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The Ravishing of Constance -- incest, NC, historical/fantasy ... too many categories!

Sabledrake

Sabledrake

Literotica Guru
Joined
Jan 25, 2002
Posts
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Hey, folks!

Very pleased to announce the posting of Chapter One of The Ravishing of Constance. This is a story I originally wrote a few years back but recently revised, spiffed up, and continued.

As the other chapters develop, it will span many categories (NC, incest, historical fantasy, etc.) and bounce back and forth between them, so for convenience to keep it all together, it'll be under Novels and Novellas.

Constance deGranville is a ripe young maid whose father, the governor of Veradoga Island, has kept her home and sheltered all her life to avoid her suffering the same fate as her mother -- seized by pirates. But Constance finds that she has more to fear from her own brother Robert, and his best friend Enrique, without even setting foot off the island.

The first chapter is now here:
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=60022

and as always, comments are most welcome!

Look for Chapter Two in a week or so.

Happy reading!

Sabledrake
 
ravishingly good

Hello Sabledrake,

You know as a general rule I don't enjoy rape and/or incest stories, but this one is good.

She closed her eyes and let her mind's fancy create the rhythmic swell of the waves, the creak and flap of the timbers and sails.

This, like much of your story is rather 'flowery'. Again, I usually don't like it, but here it seems to work well. It adds to the whole feel of the period which your story is set in. Mid to late 19th century perhaps? Although I have to say It lurched at her touch, eager, like a horse kept too long in a stable and ready for a gallop on a spring morning. when referring to his cock, was just too much for my tastes.

Enrique and Robert, came across well as lecherous and sadistically evil men, particularly in their dialog, and were a dramically stark contrast to Constance's innocences and sweetness.

She's a young and sexually innocent woman trapped by her own beauty. They are two men ruled by their cocks, encouraged by each other's wickedness. That combined with the undertone of sexual hunger you gave her, makes an intriguing recipe doesn't it? Does she really object to the sex? Does she really mean yes please when she says please no? Isn't that just an age old argument?

For me, I would have enjoyed it more it she had been feistier, but that's just me. I like and admire spirited women. I would have loved to have read about her scratching one of them across the face, or better still biting one of them, and I'm not talking about a hand or neck here either! Ok... ok... maybe that would be a little too strong. I'm sure readers will enjoy Constance just as she is.

I am looking forward to reading more, and wish you well with your future writing.

Have a great day now, :)

Alex (fem)
 
Last edited:
Thank you for the replies! I'll be submitting the next chapter later this week.

Alex > yeah, the language is overblown on purpose to fit that sort of bodice-ripper ambiance. Poor Constance, raised to be such a lady, it never would have occurred to her to physically fight back (and she kept not believing they'd go through with it). But fear not, there's the feisty Marie, and Jacqueline, coming up in future chapters! ;)

Anais > I'd seen your story mentioned on another thread and it is absolutley on my must-read list! Looking forward to it.

Sabledrake
 
I'd have to agree with the above comments re. ch. 1:

The language well chosen for the period and setting, and even though I don't enjoy it, I am sure the majority of the female readership would.

The story is well written.

Some suggestions on dialogue - in rare cases the vernacular in the dialogue doesn't flow with the rest of the story.

Examples:

"No, no, my friend, it isn't. What sort of a brother do you think I am? It is only incest if I actually were to fuck her. Or if one of us were to spend. You can, and godspeed, but not I. I assure you, I have no intention of turning this into incest." So saying, he settled his palm onto her mound, and bent down to kiss her thigh.

Maybe change a bit: remove any contractions as I don't see educated plantation-owning (?) white men would use those in that period. "If I were to take her and spend myself, that would be incest. You, my friend, are not restricted by such obligations. You may ravish her and spread your seed .... etc." If either character is going to use hard-core vocabulary, it needs to be "worked" in. It jumps out to much when it appears like this:

"Simply said, little sister, Enrique is going to put his cock in your mouth."

instead maybe,

"As your dear maid had once put it, Enrique will let you fill yourself on his manhood, and you will oblige him by eating your fill."



Repeating nouns is something else that could be spared here or there:

"impossibly huge, chokingly huge"
"slim fingers, artist's fingers"
"anything but short-lived, anything but furtive"
etc.

Other than those minor points, everything else works, IMHO.

Hope that helps. (..and if you don't agree, go with your gut because after all it is your story :)
 
"Simply said, little sister, Enrique is going to put his cock in your mouth."

instead maybe,

"As your dear maid had once put it, Enrique will let you fill yourself on his manhood, and you will oblige him by eating your fill."
Click to expand...

I truly must agree with this. It is wonderfully described and seems to flow much better within you story.

Literature-wise, it is an awesome and moving tale. I'm normally not one to read the whole rape/incest tales, but this one was so decriptive and well worded. Before you know it, the story had you trapped and there was nothing you could do but read more. I hope you keep writing more. I look forward to hearing it.

~ Rora :rose:
 
Thanks for the comments, folks. I'll be posting a new chapter every week or so. Probably going to end up being 10+ chapters in all.

Sabledrake
 
A novel in the making...

I'll have to wait for the cliff notes version... I couldn't last 10+ chapters in one sitting. :D
 
I'm reminded of...

SNL's "'My Big Thick Novel' by Jack Handy"...

Actually, speaking of thick novels, I just finished the Count of Monte Cristo... and rarely do I get to say this but the movie is better. Having read the thing once in childhood when it made an impression on me, I wish I didn't pick it up again to dispell the fondness I had for it because of vague recollection of the contents. I will allow for something to be lost through the translation.

In any case, if you need to refer to a text for descriptions and vernacular in vogue during the period you are writing of, that would be the book.
 
Always did mean to read that one! Better/worse than The Three Musketeers?

But in the meantime, I'll make it up as I go. I'm doing this more for fun than historical accuracy ;)

Sabledrake
 
Ah...

Funny you should ask.. I picked The Three Musketeers up today, among others, but promptly put it back: after the contrast between my fond memories of reading Count of Monte Cristo in childhood and reading it now, I am afraid to read 3 Musketeers only to find out that one of my favorite novels from childhood is verbose, full of inconsequential tangents, and brimming with chauvinistic romantic ideas on love. So I put the book down and decided to retain the ideal of it as I remember. Amazing how childhood renders such books so exciting and moving so that when you grow up and read them again you are twice upset, first disliking the book, and second being decieved by your memory on how good the book really is.

I still think the Three Musketeers is better that Count de Monte Cristo, but having said I'm not about to reread the prior, I cannot vouch for this. =D
 
Just came across your (so far) 7 chapter story today. I was a bit skeptical in starting it, figuring I'd probably lose interest before finishing all the chapters. But, I didnt!!!...... Awesome story line, and you're a very good writer also.
I'll look forward to each of the new chapters.
-Zaudika
 
re the ravishing of constance

hi i dont as a rule read this type of story but after reading your feedback had to give it ago and i can only say it is wonderful i went from chapter to chapter and was only sorry i run out of chapters to read so hope more are soon forthcoming ;)
 
As with all the other chapters... wonderful.. wonderful.. wonderful....... i'll be looking forward to the next..
 
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