The Online Predator

[Ebonyfire]

Whatever

Pure aside,

Everyone here is supposedly an adult. If you feel you do not need the information given, then ignore it.

That does not make it any less valid.

Take it or leave, it. No skin off My back.

Note to Pure: "bromides?"

You really need to step away from the dictionary.

 

[Pure]

Eb: Take it or leave, it. No skin off My back.

Bromide: "trite remark" (Concise Oxford,1982)

QED. Thanks.


J.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Eb: Take it or leave, it. No skin off My back.

Bromide: "trite remark" (Concise Oxford,1982)

QED. Thanks.


J.

I know what it meets, silly. But you reall y ought to step away from the dictionary. And as for calling other people's remarks "trite", I think most of us on this forum can agree who puts the "t" in trite.

Have a nice day.

P.S.

Here is a word for you: ped·ant

1. One who pays undue attention to book learning and formal rules.

2. One who exhibits one's learning or scholarship ostentatiously.

3. Obsolete definition: A male schoolmaster.

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

Here's an idea that I think falls under predatory behavior: 'collaring' newbies. We go on and on about SSC, so let's discuss what consent actually means. Consent, in my mind, involves complete understanding and acceptance of what you are consenting to. If someone isn't very knowledgable about BDSM in general, why would some self-styled 'Master'(Master=predator more times than not, IMO) accept that person as a 'slave', when they have no experience or first-hand idea of what that means?

 

[catalina_francisco]

Here's an idea that I think falls under predatory behavior: 'collaring' newbies. We go on and on about SSC, so let's discuss what consent actually means. Consent, in my mind, involves complete understanding and acceptance of what you are consenting to. If someone isn't very knowledgable about BDSM in general, why would some self-styled 'Master'(Master=predator more times than not, IMO) accept that person as a 'slave', when they have no experience or first-hand idea of what that means?

My perhaps over active imagination comes up with many ideas on that, none of them all that honorable and/or positive.

Catalina

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

My perhaps over active imagination comes up with many ideas on that, none of them all that honorable and/or positive.

Catalina

Hmmmm....did I miss some drama over the weekend?

How can anyone with sense have a positive view of some predator accepting someone as their slave when the person not only doesn't know the 'Master', but really doesn't even know what they want out of the relationship?

 

[catalina_francisco]

Hmmmm....did I miss some drama over the weekend?

How can anyone with sense have a positive view of some predator accepting someone as their slave when the person not only doesn't know the 'Master', but really doesn't even know what they want out of the relationship?

Mmmmm...maybe your thread should be introduced to all new subs as an initiation ritual before venturing into the jungle of the forum...at least that way you get first pick.

Catalina

 

[ethereal~minx]

the article/info --to many-- is good information!


y'all that dumb?

to you, i guess so. Did i react ?
yeah, it caused a slight ache in my small self (ego)

people are intelligent ~~ most people, and i'm generalizing here, most people are brighter than you think they are.
i'm sure there are people that play that victim role all their lives~~ yeah! it irks me too but it's their life, not mine. they're still not dumb. besides that *shaking head* we've all had pain & struggles in our lives despite where we came from or what age we are.. it is how we walk through the fire that counts.. how we live every moment

yes, i read this article after my 1st experience with a Dom that at one time/maybe still i'd say He fit this to a T... yea, big deal. it was tough, there was a tremendous strong-hold though we were 3 states apart and spoke only occasionally... this still applies to what we had together.... my 1st post on this thread i asked if we could share names of online predators and i was really serious~~~ i was angry! HOWEVER, i don't have that same upset & rage anymore, and i do see the wisdom i've gained through all the crap....thankfully it was nothing more than emotional anguish but big deal, i'm doing nothing with this "label" on this person..i'm not spreading dirty laundry about this person.. this person has actually changed my life in extremely positive ways and i thank GOD this person was in my life.. it could have been different. it could have been very very very baaad....but it wasn't. and i guess this knowledge and awareness only comes from hindsight.

this article of information is useful to me. it is something a person can refer to from time to time ~~ like a little online life cheat sheet~~ a little common sense reminder regarding the net... nothing more, nothing less. i'm certainly not suggesting someone take this and compare every person they encounter to it, comeon...

i believe people want a place to share their experiences in relation to the topic whether the experience is from a naive pov or an expert pov ... where the opinions/experiences expressed are valued and respected, as if they were your own.

the decision to respond was hasty~
there must be a lesson for me
for all of us involved?
is it clear to see?

hey You naive Dom
and You expert sub
wherein lies the wisdom
in the gifts from up above?


what's the topic anyway?

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

Mmmmm...maybe your thread should be introduced to all new subs as an initiation ritual before venturing into the jungle of the forum...at least that way you get first pick.

Catalina

LOL

Since I am not an actual predator, I really don't want my pick of the newbies. Those folks remind me of the guys who only date virgins, and dump them once they get in the panties.

 

[catalina_francisco]

LOL

Since I am not an actual predator, I really don't want my pick of the newbies. Those folks remind me of the guys who only date virgins, and dump them once they get in the panties.

Nothing like the thrill of the chase for some....me, I prefer something a little slower, realistic, lasting/permanent, and treasured like a rare and precious jewel.

Cat

 

[Ebonyfire]

what's the topic anyway?

Hell if I know, LOL

 

[Mr Blonde]

Pure, I am not confused about anything. I gave a quick rundown on how people can avoid bad apples. It was an on-topic contribution to the discussion.

 

[FungiUg]

Here is a word for you: ped·ant

1. One who pays undue attention to book learning and formal rules.

2. One who exhibits one's learning or scholarship ostentatiously.

3. Obsolete definition: A male schoolmaster.

Yay! That's me! (Also known as "spelling Nazi", in my case anyway.)

Just out of interest, the online predator is not limited to D/s -- in fact, I'd love to see some statistics to see if it's less common in D/s, because we make more of an upfront issue about safety, checklists, phone-ins and so on.

Ah who knows. There are some sick people out there... and not in a nice way.

 

[MissTaken]

WEll, there are predators on vanilla sites, in vanilla relationships, in churches, schools, supermarkets and of course, bars.

So, while we can say, "use common sense," common sense isn't something you are born with, IMHO. Experience, information and discussions such as this one are necessary to share what "common sense" on line interaction may include.

It is easy to get swept away by the attention and warm feelings you may feel when interracting with someone, on line or in real life, but as our vision is clouded by our feelings, reminders never hurt.

I have met more "predatorial" types outside of the lifestyle, however, my experience is not what one should gauge potential statistics or patterns of behavior on. However, I do think that BDSM websites are a magnet for those who are lonely and have the misinformation that there are thousands of submissives at ***.com waiting to spread their legs. And the converse being true, lonely men and women who believe that they can go to a kink site and hook up more easily than anywhere else. To the untrained eye, we are freaks who are free with their sex. Oddly enough, for those practicing with serious intent, I believe the converse is true.

In any event, in MY OWN experience, I have been more often fooled by pretenders and wannabes who say all the right things in an effort to appear that they can meet my needs, but when meeting in real life, it just ain't so.

As for being "victimized" in relationships, it was my two "vanillas" that did that and yes, essentially with my permission. Time and experience will prevent that from happening again. And frankly, I doubt there is a single person among us who hasn't known the pain of deception. It happens and we learn from our mistakes.


So again, for those of us with that time in and experience, much of the stuff in this essay seems to be "common sense," but may not be to someone wrapped up in the excitement of their first D/s interaction.

 

[FungiUg]

In any event, in MY OWN experience, I have been more often fooled by pretenders and wannabes who say all the right things in an effort to appear that they can meet my needs, but when meeting in real life, it just ain't so.

This is a little different. Still sad. I've never understood why people lie to try to "get" other people, when the first thing you are going to notice is the lie! Why not be yourself and find someone who likes you for who you really are? Maybe it's a self-image problem. Or just some people are plain pathetic. Again, this happens in non-D/s relationships too.

So again, for those of us with that time in and experience, much of the stuff in this essay seems to be "common sense," but may not be to someone wrapped up in the excitement of their first D/s interaction.

If common sense where "common", we wouldn't have to remind everybody to use it! When I'm wearing my "free relationship counselling" hat, I always remind people that the best partners are those the head and heart both agree on. Intense emotional connection is one thing, but your head also has to agree that this is the right person for you. You want both.

Trust is built, not created whole. And anyone real with nothing to hide will never object to being checked out. It won't eliminate completely the wannabes (oooh, wannabe Darleks... "exterminate! exterminate!") but may save some wear and tear.

I guess we all learn best from experience though. Provided we survive those experiences! I'm glad you have, MissT.

 

[snowy ciara]

bumping for gp Lots of good info here, if you feel sifting the wheat from the chaff.