The SCOURIES reader – for both fans and serious scholars…

[scouries]

[size=+3]

“HER MAJESTY QUEEN LAUREL III and HER CONSORT, MANU the MAGNIFICENT”

​

[/size]


Posted on the Gabby poem...

my FAVORITEST POEM on the site...

09/30/08 by scouries in Under Gabby right now....

Wonderful work my good man! Its an inspiration to see how you move so easily from short stories to reviews to poetry to full length novels without missing a beat. You're a true five star writer ***** And I'd just like to take this opportunity to challenge misshick, danikat, the princess, lady freakenstein and stella to add this poem to their FAVORITEST POEM list. And all the rest of you readers out there too. It's easy - just click the ADD TO FAVORITES button. This guys a modern day Lord Byron...jim

jrs

 

[starrkers]

James R Scouries is not affiliated with Literotica or its management in any way. His opinions are his own and are not generally shared by the users of this forum.

 

[LadynStFreknBed]

Freddie,

On Friday night, are we still going to talk about you being my patron? I figure, if you pay off my mortgage, a measely $40K at the most, I would send you all the artwork I create over the next 5 years.. plus, any cash awards or comission on short stories and poetry. (Google profit and Webcontent articles excluded. I have to have some income to claim on my taxes.) I reserve the rights to sell prints of my artwork. I can help you sell originals if you want. We can hammer out the details on Friday. I know you'll want to see a minimum turnout on the art. That's fine.

And, I know you aren't going to want to just talk business.

 

[Stella_Omega]

(edit of this post; )

Hey, Freddie, you really should entertain Lady's offer. Maybe re-write that love poem and title it;

"To a Real Lady."

(instead of a vinyl one)

 

[scouries]

A sad day in LITEROTICA land…

Unfortunately my dear fans, I, james r scouries, have to announce that I will not be entering a story in the upcoming HALLOWEEN CONTEST under the scouries name.

I made this difficult decision after considering all the facts and after I realized that my good name was being used to help legitimize a corrupt and evil system.

I’ve warned the QUEEN (so far to no avail) that a nest of AHland vipers were doing everything in their power to cheat the many hardworking authors who are the real backbone of this site. Vampires that are willing to suck the lifeblood from honest, hardworking writers who aren’t willing to kowtow to their obscene requests.

But never fear dear readers, wonderful scourian stories will continue to flow from my pen out to you my faithful readers. They simply won’t be entered in this HALLOWEEN HORROR!

james r scouries​

An open letter to miss laurel

Dear LAUREL ,

Re: LITEROTICA’s SPECIAL CONTESTS​

​

As you know I’ve never had any confidence in your Monthly Contests (and hence had no respect for the winners or their stories) but I’ve always enjoyed the LITEROTICA SPECIAL CONTESTS. Since I discovered their existence in late 2005 I’ve judged them, commented on them, and entered many of them.

When I first discovered these contests they were little more than backwater AHland love-ins where winning stories struggled to amass even the ridiculously low total of 25 votes. Where cheating and ballot box stuffing were de rigueur.

And so I bravely lent my name to these contests hoping that my popularity would bring them out of the shadows and into the broader LITEROTICAN world. To make them honest contests where the votes of the reading public actually counted!

And to a degree it helped. Vote totals of even the least unconventional stories went up. Viewership went up. As you know I’ve always been happy to help our less mainstream authors become exposed to a wider audience. I’ve always felt it’s the duty of the famous to offer a hand up to those who are less blessed.

And of course the scouries brand name started to work its magic. I enjoyed entering my stories and can happily say that I’ve written the most voted on story in every contest I’ve ever entered. Four (4) of my SPECIAL CONTEST entries in fact are now members of the very exclusive 1000+ VOTE CLUB, a singular achievement.

But there were still problems! Some AHers hated the thought that actual readers would decide the winners. “Heaven forbid,” they cried to each other, “What do readers know about writing, about what they’re reading. Leave the scoring to us.” Yeah right!

And so they continued to cheat. To find ways around the rules. To subvert the new spirit of goodwill that was starting to develop.

In my typical sprit of helpfulness I even went out of my way to give you suggestions on how to improve the contests. Brilliant ideas for improvements that my less forward thinking colleagues are incapable of imagining, let alone proposing.

At one time or another I’ve suggested (among many others):

1 - Limiting entries to one story per author per contest;
2 - That you appoint a commissar of contests;
3 – That you raise the number of votes required to qualify for prizes;
4 - That you vary the contest categories from year to year;
5 - That contest stories be highlighted on the NEW STORY page when issued;
6 - That every contest story carry an official advisory identifying it as a contest entry and encourage readers to vote;
7 - That you publish complete voting results at the end of each contest (including figures on votes swept away);
8 – That to vary the challenge certain specified contests will require a defined number of words as opposed to anything from 750 to infinity (i.e. a contest limited to 3000-5000 words or 7000-10,000 words);
9 – That at east once a year you only announce the contest category at the last minute to promote original stories;
10 – That you award prizes for other things besides highest rating – i.e. most views, most votes, highest number of 5 votes, etc.
11 – That you fix the clearly broken voting system;
12 – That you define once and for all what is a legal vote and what isn’t;
13 – That you disqualify known cheaters;
14 – That you ban from entering anyone with kittty, cat, pussy, kitten, kittyn, kitt, etc., etc., in their name.
And finally…

That you act LIKE A LEADER to the troops!

So far all we’ve heard is A DEAFENING SILENCE……

The results of the latest contest (2008 NUDE DAY) have convinced me that the scouries name and the ScouriesWorld trade mark are now being sullied by their connection to these special contests. That you are using my participation to gain credibility for a corrupt system.

A system that is now more reminiscent of a Haitian or Zimbabwean election than it is of a fair contest we Americans would expect. Manu will soon have to change his name to ManuMugabe if he continues to thwart the wills of the voting public.

I now believe that by allowing you to continue to disenfranchise thousands of our readers and my fans, my company and I are becoming complicit in this ongoing travesty.

As an act of political protest to these undemocratic actions I will not be entering a story in the upcoming 2008 LITEROTICA HALLOWEEN CONTEST under the [size=+2]scouries[/size] banner.

Instead I’ll continue to highlight the problems and hopefully finally provoke the changes needed to bring fairness and honesty to this now corrupted institution.

Yours truly,

james r scouries esq.
a concerned best selling author
literotica’s #1 royalty earner
miami beach, florida

 

[Stella_Omega]

James R Scouries is not affiliated with Literotica or its management in any way.
His opinions are his own and are not generally shared by the users of this forum.

 

[xspy4u]

A little concerned

I did a search of James R Scouries with the Florida Bar association - because of his use of esq which implies he is a licensed attorney. I couldn't find him listed (may be an oversight or I just missed it) but in Florida the law reads:

454.23 Penalties.--Any person not licensed or otherwise authorized to practice law in this state who practices law in this state or holds himself or herself out to the public as qualified to practice law in this state, or who willfully pretends to be, or willfully takes or uses any name, title, addition, or description implying that he or she is qualified, or recognized by law as qualified, to practice law in this state, commits a felony of the third degree, punishable as provided in s. 775.082, s. 775.083, or s. 775.084.

I just wouldn't want such a great guy to have an have touble with the law -

 

[michchick98]

James R Scouries is not affiliated with Literotica or its management in any way. His opinions are his own and are not generally shared by the thousands of users of this site.

Please also note, any claimed emails or PMs sent to Laurel or Manu go left unanswered and James R. Scouries earns no money writing for this site. In fact, check your Monopoly game, you may be missing some money there.

 

[michchick98]

I did a search of James R Scouries with the Florida Bar association - because of his use of esq which implies he is a licensed attorney. I couldn't find him listed (may be an oversight or I just missed it) but in Florida the law reads:

454.23 Penalties.--Any person not licensed or otherwise authorized to practice law in this state who practices law in this state or holds himself or herself out to the public as qualified to practice law in this state, or who willfully pretends to be, or willfully takes or uses any name, title, addition, or description implying that he or she is qualified, or recognized by law as qualified, to practice law in this state, commits a felony of the third degree, punishable as provided in s. 775.082, s. 775.083, or s. 775.084.

I just wouldn't want such a great guy to have an have touble with the law -

I really hope that 'such a great guy' comment is sarcasm. If not, then perhaps a reading of the disclaimers posted most recently by myself, Stella_Omega and starrkers should clear things up for you.

Just in case, here it is again:

James R Scouries is not affiliated with Literotica or its management in any way. His opinions are his own and are not generally shared by the thousands of users of this site.

Please also note, any claimed emails or PMs sent to Laurel or Manu go left unanswered and James R. Scouries earns no money writing for this site. In fact, check your Monopoly game, you may be missing some money there.

Oh and he's a delusional fuck-wit, too.

 

[sr71plt]

I really hope that 'such a great guy' comment is sarcasm. If not, then perhaps a reading of the disclaimers posted most recently by myself, Stella_Omega and starrkers should clear things up for you.

The sarcasm in the "great guy" comment was pretty obvious in context. Getting a little intense, aren't we? Like maybe you're making clear to Scouries that he can get to you?

 

[michchick98]

Unfortunately my dear fans, I, james r scouries, have to announce that I will not be entering a story in the upcoming HALLOWEEN CONTEST under the scouries name.

And there was much rejoicing and it was good.

 

[Safe_Bet]

I did a search of James R Scouries with the Florida Bar association - because of his use of esq which implies he is a licensed attorney. I couldn't find him listed (may be an oversight or I just missed it) but in Florida the law reads:

454.23 Penalties.--Any person not licensed or otherwise authorized to practice law in this state who practices law in this state or holds himself or herself out to the public as qualified to practice law in this state, or who willfully pretends to be, or willfully takes or uses any name, title, addition, or description implying that he or she is qualified, or recognized by law as qualified, to practice law in this state, commits a felony of the third degree, punishable as provided in s. 775.082, s. 775.083, or s. 775.084.

I just wouldn't want such a great guy to have an have touble with the law -

*ultra humongous mega snerk*

Ah, Jane - best be losing that esq. Muahahaha!

Good one xspy4u!

 

[starrkers]

And there was much rejoicing and it was good.

Don't cheer too soon. He's probably entering as an alt.

 

[BOSTONFICTIONWRITER]

Grand_High_Poobah is an alternate identity used by James R Scouries, who is not affiliated with Literotica or its management in any way. His opinions are his own and are not generally shared by the users of this forum.

Shouldn't you be out back in the outback lying out on your back with your big thighs spread?

After a while the bright red ink is as annoying as you are.

If you hate him and his thread, why read it? Why do you post here?

I hate beer. You will never see me drink it. Duh.

I hate Japanese cars. You'll never see me driving one. Duh.

Now, me hating beer and Japanese cars would be driving a Honda while drinking a Bud. Why would I do that?

Why are you here?

 

[starrkers]

Shouldn't you be out back in the outback lying out on your back with your big thighs spread?

After a while the bright red ink is as annoying as you are.

If you hate him and his thread, why read it? Why do you post here?

I hate beer. You will never see me drink it. Duh.

I hate Japanese cars. You'll never see me driving one. Duh.

Now, me hating beer and Japanese cars would be driving a Honda while drinking a Bud. Why would I do that?

Why are you here?

Shouldn't you be off spending your millions on philanthropic ventures so you can come here and rub our noses in your good deeds?

After a while the skiting is as annoying as the whining.

What gave you the impression that I hate scouries? I find him highly amusing.

Stella posts disclaimers.

Tex Rd posts disclaimers

Michchick posts disclaimers.

Why are you singling me out (again)?

 

[Stella_Omega]

James R Scouries is not affiliated with Literotica or its management in any way.
His opinions are his own and are not generally shared by the users of this forum.
I wrote the thing in the first place, Freddie.

But we've had this conversation already.

 

[BOSTONFICTIONWRITER]

Unfortunately my dear fans, I, james r scouries, have to announce that I will not be entering a story in the upcoming HALLOWEEN CONTEST under the scouries name.

I made this difficult decision after considering all the facts and after I realized that my good name was being used to help legitimize a corrupt and evil system.

I’ve warned the QUEEN (so far to no avail) that a nest of AHland vipers were doing everything in their power to cheat the many hardworking authors who are the real backbone of this site. Vampires that are willing to suck the lifeblood from honest, hardworking writers who aren’t willing to kowtow to their obscene requests.

But never fear dear readers, wonderful scourian stories will continue to flow from my pen out to you my faithful readers. They simply won’t be entered in this HALLOWEEN HORROR!

james r scouries​

An open letter to miss laurel

Dear LAUREL ,

Re: LITEROTICA’s SPECIAL CONTESTS​

​

As you know I’ve never had any confidence in your Monthly Contests (and hence had no respect for the winners or their stories) but I’ve always enjoyed the LITEROTICA SPECIAL CONTESTS. Since I discovered their existence in late 2005 I’ve judged them, commented on them, and entered many of them.

When I first discovered these contests they were little more than backwater AHland love-ins where winning stories struggled to amass even the ridiculously low total of 25 votes. Where cheating and ballot box stuffing were de rigueur.

And so I bravely lent my name to these contests hoping that my popularity would bring them out of the shadows and into the broader LITEROTICAN world. To make them honest contests where the votes of the reading public actually counted!

And to a degree it helped. Vote totals of even the least unconventional stories went up. Viewership went up. As you know I’ve always been happy to help our less mainstream authors become exposed to a wider audience. I’ve always felt it’s the duty of the famous to offer a hand up to those who are less blessed.

And of course the scouries brand name started to work its magic. I enjoyed entering my stories and can happily say that I’ve written the most voted on story in every contest I’ve ever entered. Four (4) of my SPECIAL CONTEST entries in fact are now members of the very exclusive 1000+ VOTE CLUB, a singular achievement.

But there were still problems! Some AHers hated the thought that actual readers would decide the winners. “Heaven forbid,” they cried to each other, “What do readers know about writing, about what they’re reading. Leave the scoring to us.” Yeah right!

And so they continued to cheat. To find ways around the rules. To subvert the new spirit of goodwill that was starting to develop.

In my typical sprit of helpfulness I even went out of my way to give you suggestions on how to improve the contests. Brilliant ideas for improvements that my less forward thinking colleagues are incapable of imagining, let alone proposing.

At one time or another I’ve suggested (among many others):

1 - Limiting entries to one story per author per contest;
2 - That you appoint a commissar of contests;
3 – That you raise the number of votes required to qualify for prizes;
4 - That you vary the contest categories from year to year;
5 - That contest stories be highlighted on the NEW STORY page when issued;
6 - That every contest story carry an official advisory identifying it as a contest entry and encourage readers to vote;
7 - That you publish complete voting results at the end of each contest (including figures on votes swept away);
8 – That to vary the challenge certain specified contests will require a defined number of words as opposed to anything from 750 to infinity (i.e. a contest limited to 3000-5000 words or 7000-10,000 words);
9 – That at east once a year you only announce the contest category at the last minute to promote original stories;
10 – That you award prizes for other things besides highest rating – i.e. most views, most votes, highest number of 5 votes, etc.
11 – That you fix the clearly broken voting system;
12 – That you define once and for all what is a legal vote and what isn’t;
13 – That you disqualify known cheaters;
14 – That you ban from entering anyone with kittty, cat, pussy, kitten, kittyn, kitt, etc., etc., in their name.
And finally…

That you act LIKE A LEADER to the troops!

So far all we’ve heard is A DEAFENING SILENCE……

The results of the latest contest (2008 NUDE DAY) have convinced me that the scouries name and the ScouriesWorld trade mark are now being sullied by their connection to these special contests. That you are using my participation to gain credibility for a corrupt system.

A system that is now more reminiscent of a Haitian or Zimbabwean election than it is of a fair contest we Americans would expect. Manu will soon have to change his name to ManuMugabe if he continues to thwart the wills of the voting public.

I now believe that by allowing you to continue to disenfranchise thousands of our readers and my fans, my company and I are becoming complicit in this ongoing travesty.

As an act of political protest to these undemocratic actions I will not be entering a story in the upcoming 2008 LITEROTICA HALLOWEEN CONTEST under the [size=+2]scouries[/size] banner.

Instead I’ll continue to highlight the problems and hopefully finally provoke the changes needed to bring fairness and honesty to this now corrupted institution.

Yours truly,

james r scouries esq.
a concerned best selling author
literotica’s #1 royalty earner
miami beach, florida

This is filled with many wonderful ideas. Maybe if some of these rules were implemented, I'd have a chance to win a contest.

 

[BOSTONFICTIONWRITER]

James R Scouries is not affiliated with Literotica or its management in any way.
His opinions are his own and are not generally shared by the users of this forum.
I wrote the thing in the first place, Freddie.

But we've had this conversation already.

I still think that's it's not only rude, but wrong to the point of being juvenile.

Isn't the best tactic to not keep hitting your head against the wall when you can't control something? Isn't the best way to annoy him is to ignore him?

Why not allow him to go off on his own delusion, fantasy or reality? He's not bothering anyone.

He minds his own business. You are free to start your own thread and stand upon your soap box if you so wanted. This is America after all. You should give him the same courtesy that I would give you, should you decide to open a thread up, say on the rights of being a lesbian.

How would you like it if some ignorant sort posted something offensive to your sexual preference.

I'd be supporting you the same what that I'm supporting Jim now. You have the right to your views, as does everyone here.

 

[Safe_Bet]

Shouldn't you be out back in the outback lying out on your back with your big thighs spread?

After a while the bright red ink is as annoying as you are.

If you hate him and his thread, why read it? Why do you post here?

I hate beer. You will never see me drink it. Duh.

I hate Japanese cars. You'll never see me driving one. Duh.

Now, me hating beer and Japanese cars would be driving a Honda while drinking a Bud. Why would I do that?

Why are you here?

Damnit! I am agreeing with you again, Freddie!

Using only red is kind of dull. We really should use all kinds of big, flashy bright colors. Good idea. Thanks, dude!

Oh, and BTW, I REALLY like MichChick's version:

James R Scouries is not affiliated with Literotica or its management in any way. His opinions are his own and are not generally shared by the thousands of users of this site.

Please also note, any claimed emails or PMs sent to Laurel or Manu go left unanswered and James R. Scouries earns no money writing for this site. In fact, check your Monopoly game, you may be missing some money there.

Oh and he's a delusional fuck-wit, too.

 

[BOSTONFICTIONWRITER]

Shouldn't you be off spending your millions on philanthropic ventures so you can come here and rub our noses in your good deeds?

After a while the skiting is as annoying as the whining.

What gave you the impression that I hate scouries? I find him highly amusing.

Stella posts disclaimers.

Tex Rd posts disclaimers

Michchick posts disclaimers.

Why are you singling me out (again)?

I don't just single you out? Should I post to every disclaimer? Should I fill this thread with my objections in the way that you people fill the thread with your disclaimers?

I don't understand why everyone just doesn't ignore him and allow him to write whatever he wants.

 

[Elianna]

I still think that's it's not only rude, but wrong to the point of being juvenile.

Isn't the best tactic to not keep hitting your head against the wall when you can't control something? Isn't the best way to annoy him is to ignore him?

Why not allow him to go off on his own delusion, fantasy or reality? He's not bothering anyone.

He minds his own business. You are free to start your own thread and stand upon your soap box if you so wanted. This is America after all. You should give him the same courtesy that I would give you, should you decide to open a thread up, say on the rights of being a lesbian.

How would you like it if some ignorant sort posted something offensive to your sexual preference.

I'd be supporting you the same what that I'm supporting Jim now. You have the right to your views, as does everyone here.

Didn't you ask this same question last week? I think I answered it, but...

They post because it's fun. Just like scouries posts this because it's fun. Witty banter... anonymous bashing... people like it on both sides. If scouries was miserable, he'd leave. If people didn't enjoy this, they'd leave the thread.

Maybe they're all having fun. I know I have fun reading it. I think you have fun posting on it, too.

JMHO

 

[starrkers]

This is filled with many wonderful ideas. Maybe if some of these rules were implemented, I'd have a chance to win a contest.

Even No1? That's the one that would prevent you from flooding the contests with multiple mediocre entries.

Oh, but I momentarily forgot

BOSTONFICTIONWRITER is scouries faithful lapdog.

 

[starrkers]

I don't just single you out? Should I post to every disclaimer? Should I fill this thread with my objections in the way that you people fill the thread with your disclaimers?

I don't understand why everyone just doesn't ignore him and allow him to write whatever he wants.

That's what multiquote's for.
I'm sure the others would love to see what puerile insult you could throw their way.

We can't stop scouries writing what he wants, nor do many of us want to. He has his lists, we have our disclaimers, and the banter goes on regardless.

 

[BOSTONFICTIONWRITER]

Damnit! I am agreeing with you again, Freddie!

Using only red is kind of dull. We really should use all kinds of big, flashy bright colors. Good idea. Thanks, dude!

Oh, and BTW, I REALLY like MichChick's version:

James R Scouries is not affiliated with Literotica or its management in any way. His opinions are his own and are not generally shared by the thousands of users of this site.

Please also note, any claimed emails or PMs sent to Laurel or Manu go left unanswered and James R. Scouries earns no money writing for this site. In fact, check your Monopoly game, you may be missing some money there.

Oh and he's a delusional fuck-wit, too.

Yeah, well, I can make more sense with my dog than I can with you. Hmm, maybe Polo is smarter than you.

I have yet to read a positive post from you. Every post you make is like static that causes friction.

I read some of the other posts from Stella, Starrkers, Michchick, Tex, Ace and others and I smile. Whenever I read your post, I cringe.

It must be so awful to be so miserable. Is this what you do for fun? Why can't you be nice?

I help poor people and homeless people. Starrkers finds that I occasionally mention that fact annoying. I don't think that I can mention it enough because it is a major problem in this county.

Perhaps, instead of being so mean, you should give a helping hand to someone. It will give you a good feeling. Maybe, then, you'd be inclined to write something nice instead of something so caustic.

 

[BOSTONFICTIONWRITER]

That's what multiquote's for.
I'm sure the others would love to see what puerile insult you could throw their way.

We can't stop scouries writing what he wants, nor do many of us want to. He has his lists, we have our disclaimers, and the banter goes on regardless.

I have an idea. Why not start your own thread?