The Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day

[lavender]

 

[Never]

I want to be Killer Muffin's artificially inseminated mutant child.

 

[LadyDarkFire]

How about John Cleese and Kathy Lee Gifford? And have you tried contacting Firestone (not just a regional store, there is generally a number on all paper work) about the problem?

 

[Mensa]

Think about it

Janet Reno and Rodney Dangerfield.

Sweet dreams!

 

[shadowsource]

George W. Bush & Marilyn Manson

They're both Republicans, and talk in circles.

Sorry to hear of your woes, Lavy. Sleep.....

 

[Laurel]

Marilyn Manson is a Republican?

 

[Problem Child]

Can we all agree Marylin manson is a freak?

Can we at least reach that much consensus?

 

[Never]

Yep.
He agrees with them on a lot of political and economic issues.

 

[Starfish]

I am a freak. SO? *hard stern glare*


Mensa, that is just wrong.

 

[lavender]

 

[Problem Child]

Isn't that like 2038 degrees with the humidity index added in?

 

[lavender]

 

[Never]

Tire Key.

 

[Laurel]

Can we all agree Marylin manson is a freak?

Can we at least reach that much consensus?

I had a friend in town who had never left her tiny Oregon town. So I take her up to L.A. to see some cool exhibit at the LACMA and hang out in Santa Monica and do the L.A. tour, and she says, "Maybe we'll see Courtney Love! She's supposed to be LA this week!" (She's a Hole fanatic.)

"No, no," I say. "This is L.A. It is a HUGE place. You don't just see famous people walking around everywhere!"

So we eat lunch at a pizzeria in Santa Monica, and as we're cruising past a movie theater, Kareem Abdul Jabar walks past us. (He was in town, I found out later, for a women's bball game at UCLA.)

Then we head over to the museum, and once inside I see this tall dude with long black hair surrounded by big group of people. "That guy looks like Marilyn Manson," I said to Manu. Then I looked again. "I think that IS Marilyn Manson!" I said.

"Huh," he said. "Weird. I think you're right"

"Yeah," I shrugged.

Of course, all this was lost on my friend, who didn't know Kareem Abdul Jabar from Marilyn Manson. She looked for Courtney the whole three days, though.

So there you go. A pointless anecdote.

 

[Problem Child]

The lugwrench?

Weren't there any MEN around to help you get the tire off?

*sigh*

Texas men are such wussies. Take them out of their air-conditioned Navigators and away from their cell phones and they melt.

 

[Never]

What tiny Oregon town was she from?

 

[Laurel]

See, if I tell you that, and you live there, and you know her, then you can find out who I am. I'm on to your secret agent tactics, Never!

 

[Laurel]

I just wish I could have shoved the _______ (thing you use to try and unscrew those things I call lugnuts) up Bubba's ass without any lube.

Oh, that's the Tire Screwer Onner.

 

[lavender]

 

[Never]

Laurel:
"See, if I tell you that, and you live there, and you know her, then you can find out who I am. I'm on to your secret agent tactics, Never!"

I live in Mass right now so it's doubtful that I live in a small town in Oregon.
It's also doubtful that I know her as I didn't know anyone there when I did live there.
And I already know who you are.

So, what was my point?

 

[lavender]

 

[Laurel]

Actually there weren't. Long story. I kinda fucked up and got us in an area where help didn't exist.

They have this really cool program in LA in which tow trucks patrol the freeways during rush hour, and will give free tows to anyone who breaks down. On many of the freeways, there's no shoulder so one flat tire can stop traffic for miles. And even when there's a shoulder, if you're unlucky enough to get stuck on the left side without a cell phone, you're screwed. Attempting to change a tire in a 10-ft-wide shoulder is a sure way to get killed. So these trucks are a godsend. Saved many people I know from sleeping on in the middle of the 405.

 

[Laurel]

So, what was my point?

Is that rhetorical, or am I supposed to know this? Is this a quiz?

 

[LadyDarkFire]

Up in Northern California we have call boxes every mile (half a mile in dangerous areas) so you are never far from a phone. and do you mean the Tire Iron?

 

[Laurel]

Yes, Laurel, that thing.

You don't have to know its name, just how to use it. You put one of the holes over the turny thing, then you jump up and down one one of the free arms like a madperson until 1) the nut loosens, or 2) the tire turner thingy flies off and cracks your skull.