The Sheltering Tree

[Spenser41]

actually...i have told my therapist....she knows everything.....i didn't ask for help...i wanted someone to simply listen

Hon the purpose of this thread was to listen, which I think we all did, and to encourage and support you, which many on here did that as well. After spending time as a crisis hotline counselor, when someone says, I am going to kill myself, I respond to encourage that person to get support and help to keep them from following through that action. Matter of fact, everyone on here did the same thing. We all responded with concern and support and suggestions. No you didn't ask for help, but that is what this thread is about. Helping one another and when someone says ... I am going to kill myself, that is just what everyone here did, reach out.

what i don't appreciate is someone blindly judging me on my few posts when you don't understand the situation nor do you know what I HAVE DONE. furthermore, you sound like so many others i've encountered who, while it's nice to care, feel the need to offer suggestions when i never asked.....i would not ask for help on here because words only do so much.

I have re-read everything that has been posted and everything I have said and to be honest, I do not see any judgement, but people trying to understand why someone would just say... I am going to kill myself and then just push everyone away from what they say as judgement when everyone I think has been trying to support you. Again you keep saying... I did not ask for help. You are right, you didn't, but by coming to this thread, we assumed you did and we were wrong. No one was judging you, everyone was trying to help. I will not say I am sorry for that, because that is just what I created the thread for.

You made a comment that others have offered suggestions which you did not want. Hon, it is human nature to want to stop someone to kill themselves. Because one - it is against the law and two - people do not want to see someone do that. So all we are guilty of is caring and trying to help. Maybe what you should have said was, I do not want anyone to suggest anything or to offer support or to care. I am just venting and that is all I am doing. Venting. But see, again, if you had read the begining of this thread, it is for support and encouragement and that is just what everone did. If you just wanted to vent, maybe you should do a diary or find just one person here on Lit that you know well, that could just let you do that. Vent...

i have my family and friends who understand me completely and know that i am VERY lucky to have them but it does not change my pattern of thought.....i'm not coming by this thread anymore to be tossed aside or judged. if you knew what i was actually going through....you would not have posted this.....

Well some of the people on here do know what you are going through as they are in the same place you are. They have a sickness or illness that does not allow them to work, and they look for support from the system and many were told no and they had to keep fighting for that support. So to say NO ONE knows what you are going through is wrong. And NO ONE tossed you aside or judged you. All of us have been here for you, but I could tell, you didn't want the help. So, as you have asked, we will no longer offer suggestions or try to help. If you want to keep posting - go ahead, but I can not promise you that people are not going to reach out, because that is just what people do. But NO ONE tossed you aside and no one Judged you. I said just to the people here, what you have just said... you do not want the suggestions, so stop offering it.

don't worry....i'm getting help and will continue to do so....i know i have a problem and i AM doing what i possible can. maybe i'll pull through maybe not but that's up to me.....

You are right, it is up to you... which is just want I said in my last post to you.

i just wanted someone to listen. don't worry....i won't post here anymore as it is obvious that i am being judge and not being taken seriously enough. amazing how you all seem to have solution for my problems but what about others? you can type whatever you want on here but most things are easier said then done.

nevermind, it's obvious you don't care and that reading that i want to kill myself upsets you....so i will no longer post my problems on the board and i will rely on my friends and family to pull me through....at least they know exactly what i'm going through.

Delta, one thing you can not accuse this group of people of, is not caring. We did care, which is why we responded. If we didn't care, we would have said... "go ahead... do it. We don't care one way or another." And when you got mad at the other thread who said what people who do kill themselves are selfish, I defended you and even went to that thread and told them how I felt it upset people and they should think about what they posted. You know what they said? "Let her kill herself. It is her life, she wants to end it... ok ... let her end it." That to me is not caring, but just saying to a person who may jump off a building... JUMP...JUMP...JUMP.... I am not like that. Neither are the others here on the thread. We did care and we did reach out.. but we didn't do what you wanted and you took it as non caring. Well, I am sorry you did. All I can say is, if you want to post I am going to end it, people will respond. If you do not want people to respond, then start a thread, tell people up front you do not want posts of suggestions or help... but just to vent and I hope it works out for you. But if you want people that care about you and want to help or support you... well that is why this is here. If you leave it is your choice... but we did not judge you or toss you out or push you out. All we did was care... and sorry that is not what you wanted.

 

[Spenser41]

HEY HEY HEY
It's a new day. The sun is shining (at least where I am). Sit back and soak up the son. Sending out warm thoughts and prayers for all of us here.

We are all dealing with something in RL, it helps to have friends here and there that you can escape with. Someones problems are always bigger then yours. No one lives in a perfect world - I personally don't think it would be any fun. *jumps of the soapbox*

Spencer, thanks for the chat the other day. It helps.

Asking special prayers for a close friend of mine - they had a house fire yesterday. lost the 2nd floor and the house is not livable. but thank the lord all 5 kids, pops, and mom and dad and the cat made it out ok. Was going to Houston to help her this weekend, but another friend called last night and her mom passed away and needs me to watch the 2yr old for a week while they go to MS. So keep both in your prayers this week.

love, hugs, kisses to all
s

Hon I will for sure keep them in my thoughts and prayers. Thanks for sharing that with us.

 

[shmily]

Good Morning - tree huggers

special prayers to Jazzy, mary, spenser, Toni, and all the others.

It's a beautiful day here - sun is shining - its going to be hot.

Have a blessed day

s

 

[smy3th]

Let me just say that people who are feeling suicidal are often not thinking all that clearly. Their thinking has gotten skewed. Consequently, they may not seem as logical or rational as we might wish. But then, no one is truly rational. None of us are Mr. Spock. We all tend to respond to the world emotionally, rather than rationally. On the one hand, we think, "Why would anyone want to kill themselves. They'd have to be crazy to do that." And then when someone comes along who says they are thinking about it, we tend to be surprised that their thinking sounds a little crazy. Well, duh. Of course it does. But then, craziness is in the eye of the beholder.

I'm not sure what the answer is to this problem. How do we respond to people who appear not to be thinking straight? Will just telling them solve the problem?

I think we do need to confront irrational thinking. In fact, the current psychological trends in the treatment of depression are toward individual cognitive therapy, in which the therapist confronts the irrational, overly negative thinking. Also, group therapy has been recognized as often just the wrong thing for them, as they tend to just hear others with the same sort of skewed thinking.

I don't have the answers here, any more than anyone else, except, lets take care not to even appear angry at depressed or suicial people. We do care. We often do get angry at the people we care about. Getting angry means we care. Expressing that anger may not be useful.

 

[Spenser41]

Let me just say that people who are feeling suicidal are often not thinking all that clearly. Their thinking has gotten skewed. Consequently, they may not seem as logical or rational as we might wish. But then, no one is truly rational. None of us are Mr. Spock. We all tend to respond to the world emotionally, rather than rationally. On the one hand, we think, "Why would anyone want to kill themselves. They'd have to be crazy to do that." And then when someone comes along who says they are thinking about it, we tend to be surprised that their thinking sounds a little crazy. Well, duh. Of course it does. But then, craziness is in the eye of the beholder.

I'm not sure what the answer is to this problem. How do we respond to people who appear not to be thinking straight? Will just telling them solve the problem?

I think we do need to confront irrational thinking. In fact, the current psychological trends in the treatment of depression are toward individual cognitive therapy, in which the therapist confronts the irrational, overly negative thinking. Also, group therapy has been recognized as often just the wrong thing for them, as they tend to just hear others with the same sort of skewed thinking.

I don't have the answers here, any more than anyone else, except, lets take care not to even appear angry at depressed or suicial people. We do care. We often do get angry at the people we care about. Getting angry means we care. Expressing that anger may not be useful.

I agree with you 100%. And have stated as such in the Suicide thread on the GB when people were mad at people who are thinking this or who have done this and saying they are selfish and such. Someone who are thinking this are not thinking clear with is why all of us have posted how concern we were. And mostly telling her to go talk to them and tell them, what she is currently doing is not working. But according to her, she has done all of this many times and nothing works.. nothing at all. So she has stopped trying and just wanted to vent.
I don't think anyone here has been mad or angry with her. Sometimes it is hard to know the tone in a voice by just reading the words on the screen. But I have never gotten mad or upset with her at any time and I don't believe anyone else has either.
But the main thing at this point is to let her vent and to pray for her. Nothing much more we can do as I stated, we are not able to handle a serious mental crisis on a chat room. But thanks for sharing your thoughts..

 

[MaryBears]

Good Afternoon!!!

I think everyone has been as kind and caring as they can be...and yes the only thing we can do is pray that she gets the help she needs.....AND like I stated before and I stand by this...The Good Lord hears prayers and he is the only one that knows everything.....AND thru prayer and faith, I have came this far.

I use to think how can anyone consider suicide...well I know know...been there and done that....it is a very low place to be.....and yes you think that your all alone but your not....You have to reach out and believe in God that things will get better.....that is all I can say.

​

 

[Spenser41]

Good Afternoon!!!

I think everyone has been as kind and caring as they can be...and yes the only thing we can do is pray that she gets the help she needs.....AND like I stated before and I stand by this...The Good Lord hears prayers and he is the only one that knows everything.....AND thru prayer and faith, I have came this far.

I use to think how can anyone consider suicide...well I know know...been there and done that....it is a very low place to be.....and yes you think that your all alone but your not....You have to reach out and believe in God that things will get better.....that is all I can say.

​

AMEN SISTER! Could not said it better myself. Hugs and Kisses Mary!

 

[shmily]

Getting some rain here in my little corner of Texas.

Hope all is well.

catch ya later
s

 

[Spenser41]

YEA US TOO! Finally got some rain here in KY. We have been dry for weeks. It was so nice to get some rain. Right before it hit, we were 102! It has been so bad the trees leaves are changing and falling off. I think the beauty of fall is going to be a short lived one.
But it was so nice to get some rain, however it is a drop in a bucket to what we really need. It would take more then a good couple of weeks of rain to get us back to normal.
Hope everyone has a good weekend.

 

[shmily]

Good morning hows everyone under the tree today?

s

 

[newme]

Good morning hows everyone under the tree today?

s

Doing well today, thanks Shmily!

 

[Spenser41]

Good morning hows everyone under the tree today?

s

Doing just fine hon. How are you? Enjoying that time alone?

 

[Spenser41]

Doing well today, thanks Shmily!

Hey Newme... how are you doing? Thanks for popping in!

 

[newme]

Hey Newme... how are you doing? Thanks for popping in!

I pop in when I can Spenser. I also wanted to tell I was impressed at your thoughtful replies to delta. It is a difficult situation that I was also trying to help with, and your comments were greatly appreciated. You put into words what I was thinking. We are all here to help whenever needed, and I have been impressed by how many people really do care. Thanks for being there even while in the middle of your own problems.

 

[shmily]

Good afternoon Newme. Hope you are having a good day.
I'm waiting for my son to call - then we are off to have lunch and visit with family.
catch ya'll later
s

 

[Spenser41]

I pop in when I can Spenser. I also wanted to tell I was impressed at your thoughtful replies to delta. It is a difficult situation that I was also trying to help with, and your comments were greatly appreciated. You put into words what I was thinking. We are all here to help whenever needed, and I have been impressed by how many people really do care. Thanks for being there even while in the middle of your own problems.

Thanks for the sweet words... pm in your box.

 

[Spenser41]

Good afternoon Newme. Hope you are having a good day.
I'm waiting for my son to call - then we are off to have lunch and visit with family.
catch ya'll later
s

That sounds wonderful hon.. I hope you have a great time with him!

 

[Emes]

Just popping in to say hello to everyone from lil' ol' me in the UK.

 

[Spenser41]

Just popping in to say hello to everyone from lil' ol' me in the UK.

Always great to hear from our cousins in the UK. Thanks for dropping by Emes.

 

[Emes]

Always great to hear from our cousins in the UK. Thanks for dropping by Emes.

This is a nice place to be so its not a problem!

Hope things are going well with you and yours Spencer...and with everyone else and their families too

 

[shmily]

Whew, just got home - had a wonderful visit with my son and my sisters.
But good to be back home. Another quiet evening, starting.
Hiya = emes - hope all is well with you in the UK

Spenser - thanks for the thoughts.

Catch ya later
s

 

[MaryBears]

Thanks Spenser and *Hugs* right back at you.....We all need to be hugged.....or a simple smile can bring some one down back up!!! I think that you started a good thread here hun...and Thanks for doing so.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS TO ALL}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} ​

AMEN SISTER! Could not said it better myself. Hugs and Kisses Mary!

 

[shmily]

Good evening all you Tree huggers.
Hope everyone had a peaceful day.
Keeping you all in prayers.

s

 

[shadow_dreamer]

The comforting shade under the Tree

It's been awhile since I've wandered and sat under the shade and comfort of the Tree but here I am. I've got a lot of reading to catch up but during my scanning of the posts I couldn not help but say that the Tree is a place of comfort, a place where one can vent, cry, offer help and lend an ear. I also have to say that everyone here is like an extended family to me. In Hawaii we have lots and lots of aunts, uncles, cousins, sisters, brothers, etc. but in reality many of them are not related; we take in, become close to and hold people close to our hearts and consider them family and to me that is what each and everyone here is to me.

I'm back on heavy meds; in fact, they doubled everything I was taking and have added pain pills so I'm pretty much down for the count most of the time although I try my best to walk around in the house (not just to the kitchen and bathroom) to keep the muscles in my leg from becoming atrophied again. It's an up and down thing and each day is different but at least I'm able to deal with the emotions that come with my medical problems. Jazey baby you know exactly what I mean!

I want to thank those who put up with our medical and emotional problems and help us though our ups and downs. It seems after awhile we seem to forget or take others for granted which is human nature but if you have someone who helps you out in any way, be it medically, emotionally, physically or financially, take the time out to give him/her a great big hug and kiss and say thank you. I want to take this time to open my arms and reach out and hug each and everyone of you and give you all a big juicy kiss on the cheek for being so caring, loving and allowing me to share in the comfort of the Tree. Spenser, here's a great big hug (gently of course) and a kiss and a fragrant hawaiian lei for you for starting this thread and giving us a place to come to to sit, enjoy the cool shade and to share special times with you and others!

Aloha all...take care and until next time es and hugs,
Shadow

 

[MaryBears]

Shadow hun.....I don't know the details of your health problems but I too have lots of health problems.....And you are so right that everyone needs a friend to lean on even if it is just to listen......We all need each other and there are always lots good and bad going on in life.....I hope and pray that you get well or at least well enough to possibly get off some of the meds......God Bless You!!!!

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Group Hug to all}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} ​

It's been awhile since I've wandered and sat under the shade and comfort of the Tree but here I am. I've got a lot of reading to catch up but during my scanning of the posts I couldn not help but say that the Tree is a place of comfort, a place where one can vent, cry, offer help and lend an ear. I also have to say that everyone here is like an extended family to me. In Hawaii we have lots and lots of aunts, uncles, cousins, sisters, brothers, etc. but in reality many of them are not related; we take in, become close to and hold people close to our hearts and consider them family and to me that is what each and everyone here is to me.

I'm back on heavy meds; in fact, they doubled everything I was taking and have added pain pills so I'm pretty much down for the count most of the time although I try my best to walk around in the house (not just to the kitchen and bathroom) to keep the muscles in my leg from becoming atrophied again. It's an up and down thing and each day is different but at least I'm able to deal with the emotions that come with my medical problems. Jazey baby you know exactly what I mean!

I want to thank those who put up with our medical and emotional problems and help us though our ups and downs. It seems after awhile we seem to forget or take others for granted which is human nature but if you have someone who helps you out in any way, be it medically, emotionally, physically or financially, take the time out to give him/her a great big hug and kiss and say thank you. I want to take this time to open my arms and reach out and hug each and everyone of you and give you all a big juicy kiss on the cheek for being so caring, loving and allowing me to share in the comfort of the Tree. Spenser, here's a great big hug (gently of course) and a kiss and a fragrant hawaiian lei for you for starting this thread and giving us a place to come to to sit, enjoy the cool shade and to share special times with you and others!

Aloha all...take care and until next time es and hugs,
Shadow