The Safe Haven

[Azuldrgon]

Those charts don't know everything sweetheart. My son was always wearing clothes that were a year or two behind what he should be and he was pretty darn healthy.

Doctors don't know everything either. I fought for 7 years to convince them that my son was delayed. All they would say is that I was imagining things or that he would grow out of it all. Turns out he is autistic. Go with your gut. She is healthy, happy and doing really well.

Sorry about the ear infection. Those are the worst. Poor baby and poor mommy. *hugs*

Thank you for what you shared. I am sure many will find it useful.

*super hugs*

 

[Spicy Southern Belle]

*super huge hugs to Spicy*


You already know everything I can tell you.

*super hugs*

I didn't mean to ignore you last night. *HUGS*

Thank you to everyone!!! You guys really are the best.

 

[thesweetsweetness]

Those charts don't know everything sweetheart. My son was always wearing clothes that were a year or two behind what he should be and he was pretty darn healthy.

Doctors don't know everything either. I fought for 7 years to convince them that my son was delayed. All they would say is that I was imagining things or that he would grow out of it all. Turns out he is autistic. Go with your gut. She is healthy, happy and doing really well.

Sorry about the ear infection. Those are the worst. Poor baby and poor mommy. *hugs*

Thank you for what you shared. I am sure many will find it useful.

Thank you.

I am concerned though, she hasn't been gaining too well. I'd have to dig out her paperwork to find exact amounts. From my memory here are her stats:
Birth: 7 lbs 2 oz - 50%
2 month: ? lbs ? oz - 25%
5 month: 12 lbs 2(?) oz - 5%
7 month: 12 lbs 14 oz - Negative 3%
I got behind on her well visit check ups and can't get back on track yet because we didn't want her to get her shots too soon. We needed to wait at least 6 weeks inbetween shots. They are plotting her weight with her correct age though.

Another thing that is concerning to me is her uncle, hubby's brother, had some unexplained growth issues as a baby. He was born at a good weight of 8 lbs-ish, was growing fine until six months old. He just about stopped growing, he was only 12 lbs at one year. They did all sorts of tests, even for dwarfism (not sure what it would technically be called?) They never found anything wrong. By the time he was 2.5-3 he was growing fine again. He stayed on the small side though school. Now at 30 he is not the tallest guy you'll meet, but he is completely normal. (Woah, never thought I'd say mu quirky BIL is "normal" LMAO!!) I wonder if there is 'something' growth realted the hubby could be a carrier of and is effecting my baby?

 

[JennyNo1]

Spicy - I'm just now seeing your post from the other night. I am so glad you shared this with us - it's the kind of thing you shouldn't try to carry alone. You are so much loved around here! This is my theory - sometimes sadness, tragedy, heartache, and hurt dig a deep, deep pit in a person's soul. BUT.....that means there's a deep, deep well ready to hold an extra huge amount of love, joy, and happiness. Put another way, feeling the pain in life is what gives us the capacity to feel the joy as well. You, my friend, have shown us all that extra capacity for kindness and love that you have.
Go easy on yourself. There is nothing wrong with feeling as you do. I work daily to control my super-duper Type A personality which trigggered panic attacks and a diagnosis of a combination panic/anxiety syndrome many years ago. My story is nothing compared with yours, but know that you are definitely not alone in the problems you face.
We all love you, lady!

 

[Spicy Southern Belle]

Thank you.

I am concerned though, she hasn't been gaining too well. I'd have to dig out her paperwork to find exact amounts. From my memory here are her stats:
Birth: 7 lbs 2 oz - 50%
2 month: ? lbs ? oz - 25%
5 month: 12 lbs 2(?) oz - 5%
7 month: 12 lbs 14 oz - Negative 3%
I got behind on her well visit check ups and can't get back on track yet because we didn't want her to get her shots too soon. We needed to wait at least 6 weeks inbetween shots. They are plotting her weight with her correct age though.

Another thing that is concerning to me is her uncle, hubby's brother, had some unexplained growth issues as a baby. He was born at a good weight of 8 lbs-ish, was growing fine until six months old. He just about stopped growing, he was only 12 lbs at one year. They did all sorts of tests, even for dwarfism (not sure what it would technically be called?) They never found anything wrong. By the time he was 2.5-3 he was growing fine again. He stayed on the small side though school. Now at 30 he is not the tallest guy you'll meet, but he is completely normal. (Woah, never thought I'd say mu quirky BIL is "normal" LMAO!!) I wonder if there is 'something' growth realted the hubby could be a carrier of and is effecting my baby?

Sweet One, don't obsess about it! Add the protein to the diet as suggested and see how it goes. *hugs* It will be alright no matter what it is. Worrying yourself sick won't help anything. Yes, I realize that me saying this is funny but this is definitely something I have learned as a parent. She sounds like she is doing great aside from the weight so just see if the protein helps.

Spicy - I'm just now seeing your post from the other night. I am so glad you shared this with us - it's the kind of thing you shouldn't try to carry alone. You are so much loved around here! This is my theory - sometimes sadness, tragedy, heartache, and hurt dig a deep, deep pit in a person's soul. BUT.....that means there's a deep, deep well ready to hold an extra huge amount of love, joy, and happiness. Put another way, feeling the pain in life is what gives us the capacity to feel the joy as well. You, my friend, have shown us all that extra capacity for kindness and love that you have.
Go easy on yourself. There is nothing wrong with feeling as you do. I work daily to control my super-duper Type A personality which trigggered panic attacks and a diagnosis of a combination panic/anxiety syndrome many years ago. My story is nothing compared with yours, but know that you are definitely not alone in the problems you face.
We all love you, lady!

*HUGS* I would never say what you are dealing with is less. It does make me miss my best friend from here though. She was the same way and I adored her.

Thank you so much for your words. I am really overwhelmed by your support and all of the love everyone is showing. I love the idea of the pit being filled with love. I'm all about that

 

[Im_no_angel]

I was planning on posting what is really stressing me out lately, but when I read back a page or two, I realized that what I'm dealing with is not truly trivial, but it does pale in comparison to what Spicy and others are facing right now.

I offer my love, support, and hugs to you, Spicy and to all of you dealing with the pain that lies deep inside.

*HUGS*

 

[Azuldrgon]

I was planning on posting what is really stressing me out lately, but when I read back a page or two, I realized that what I'm dealing with is not truly trivial, but it does pale in comparison to what Spicy and others are facing right now.

I offer my love, support, and hugs to you, Spicy and to all of you dealing with the pain that lies deep inside.

*HUGS*

*hugs* It may be trivial but if you need support just ask.

 

[thesweetsweetness]

I was planning on posting what is really stressing me out lately, but when I read back a page or two, I realized that what I'm dealing with is not truly trivial, but it does pale in comparison to what Spicy and others are facing right now.

I offer my love, support, and hugs to you, Spicy and to all of you dealing with the pain that lies deep inside.

*HUGS*

Please don't compare. If you need to vent, share, talk something through, please do. I felt like you, that my issues were less significant than others, but my issues were effecting me, and talking about it helped. That's what this thread is for. (((hugs)))

 

[Spicy Southern Belle]

I was planning on posting what is really stressing me out lately, but when I read back a page or two, I realized that what I'm dealing with is not truly trivial, but it does pale in comparison to what Spicy and others are facing right now.

I offer my love, support, and hugs to you, Spicy and to all of you dealing with the pain that lies deep inside.

*HUGS*

Thank you sweetheart but don't feel like what you are dealing with is less important than what anyone else is going through. We are still here to listen and help. Please let us.

*HUGS*

 

[Im_no_angel]

*hugs* It may be trivial but if you need support just ask.

Please don't compare. If you need to vent, share, talk something through, please do. I felt like you, that my issues were less significant than others, but my issues were effecting me, and talking about it helped. That's what this thread is for. (((hugs)))

Thank you sweetheart but don't feel like what you are dealing with is less important than what anyone else is going through. We are still here to listen and help. Please let us.

*HUGS*

Thank you all! *HUGS* It's one of my faults that I tend to minimize my own problems and try to help others. I was raised to be independent and it makes it hard for me to ask for help sometimes. Which is not necessarily a smart thing to do.

A year ago, my hubby lost his job due to medical reasons related to a stroke he had three years ago and is unable to work. Through various types of bureaucratic bullshit he was only able to collect a small portion of his pension and isn't eligible for government assistance. His salary was slightly more than mine and was used to pay the mortgage and a few other things. Now that we didn't have that anymore we lost our house through foreclosure and racked up quite a few debts. At the beginning of the month we moved out into a two bedroom apartment. As a result I didn't have any room for my boys (17 & 19) so they had to move out to stay with family. My two daughters are still with me. The financial mess got to the point where our phone and cable access were terminated. This has put me in the situation where I'm now taking a second job just to keep food in the house and the rent paid. I have no idea when I'll get the phone and cable restored. In addition, this is the start of birthday and holiday season in my family. For the next three months my oldest three kids has a birthday and Christmas is soon after. I'm going out of my mind trying to figure out how to cover all of this, and take care of my family while I work at night. I've already had one mental breakdown which put me in the hospital overnight. The only thing keeping me here is my children and hubby. If it werent for them, I wouldn't be here. I'm nearly at my wit's end but I have to stay strong for my family.

 

[Azuldrgon]

Thank you all! *HUGS* It's one of my faults that I tend to minimize my own problems and try to help others. I was raised to be independent and it makes it hard for me to ask for help sometimes. Which is not necessarily a smart thing to do.

A year ago, my hubby lost his job due to medical reasons related to a stroke he had three years ago and is unable to work. Through various types of bureaucratic bullshit he was only able to collect a small portion of his pension and isn't eligible for government assistance. His salary was slightly more than mine and was used to pay the mortgage and a few other things. Now that we didn't have that anymore we lost our house through foreclosure and racked up quite a few debts. At the beginning of the month we moved out into a two bedroom apartment. As a result I didn't have any room for my boys (17 & 19) so they had to move out to stay with family. My two daughters are still with me. The financial mess got to the point where our phone and cable access were terminated. This has put me in the situation where I'm now taking a second job just to keep food in the house and the rent paid. I have no idea when I'll get the phone and cable restored. In addition, this is the start of birthday and holiday season in my family. For the next three months my oldest three kids has a birthday and Christmas is soon after. I'm going out of my mind trying to figure out how to cover all of this, and take care of my family while I work at night. I've already had one mental breakdown which put me in the hospital overnight. The only thing keeping me here is my children and hubby. If it werent for them, I wouldn't be here. I'm nearly at my wit's end but I have to stay strong for my family.

*hugs*

You do what you do to survive. You are doing the right thing except the worrying. Already started praying for you.

 

[Im_no_angel]

*hugs*

You do what you do to survive. You are doing the right thing except the worrying. Already started praying for you.

Thank you, Azul. I treasure your prayers.

 

[Spicy Southern Belle]

Thank you all! *HUGS* It's one of my faults that I tend to minimize my own problems and try to help others. I was raised to be independent and it makes it hard for me to ask for help sometimes. Which is not necessarily a smart thing to do.

A year ago, my hubby lost his job due to medical reasons related to a stroke he had three years ago and is unable to work. Through various types of bureaucratic bullshit he was only able to collect a small portion of his pension and isn't eligible for government assistance. His salary was slightly more than mine and was used to pay the mortgage and a few other things. Now that we didn't have that anymore we lost our house through foreclosure and racked up quite a few debts. At the beginning of the month we moved out into a two bedroom apartment. As a result I didn't have any room for my boys (17 & 19) so they had to move out to stay with family. My two daughters are still with me. The financial mess got to the point where our phone and cable access were terminated. This has put me in the situation where I'm now taking a second job just to keep food in the house and the rent paid. I have no idea when I'll get the phone and cable restored. In addition, this is the start of birthday and holiday season in my family. For the next three months my oldest three kids has a birthday and Christmas is soon after. I'm going out of my mind trying to figure out how to cover all of this, and take care of my family while I work at night. I've already had one mental breakdown which put me in the hospital overnight. The only thing keeping me here is my children and hubby. If it werent for them, I wouldn't be here. I'm nearly at my wit's end but I have to stay strong for my family.

*HUGS* Okay so there aren't enough hugs in the world for what I want to give you right now and I wish I could do so much more than just give hugs.

The only advice I have is to be honest with your children. Sit them down and explain the situation. Make a plan that instead of buying each other gifts you will all make each other gifts. There are ways to make the holidays special without having to spend a lot of money. If my mom would have just done that growing up, it would have been so much better than her just making us all miserable with her bah humbug spirit over what she couldn't do.

Okay so I have one other piece of advice. Let people who want to help you, help. At least the ones who you know are doing it out of the goodness of their heart. I know how hard it is, trust me. That first paragraph you wrote...that is me. I also know that the giver in me is filled with joy when I can help. I never expect anything in return and I just want to make someone's day a little better. I know I'm not the only one out there like that. Especially as we head into this time of year.

I will be praying for you and you lean on us as much as you need to. That's what we're here for. *HUGS*

 

[Im_no_angel]

*HUGS* Okay so there aren't enough hugs in the world for what I want to give you right now and I wish I could do so much more than just give hugs.

The only advice I have is to be honest with your children. Sit them down and explain the situation. Make a plan that instead of buying each other gifts you will all make each other gifts. There are ways to make the holidays special without having to spend a lot of money. If my mom would have just done that growing up, it would have been so much better than her just making us all miserable with her bah humbug spirit over what she couldn't do.

Okay so I have one other piece of advice. Let people who want to help you, help. At least the ones who you know are doing it out of the goodness of their heart. I know how hard it is, trust me. That first paragraph you wrote...that is me. I also know that the giver in me is filled with joy when I can help. I never expect anything in return and I just want to make someone's day a little better. I know I'm not the only one out there like that. Especially as we head into this time of year.

I will be praying for you and you lean on us as much as you need to. That's what we're here for. *HUGS*

Thank you so very much, Spicy and Azul! You two are wonderful! *HUGSHUGSHUGS*

Those are great ideas, thanks. Logically I can see that I should be asking for help from those that can give it, but my stubbornness (and to a certain extent, my pride) stops me. Which is definitely not smart. I will be back to keep in touch when I can.

 

[PeteHulbert37]

I had not paid much attention to this thread and I wish I had.

Serene1, I cried when I read what you shared. I am so sorry. Hugs dear sweet lady.

Avrgblkgrl, you are beautiful, strong and sexy, but I had no idea. Lots of hugs going out to You.

Littlelovedove, sorry to hear about the dog. *hug*

Spicy, I had no clue. Thank you for sharing. You are loved by many here and that includes me. *hugs*

Azuldrgn, men can handshake hug right. I'm sure you miss your father a lot.

You are all my friends and I do care about you. This thread is really great and Spicy you are to. Thank you.

 

[Spicy Southern Belle]

Thank you so very much, Spicy and Azul! You two are wonderful! *HUGSHUGSHUGS*

Those are great ideas, thanks. Logically I can see that I should be asking for help from those that can give it, but my stubbornness (and to a certain extent, my pride) stops me. Which is definitely not smart. I will be back to keep in touch when I can.

I can understand the pride thing. I really can. *hugs* We will be here when you need us.

I had not paid much attention to this thread and I wish I had.

Serene1, I cried when I read what you shared. I am so sorry. Hugs dear sweet lady.

Avrgblkgrl, you are beautiful, strong and sexy, but I had no idea. Lots of hugs going out to You.

Littlelovedove, sorry to hear about the dog. *hug*

Spicy, I had no clue. Thank you for sharing. You are loved by many here and that includes me. *hugs*

Azuldrgn, men can handshake hug right. I'm sure you miss your father a lot.

You are all my friends and I do care about you. This thread is really great and Spicy you are to. Thank you.

Thank you sweetheart. *HUGS*

 

[Azuldrgon]

Sunday morning hugs

*hugs*

 

[Azuldrgon]

I had not paid much attention to this thread and I wish I had.

Serene1, I cried when I read what you shared. I am so sorry. Hugs dear sweet lady.

Avrgblkgrl, you are beautiful, strong and sexy, but I had no idea. Lots of hugs going out to You.

Littlelovedove, sorry to hear about the dog. *hug*

Spicy, I had no clue. Thank you for sharing. You are loved by many here and that includes me. *hugs*

Azuldrgn, men can handshake hug right. I'm sure you miss your father a lot.

You are all my friends and I do care about you. This thread is really great and Spicy you are to. Thank you.

Thank you Ricky.

 

[Spicy Southern Belle]

Sunday morning hugs

*hugs*

*hugs*

I can use all of those I can get today.

 

[Azuldrgon]

*hugs*

I can use all of those I can get today.

*supersquishyhugs*

all you have to do is get close enough. You know you're my favorite huggy target.

 

[Spicy Southern Belle]

*supersquishyhugs*

all you have to do is get close enough. You know you're my favorite huggy target.

lol yes, I know.

 

[thesweetsweetness]

Thank you all! *HUGS* It's one of my faults that I tend to minimize my own problems and try to help others. I was raised to be independent and it makes it hard for me to ask for help sometimes. Which is not necessarily a smart thing to do.

A year ago, my hubby lost his job due to medical reasons related to a stroke he had three years ago and is unable to work. Through various types of bureaucratic bullshit he was only able to collect a small portion of his pension and isn't eligible for government assistance. His salary was slightly more than mine and was used to pay the mortgage and a few other things. Now that we didn't have that anymore we lost our house through foreclosure and racked up quite a few debts. At the beginning of the month we moved out into a two bedroom apartment. As a result I didn't have any room for my boys (17 & 19) so they had to move out to stay with family. My two daughters are still with me. The financial mess got to the point where our phone and cable access were terminated. This has put me in the situation where I'm now taking a second job just to keep food in the house and the rent paid. I have no idea when I'll get the phone and cable restored. In addition, this is the start of birthday and holiday season in my family. For the next three months my oldest three kids has a birthday and Christmas is soon after. I'm going out of my mind trying to figure out how to cover all of this, and take care of my family while I work at night. I've already had one mental breakdown which put me in the hospital overnight. The only thing keeping me here is my children and hubby. If it werent for them, I wouldn't be here. I'm nearly at my wit's end but I have to stay strong for my family.

Thank you for sharing. I am so sorry to hear this. I really like the advice Spicy shared. I wanted to add one other thought about the upcoming birthdays and holidays. Experiences are often better gifts than material things. What about doing some family activities? A lot of things are free or cheap. A family game night, picnic in the park, heck even playing some catch together. Sure, sounds kinda cheesy, but I bet it could turn out to be a treasured family memory. Just a thought. (((hugs)))

 

[papadoc19]

lol yes, I know.

Care Bear Huggles...

 

[Spicy Southern Belle]

Care Bear Huggles...

You give the best Care Bear Huggles

 

[Im_no_angel]

*hugs*

I can use all of those I can get today.

You have all the *hugs * I can give and more!

Thank you for sharing. I am so sorry to hear this. I really like the advice Spicy shared. I wanted to add one other thought about the upcoming birthdays and holidays. Experiences are often better gifts than material things. What about doing some family activities? A lot of things are free or cheap. A family game night, picnic in the park, heck even playing some catch together. Sure, sounds kinda cheesy, but I bet it could turn out to be a treasured family memory. Just a thought. (((hugs)))

You and Spicy are absolutely right and it's not cheesy. We have done a few family movie nights and some times in the park which have been a lot of fun. Far too often we (and me) can get too wrapped up in the material things in life and forget about what's truly important.