The Random How To thread

[MissTaken]

Many of us answer "How To" questions as posed.

Well, since the posters here are a wealth of information, how about a Random How To thread. We simply throw in our random piece of advise.

Try it. It could be fun.


For example:

How To clean a stove without chemicals: Place a dish of vinegar in the stove and heat at 250. The gunk comes right off!

How To Piss Off Your Neighbors: Let the cat out when they are walking their bazillion dollar poodles.

 

[LadyG]

How to remove ink: Spray hairspray on ink marks before laundering and it will take out the mark!


How to piss off the entire neighbourhood: Let both your dogs out whilst yelling "Pigeons" and watch the barking chain begin

 

[MissTaken]

Hi Lady G.

How to improvise when you are out of lube: Crisco, Olive Oil, but never, ever use Mentholated Rub!

OUCH!

 

[Kissophile]

Hi Lady G.

How to improvise when you are out of lube: Crisco, Olive Oil, but never, ever use Mentholated Rub!

OUCH!

If you want to have some entertaining fun, find the How To thread that had "household lubes and toys" in the title. It was quite popular for a few months earlier this year and had dozens of posts discussing alternative lubes. I'd have posted a link for you but the search function is down right now.

 

[bobsgirl]

How to make your grown son blush and stammer:

Tease him, if possible in front of his friends, about his I-have-a-really-big-dick car stereo system.

How to drive your daughter crazy:

Get online and tie up the land line. Then call her on your cell and leave a message for her to call you back. Make sure you tell her it's important. Turn off your cell phone. Guaranteed to work.

 

[dollface007]

How To clean a stove without chemicals: Place a dish of vinegar in the stove and heat at 250. The gunk comes right off!

Ooh! Post some more vinegar tips! For some weird reason, I'm obsessed with household uses for vinegar

And no, that was not an invitation for any "douching" advice!!

I use vinegar and water to clean my mirrors, shine my bath fixtures, and remove mineral build-up from my tea pot (we have very hard water in this town).

 

[AttentionWhore]

Use vinegar to remove hairspray build up "gunk" from your hair.

 

[MissTaken]

Re: Re: The Random How To thread

Ooh! Post some more vinegar tips! For some weird reason, I'm obsessed with household uses for vinegar

And no, that was not an invitation for any "douching" advice!!

I use vinegar and water to clean my mirrors, shine my bath fixtures, and remove mineral build-up from my tea pot (we have very hard water in this town).

Vinegar is great on salads!



Thanks, Kissophile. When Manu gets the bubble gum out of the system, we should definitely pull up that thread!

 

[MissTaken]

How to make your grown son blush and stammer:

Tease him, if possible in front of his friends, about his I-have-a-really-big-dick car stereo system.

How to drive your daughter crazy:

Get online and tie up the land line. Then call her on your cell and leave a message for her to call you back. Make sure you tell her it's important. Turn off your cell phone. Guaranteed to work.

Ohhhh, that is nasty!



How to Cope with Nosey Teenagers: Leave a note in your toybag, under the vibrators, but above the really nasty stuff. Imagine their shock to find a personalized note suggesting they have gone far enough!

 

[Cathleen]

Vinegar is an excellent odor absorber - just put a small bowl in the room and refresh as it evaporates. I just hide the bowls behind things. (I used to use small glasses but my sister mistook it for water - not a happy sister that night.)

 

[bobsgirl]

Ohhhh, that is nasty!

These are tricks I have perfected because tormenting one's offspring is a skill every parent should cultivate.

And they're pretty good at getting me back worse...

 

[Cathleen]

This is the link that Kisso mentioned......

Unusual Lubes and Household Toys Thread!

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=242085

 

[watergirl]

Never start a land war in Asia.

Also, count your blessings.

 

[Cathleen]

Never, ever get into an argument with the person holding your luggage at the airport ~ it is sure to go in the opposite direction of you.

 

[Bobmi357]

Ask the girl to remove her own bra. There's nothing more embarassing than fumbling around for 15 minutes with a clasp that doesn't like you.

 

[Vixandra]

To clean a laundry washer- run a cycle of water and 1-2 cups of viniger, a cycle of 1-2 cups bleach and then another one of hot water to wash out the bleachy smell (if you're like me and picky).

See- viniger- versitile stuff.

 

[SweetErika]

I love vinegar too...I run it through my coffee pot tor remove any residue or mineral buildup...just make sure you run a couple of pots of water through after...there's nothing worse than taking a sip of vinegar laced coffee in the morning.

It also works for cleaning floors (especially hardwood, but laminate is ok too), cleaning microwaves, wiping down counters, and deoderizing garbage disposals.

That leads to my other favorite multitasking product...baking soda! Sprinkle some in your hand with your shampoo to remove excess oil and styling products (less stinky than vinegar), add a little to toothpaste, jewelry cleaning, exfoliant, on counters like soft-scrub... I'm starting to sound like a nut-case...

 

[starrman]

How to take over a small country:

1) Sweep through the countryside with your hord of conquerors on horseback. Burn any villiage to cross, rape any woman you meet, and spend the first day of siege on the capital launching the heads of your victims into it.

2) Infiltrate the political system of your target on a campaign of fear and hatred. Blame any and all problems of this country on a single ethnic/religious group. Systematically slaughter/enslave these people creating a rise in industry and pacifying the people. Invading Poland is a must.

3) Rise through the ranks of the armed forces until you have their complete loyalty. Declare the latest democratic election a fraud and execute all political leaders. Take control of the government and systematically slaughter all who oppose you.

4) Emerge from a major world war with more military might than you expected. Faced with an ideological enemy contact the Cosa Nostra and plot the assasination of the leader. Land your crack squad of resistance fighters on the beaches and then fail to provide air support. Beware! Be sure all your revolutionaries are dead, some may come back and shoot you in the back.

5) Stage numerous hunger strikes and peaceful demonstrations in protest of your socialist regeme. When this fails horribly just remember that in most communist countries civil disobedience is still disobedience. Try a rock next time, or even some liquor bottles filled with petrol.

 

[Lynxie]

I never knew vinegar was so versatile! I knew it could be used to make cleaning solutions and salad dressings, but I'll definitely have to try it out as an odor absorber! Thanks for the info, everyone

With the upcoming holiday season here in the US, I thought I'd post a Thanksgiving-appropriate how-to.

How to Select a Turkey

1. Figure on 1.3 lbs. of uncooked bird per person. For more leftovers, allow for 2 lbs. or more uncooked turkey per person.

2. Order a fresh turkey online, from your meat market, from a grocery store or a nearby farm so it arrives no more than two days before you plan to cook it.

3. Allow two to three days for a frozen turkey to thaw in the refrigerator if you've bought a frozen one. It takes 24 hours to defrost each 5 lbs. of turkey in the refrigerator.

4. If ordering your bird from a turkey farm, pick a male (a tom) if you want a high proportion of white breast meat.

Tips:

If you're feeding a crowd, remember that two small turkeys will cook faster than one big one.

Most so-called fresh turkeys have actually been stored for several weeks at subfreezing temperatures before you buy them, but they still taste better than frozen turkeys, which have been in the deep-freeze much, much longer.

Because of the backlash against mass production of poultry, you can also choose from free-range, organic and natural poultry. All of these birds are more expensive than frozen birds.

Free-range means the bird had ready access to the outdoors. It does not necessarily mean it is organic.

Almost all organic birds are, by choice of producers, free-range. Organic birds are raised without antibiotics, on feed that was grown in fields that have not been treated with chemical fertilizers or pesticides for at least three years.

Natural birds are not clearly defined. If you're worried about the broad definition of "natural," stick with an organic bird.

Warnings:

Never thaw a frozen turkey at room temperature; you'll have an invading army of bacteria.

 

[LadyG]

If you have grease stains on your clothes and no stain remover, dish soap on the stain will cut the grease and remove it.

 

[crazybbwgirl]

How to take over a small country:
1) Sweep through the countryside with your hord of conquerors on horseback. Burn any villiage to cross, rape any woman you meet, and spend the first day of siege on the capital launching the heads of your victims into it.
2) Infiltrate the political system of your target on a campaign of fear and hatred. Blame any and all problems of this country on a single ethnic/religious group. Systematically slaughter/enslave these people creating a rise in industry and pacifying the people. Invading Poland is a must.
3) Rise through the ranks of the armed forces until you have their complete loyalty. Declare the latest democratic election a fraud and execute all political leaders. Take control of the government and systematically slaughter all who oppose you.
4) Emerge from a major world war with more military might than you expected. Faced with an ideological enemy contact the Cosa Nostra and plot the assasination of the leader. Land your crack squad of resistance fighters on the beaches and then fail to provide air support. Beware! Be sure all your revolutionaries are dead, some may come back and shoot you in the back.
5) Stage numerous hunger strikes and peaceful demonstrations in protest of your socialist regeme. When this fails horribly just remember that in most communist countries civil disobedience is still disobedience. Try a rock next time, or even some liquor bottles filled with petrol.

Just remember: Pillage first THEN burn!

 

[BlueSugar]

clean jewerly


aluminum foil
alot of salt
water
small frying pan
dirty jewerly
fork


make a little boat out of the aluminum foil, large enough to put the jewerly in but small enough to have it able to submerge.

fill the frying pan with water, and super-saturate it with salt... turn on the heat and bring to a small boil.
(some water will evaporate, and it should leave a little white residue from the salt..)

Place dirty jewerly in the little boat and let it float around for a minute or so, then submerge it in the salty water.

The dirt will drop to the foil and you will have clean jewerly. Use the fork to take the jewerly out bc IT WILL BE HOT! Towel dry, and rinse in running water to get the salt off.
Do not use it on pretarnished jewerly bc all of that will come off too.

Safe for all metals

(P.S the household lubes thread is in the Manual )

 

[Little Bird]

If you have grease stains on your clothes and no stain remover, dish soap on the stain will cut the grease and remove it.

This stuff will remove about everything out of textiles.

 

[MissTaken]

Dawn dish soap also takes crayon off walls!



Darn kids.

 

[bobsgirl]

I have a How-To question.

How do I get blood stains out of sheets? Ladies, I KNOW you know what I'm talking about.