AverageBear

 

[BossySon21a]

It presumably (based on much of the feedback) is getting torched because I had a character who is wrongly being interpreted as a cuckold (in an accurate interpretation of the story's construction, he was no cuckold: he cheated on his wife but regretted it, admitted it, and sought forgiveness for it; his wife helped him resolve the problems arising from it; they shared the guilt through a creative plot device; they still loved and forgave each other; and both gladly agreed to forge ahead together). Or perhaps the problem is the strength and resolve of the betrayed wife to save her marriage and her husband. The negative commenters have not criticized me for the quality of the writing, but instead for the morality of the characters, due to exactly the point I was trying to make: that smart people sometimes make stupid choices, stupid choices have bad consequences, but even so the guilty parties need a chance for redemption. Why those truths should make people angry is beyond me

I have a theory about that reaction, and I think there are two elements to it (probably others as well, but I suspect two in particular).

For one thing, whether for reasons biological, social, cultural, religious, or all of the above, our society has a tendency to reflexively recoil from anything that even hints of 'weakness' in males. Cuckolds are partly held in contempt for just that reason, I think, even in fiction, at least the willing ones are, and the ones who find out and 'tolerate' it. I'm not defending that reaction, but it's there in both sexes and it's common.

The other reason has to do with the nature of fantasy. Most sexual fantasies in fiction are so obviously just that that there's a divorce from real reactions. Some of the fantasies common in erotic fiction are literally impossible in real life, physiologically or logistically, others are so improbable that they exist on sort of the same level as Wile E. Coyote and the anvil that keeps crushing him.

What I mean is that in real life, watching an anvil land on a real, life, flesh and blood coyote would not be funny to most people, it would be repulsive and sad or at least disturbing to watch. In the cartoon, on the other hand, it's funny, especially since you know he'll be back to normal 30 seconds later. That's kind of the level most erotic stories work on.

But the Loving Wives stories, especially the ones that are written to feel and seem 'real', often without much wild sex or the like, that's something quite else, wives (and husbands) cheating can and does really happen. A man reading a 'realistic' story about an unfaithful wife can look over at his wife and think, "Could she do that?"

The answer, of course, is 'yes she could'. Maybe should wouldn't, but there's absolutely no reason she couldn't. Which creates an entirely different emotional balance between the reader and the characters. There's a desire to see the wrong-doer punished...and the emotions connected to adultery are so intense that the desired punishment, the thought of what it takes to balance such a betrayal, can be really awful. People do, after all, every so often murder their cheating husbands and wives in real life. People tear their own lives to shreds in the effort to get at and inflict pain on a spouse who cheated. Having sex with somebody else's spouse is a very workable way to yourself beaten senseless or worse. That's how intense the emotions run.

So is it entirely surprising the emotion that can appear in comments? Not that that changes the fact that many of the posters are childish trolls, and it does nothing to explain the reaction of posters who seem to confuse character with author or fiction with reality...but there is a reason for the difference in tone.

 

[AverageBear]

Your insights make a lot of sense. Thanks for sharing them. They explain the anger, but I still don't understand why people who are troubled by this "too close to home" cheating angle would bother to read in a category devoted to that type of story... (or do I misunderstand what "Loving Wives" is supposed to be about?)...

 

[Leto Degeneres]

I've submitted 6 stories on Lit and until the one released today had never received a genuinely negative comment - certainly never any unfair criticism. That all changed with "He Said, She Said Ch. 02" (for those willing, check it out, it's at http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=414321), posted today under the "Loving Wives" category...

I just went off to read Chapter 2 (I didn't read Ch. 1). While we're on the subject, I wonder why the entire story turned into one huge hyperlink to chapter 1?

For LW, I thought it pretty mild. Some are hilarious, some really are about loving wives, some are nothing short of virtual heart ache. In the scheme of things, this one was pretty innocuous in that regard. Your comments showed that, too. Zeros are common in LW, but unless I missed one, I didn't see any in your comments. You did fine.

Keep at it. Ignore the comments about reality (this is fantasy, after all). Pay attention to the ones that point out where you fall short of accomplishing your goal, that is, making a useful or enjoyable or titilating story. Having said that, if positive recognition is your goal, LW is going to be a very hard place to find it (though a few have).

I think your writing for LW holds promise. The idea for this story is actually fun. Imagine, a betrayed wife taking it so easily, helping the nut get out of hot water, and then holding forth hope for more fun in the future. Only in fantasy land I think you can develop lots more out of this premise.

 

[Darkniciad]

Dropping a report in to the website so that they can insert the missing closing tag and fix that hyperlink problem. Surprised that it made it through that way.

 

[AverageBear]

Thanks

Thanks, Darkniciad. I'm techno-challenged and wouldn't have known how to get it fixed. I hadn't even realized what Idegeneres meant by the hyperlink comment (but I appreciated the rest of his comments).

 

[angiquesophie]

this is nothing, dear bear

you should read the comments to my stories.
might lift your spirit.

greetings, angiquesophie.

 

[AverageBear]

Took your advice by reading a few of your stories and the comments...

...and can totally relate, AngiqueSophie. At least there are reasonable commenters mixed in with the haters (for both of us). And based on the number of comments you've inspired, I'd say you have a loyal following - even if some of them are consistently along just to bash you for "wasting" your talent. I still don't understand why people who say they don't like this type of story continue to read them anyway - apparently just to heckle. Warmest regards, AverageBear P.S. Loved your stories - and your profile photo!

 

[Leto Degeneres]

you should read the comments to my stories.
might lift your spirit.

I had to hunt you down at Lit Main when I didn't find a link to your stories in your forum bio. <grin>

I'm looking at the first one, "A New and Delicate Balance". That's an extraordinary run of 75 and 100 percents in the comment section. By the way, just as AverageBear did, I loved that profile photo. I can think of someone that I'd like to give one of those (...a specialty corset of some kind? What is that?) corsets to!

...and can totally relate, AngiqueSophie. At least there are reasonable commenters mixed in with the haters (for both of us). And based on the number of comments you've inspired, I'd say you have a loyal following - even if some of them are consistently along just to bash you for "wasting" your talent. I still don't understand why people who say they don't like this type of story continue to read them anyway - apparently just to heckle. Warmest regards, AverageBear P.S. Loved your stories - and your profile photo!

It's so very weird the way they do that, isn't it? I have to think that most of the zeros are because the reader (assuming it is a reader and not just a troll) identified to much with the characters or the plot. Those particular commenters seem to want a story where (1) husband is righteous, (2) woman cheats, (3) husband will have no idea that this is going on until the one and only time he discovers it (he can't be cuckolded or the commenter is going to call him a wimp, good for a zero), (4) husband kicks wife out of house, (5) husband divorces wife, (6) wife is miserable with the knowledge of what she's done, her circumstances are worse, her family hates her, and her boyfriend is jailed, beaten up, moves, whatever, but they're no longer together, either.

That's the making of a miserable plot, so it's hard to see how it's worth catering to the zero voters.

 

[Darkniciad]

They still haven't fixed it -- so much for sending in the error report *laugh*

View sourced it, and I see the problem. No closing angle bracket on the anchor.

<a href="http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=400131" target="_blank">link</a>.

If it doesn't get fixed by the site, you might want to make the correction yourself with an edit.

 

[AverageBear]

Not sure how to do that - would fix it if I could, but I'm technologically illiterate.

 

[Darkniciad]

If you have the original text, as it was when you submitted it:

First, add in that > I have highlighted in red above to the text. That will fix the hyperlink problem.

If you didn't put the hyperlink in there ( or if your word processor created it automatically ) I can take a look at it and fix it for you. Shouldn't take more than a couple of seconds.

Once that's done:

===================

How to submit a text edit on Lit:

Make a note of the Lit ID# of the story ( that's the number that appears at the end of the URL in your browser address bar when you view the first page of your story )

Stat a new submission. Use the same title as the original ( or as much as will fit ) plus something such as *EDITED*

Fill in the description, keywords, etc. with placeholders, they aren't important. Select the same category as the original version, as well as the same vote/comment selections.

Paste or upload the new, edited story text.

In the "Notes" section, state that you are editing the story text. You can explain why, but it isn't necessary. The important thing is to specify that the story text is what you wish changed.

Also state that the story you are editing is Lit ID# ( type the number you noted earlier ) in order to avoid any possible confusion.

Preview, and submit.

An edit will usually take the same amount of time to post as the wait for a new story, but I've seen edits go up faster quite frequently.

By default, only what you ask to be changed is changed. Your original title, description, keywords, votes, and comments will remain. Only the story text will be changed to the new, edited version. You'll know it happens when the new "edited" submission vanishes from your list. That means that it has been processed, and the new text has been applied to the original story submission.

You can then view your story to make sure that the edit went through correctly.

 

[dkmywife]

was the 'hater' Nyminus ?

I also have submitted a loving wives story, with more to follow. Had a very negative experience with a personality defect, there were several haters...but one took the cake. I will not repeat what he shared as most of it was simply bile that had no purpose other than to make the writer feel like crap.

for the most part though the feed back has been constructive. writing about sex is a good outlet

 

[v_hearts]

Posting anything to loving wives is like running through a minefield. Very rarely will anything get posted that will not get negative response by at least a portion of the readers. The problem is that there is a large audience out there for the shared wife/ cuckold fantasies and there is a smaller but very outspoken audience who make it the point of their lives to deride these people. These second batch won't settle for anything less than shooting a cheating wife and her lover and his dog. It seems to me that it is impossible to post something that will cater to all of them.

 

[Joeehartley]

I had the same experience and being a new writer, I was about to give up my new hobby. I then noticed that they were not talking about my story at all. They were telling me about what a sick so-n-so I was.

I started just deleting the comments and the e-mails. My votes are much lower than I would have hoped, because of these haters. The ones that like my stories, yes there were a few, sent me e-mails and made my day. I responded to each and every one telling them how much their comment meant to me.

-Joe-

 

[Reshbod]

I get those comments since most of my stories are in Loving Wives. I leave them up because they amuse me. I write the stories I want to write and the fact that some get so angry over them only makes me want to write more, and hopefully improve along the way.

 

[wench83]

I think ya'll do a great job

I'm not an author so I can't give you insights on that end of things. I am, however, an avid reader - not just of sexy stories, but of all books, and I just want to say that you guys should just keep on doing what you're doing. I think it is amazing how ya'll can put stories on paper and create these awesome characters. True, the situations and people are not always believable in a real life context (I'm loving the Wylie Coyote reference), but that's not really the point, is it? We the readers are (or should be) reading for fun, escape, and pure pleasure. Those that bash simply have nothing better to do with their time, and it seems to me that internet A-holes are abundant. I think I am just gonna have to start leaving comments of my own, and trust me it won't be the bash-you-so-I-feel-superior kind of stuff. I pretty much like most of what I read, and the reason I usually dislike a story is because it looks like it was written by someone who didn't make it out of the fourth grade at best - bad spelling, grammar, sentence structure and the like. Even then, I respect the hell out of what is done because I could never write invent a story like that.

Anyways, I hope this lifts all of you who write stories up.

 

[dkmywife]

there is a possible 'medical' cause

Clearly some of these persons have issues, particularly with cheating. with the violent reactions that have been forthcoming and the general lack of direction with regard to the bitterness I'd put my money on the possibility that some, clearly not all of these deformities are on psych meds. One of the side effects of long term use of psychotropic medication is reduction in social inhibition, which goes along with the increase of suicidal thoughts and a more aggressive propensity toward acting on such thoughts.

It is possible that some of these persons had someone cheat on them which is why they are on the meds to begin with. They are thus drawn to these sites for the purpose of self admonition as they blame themselves for creating the reason their significant other cheated and the drugs remove the natural inhibitions that normally limit reaction to upsetting situations.

Then there are those who are just suffering from personality deformities in which case the need a blowjob.

 

[Panthmod]

Cross posting this, because I am SO tired of seeing it (as a reader) and WISH the site mods would DO something to put a stop to it:

I've been lurking here since the beginning.
Frankly it pisses me off to see all the negative comments that aren't feedback at all, but just bitching about the type of story. Why bother to read it in the first place?

I have seen this in the Taboo category, the gay and lesbian categories, and the nonconsent stories.
If you DON'T like it, DON'T read it.
Simple.

The worst BY FAR, though, seems to be the loving wives category.
Basically, if you are NOT O.K. with, adultery, cheating, cuckoldry, hotwifing, swapping, OR swinging, this is not the category for you.
If you DON'T like it, DON'T read it.

How many times do the writers need to put in disclaimers? How many times does it need to be said?
If you DON'T like it, DON'T read it.
If you DON'T like it, DON'T read it.
If you DON'T like it, DON'T read it.

 

[sr71plt]

Sorry, Panthmod, but those you are talking about just don't care. As long as the site is open to comment by anyone, these sad people will post. Best to just tune them out. Luckily the site gives the power to erase the comments.

 

[DS7]

ITA. Although I am in my first submission, I have looked to the comments for some guide as to where the readers may prefer the story to go. The story is a multi-part one, and this third part I am on seems to be the most difficult to work on. I do have the story lines for subsequent parts pretty much laid out, but, getting the characters to that point is the difficult task it seems. For the constructive criticism, I appreciate it, as it gives some insight as to what the reader may want, and allows me to modify a bit if it fits into my general theme, that of a mistake and the heart-wrenching decisions, and repercusions of the mistake and post-mistake decisions that come, including what may happen if other mistakes, between some of the characters, occur. The simple, "this story sucks because husband did not immediately throw wife out of the house, or beat her to a pulp," is not, in my thought, how most people would react to a mistake, if a cheating incident occurred in a loving marriage. Plus, i enjoy the emotional difficulty encountered by a couple which some writers here do so well, and I probably will never be able to come close to, that occurs to the underlying relationship.

I admit that my thoughts have been swayed a bit, and the hubby will probably become more forceful, and active, but, not in a way that that the "this sucks" crowd wants him to be.

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

I've submitted 6 stories on Lit and until the one released today had never received a genuinely negative comment - certainly never any unfair criticism. That all changed with "He Said, She Said Ch. 02" (for those willing, check it out, it's at http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=414321), posted today under the "Loving Wives" category.

It presumably (based on much of the feedback) is getting torched because I had a character who is wrongly being interpreted as a cuckold (in an accurate interpretation of the story's construction, he was no cuckold: he cheated on his wife but regretted it, admitted it, and sought forgiveness for it; his wife helped him resolve the problems arising from it; they shared the guilt through a creative plot device; they still loved and forgave each other; and both gladly agreed to forge ahead together). Or perhaps the problem is the strength and resolve of the betrayed wife to save her marriage and her husband. The negative commenters have not criticized me for the quality of the writing, but instead for the morality of the characters, due to exactly the point I was trying to make: that smart people sometimes make stupid choices, stupid choices have bad consequences, but even so the guilty parties need a chance for redemption. Why those truths should make people angry is beyond me - but I guess deep down I knew they would, because I delayed submitting the story for over 2 months while wrestling with whether I should stick with my original intention for Ch. 02.

What's worse, the haters seem to have gone back to Ch. 01 and re-evaluated it in light of Ch. 02 (Ch. 01 contained no hint of potential cuckoldry). It had settled in over those 2 months with a 4.69 rating and over 100 votes. In less than 24 hours, Ch. 01 has dropped within a whisker of the magical 4.50 threshold, with only a few more votes.

The Loving Wives category is a brutal one for scores and feedback, and it's now bled over to the "Erotic Couplings" category (the Ch. 01 locale) via retroactive chapter-bashing. I don't mind constructive negative feedback, but these readers seem totally oblivious to the care and effort we writers put into our craft - all free of charge on this site. Not that my fellow writers didn't know that - I've seen this type of thread before, and now I've joined the crowd.

It feels a little better just getting that off my chest.

Thanks,

AverageBear

Confusious say, He who posts in Loving Wives is asking to be fucked in the butt by the trolls.

 

[lance gt]

One thing Avg. about posting in LW is that you'll either gain a tougher skin against comments by trolls, or you'll give up writing them. I took so much flak from readers about my first attempt, "The Usual" that some liked it and one even went so far as to write me personally to say if I wrote more he'd hunt me down and kill me. Always the Anon. trolls and I just ignore them and pay attention to constructive feedback, unless I feel like a good dust up and have a war on feedback with them. that can be better that writing sometimes, lol. Hang in there amigo. Lance

 

[Epmd607]

People reading 'Loving Wives' stories get turned on by the content. The ones telling you and me they want us to die along with our characters are the ones yanking and diddling the hardest to our stories. It's that self-hate part of our sexual being, some of us get more into it than others. I think the votes usually even out after a few months. Everyone should write a loving wives/cheating type of story just to experience those few special emails.

 

[lance gt]

Okay, here's my point made clearly

I just had my new LW story come out this morning and already it has been read over 2000 times and 88 votes. What is the most interesting factor are the comments left. Take a look on the comment board and see where "Payback's a Bitch" is sitting and read the comments left. You can see it has made an impact with the LW fans and they love it. You can't get that response from any other category. I even received several PM's from Anon. readers who felt compelled to tell me personally. Like they say, If they hate your story, they loved your writing.