The Punctuating Panda

[Rumple Foreskin]

Don't let me bother you. I'm just slipping in a writing related thread.

--

"Eats, Shoots and Leaves" is a humorous but serious plea by Lynne Turss for sticklers of punctuation to stand their ground. The following note appears on the back cover:

A panda walks into a cafe. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and fires two shots in the air.

"Why?" asks the confused waiter, as the panda makes toward the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder.

"I'm a panda," he says, at the door. "Look it up."

The waiter turns to the relevant entry and, sure enough, finds an explanation.

"PANDA. Large black-and-white bear like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves."

So, punctuation really does matter, even if it is only occasionally a matter of life and death.

This is the zero tolerance guide.

--

Just another fine service of No Hope Enterprises

Rumple Foreskin, prop.

 

[Guest]

That's Rumple.

It could also be applied in a sexual context, just for us here at Lit.

"Today in Little Britain a Panda has been accused of being a bastard. Apparently, he never gives any thought to the sexual pleasure of the ladies. Although, his oral skills are, reportedly, pretty good. He merely eats, shoots and leaves."

Lou

 

[Guest]

Sorry, Rumply. Loulou wins. (I know this cos I dated a panda or two, or three.)

Perdita

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Sorry, Rumply. Loulou wins. (I know this cos I dated a panda or two, or three.)

Perdita

Perdita,

I've got to admit it does do a better job of grabbing your, well, attention.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[herecomestherain]

In Oz the description is used for the delightful and sexually promiscuous Hairy Nosed Wombat...eats, roots, shoots and leaves...



http://www.zoo.org.au/animal_page.cfm?area_id=34&zoo_id=2&animal_id=49

 

[BohemianEcstasy]

Thanks to my Norwegian brain, it took me a pathetically long time to figure this little joke out. But it was worth the wait! Humourous little piece.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Thanks to my Norwegian brain, it took me a pathetically long time to figure this little joke out. But it was worth the wait! Humourous little piece.

BE,

Were you referring to Lou or Perdita or, gasp, both?

Rumple Foreskin

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Who would think a little joke could be used as a standard for punctuation, Thanks RF

 

[minsue]

THANK YOU!!!!!!

*ahem* Sorry about that. The omission of the last comma in a list is a huge pet peeve of mine. I actually had an English teacher mark me off on a comp paper for having an 'extra comma' in a list. Made the bitch dig out her grammar book and change my grade.

You've made my night, Rumple!

And I'd rather not examine that sad fact too closely, thank you very much!

- Mindy

 

[snooper]

Of course, most people agree with Ms.Truss that the comma after "eats" should be omitted, but I think she is wrong. I believe, since the context was a wildlife manual, that the comma should have been replaced by a colon. Then it makes perfect sense.
"PANDA. Large black-and-white bear like mammal, native to China. Eats: shoots and leaves."

 

[Alex De Kok]

Anyone who hasn't read Lynne Truss's book is recommended to do so. The only book I have which fits into the 'Humo(u)r' and 'Reference' categories simultaneously!

Alex

My Earth Day story, The Gathering Shadows, still needs a couple of votes to be sure of qualifying. Please?

 

[Guest]

Thanks, Alex (long time no see). I was wondering about that book (suspicious only cos it's a best-seller ).

"Simultaneous humour and reference", can't wait.

Perdita

 

[Alex De Kok]

Thanks, Alex (long time no see). I was wondering about that book (suspicious only cos it's a best-seller ).

"Simultaneous humour and reference", can't wait.

Perdita

You'll enjoy it, mi amiga. A friend borrowed mine, so I can't quote from it, but it is an entertaining read in its own right, apart from being a very good punctuation guide.

You have to like an author who says 'I want to have his babies' when referring to the Italian regarded as having invented the italic typeface. (Aldus Manutius (the elder? younger?))

Alex

My Earth Day story, The Gathering Shadows, still needs a couple of votes to be sure of qualifying. Please?

 

[snooper]

Thanks, Alex (long time no see). I was wondering about that book (suspicious only cos it's a best-seller ).

"Simultaneous humour and reference", can't wait.

Perdita

It's good, but be warned, the punctuation in it is spotty, at best. For example the authoress cannot make up her mind where to put the apostrophe in the phrase "printers' convention" which she uses as a synonym for "punctuation mark"; often she claims only one printer is involved in these conventions.

On a totally related topic, bring back Victor Borge's wonderful invention of sounds to represent the punctuation marks when speaking!