The Pornography of Management

[Joe Wordsworth]

I start my new position as a district advisor for a chain of pharmacies, here in a few weeks. They had a full staff of Human Resource folk in their corporate office, but wanted a shark. The first thing on the agenda is they are leaving it up to me to fire half the employee-base in central Mississippi (roughly thirty to thirty-five people), and those I can't fire (due to discriminatory practices) I have to arrange for them to be "better associates". This is the second job I've ever had where the sole reason I got the thing was due to a long record of ruthlessness and uncompromising objectiivity.

It occured to me that, for some reason, the idea of firing a lot of people turns me on. That isn't to say I'm proud of it, but I have no idea why it does and it's notable. I have--literally--gotten aroused at the prospect. I think it's a control thing.

Anyone else find mundane practices a turn on?

 

[CharleyH]

What a lacky you are then

 

[Joe Wordsworth]

What a lacky you are then

I prefer "hired gun". It's what's on my business card. : )

 

[CharleyH]

I prefer "hired gun". It's what's on my business card. : )

LOL only in America

 

[Joe Wordsworth]

LOL only in America

Oh, I'm almost certain they have business cards in other countries. : )

 

[CharleyH]

Oh, I'm almost certain they have business cards in other countries. : )

hired guns means something different in Amsterdam.

 

[Joe Wordsworth]

hired guns means something different in Amsterdam.

O.k., I'll bite...

What does "hired gun" mean in Amsterdam?

 

[CharleyH]

O.k., I'll bite...

What does "hired gun" mean in Amsterdam?

I don't know, how big are your feet?

 

[Joe Wordsworth]

I don't know, how big are your feet?

Huuuuuuuuuuuuuge.

 

[CharleyH]

Huuuuuuuuuuuuuge.

LOL The best!

Night, Joe.

 

[McKenna]

It occured to me that, for some reason, the idea of firing a lot of people turns me on. That isn't to say I'm proud of it, but I have no idea why it does and it's notable. I have--literally--gotten aroused at the prospect. I think it's a control thing.

Anyone else find mundane practices a turn on?

I only enjoy making men and fuckwits cry at their own ineptitude.


It's a sad job, but someone must do it.

 

[English Lady]

The rush of finding a damn good bargain is pretty orgasmic


Oooh you should do a "please don't fire me Mr ruthless boss man" story, then it's not just you getting turned on by it

 

[Joe Wordsworth]

I only enjoy making men and fuckwits cry at their own ineptitude.


It's a sad job, but someone must do it.

This happen often, does it?

 

[elsol]

Being able to say... "Not my yob!" especially to lazy, fucking developers.

Oh lord, do they give you looks of unmitigated hatred when your prove beyond any doubt that's they flubbed the code. And I know it's going to be a beautiful day when someone with the a title of Director, Vice President, or Chief- is there and you've put it such plain English that even THEY know the developers screwed the pooch and did not offer a reacharound.


Sincerely,
ElSol

 

[McKenna]

This happen often, does it?

Aye. But only on my off days. Luckily they're easy to fool.

 

[MacAk]

I don't fault Wordsworth. He's a prick, and he's figured out a way to make a living at it. Fine. And he's probably being objective. Mississippians are not much interested in working. Once they get comfortable in the job, they ease right off.

The only reason the white ones are worse is because they get comfortable quicker. I think it's because they figure the world owes them a job whether they do anything or not. Maybe that works back home because they're white, I don't know. Northerners will work if you pay 'em decent, but these guys figure they're owed. Hell, the guys hiring Wordsworth are ducking their job. If they went to school in one of those southern schools, they can talk football, but if they are there to do evals and firing they're sure not doing it if they want a freelance prick to take over.

This is the men, now. The women can work, and if you give 'em a chance to use their heads on the job, they do okay. Someone taught them, somewhere, that if they act infantile, things will go smooth for them, and you have to watch for that. But take them seriously as adults, and they pick right up on it.

 

[Colleen Thomas]

I don't fault Wordsworth. He's a prick, and he's figured out a way to make a living at it. Fine. And he's probably being objective. Mississippians are not much interested in working. Once they get comfortable in the job, they ease right off.

The only reason the white ones are worse is because they get comfortable quicker. I think it's because they figure the world owes them a job whether they do anything or not. Maybe that works back home because they're white, I don't know. Northerners will work if you pay 'em decent, but these guys figure they're owed. Hell, the guys hiring Wordsworth are ducking their job. If they went to school in one of those southern schools, they can talk football, but if they are there to do evals and firing they're sure not doing it if they want a freelance prick to take over.

This is the men, now. The women can work, and if you give 'em a chance to use their heads on the job, they do okay. Someone taught them, somewhere, that if they act infantile, things will go smooth for them, and you have to watch for that. But take them seriously as adults, and they pick right up on it.

Being a Mississippian, I cordially invite you to take a long walk on a short pier.

I ran the shipping department in a warehouse that loaded 18 semi tractor trailers of furniture a day, and unlaoded at least that many, in a unairconditioned warehouse, with a staff that never numbered more than 25 guys including a Manager and his assistant who spent more time doing paper work and on the phone than helping. And myself and a recieving coordinator who rarely left our computers.

I've worked up north too. And the people here don't do jack if they can help it. As long as the union is there to protect them, they do just as little as they have to too get by. It's endemic. Lazy raised to an art form. And when I got a job, and was working concientiously, I actually got in trouble with them because I was doing too much. Seting a bad example.

 

[cloudy]

I don't fault Wordsworth. He's a prick, and he's figured out a way to make a living at it. Fine. And he's probably being objective. Mississippians are not much interested in working. Once they get comfortable in the job, they ease right off.

The only reason the white ones are worse is because they get comfortable quicker. I think it's because they figure the world owes them a job whether they do anything or not. Maybe that works back home because they're white, I don't know. Northerners will work if you pay 'em decent, but these guys figure they're owed. Hell, the guys hiring Wordsworth are ducking their job. If they went to school in one of those southern schools, they can talk football, but if they are there to do evals and firing they're sure not doing it if they want a freelance prick to take over.

This is the men, now. The women can work, and if you give 'em a chance to use their heads on the job, they do okay. Someone taught them, somewhere, that if they act infantile, things will go smooth for them, and you have to watch for that. But take them seriously as adults, and they pick right up on it.

I'd dearly love to know where you came up with those ridiculous stereotypes.

I'm southern, and I have yet to act infantile to get things to go "smooth" for me.

You're just as much a prick as you accuse Joe of being.

Joe: There's something just so wrong to me about you getting your kicks from firing people. I've had to do it before - I expect anyone that's been in any type of management position has had to - and I can honestly say that there was only one time, in a career that's lasted 20 years, that I enjoyed firing someone.

Sounds like you're power-tripping to me. You need to get over that, seriously. Some of the people that you'll get such a charge out of firing may be good workers, but the company's cutting down on personnel. Those people may need those jobs to feed their children, and keep a roof over their heads.

I'm sorry. You probably don't give a shit, but my respect for you just took a swan dive.

 

[R. Richard]

I start my new position as a district advisor for a chain of pharmacies, here in a few weeks. They had a full staff of Human Resource folk in their corporate office, but wanted a shark. The first thing on the agenda is they are leaving it up to me to fire half the employee-base in central Mississippi (roughly thirty to thirty-five people), and those I can't fire (due to discriminatory practices) I have to arrange for them to be "better associates". This is the second job I've ever had where the sole reason I got the thing was due to a long record of ruthlessness and uncompromising objectiivity.

It occured to me that, for some reason, the idea of firing a lot of people turns me on. That isn't to say I'm proud of it, but I have no idea why it does and it's notable. I have--literally--gotten aroused at the prospect. I think it's a control thing.

Anyone else find mundane practices a turn on?

I have, in my time, been in management positions. From time to time I have fired people who were not doing their jobs. In most of the cases, the reason that the people were not doing their jobs was that they were incapable of doing their jobs. Said firings allowed the people to go out and find jobs that they could do and may have actually been beneficial to the people in the long run. I did not find the process of firing incompetents a turn-on, but necessary to get rid of dead wood and a prelude to hiring competent workers to get a job done. My outlook was that I was hurting some people a little bit [and temporarily] in order to help others a great deal. I did not take any joy in the process.

I did have to fire a couple of lazy, worthless gold bricks. I did take joy in that last. The lazy, worthless gold bricks were not only useless, they were a cancer that had to be cut out of an operation before they infected the rest of the operation. I was the surgeon and I took pride in a job well done.

If you are really getting a kick out of firing people who may be doing a good job, or at least the best job that management will allow them to do, IMHO you need to take a long look at your life and your philososphy. The people you are firing have families to support.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

The only good thing about shithammers like Joe is that after the the knifework is done, they get shitcanned themselves because management can't stand to have them around.

 

[Colleen Thomas]

At one point in my vareer, I was the presonal hatchetwoman for a regional VP. I understand the feeling of power that comes when you walk into an operation and everyone treats you like you are Darth Vader and they are one misteep away frm becoming the latest in a string of ex-starship commanders.

It's scary power and I can see where it would be addictive to certain personality types.

In this capacity, I actually fired very few people and only ruined a couple of careers. I tended to use the fear people had of what I could do to motivate them and train them in how to do it right. By and large, I was very sucessful at getting bad operations working well and I did so with a minimum of bloodshed. My own philosphy was that 90% of bad operations were due to bad proceedures and not bad people. And more often than not, I found the people I was instructing had recieved little if any training, promoted to their positions when others left in a huff.

I took some pleasure in the two careers I ruined. But in both cases, it was a manager who was incompetant and had for a long time managed to keep his job by passing off his failings onto his staff. God only knows how many good people they hurt playing CYA for their own ineptitude.

More often I fired people who desperatly neded the job and whom I felt terribly sorry for. But you can't have a truck driver who comes to work with alcohol on his breath nor can you have an office manager who can't read. Cuts where an operation was spending too much on labor were even more disheartening, as the person let go often had no shortcomings other than drawing a paycheck the operation couldn't afford. Those are the ones where you go out drinking right afterwards and don't stop till you can live with yourself long enough to fall asleep.

It's a terrible power, one I always prefered in someone else's hands, but most people feel that way and thus there is a niche for the hatchet man or woman. The Vp knew well in advance what would happen when he sent me out. More often than not, he knew who I was going to fire before I ever set foot inside the operation, because he knew who needed to go. He was, at heart, a kind hearted old gentleman and it hurt him less to have me do than doing it himself.

I've met managers who just couldn't bring themselves to fire people, they rarely last. I've me a lot who, like me, could do it when they had to, but took no pleasure in it. And I've met a few like Joe, who reveled in the power.

I don't know if there is a right or wrong. Does it hurt less to be fired by someone who needs 5 LIT's to go to sleep afterwards than it does someone who drinks five to celebrate?

 

[dr_mabeuse]

I was laid off by a hired axe-woman who took a perverse pride in her job in a cover-your-ass scheme where I was the uncovered ass.

Because I have a degree in English, all the foreign-born PhD's would route their reports through me to be proofed and edited, and so by Company policy my name showed up on all of them as co-author. When one of the reports turned out to have falisified data, I was the one who was hung out to dry.

It's was a sleazy and execrable experience, and one that I haven't recovered from to this day, and that was 4 years ago.

 

[Colleen Thomas]

I was laid off by a hired axe-woman who took a perverse pride in her job in a cover-your-ass scheme where I was the uncovered ass.

Because I have a degree in English, all the foreign-born PhD's would route their reports through me to be proofed and edited, and so by Company policy my name showed up on all of them as co-author. When one of the reports turned out to have falisified data, I was the one who was hung out to dry.

It's was a sleazy and execrable experience, and one that I haven't recovered from to this day, and that was 4 years ago.

Some people really get of on it Doc. I'm sorry it hapened to you. I've seen a lot of situations where someone had to go and excuse was created. I have refused to be the one to fire them in that situation. While you would think that would get you in hot water, in someperverse way, it actually seems to earn you respect. I never met anyone who respected the hired hatcheman. And few who liked or respected someone like me, when I was just doing the job I had to do.

*HUGS*

 

[elsol]

Come on people... lay off Joe.

We all know why they really hired him.

What are the odds out twenty Missippians someone will have an arsenal at home (I bet better than someone in New Joisey)... and if the ex-employee decides to be unreasonable it's not going to be a good ole' boy who has to duck.

I would do the same thing if I were management.

Sincerely,
ElSol

 

[English Lady]

I spy a trouble maker here and it ain't Joe MackAK will surely be back, stirring things


Btw, Joe doesn't say he's particularly proud of how the prospect of firing people gets him so hot, I'm sure this thread is part of working things out for him,but then reading his work, he's a dominant type of guy, so being dominant in a work situation might give a similar thrill.


The thing is, everyone has some reason they shouldn't just be fired. every single person, family, grief, being a good person -business is business though and someone has got to do the firing... it might not be a nice job but someones gotta do it.