The Online Predator

WriterDom

Good to the last drop
Joined
Jun 25, 2000
Posts
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The following is a composite profile of an Online Predator. This profile was
compiled by a number of submissive women for the use of submissive women.
It is written from the perspective of a submissive female whose nature
requires
her to respond to a dominant male.

The Online Predator


1) Definition:

The Online Predator is one who uses the mechanisms of cyber space to hunt
human beings with the intent to exploit, rob, plunder and pillage their
body,mind, heart and soul.

2) Characteristics of a Predator:

1. Liar: ( Self explanatory )
2. Deceiver: His self situation is presented as other than what it is.
3. Betrayer: He is likely to break trust.
4. Insecure: He is worried that others will be faithless.
5. Inconsistent: He will say one thing while doing another.
6. Lacking Honor: Usually while protesting that he has honor.
7. Lack of Respect: He will tend to denigrate others.
8. Transient: He is unlikely to have many long term friends.
9. Manipulator: He calculates and contrives for his own benefit to the
detriment of his partner.
10. Secretive: He will tend to cloak himself and his activities.
11. Charming: If he could not steal your breath away, he would not be a
successful hunter.
12. Selective: He will pick victims carefully, looking for weaknesses and
filling those voids completely.
13. Chameleon: He will appear to fit any need perfectly and adapt to fill
any desire.
14. Lacking in Self Control: Although at times, he may have extraordinary
self control and discipline.

A predator probably exhibits these characteristics in all aspects of his
life. It may be that the only place the predator seems to have honor and
value Truth is in the Relationship he is developing with his victim. When
developing a new relationship, a submissive should make a conscious effort to
observe her partnerâs interaction with others, not just how he interacts with
her. The predator may well reveal his true self through his interactions.
But, the submissive may only see this revelation if she is committed to
taking every precaution for her own safety.

3) Predator Warning Signals:

While any of these phrases or actions may be acceptable in a given context,
pay close attention when seeing or hearing them. Phrases:
1. Do not tell .
2. ( ) is crazy ! ( or psycho, sick, a liar, or out to get me )
3. It would be best if you no longer spoke to .
4. I do not need to defend myself against lies.
5. They are just jealous ( of me, of us, of what we have, that you have me ).

Actions:

1. May seldom be in the D/s chat rooms. Operates from other areas or private
rooms.
2. Has personal information which is incomplete or not verifiable.
3. Becomes defensive or angry when questioned.
4. Questions the sincerity of the submissive when questioned.
5. He will usually discourage or forbid the practice of reference checks.
6. He will usually discourage or forbid the use of Safe Calls.

4) The Submissiveâs Personal Warning Signals:

These are items that a submissive should pay attention to if she is saying
them to herself or hearing them from others.
1. I feel he is just too good to be true.
2. You are hearing consistent warnings from more that one person.
3. Your instincts are whispering something is not right about this person.

5) Summary:

The final best defense any submissive has against an Online Predator is her
own common sense and judgment. The submissive should always remember that
desires, needs, and the heat of the moment can combine to drown that
judgment. Always take a moment to step back, take a deep breath and look at a
potential partner with common sense and not with passion


What is a "Red Flag"?

A "Red Flag" is any indication that you should steer clear of a particular
person, either Dom/me or sub. These can pop up at any time, though most often
in the beginning of a potential relationship. They can be obvious or they can
be subtle.


Some common examples might be:

1) Inappropriate questions or comments during the initial conversations, such
as do you want to play? or what are you wearing? or what do you look like? or
asking for your phone number immediately, etc. Such questions have nothing at
all to do with D/s, but rather indicate the person is looking for cyber or
phone sex.

2) Moving too quickly: if the prospective Dom/me or sub seems to be in a
hurry to begin a relationship, or to advance it faster than seems reasonable
or comfortable for you. Like if they want to meet you within the first 10
minutes online. Trust is the cornerstone. and cannot be rushed. Clearly,
there is no arbitrary time frame, but most long-lasting relationships take
several weeks if not months to build before actual contact.

3) Inappropriate attitude: "bow down and worship me" those who act as if
every submissive must obey every so-called Dom, and begin giving or obeying
orders from the word go. Or those who have the idea that each and every Tom,
Dick, and Harry must be addressed as Sir, whether they know them or not. Many
subs in the chat rooms do this, but respect is worth little if it is so
lightly given. Both of these attitudes and practices show a poor
understanding of the true dynamics of Dominance and submission.

4) Safety violations: reluctance to have a safeword or other safety
precautions in place, either during the first meeting or later. Run.

5) Lack of communication: if your potential partner is reluctant to discuss
something with you, pay attention. Likewise, and equally serious, if you are
told directly or indirectly, that you may not discuss something with others,
or may not talk to someone else, or may not go to a particular area, be
careful. Trying to "gag" someone is a sign that something is wrong.

6) A persistent bad reputation: or unwillingness to give references. This can
be tricky if the person you are talking to is new online, but it is still a
red flag. Or perhaps a yellow one.

7) Trashing ex-partners. When someone is constantly talking about their ex
publicly in the chat rooms and on bb's, i.e., trying to ruin their rep, try
to keep in mind that you might be their "ex" someday and be subjected to such
treatment if things do not go the way they want. This is something that both
Dom/mes and subs are frequently guilty of. Warning others of potential danger
from an ex-partner is obviously a different case.

8) Frequent inconsistencies. If someone often makes contradictory statements
from one day to the next, like Mon. tells you s/he has no children, then on
Fri., mentions his/her son's birthday or something. If a person often seems
to have a lot of trouble remembering what they have said to you from one day
to the next, it could be that they are telling a lot of people a lot of
different things. Just in general, I would encourage anyone to really try to
get to know someone before making a final judgment on their character.
However, caution and common sense should always rule. If you have doubts, do
not give out personal information. You can still talk to this person, but be
careful.

And please, trust that GUT INSTINCT.
 
WriterDom said:
3) Predator Warning Signals:

While any of these phrases or actions may be acceptable in a given context,
pay close attention when seeing or hearing them. Phrases:
1. Do not tell .
2. ( ) is crazy ! ( or psycho, sick, a liar, or out to get me )
3. It would be best if you no longer spoke to .
4. I do not need to defend myself against lies.
5. They are just jealous ( of me, of us, of what we have, that you have me ).


3) Inappropriate attitude: "bow down and worship me" those who act as if
every submissive must obey every so-called Dom, and begin giving or obeying
orders from the word go. Or those who have the idea that each and every Tom,
Dick, and Harry must be addressed as Sir, whether they know them or not. Many
subs in the chat rooms do this, but respect is worth little if it is so
lightly given. Both of these attitudes and practices show a poor
understanding of the true dynamics of Dominance and submission.
I've been online for almost 10 years. I've been in every kinda BDSM online situation you can think of, talking to people, getting to know people, and yes, "playing" online at times, too. I've seen every kinda Dom (it's almost always Doms, rather than Dommes, too) you can imagine, from those who are real and have real life experience, to those who are real but still lack real life experience, to those who "wanna be" Dominants but lack most of the knowledge (online or rl) necessary, to those who, unfortunately, think being "MasterStrong" or "SirHard" is a cool easy way to score a little cheap easy sex.

If you're seeking, sincerely, for answers and info and shiveringly exciting touches in this new-to-you world of BDSM intensity, you'll eventually bump into other people who are seeking, too - and some of them will be seeking you.

Some will be seeking you because they can help you along your road, because they're good with those who are new to this kind of sexuality. Some will be seeking you because they are scum and think you're easy pickings for anyone with the word "Master" or "Sir" in front of their name.

The quoted parts of WriterDom's info above is, i think, the most important for new, online people seeking after info regarding their submissive tendencies to understand.

No real Master will ever try to isolate you from your world of support. If you are deriving benefit from your association with other BDSM people, he will ask about that which you're learning, and try to correct what might be wrong in his eyes, but he will not, ever, try to isolate you from everyone else you call a friend.

No real Master will EVER demand your submission or your obedience or your respect. Those are yours to give to him when you are comfortable doing so. Many real Masters will be very careful and cautious about accepting your submission, to be honest, since their obligation to you is serious indeed when they do.

Be very careful with online D/s relationships.
Everything online is heightened. Intimacy proceeds at a pace not possible Out There. Go slowly and keep your *self* in focus. You can find very meaningful, very important, very long-lasting D/s relationships online, but it requires you to be a cautious shopper, so to speak.

Be careful.
If you're unsure, ask someone whose advice you trust.
:cool:
 
True--but the nature of a D/s relationship is more inclined to let the the wierdos and the assholes think they can get away with their bullshit.
 
Did you post this thread for general information or because you think you've spotted someone here that fits the description? Not asking for names, just general answer (no witch hunt.)
 
Cheyenne said:
Did you post this thread for general information or because you think you've spotted someone here that fits the description? Not asking for names, just general answer (no witch hunt.)

Just general information.
 
This kind of information is not usually easily available. It should be, thanks.
 
willfulbrat said:
Thank you, WriterDom. Wish i'd seen this a couple of months ago.

Yoiks... :(

Since it's for a good cause, I think I'll just give this one another

*bump*
 
I'm starting to think seriously about meeting some of my online partners, and I was looking around for helpful advice. This thread has provided exactly what I was looking for! Thank you for posting the piece, WriterDom. I also appreciated cymbidia's thoughts on the subject. :)
 
I've been online line 4-5 years and in that time made some wonderful online friends. Some of these friendships have even transistioned into real life friendships. However, I've also been hurt worse than I thought possible after falling in love online. In retrospect, I made a lot of mistakes when I gave my heart to someone before I'd ever met them in real life. Most of these mistakes and many others are outlined in the following web site:
http://www.wildxangel.com/frames.html

I just wish I had found it sooner. It's not a happy site but it isn't meant to be. I do recommend as required reading for Internet Relationships.
 
Great info

Thanks WriterDom. You have clarified a number of issues for me and I appreciate your candor and your wisdom.

Big Thanks!
 
OMG!!! Someone I've been talking to online has displayed several of those things and I thought I was just over-reacting...figured I'd watched one to many dateline episodes.
 
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