The Onion's take on the Pros and Cons of Prostitution

[Not Normal]

This is hilarious and spot on.
http://www.theonion.com/graphic/pros-and-cons-legalizing-prostitution-51209

Several global advocacy groups, including the World Health Organization, Amnesty International, and Human Rights Watch, are calling for the decriminalization of prostitution, but many are fighting to keep the practice illegal, citing the moral, ethical, and practical concerns of condoning the sale of sex. Here are the pros and cons of legalizing prostitution:

PRO

Creates additional tax revenue to be withheld from women’s health care
Bold new frontier of Yelp reviews
Politicians caught soliciting prostitutes can boast about supporting small businesses
Would free up law enforcement agents to finally win that war on drugs
Saves us from any chance of a modern reimagining of Risky Business
Probably a little easier than convincing everyone to stop

CON

Sex is wrong
One more group we’re forced to acknowledge as human beings
Commodifies women without the benefit of a two-year contract from Maybelline
With legalization of marijuana and gay marriage, news outlets can’t afford to lose another source of endless debate
Clients will still be terrible people
If we let consenting adults have sex, who knows what else they’ll want permission to do?

 

[yossi]

The yelp reviews would be worth reading.

 

[BabblingBrooke]

Politicians do enjoy frequenting and supporting small businesses. It's often a nice photo op for them, too.

 

[yossi]

Let's just hope that Chris Christie's tape is never leaked.

 

[BabblingBrooke]

Let's just hope that Chris Christie's tape is never leaked.

Damn you! Now I need some imagination bleach.

 

[DesEsseintes]

Let's just hope that Chris Christie's tape is never leaked.

It would need to be an IMAX release to take in the full majesty.

 

[Lancecastor]

My only objection to prostitution is the bitches keep fucking other guys.

 

[Not Normal]

Let's just hope that Chris Christie's tape is never leaked.

It would need to be an IMAX release to take in the full majesty.

perfect

 

[BabblingBrooke]

My only objection to prostitution is the bitches keep fucking other guys.

You want your own private prostitute?

 

[Lancecastor]

You want your own private prostitute?

A bunch of them yeah....for different occasions.

 

[Recidiva]

A bunch of them yeah....for different occasions.

As long as you can pay for exclusivity, not a problem.

24 hour a day lack of service though, is gonna cost you.

 

[snugglestruggle]

I'm pretty sure many politicians are in favor of decriminalization. I imagine the news media and entertainment industries are against it because that would eliminate 33% of what they report.

Just imagine, reporters actually having to go find a real story to make up for the sex scandals. Will they double down on Kardashian stories to take up the slack?

 

[ToPleaseHim]

As long as you can pay for exclusivity, not a problem.

24 hour a day lack of service though, is gonna cost you.

Wonder what kind of bank roll that would require...

I'm pretty sure many politicians are in favor of decriminalization. I imagine the news media and entertainment industries are against it because that would eliminate 33% of what they report.

Just imagine, reporters actually having to go find a real story to make up for the sex scandals. Will they double down on Kardashian stories to take up the slack?

My colleagues and I were just discussing the sensationalism in "news reporting" and this very thing was said! Do I know you?

 

[Recidiva]

Wonder what kind of bank roll that would require...

I support the legalization of prostitution.

I just can't...support it personally. Not enough petty cash.

 

[Lancecastor]

As long as you can pay for exclusivity, not a problem.

Relationships....

 

[snugglestruggle]

My colleagues and I were just discussing the sensationalism in "news reporting" and this very thing was said! Do I know you?

I dunno, Do you like fruit on your pizza?

 

[eyer]

It would need to be an IMAX release to take in the full majesty.

perfect

So easy for progressives to diss someone they dislike for their weight...

...while, out of the other side of their mouths, demonizing any one who dares make fun of the weight of any of their fellow progressives.

GB progressive women go PC-bonkers when any poster uses a woman's weight as any sort of online tool of attack...

...are men's weights fair game, then, or is it simply that fellow progressives are making the attack that keeps them totally silent this time?

 

[hashtag45]

So easy for progressives to diss someone they dislike for their weight...

...while, out of the other side of their mouths, demonizing any one who dares make fun of the weight of any of their fellow progressives.

GB progressive women go PC-bonkers when any poster uses a woman's weight as any sort of online tool of attack...

...are men's weights fair game, then, or is it simply that fellow progressives are making the attack that keeps them totally silent this time?

Does that (your butthurt) mean that you're overweight too? Like fatass Chris Christie?

 

[Libsam]

Looks like the chapter on prostitution in Freakonomics really inspired some folks!

 

[ToPleaseHim]

I dunno, Do you like fruit on your pizza?

Sure. Pizza's not my first choice, though. My lunch preference is to order Chinese. You like Chinese?