The New Story List

[KillerMuffin]

by the Unmasked Muffin. That just doesn't sound good, does it?

Anyway, in all of this poetry excitement, the stories are getting a little left out.

This isn't an ask for feedback on your story thread. Those requests will be rudely ignored. This a heads up on the new stories that've come out for something at least vaguely interesting.

A warning: I am not offended by icky topics. That means you can find yourself clicking into a story thats in a category you don't like.

A thank you: This was a great idea done by the Unmasked Poet who is doing wonderful things for the poetry side. Check out the threads to see some fabulous reviews of poetry!

 

[KillerMuffin]

The Best Laid Plans by Whispersecret is the cream of today's crop. Even over my own, I think. She'll kill me for this, but if you can't handle the heat, don't post your work in public. <-- disclaimer.

Even if you haven't read the excellent novella Hostile Takeover, you can still read this one. It's a stand alone story that reprises the characters for the Christmas Contest.

The characters are likeable, smoothly detailed, and well written. They draw you into the plot nicely, I think. As always, WS manages to deliver some really nice sex, too. To prove that she's one of the better writers on the site, just read it. She strings the words along in such an interesting way that it's difficult to notice the mistakes unless you're looking for them.

The best bit, is the last sentence. Even though I was half expecting it, it still made me smile.

 

[daughter]

Thanks for picking up the torch

KillerMuffin--

It's very cool for you to take on the task. Why are there more requests for feedback than folks doing what you and UP are?

((d dodging dirty looks from anxious writers/poets asking for feedback))


I'll join you after the holidays. This is fourth quarter for me. Big time stress and I have to play Santa, too.

I commend your commitment, KM.

Peace,

daughter

 

[P. B. Walker]

I checked out Whispersecret's "The Best Laid Plans". Great story. The characters felt totally real and the dialogue was excellent. The story really flowed. I was finished with it before I knew it. And of course... with a raging <wink>.

You give us beginners something to shoot for Whisper.

- PBW

 

[LakotaMoon]

whispersecret

Muffin, you're right - the "Best laid plans" is superb! Like always - great work, whispersecret!

 

[Black_Bird]

Great story!!!

Loved the last line - it pulled the whole story together.

 

[KillerMuffin]

Bob Waters delivers another fabulous read with Captive Maiden

I love this guy, I really do.

Normally non-consent of this sort drive me nuts, I can't stand it when a viriginal girl gets it from an old man. On my end of things I wouldn't call the sex hot, but subjective is as subjective does. The ending, though...

The thing I really like about Bob is that he's good at writing. His characters draw you into the story and make you feel like reading it even if you're not all that into what's happening. It's not sexual, it's just a damned good story.

The writing can be a little weak, he does like the tagged speech. I don't think there was a line of speech that wasn't tagged in some way. He's also got the added difficulties of adverbs to describe the speech unnecessarily, which can be a problem. Don't worry though, you're not likely to notice it.

One does wonder, is the recurring description of the girl as a "pretty teen" a bad thing or does it give her that cheerleaderish quality the writer was striving for?

 

[P. B. Walker]

Just read Bob Waters "Captive Maiden" and enjoyed his writing style. This type of story is not something I generally read, but the story was well written and the characters well drawn out. I thought the dialogue was very believable. I have problems with the dialogue in most of the stories I read here. It never seems believable, but Bob Waters did a good job with the dialogue I felt.

The sex scenes were above average I thought, but not outstanding. One thing I liked was that he described things that the average reader could relate to. The guy wasn't 10 or 12 inches long and as fat as a beer can. When I read stories where the man is that big the first thing I do is roll my eyes. The girl in the story didn't have a 44EE rack either. I could identify with the characters.

The ending really caught me by surprise. I was expecting something cheesy and was pleasantly surprised. If we didn't have to vote in whole numbers, I would give this story a 4.5 out of 5.0.

- PBW

 

[KillerMuffin]

Always great to see Eve of Destruction post something new. Today she brought us a review of a French film followed by an intriguing look into the stupid things that people do.

Turtles, cocks, and lions was the subject of her musings today.

It explores the vagaries of love, lust, obsession, and delusion. Well, Eve does at least.

I thought it was very thought provoking about the human condition as it revolves around infatuative behaviors.

 

[Whispersecret]

The Best Laid Plans by Whispersecret is the cream of today's crop. Even over my own, I think. She'll kill me for this, but if you can't handle the heat, don't post your work in public. <-- disclaimer.

A. I could never kill you, Muff. You're too good a sounding board for my brainstorming.
B. Hey, I'm all up for heat.

She strings the words along in such an interesting way that it's difficult to notice the mistakes unless you're looking for them.

Yeah, there are several mistakes that screamed at me. My only excuse is that I was in a rush to get out of town, and I didn't have the time to really peruse it as many times as I would have liked. I'm still away from home and am only now (five days after submitting) able to check in and see how the story was being received.

Still, even with the rough spots and mistakes, I'm pleased with it. I coughed up the story in the space of a couple of days, which is highly unusual for me. Anyone who is familiar with my modus operandus knows that I am a slow writer, so to spit a story out in two days is nothing short of miraculous. Even more of a surprise was how well it worked as a device to get my writing juices flowing again. Since before the rejection I'd been in a slump, and it was thrilling to feel that spark of creativity again. Also, it was fun to revisit the Rockwells.

 

[Couture]

This is a great idea! Thanks for trying to bring some 'stories' back to this board.

And that was a great story!

 

[KillerMuffin]

Today's Creamy Crop!

David Phillips has brought us something that tickled my toes almost as much as my own effort did. It shames me to say that his is superior simply because mine sucked.

How the Grinch Fucked Christmas trots out the old standby in a way that would have Dr. Seuss suiting up for war. You cannot fuck me in my box, you cannot fuck me you dumb fox, You cannot fuck me here or there, you cannot fuck me anywhere!

I definitely won't be reading it to my kids this Christmas, but it's good for a grin!

 

[garyblue]

story?

Why isn't this in the poetry section? David didn't intend this to be in the anal story section, did he?

Is there a rule that something that's enjoyable on a first read is not Poetry (note the capitalization)? Is it necessary to be arcane, esoteric, obscure, or obfuscatory to be called Poetry?

This is clearly not in the least prosaic. I guess all those narratives I thought were poems weren't. So much for "The Night Before Christmas," "Hiawatha," "Iliad," "Beowulf," "Rime of the Ancient Mariner," "The Hunting of the Snark," "The Charge of the Light Brigade," all the Dr. Seuss adventures and god knows what else.

As a story, this rates a strong 3. As a poem, this is a 5. The author, David Phillips, uses predefined characterizations well, keeping to the spirit of the original. Rhyme, meter, and word inventions are not perfect, but the misses are not distracting. What we have here is a small satire done to a nicety.

I voted 5 since it is clearly a poem.

g