The Penis Monologues

[Bob Peale]

Uh-uh! Do you know what it smells like in there?

Hey, don't grab so tight? How's a fella supposed to breathe?

I may be small, but I'm running THIS show.

That's it buddy - you wait this long again and I'm letting it run down your leg!

What the fuck - like you wake up ready for action!

Damn right it tickles - why the hell do you think I spit so far?

You know, it really doesn't matter to me where you put me - the views the same.

 

[Siren]

hahaa Bobby boy

 

[MissTaken]

"It gets dark.
It gets light.
It gets dark.
Light...
dark...
light...
And ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"


Same shit different day!

 

[Siren]

How about...........

 

[Fly_On_Wall]

It's a tough life for me.
The cucumber says he has it bad, they peal off all his skin rub salt on his wonds and eat him.
The Banana things he has it bad too, peal off his skin cut him up and dround him in milk.
the Pickel complains about being put in a jar and eaten.

Well what about me, They stick me in a plastic bag so i cna't breath then shove me in a dark hole and i'm forced to do push ups till I puke. If that isn't bad enough I have to do it all the time, at least once the others are eaten, it's over for them.




Yes i know i butured the original joke.... but i was makeing it a Monolog

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

No! Not the hand again!
Oh shit no!
Puhleese! Just once can't I get the real thing!
It's been so looonng!!

I miss my friends the pussy and the mouth - and oh, that tongue was so nice to me! You never take me out to meet new friends anymore!

Always the same thing; the hand and the five fingers - and four or five times a day too! Shit! Don't you have anything else to do? Shit! Get a dog! On second thought no - don't get a dog, please!

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

Bump

Ahh come on guys - this is interesting!