The Naughty List

[TANSTAAFL58]

Season's Greetings and Merry Christmas all you wonderful Pervs.

As you can see from my Av, I kind of look like Santa. I do have some North Pole connections.

I have it on authority that people on the naughty list get the best / most interesting presents. I assume that you folks, the nicest Deviants on the internet are all naughty. So, Ladies, sit on my lap, Gents, grab us a couple of beers and sit over there. Tell me, so I can pass it on to the Big Guy: What did you do to get on the Naughty List this year? What do you promise to do before Christmas Eve?

Me? I finally sucked it up and posted some pics in AmPics. I wrote a story that took a innocent TV character (Ensign Tilley from Discovery) and turned her into a raving sex maniac. I wrote bad puns on several threads, but not on the PG Puns thread. I wrote an erotic Haiku that was 6-7-5 instead of 5-7-5. I have pissed off a few Litizens. Before Christmas Eve, I will write and deliver a naughty flash story to a Litster I barely know as part of the PG Secret Santa

Let's hear it folks!

https://i.imgur.com/6WDLl3F.jpg

 

[Acktion]

Somehow, I figure I was shifted there permanently a couple of years ago when I shared the tale of his slutty daughter. However, if enough time had passed that I was in any danger of getting shifted off it, I recalled it to anyone's attention that didn't know about it at the bottom of this post.

Then there is my parody of an avatar and profile pic.

Oh, and I recounted the saddest Christmas story ever over in the PG Audio thread... Or so I was told. I guess she's never heard "The Little Match Girl." I'll have to do that one later.

Hmm. Now I think about it, I may have to up my game. I'm gonna have to give it some thought.

Maybe a pic of grilling reindeer steaks in the "What's Cookin'" thread later...

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

Bad year for me. I ignored my sworn oath to uphold the United States Constitution and instead used the power entrusted to me as servant of the people to try to coerce a vulnerable ally to advance my personal political aims, at the expense of my citizens’ national interests. I then conspired to obstruct a Constitutionally sanctioned investigation into this action.

Oh wait.

I took the last slice of pizza and left the empty box in the fridge. Embaaaaaaaaarrassing!

 

[Bramblethorn]

I have it on authority that people on the naughty list get the best / most interesting presents. I assume that you folks, the nicest Deviants on the internet are all naughty. So, Ladies, sit on my lap, Gents, grab us a couple of beers and sit over there. Tell me, so I can pass it on to the Big Guy: What did you do to get on the Naughty List this year? What do you promise to do before Christmas Eve?

I had fun with somebody whose name I don't know. And I left my poor readers dangling for months in the middle of a series.

 

[TANSTAAFL58]

Okay Kinky Litsters. It's time again. Tell Santa why you really belong on the Naughty List. I recently suggested to a friend that a good start would be:

"Santa, I can explain..." or,

"Santa, let me tell you what REALLY happened." or,

"Santa, let me show you"

Just three weeks to go...

 

[midwestyankee]

How I Made It to the Naughty List

I voted for Trump.*







*Not really but I'm hopeful that this lie will get me a nudge onto the fun list.

 

[seela]

I think I've been exceptionally good and boring this year. Sigh.

 

[Acktion]

Dear Santa,

With regards to our client's naughtiness or niceness, it has been requested that we forward the following two items for your consideration;

1) It was worth it, you judgemental old voyeuristic fat bastard.

2) Enclosed is a recipe for venison steak marinade.

Our client has refused further comment at this time.

Respectfully,

The Offices of Cocke and Ballz, LL.D.

 

[Orchidea73]

Mildly naughty. But on the whole I'm rather boring in that department, so I don't think I'm qualified. Would love to though.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Dear Uncle Nick

let me tell You what's happened on the naughty side of things since Xmas last year
this skanky girl hasn't changed her ways nor have the People around her
only this shitty pandemic has been reducing her opportunities for such as noone can have a bdsm sex orgy with 1.5m (or 5ft) distance

Your slutty bitch cunt Anja

Social Distancing Bukkake Challenge?

 

[Bramblethorn]

how should that work?

Well, the guys stand in a circle 1.5 metres away from the person in the centre...

 

[Deleted member 3041612]

Dearest Santa,

I possibly am on the good list. I just wanted to see what the bad list looks like. What gifts would they receive?

 

[sally_sparrow]

Dear Santa,

While I feel like I've been fairly good this year, a few things may have put me on the naughty list:

I wrote a few really dirty stories.

I had a friend visit me at work after hours to fulfill a naughty fantasy... a few times.

I had orgasms all over town in public places with no one's knowledge.

I explored a new kink in depth and shared it with a few friends.

I scrolled through Wikipedia... and didn't donate... I'm going to now though because I feel bad!

Sincerely,

Sally xx

 

[Bramblethorn]

as i said how's that supposed to work in reality?

Well, you need guys who can ejaculate 1.5 metres. That's the challenge part.

 

[cookiecat]

as i said how's that supposed to work in reality?

Perhaps the guy who makes it closest to you gets the prize?

Or you have to crawl to each pool of cum and wipe it up?

I saw this funny picture of a girl in the middle of a bunch of guys who were peeling carrots and the carrot slices landed all over her face. I keep thinking the guys could jerk off in to a paper airplane and throw them at you.

Dumb stuff to think about on a Saturday morning!

 

[cookiecat]

In April, when we seriously shut down because of covid, I decided to call in sick even though I wasn't really sick. It was more sick and tired; I wanted an extra day to just hang out. Instead, I had to talk to Occupational Health, schedule a covid test, wait 3 days for results. So I got 3 extra days off work. :

No sexy time naughtiness to get me on the list though.

 

[ultramarineblue]

Does being an awful person work?

 

[cookiecat]

Does being an awful person work?

Maybe Santa will spank you?

(Hope you're ok?)

 

[seela]

Does being an awful person work?

You're so far from an awful person.

Everyone does stupid and awful things sometimes, but that doesn't make them an awful person.

 

[ultramarineblue]

Maybe Santa will spank you?

(Hope you're ok?)

You're so far from an awful person.

Everyone does stupid and awful things sometimes, but that doesn't make them an awful person.

what seela said

Thank y'all.

 

[gracie920101]

Looking for naughty Santa pics to post

https://cdn012.bdsmlr.com/uploads/photos/2020/12/175081/bdsmlr-175081-KUTACTF8Jp.jpg

 

[Acktion]

Apparently "Dirty Santa" is just a game where you get to "steal" someone else's gift you like better.

Who knew?! With that name, I think my confusion (and thus my attire) was perfectly understandable!

I even took the red floggers out because I thought they would be more festive than a couple of the basic black...

 

[gracie920101]

This could open a brand new chapter in the ugly Christmas sweater contest

http://dehayf5mhw1h7.cloudfront.net/wp-content/uploads/sites/404/2015/12/14101316/566b07e81900002400789aa0-200x200.jpeg

https://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2017/12/03/22/46F3ED4400000578-0-image-m-67_1512341331598.jpg