the smell of my own farts

[Problem Child]

Is pleasant and refreshing. I really like smelling them. They're like a barometer for my gastrointestinal health. Sometimes I even pull the covers over my head whilst flatulating in bed to get the full effect.

I sometimes ruminate over the effect that certain foods will have on my fartatious scentology, and look forward to the fragranticity that will be produced after my colonocity does its marvelous work.

On the other hand, I think other persons anal emissions are foul and want no part of them.

I am a ass-gas elitest. A self-absorbed snob of my own gaseous emissions.

Are there any others of my ilk here?

 

[*bratcat*]

 

[lavender]

 

[KillerMuffin]

Uh.

Um.

Er.

PC? PC who? No, I've never heard of anyone named PC. Nope.

 

[Guest]

 

[DopeyAngel]

Now I know what we all find so attractive.......

 

[Rambling Rose]

Nobody light a match!

 

[Problem Child]

You're all in denial. I pity you.

 

[riff]

I have noticed on occasion that if I eat beef, my farts smell like beef.

In the same regard, if I drink a lot of coffee, when I take a leak, it smells like coffee.

 

[KillerMuffin]

I found a buttplug in cym's closet and stole it.

If I can get a little help to catch him and hawgtie him, I'll stick this bad boy up his ass and we can dispense with the threat of his biological weaponry.

 

[Calamity Jane]

I found a buttplug in cym's closet and stole it.

If I can get a little help to catch him and hawgtie him, I'll stick this bad boy up his ass and we can dispense with the threat of his biological weaponry.

Where's the sign up sheet?

 

[Problem Child]

I found a buttplug in cym's closet and stole it.

If I can get a little help to catch him and hawgtie him, I'll stick this bad boy up his ass and we can dispense with the threat of his biological weaponry.

That would be a hopeless endevour, much akin to trying to cork up old faithful.

You would merely be creating one of the world's most powerful ass-cannons, and God help anyone foolish enough to be caught downrange after I indulge in two burrito supremes.

 

[Guest]

The Farter From Sparta ~ Anon

 

[kotori]

Brilliant

Fucking brilliant, Foxy. I haven't laughed like this in weeks.

 

[Rambling Rose]

Brilliant? I'd say it was fartastic!

 

[unclej]

someone help me out with a name... a customer just dropped off a small biography of a frenchman that lived during vaudville days and could not only fart at will but in tune...he had the ability to take in as much air as needed and could literally play music with his ass...made his living that way and was one of the most popular entertainers of his time...

 

[SilverVeil]

I think it is so gross to be in public and walk through some strangers fart gas cloud. I have had this happen. They should make signs like " wet floor " signs that say .... " Danger, noxious emission cloud ahead, Hold breath "

 

[christophe]

i think its called the "Dutch oven treatment"


and we all know women dont fart they either "poot" or hold it and explode when they are 50

 

[Woodmiester]

Is pleasant and refreshing. I really like smelling them.

Are there any others of my ilk here?

I have a person I know, can't call him a buddy, in New Jersey that must be your twin, he not only relishes in his farts, he truly gets some sort of sexual thrill I think. Not only will he (in public) rip it out in all his glory, he'll make sure those within hearing knows he did it, and will lift his nose to enjoy every partical of it he can.
If this isn't enough, while bunking in the same dorm as him, I awoke one night to see him reaching his hand down his pants as if trying to grab the odor and bringing it to his nose, now maybe I don't mine my own gas as much as others, but that's fuckin sick.

Now that some of you are I'm sure hurling, I'll depart

And this is 100% true, no bullshit, oops, sorry about the pun

 

[Guest]

http://165.221.52.2/fire2001/frye/photos/fridley/fridley-fire-smoke-trees.jpg

 

[Rambling Rose]

I told you all before - NO MATCHES!!!

 

[alexandraaah]

I never took you for a "Jeff."

http://www.theonion.com/onion3420/jeff_smell.html

 

[pondman]

:eek ~ holding nose~

 

[Skibum]

I don't know if it still exists, but there used to be a web site called fart.com

 

[TN_Vixen]

I can't even respond to this thread.

How to begin? How to be utterly flabbergasted? All I can say is that it's a good damn thing that computers haven't evolved to the point of projecting smells in association with posters.

Good G'Damn thing.