The Pedestal

[k¡tty]

Several times in the past I've made the mistake of placing someone up on a pedestal. Thinking that they were as near as perfect as possible, believing that there would be very little that they could do wrong. Only to become angry once they let me down, once they didn't live up to my preconceived expectations for who they were and what they were about.


The flip side to this is I have a feeling that (some) people have placed me up on that pedestal, in a position that I neither want nor deserve. Inevitably I screw up, because I am only human, disappointing that person. Ruining the fantasy image they've built up about me.


It bothers me when I believe I've hurt another, even unintentionally.. because it's still a pain that I feel that I'm partly responsible for. Even though I don't believe that I'm responsible for other peoples happiness I do believe that I can contribute to their unhappiness in some ways.



Have you or do you still place people up on pedestal's then unfairly become angry with them when you feel as though they've failed you in some way? When they haven't lived up to your image of them?

Do you believe that you've been placed upon on yourself? To discover that someone's reaction to something you've said or done to be perhaps more extreme than how they might react to another?





- I hope this isn't too confusing, I know it's more wordy than it needed to be but it's closing in on 2am here and I'm a bit tired.

 

[glamorilla]

nah~not confusing...just human nature.

i've done it to people,it's been done to me.

the only thing i can think of is the expression about having unrealistic expectations usually means you're going to be let down and that nobody is perfect.

although you are dam cute.

 

[MorgaineLaFay]

nah~not confusing...just human nature.

i've done it to people,it's been done to me.

the only thing i can think of is the expression about having unrealistic expectations usually means you're going to be let down and that nobody is perfect.

although you are dam cute.

ditto

 

[Killswitch]

Dont give up Glam.....And you thought I didnt care.

 

[glamorilla]

hey for the 200 an hour i get who cares what thier name is.

 

[k¡tty]

Thanks ya'll.



I don't know if people realize how much it bothers me if I've hurt them in some way. I think about it, sometimes cry over it.. and yeah generally obsess over it.

Trying to think of how I can fix the situation. I'm not perfect, I fuck up just like everyone else.

Even if I feel like someone has screwed me over I'm always willing to hear them out, to give them a chance to explain. *shrug*


As to the one that I placed up high I recognized what I was doing, I apologized to them for placing such unfair expectations upon them.

 

[k¡tty]

Dont give up Glam.....try placing one of the nameless guys you fuck on a pedestal so you can suck his cock standing stright up.

And you thought I didnt care.

Ya know what..


I'm genuinely upset over something and I personally don't need to have you drop in on a thread of mine that yeah surprisingly enough isn't a fluff thread, for the sole purpose of ripping up glam.


If that's your goal for the night KS, go make another thread and do it there.. k?

 

[Killswitch]

As to the one that I placed up high I recognized what I was doing, I apologized to them for placing such unfair expectations upon them.

When someone lets you down, it isn't your fault.

Practically no one lets me down.....I have such a low expectation of people anymore it isnt even funny.

 

[Killswitch]

Ya know what..


I'm genuinely upset over something and I personally don't need to have you drop in on a thread of mine that yeah surprisingly enough isn't a fluff thread, for the sole purpose of ripping up glam.


If that's your goal for the night KS, go make another thread and do it there.. k?

Sorry I let you down.......passes the pedestal, and I will obscure my post because your thread has merit.

 

[MorgaineLaFay]

In all seriousness Kitty, being put on a Pedestal, has no charm.

You have to live up to someone elses expectations.

Someone elses rules.

Life isn't good way up there.

Trust me...from someone who is always destinded to fall...

 

[Rhys]

Dont give up Glam.....try placing one of the nameless guys you fuck on a pedestal so you can suck his cock standing stright up.

And you thought I didnt care.

I just love it when you get all vicious and shit. But, I really love it when you develop an imagination.

I am sure the whole thought of Glam sucking cock has you shoving your cock in the vaseline jar and beating off until you have bruises.

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

I've been on both sides of this one...I can't stop someone from putting me in that position, but I've learned to accept people for who they are, not who I would like them to be. The same goes for relationships, where it always seems that one person wants more than the other, or is so fixated on what the want, that they fail to see what they really have.

Took me years, but I know that it only hurts others when you have unrealistic expectations, and the nest way to prevent them is by being open, honest, and communicating your feelings. It won't prevent all the problems, but at least you can sleep knowing that you did your best.

 

[k¡tty]

Sorry I let you down.......passes the pedestal, and I will obscure my post because your thread has merit.

Trust me you didn't let me down.

It was predictable. But I do appreciate your intention of stopping the bs here.. lets just see if it sticks.

 

[Rhys]

And Kitty? I apologise for racking KS in your thread.

 

[k¡tty]

In all seriousness Kitty, being put on a Pedestal, has no charm.

You have to live up to someone elses expectations.

Someone elses rules.

Life isn't good way up there.

Trust me...from someone who is always destinded to fall...

Exactly.


I don't want to be on one.. most of us don't mean to screw up but we always do at some time or another. Feeling badly because someone elses expectations were dashed isn't something that I want.

I just want to be me. A woman who tries to do the right thing, who cares but who at times makes mistakes. I don't enjoy having someone/anyone more upset with me for something than they might have been at another for the same err in judgement.

 

[k¡tty]

And Kitty? I apologise for racking KS in your thread.

Hey Rhys.. no apology necessary. You saw a friend of yours being attacked unfairly, you stood up for him.


That's an admirable trait in my book.

 

[glamorilla]

In all seriousness Kitty, being put on a Pedestal, has no charm.

You have to live up to someone elses expectations.

Someone elses rules.

Life isn't good way up there.

Trust me...from someone who is always destinded to fall...

sometimes...if its a one sided kind of thing~with someone whos madly infatuated with you~it can be quite flattering even if its not unfair.

on the other hand there's nothing worse than giving people better personalities who don't deserve it~and we all tend to do that with people we have crushes on.

 

[k¡tty]

sometimes...if its a one sided kind of thing~with someone whos madly infatuated with you~it can be quite flattering even if its not unfair.

on the other hand there's nothing worse than giving people better personalities who don't deserve it~and we all tend to do that with people we have crushes on.

I think you've hit the nail on the head with that.



How can you honestly tell someone that they are a great person, just not your great person, without hurting them?

Sure there are ways to do that to lessen the pain.. but there will still be a sting regardless.


Oh well.


Thanks again ya'll for your responses.

 

[intrigued]

I think you've hit the nail on the head with that.



How can you honestly tell someone that they are a great person, just not your great person, without hurting them?

Sure there are ways to do that to lessen the pain.. but there will still be a sting regardless.


Oh well.


Thanks again ya'll for your responses.

In romance, you have to be willing to risk a little. We can't all be eachothers perfect cup of tea.
It shouldn't be perceived as a personal slight, but that you just aren't right for eachother. Yes, it stings a bit, but usually that is because we want this person, and take their turning us away as a personal rejection, when its more about our meshing/not meshing as a couple.
Their are many, many nice blends of tea and lots of tea cups, too.

 

[Gil_Favor]

When you put someone up on a pedestal, the end result is that they end up looking down on you

 

[k¡tty]

In romance, you have to be willing to risk a little. We can't all be eachothers perfect cup of tea.
It shouldn't be perceived as a personal slight, but that you just aren't right for eachother. Yes, it stings a bit, but usually that is because we want this person, and take their turning us away as a personal rejection, when its more about our meshing/not meshing as a couple.
Their are many, many nice blends of tea and lots of tea cups, too.

I know it can be hard to accept that someone whom you may like might not have those feelings in return.

I guess I just have a hard time with being up on that pedestal. I'm just a girl. I do stupid things all the time, sometimes I am thoughtless even though I would never intentionally cause someone pain.. it happens.

So it effects me when I've disappointed someone.. dashed their illusions they held about me.