The Perfect Man/Perfect Woman Workshop

[Lovely Latina]

Congratulations!

You have just been handed one free pass to partake in Lovely Latina's "Perfect Man/Perfect Woman Workshop." It is here, and only here, that you are given the unique opportunity to actually "build" the "perfect man" or "perfect woman" of your dreams. Yes, kiddies...you heard right! Take home your very own perfect man/woman TO-DAY!

To your right you will notice a door marked "Interior Features." In this room you will find every human personality trait, characteristic, disposition and emotion possible.

The door to your left is marked "Exterior Features," and contains every physical attribute and all human body parts in a myriad of shapes and sizes. (Just a hint: The best asses always go first...so you may want to pick your butt first...er...uhhhh...*grins*).

So take a few moments to peruse the two rooms, browse our entire inventory of various body parts, and then mix and match all your favorites to build your own perfect man or woman. I have just completed constructing MY perfect man, soooooooo...allow me to introduce you all to...


"Mr. Lovely Latina"


Interior Features:

--Above all else, he will have a kind and caring heart
--A wicked/dry sense of humor and cunning wit (has to be able to keep up with me in this area or I'll get bored too easily)
--Must have a naughty/bad boy side to him...but it is evenly balanced with his good/sweet side
--Above average intelligence and extremely bright
--Blatantly honest to a fault (Do I look fat in this? Yes.)
--An intense, earthy sensuality and erotic qualities equal to mine
--Must be an amazing kisser
--Has distinct charm and class, but isn't afraid to be downright silly at times
--Constantly shows an abundance of affection
--Calls me "mommy" as I brand his ass cheeks with hot coals the shape of hearts (just kidding! well...sorta *g*)
--Knows the difference between "it's" and "its" and "you're" and "your" (HUGE pet peeve 'o mine)

Exterior Features:

--Stands between 5'9" and 6'0" tall (weight proportional)
--Is anywhere between 2 and 15 years older than I (although maturity is more of a determinate factor than actual age)
--Dark, chiseled facial features
--Deep, penetrating eyes that give away his every thought and emotion (lustful or otherwise)
--A killer smile bordering on a devilish, sexy smirk
--An EXCEPTIONALLY-skilled tongue (oh my!)
--Defined, but not overly-muscular chest and arms (love it when you can see a guy's biceps even when he's not flexing! Mmmmm!)
--An "appendage" of average length, but of ABOVE average "girthy-ness" (I like allota "meat" on my "bone" *hehe*)
--A nice, tight, cuppable ass (at least an *8* on the "cuppability" meter)
--A pulse is usually a nice thing to have
--And great posture to hold it all together in a most confident manner

Is Latina asking for too much? THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT PEOPLES! You can make your man or woman ANYTHING YOU WANT!

So AIM HIGH and describe to the rest of us YOUR perfect man or woman!








[Edited by Lovely Latina on 06-24-2000 at 02:46 AM]

 

[Golden]

my perfect woman

OK, oh adorable and edible LL ... could you please just
1 List your own interior features
2 List your exterior features
3 Cut and paste below



actually one external feature needs adding ... one lip longer than the other ... hehehe!



[Edited by Golden on 06-25-2000 at 05:20 PM]

 

[Firesprite]

mmmmmmmm

Can I have one of those Latina?

I have to add one little thing on the internal though

- He knows my faults and loves me anyway

 

[Gingersnap]

Lovely Latina you are the guru of threads thank you for starting this one....

THE PERFECT GINGERBREAD MAN

He has the most wonderful mouth and lips...

A soft deep voice that makes me want to straddle his lap his hands stroking my nipples.....

He is shy sometimes and knows that I am too <shut up dreamer>

Has these eyes that telegraph his thoughts in nine different languages

Makes mind bending,shoulder biting,legs shaking,pussy throbbing, blistering love to me

Has the heart and soul of an artist and is kind to mine

Makes me moan so loud the neighbors pound the ceiling

He is kind and gentle with people but still all man

He makes my heart lift when he laughs

He will get in a plane with me and not freak out when we fly

He can be quiet with me and not be weirded out

He has a dream

He has passion

His spirit shines out through his smile

Best of all I know him already

 

[Gingersnap]

Lovely Latina you are the guru of threads thank you for starting this one....

THE PERFECT GINGERBREAD MAN

He has the most wonderful mouth and lips...

A soft deep voice that makes me want to straddle his lap his hands stroking my nipples.....

He is shy sometimes and knows that I am too <shut up dreamer>

Has these eyes that telegraph his thoughts in nine different languages

Makes mind bending,shoulder biting,legs shaking,pussy throbbing, blistering love to me

Has the heart and soul of an artist and is kind to mine

Makes me moan so loud the neighbors pound the ceiling

He is kind and gentle with people but still all man

He makes my heart lift when he laughs

He will get in a plane with me and not freak out when we fly

He can be quiet with me and not be weirded out

He has a dream

He has passion

His spirit shines out through his smile

Best of all I know him already

 

[Lasher]

"Let's meet Bachelorette #1....."

Jiminy Crickets, LL, that "Mr. Lovely Latina" seems like one hell of a guy - I just have this feeling he would be just a little bit taller. I dunno, he just sounds like a tall guy...

But anyways... How about we introduce Ms. Lovely Lasherina and see what happens.... So here goes.

Interior Qualities

*She has confidence in her own ability to do whatever she sets her mind to
*She's kind when she needs to be kind, and she's an absolute bitch when she needs to be - and she's always able to tell which is appropriate
*She has an intelligence that goes beyond being well-educated (there's more important things in life than what can be learned in a class room)
*She knows the difference between Offsides and Icing; She says "Ground Rule Double" and not "Book Rule Double"; She's not afraid to shoot from "3 Point Land"; and she'll hit a driver to try and cut the corner when everyone else is telling her she should lay up.
*She has a subtle way of getting me to do whatever she wants
*She makes a fantastic Lasagne
*She understands that above all else sex is supposed to be fun
*She can be your lover and your best friend
*And Most Important of all, she has an amazing sense of humor - witty, biting, sarcastic, silly - whatever is appropriate. And maybe even more important, she knows that sometimes the inappropriate is the funniest thing of all

Exterior Qualities

*She's 5'4 to 5'6 (although we could stretch that to 5'11 for the right person, *wink*)
*She has a toned and athletic body
*She has an ass that, when you see it, the first thing that pops into your head is how much you'd love to bite it
*She has full breasts - probably a C-cup - the kind that fill your hand or a swimsuit and just beg for your attention
*She has smile that lights up a room, the kind that you see and you can't help but smile back
*She has eyes that make her look like an Angel, but when you really look deep inside you see something deliciously naughty hidden there
*She has long dark hair
*She has just enough of a hint of a tan line that you know you're seeing things that most people normally don't get to see...
*She has nails that are just long enough that you can feel them on your back, but not so long that they keep her from doing normal, everyday things...
*And overall she just has this presence about her, and when she enters a room EVERYONE knows it

So how's that for AIMING HIGH, LL?

Hmmm... and why do I get this feeling that if we put "Mr Lovely Latina" and "Ms Lovely Lasherina" in the same room together, the rest of us we'll be shit out of luck???



[Edited by Lasher99 on 06-24-2000 at 11:38 AM]

 

[Lovely Latina]

Wow.

<utterly speechless>

 

[Dreamer1]

Originally posted by Gingersnap

He is shy sometimes and knows that I am too <shut up dreamer>

Your wish is my command mistress!
I just love it when she barks orders like that!

Wow LL, a great topic that will take some definite thought to craft an appropriate response.

 

[Lovely Latina]

Lovely Latina you are the guru of threads

LOL! Ummmm...thanks Ginger...I'll have to keep that one in mind when it comes time for me to make my own title. Great description, btw.

Has these eyes that telegraph his thoughts in nine different languages

Hope one of those nine languages isn't morse code...could make for one HELLUVA big misunderstanding if he ever got anything in his eye!

OK, oh adorable and edible LL

Oh, Golden...you flatten me so!

Wow LL, a great topic that will take some definite thought to craft an appropriate response.

Thanks, Dreamer. I thought it would be interesting to see how everyone describes "perfection," but I wanted to do it in a way that was a little more fun and creative than just plain 'ol coming out and asking, "Please describe your perfect mate." I know this isn't something you can respond to with a quick no-brainer answer, but I think that it's fascinating to get an inside peek into some of the BBer's secret wants and desires. Can't wait to hear yours!

*She has a subtle way of getting me to do whatever she wants

 

[Jeff726]

Sad.....

.....that some person has to be up to a bunch of superficial standards for someone to be right for them.

 

[Felix]

This is certainly an interesting topic, though I would be surprised if our perfect mates were not in fact converging on a common ideal. Who wants a stupid partner with no sense of humor?

As I result, I approached this from a slightly different perspective and instead considered what it was that attracted me to the various women I have known in my life. Although they undoubtedly share many laudatory qualities, these woman have seemingly been more different than similar by any criteria. My conclusion? I don't have a "type," and there is no one "perfect" woman for me.

That observation rings true for me. At several points in the past, I have heard friends talking about setting me up with various acquaintances, only to be told by mutual friends that the women in question were not my type. On one occasion, I jumped into such a conversation and asked my friends to define this "type" of mine that they apparently knew with such certainty. My friends struggled with this for some time, and agreed that was I an especially difficult person to satisfy. In the end, all they could come up with was "very smart and a good sense of humor. And pretty, very pretty" (see first paragraph). Despite that rather generic assessment, they still seemed to have some specific sort of person in mind, but had trouble expressing her defining characteristics. Perhaps they were correct, but I am not certain that the most important qualities can be captured so reductively.

My experience has been that in the end it comes down to chemistry. Sometimes, people simply seem to hit it off in ways beyond a checklist. Certainly some traits are inherently appealing while others are grudgingly endured, but in the end it is the gestalt that either clicks or misses. Have I been attracted to (even involved with) women whom I knew at some level to be wrong for me in the long term? Sure, but that didn't change how I felt at the time. Perhaps other people are more coldly analytical about these things, but for me it is the person who "works," not the properties. In the end, all I can really say is that I look for a visceral, vital spark, both in the person and to the relationship.

That is not to imply that I have reached some advanced state of enlightenment beyond mortal ken. I can certainly affirm that I have found various internal and external features compelling in different women, and I am as likely as the next man to occasionally talk to a woman's chest instead of her eyes. Rather, it is to say that overall I find myself responding to the person, and not the feature. How many times have you met people who met most if not all of your criteria, and yet for whom you felt no attraction? Or one who was not at all your type, but whom you found irresistible?

I actually find it slightly disturbing that so many people have such detailed requirements for their ideal mate. On the one hand, if certain factors are paramount for you, then you would be foolish not to look for them; other qualities are so obvious that they would be of broad appeal to everyone. On the other hand, I have no framework to relate to what amounts to a fetish for a specific hair color, body type, or lifestyle. I don't look down on people who do (and don;t let me rain on your most interesting parade), but I simply don't understand it in any way beyond the abstract. Standing for ten minutes on the streetcorner, I can find a dozen women I consider gorgeous, and they will look nothing alike. I can meet a dozen more at a party, and find them all intriguing despite their being having radically different personalities. That is not to say that I am less demanding -- indeed, I think my friends would agree that I am extremely choosy about relationships -- but there simply is no one right answer for me.

Consider also the people whose "ideal" partners are clearly the wrong type of person for them. We all know people like this -- perhaps some of you fit that description yourselves. For example, I know a woman who is attractive, vivacious, and extremely successful professionally. She has men of all sorts interested in her, and can basically take her choice. What does she do? She turns down all suitors and instead lusts after strung-out celebrities, the skankier and more messed up the better. Of course, most of these damaged sorts want nothing to do with such a "with it" person, and the ones she does get are the expected catastrophes. There may be an element of self-destructiveness to her behavior, but she can articulately explain how she believes most so-called losers are actually more honest and decent than most superficially "nice" guys, that she is turned on by fame, and that there is something about tattoos, taboo, and leather that she finds compelling. It is sad, because I suspect that she will never be satisfied with the men she gets, and never get the ones she thinks will satisfy her. Even if she recognizes that she is looking for the wrong type of man, she can't change the things that attract her. A diabetic can still crave candy.

Rather than end on that depressing note, let me offer a variation for you to try. Instead of listing the properties that you think are ideal in mate, consider different people that you know, and why you do (or do not) find them attractive. In some cases, there will be simple, obvious answers; for others, you will be hard pressed to explain. Regardless, you may learn something from trying the top-down as well as the bottom-up approach. The answers that you get may in some ways be more meaningful as well, in that we are not given the opportunity to custom-order the perfect mate. All we can ever really do is consider the real people whom we meet, and we have to take them will all their lumps.

[Edited by Felix on 06-24-2000 at 01:34 PM]

 

[Lovely Latina]

Dear sweet Jeff...

You're missing the point of this "fun" little exercise, sweetie. We all know that human "perfection" in its truest sense or definition doesn't really exist, at least not in *this*...our earthly existence. One is never going to find every single characteristic that they could ever want in one single person without having to take the "bad," less attractive attributes along with them. We may come close, but everyone has their faults.

I don't think that anyone who posts to this thread is saying that if a man or woman DOESN'T possess these interior and exterior qualities, that they just aren't "acceptable" as partners. Nothing could be further from the truth! My own husband doesn't possess 100% (or even 70% now that I think about it *lol*) of what I listed, but in his own little way, he *is* "perfection"...if only in my eyes. "Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder" (er...something like that), and the same is true of "perfection." It's subjective and relative.

Do you ever fantasize, Jeff? That's what this thread is about. It's for FUN. You could come in here and say, "I want a woman who is blonde, model-gorgeous, with a 40DD chest and drives a yellow porsche while topless," but does that mean that a woman who doesn't fit that description doesn't stand a chance with you? Of course not. (Or I would hope not...lol)

This is just a little fantasy game, Jeff. That's all. I have given you PERMISSION to be "superficial." In truth, I really don't require as high a standard as I listed above (speaking more of the physical attributes, really), but since I was given this one unique opportunity to "go for the gusto,"...that's what I did.

 

[Lovely Latina]

Felix...as always, your post included many valid and thought-provoking insights.

I, too, believe that it is the "chemistry" between two people that will, and SHOULD, supercede any sort of "required" elements. My relationship with my husband would be a prime example to illustrate this point. If he were presented to me right at this moment in the form of a "fact folder" detailing all his "attributes," honestly, I probably wouldn't have even given it a second look. We are about as opposite as can be. But we have a chemistry that has developed over the many years of sharing ourselves and of interfacing each of the unique qualities that we bring to the relationship.

Now if we were to turn this into a more "realistic" version of the game, my lists would most definitely have to be altered quite a bit. That wasn't my intention in starting this thread, although, if anyone would like to give a more "serious" and realistic reply, I would most certainly welcome it. As I said in my previous post to Jeff, I have given permission to be as superficial as you'd like, because you're correct--we can't "custom order" our mates IRL, but here WE CAN! So go ahead and slap on those 40DD's or that 10-inch cock...or give him/her the intelligence of 100 Felixes (wow...could you imagine that!?). I really meant this to be all in fun and fantasy. Really.

 

[Jeff726]

True true

I do see where you're coming from LL. I guess it's just that since I feel I have my perfect woman already, I don't have to look anymore. I did fantasize before, but now everything I ever dreamt about has come true. But if you and everyone else are having fun, that's perfectly cool by me.

The girl I am with now just happened to hit me hard. We are both young (her being 20 and me 19), but we both want the same thing out of life, and right now I definitely see her and I heading down the aisle in a few years. It's hard to explain what I feel for her. It's amazing. http://smilecwm.tripod.com/poke1/025.gif


-Jeff
in love with his girlfriend

 

[Felix]

100 Felixes


I believe the plural is "felixen," but I had not considered this until you raised the issue. In truth, there has been no great demand for multiples, despite the original's woeful reliability and performance record. In fact, there may have been a recall at some point...

As for the nature of the thread, it was not my intent to drag this delightful sequence (one all the more charming for its fantasies) into deeper, murkier waters. My response was quite literally an answer to your question, the best one I could manage. My situation is may be uncommon, but every set includes the null, so perhaps things such as this are inevitable.

Just imagine what happens when I TRY to make trouble.

[Edited by Felix on 06-24-2000 at 02:32 PM]

 

[Lovely Latina]

Ollie ollie Felixen free!

Just imagine what happens when I TRY to make trouble.

LOL!

UN-fathomable!

 

[Endlessly]

Speaking of tall orders..

My perfect male:

Interior attributes:

-A dry, intelligent, witty sense of humor.. A sort of irreverent and smart personality that can keep me in stitches

-Intelligence; the ability to think logically as well as the intuition to know when to cast logic aside

-An intense, underlying passion and an unshakeable belief in romance

-The sort of man who knows how much to tip a waiter in a Paris nightclub and how many times to bow in a Kyoto temple

-A dual spirit, one that is both protective and gentle, strong but not agressive, caring but not passive

-A spiritual man, with direction and drive

-An inherent sense of style

And as if that weren't enough.. Physical attributes:

-Taller AND older than me.. Don't care by how much (preferably under the age of 33 though)

-Dark hair and eyes.. Eyes that I know I can trust

-Well-defined, sensuous lips (not too large)

-For some reason, I seem to like men whose noses are SLIGHTLY large for their face.. I don't get it either.

-Clean-cut; but the sort that looks good in khakis or a leather jacket

-Toned physique

-One feature that usually doesn't stand out as amazingly attractive or desireable (collarbone, hands, etc.) that, for some reason, drives me wild


*blinks and rereads* Now why would a guy like that want ME? I'm seeing problems here. *LOL*

 

[Thumper]

LL....never thought I would see the day! You speechless?

Endlessly...... guess I don't come close. clean cut...no way khakis...not on me never.. and since you were wondering why a guy like that would want you...go look at your pic

I knew women didn't like blondes..I just knew it!

My perfect woman.....I honestly can't answer that....the only requirement physically is fit

Mentally/emotionally/spiritually

Great sense of humor(surprised?)
Intelligent(reads the paper every day)
Opinionated
Compassionate
Independent
Cynical(as in not naive)

 

[Gingersnap]

Did I mention had to promise not to suck the fun out of everything by taking every opportunity to patronize others.

 

[Oliver Clozoff]

The Perfect Woman (at last)

LL, thanks for giving me the run of your workshop. It's just that I have such a wide variety of tastes when it comes to women that I think I'll be wanting a season pass.

But without further ado, on to Mrs. Oliver Clozoff (mmmm... she sounds good already! *sly grin*)

Interior Features:
- Most important: a kind, loving nature that radiates its warmth to everyone and everything she touches.
- an incredible passion, vitality, optimism, and "joie de vive", such that her mere presence brightens a room, and gives me a constant example and inspiration.
- An erotic appetite to match mine (didn't know it before I came to this board, but you ladies are apparently out there. I don't know of a greater fantasy than to be woken up by her hungry kisses in the black night, knowing I can give her what she's seeking...
- Gracious, polite, well-bred, and well-mannered, but impish enough to tease me with footsies beneath the table at a formal banquet and goofy enough to try to stick grapes up her nose.
- Possessed of a wonderful sense of humor and always seems like she's just about to laugh.
- Has a favorite composer, philosopher, baseball team, and porno actress.
- Values tradition and established ritual, but is always willing to try new things and challenge my somewhat conservative nature.
- Adores fat little babies, puppies, ducklings, and all things cute and cuddly.
- Can think of no better way to spend an evening than with me, but is perfectly happy on her own.
- Is intelligent, well-read, and highly educated (she must challenge my mind as well as my spirit and body).
- Loves to talk like a sailor bed.
- Can quote back and forth with me all my favorite movie lines from Annie Hall to Dirty Harry.
- Turns the radio up loud and sings and dances in the car (rest of the world be damned).
- Knows all the branches of the external carotid artery and how to calculate the alveolar/arterial oxygen gradient (hey, a man can dream, can't he?)
- dresses sexyconservative (but her undies are 100% sexy)
- Is affectionate (but not over the top affectionate) in public and is alternately a tigress and a kitten in private.
- Loves to cook, especially for me (I'm asking a LOT, huh?)
- Shares many of her interests with me, but has a bunch of her own to introduce me to.

Exterior Features:

- Between 5'2" and 5'8" tall. (not all that important... I'm flexible. hehe)
- Has a body that can wear the @%#$ out of a bikini and lingerie.
- Anywhere from 21 to 27 (another relatively unimportant quality)
- Blond hair, blue eyes (just my fave... I love all hair and eye colors. Kinda the same as I like choc. and vanilla and strawberry and...)
- An ample and frequently heaving bosom (did you expect anything else?)
- A smile capable of instantly improving my day.
- A well-toned and cared-for body with baby-smooth skin...
- A beautiful inverted heart-butt, tight enough to repel small thrown change. (don't worry, just HYPOTHETICALLY)
- hmmmmm... Is having assload of money an internal or external feature? (*g*)

ummmm... that's about it. Like LL said, that's just my ideal. Getting a 50% on that list would make my eyes roll around like a slot machine until they came up hot tamales...

<sitting back and waiting for one of the sexy women of this board to declare her perfect man to be an overworked and underappreciated med student with thousands of dollars in debt>

 

[Guest]

Interior:
Healthy
Smart and funny
She thinks I'm funny
She thinks I fit her "ideal man" profile (once I find her I don't want to lose her.)
Loves animals and outdoor hobbies.

Exterior:
This will sound corny and trite but I'd trade in my exterior options for a roomier interior. I believe that form will follow function. If the lady is healthy and she enjoys swimming, hiking etc. Her form will be a result of these functions. I find all types of exteriors appealing.

 

[Thephantomprincess]

Man, this is going to be long, I'm Picky!

Thank you LL Darhlin' for the opportunity to shop in your perfect partner store. Here's my shopping list:

Male:

Interior(in no particular order):

- Open Minded
- Oppinionated
- Equal balance of Sensitive and Macho
- Intelligent
- career minded
- loving
- caring
- Gentlemanly
- manners
- romantic
- sexy
- funny
- non conformist
- Jewish
- cultured
- out going
- strong willed
- Professional
- Responsible
- affectionate, but not slobbery
- possessive
- protective
- giving
- Dynamic
- into experiementing
- lIkes a wide range of food

Exterior

- 5'8 or taller
- Neat in appearance
- Clean Shaven or Goatee (Former held in higher favor)and not lazy about shaving!
- Sense of style - Preppy/ classic not too trendy
- Hair - Preferable brown (I like 'em tall, dark and handsome)and long enough to run one's fingers through
- Clean and well groomed all over especially hands and feet!
- He should smell good - like a man - ie Farenheit, not Polo Sport
- Penis of at least average size and girth.
- Trimmed or shaved Pubic hair!!!!!!
- Broad shouldered, and well filled out.. I hate skinny guys I need something to grab on to
- lots of testosterone
- soft lips
- Deep, Soulful, piercing eyes
- strength

 

[Nexxus]

Hmmmmm...
For the sake of internet daydreaming I would like MY dream girl to be:

Originally from the midwest.
Bratty, but playful with a sarcastic as well as strong tongue.
Dark hair and complexion.
Some southern hospitality thrown in. Like someone who has spent some time in say Tennessee, or South Carolina or one of those nice southern states.
A full well rounded shape. Large breasts, curvy hips. Short, maybe 5"2'-5"4'. Oh and definately some Mexican heritage. She doesn't have to be French, but she should kiss that way.
She can't get mad, but she can get pensive.....or pissed.
Likes to play cards and drink wine (not neccessarily at the same time).
A good editor. And an excellent schoolastic background.
Someone who can "talk dirty" and respond to accordingly when spoken to that way.
Someone who likes to put me in my place (and most likely will!).

Ah, but where to find such a vixen? She probably only exists online.

 

[Golden]

I believe the plural is "felixen," but I had not considered this until you raised the issue.

It is a 3rd declension adjective, so the plural forms (M & F - I assume Neuter is not appropriate here!) are:
felices
felices
felices (or -is
felicium
felicibus
felicibus

 

[SpecialK]

Dagnabit!

Nexxus,

With a few moderate modifications, here I am! Could you take a Canadian instead? I did learn French in school. <sly grin>

As for my ideal man... I'm still thinking on it. Something this good takes time ya know!

K