The Mystery of the Internet

[A Desert Rose]

I would like to discuss how the internet has affected your relationships with others. I quite frankly find it a mysterious place, very often a romantic place. It has expanded my thinking on many levels and also has made me understand and be less judgemental of others who are not neccessarily like me. A lot of this is due to the fact that online I have met many people from many different places. The "globalness" (is that a word?) of the net makes it an exciting experience.
I would love to have you share your input and experiences on this thread.

Thank you,
Rose

 

[mritsme]

the net is a wonderful place to meet people around the world and places like lit, but if you are talking about starting a relationship all i can say is play it SAFE and find out all yoiu can about who you meet you never know what the person is really like just what that person wants yu to hear. But i love the net and i really love lit i say things here that i norm would not to people i know as in family

 

[Lancecastor]

The 'net...

....and the Apple computer changed my life ten years ago.

I also really learned about BDSM online and my first skin-to-skin was via a friendship formed online.

The net and the mac have made me friends all over the world IRL, helped me make more of my career than I ever thought possible and have created travel, romance, and knowledge in huge pools I still dip into daily.

Speaking of dips..I'm off to the cottage. Happy Labour Day, all!

Lance "Big Dipper" Castor

 

[Detton]

the internet..

I may not have a lot of experience with .. well, the kinds of things discussed on this entire forum, let alone this place (BSDM) period, but I have had a number of relationships online...

It's.. a lot different online, then it is in the Real World. Alot of people think everyone online is pretending to be someone else, and thats true, to some extent. However, if someone isn't trying to be someone else, they are usually the closest thing to their "true" self as they get.

It's alot easier to relax and be yourself without normal inhibitions like stammering or blushing getting in the way. I'm very shy offline, but the people i talk with, i'm very open to.

The pitfall to the internet, one I have experienced alot, is that distance is a terrible hinderance to a serious relationship. As the years go by, you just feel more and more pained, not being able to physically touch someone.

If you make regular meetings, this isn't as big of a problem. for myself, i'm a college student, and traveling very far is out of the question.

It's a mysterious place, and an attractive prospect if you're looking for someone, but even if you feel you met the 'real' someone , it doesn't mean things will go great...

I learned that one not long ago, when I was visited by someone I cared about, just once. After that, we grew apart because of the distance, and inability to meet enough.

enough SOB stories from me, though. Sorry.

~Detton

 

[~Dream~]

Re: the internet..

I may not have a lot of experience with .. well, the kinds of things discussed on this entire forum, let alone this place (BSDM) period, but I have had a number of relationships online...

It's.. a lot different online, then it is in the Real World. Alot of people think everyone online is pretending to be someone else, and thats true, to some extent. However, if someone isn't trying to be someone else, they are usually the closest thing to their "true" self as they get.

The pitfall to the internet, one I have experienced alot, is that distance is a terrible hinderance to a serious relationship. As the years go by, you just feel more and more pained, not being able to physically touch someone.

If you make regular meetings, this isn't as big of a problemIt's a mysterious place, and an attractive prospect if you're looking for someone, but even if you feel you met the 'real' someone , it doesn't mean things will go great...

I learned that one not long ago, when I was visited by someone I cared about, just once. After that, we grew apart because of the distance, and inability to meet enough.

enough SOB stories from me, though. Sorry.

~Detton

_____-----------------------------------------------------------------------

hmmm where oh where to begin?
my children would tell you that Mom is a computer freak ,lol but the truth is ,the net has become an escape for me from the harsh realities of the REAL world and yet it IS my REAL WORLD..
I have met some really wonderful people online and from the net to REAL -LIFE if you will..
I have been hurt abused ridiculed and made fun online and my heart was broken ad so was trust compromised but to counter all of that and instead emphasize the"good"...I have met and fallin in love for probably the 1st REAL time in my 45 years of life cause I met Artful over the NET(bows down in front of my puter) lol
traveling all over the world,getting and having access to all kinds of iformation is awesome in itself but to me,to have myheart,FINALLY fullfilled was the best thing the net has done for me personally..
yes indeed LDR'S ARE HARD and quite painful at times being apart
but thats what helps see me through it all ,letters,phone calls,and the NET..Communication is VITAL and after all thats what the Net is all about people communicating with each other,isnt it??

 

[Detton]

heh.

I know what you mean.

I am young yet (21) , but i've been online for a long time, since I was 13 or 14, nearly. I started out in IRC chats, and like a typical 13 year old, was probably quite a bastard...

I do agree, too, that the pros outweigh the cons (Most of us are here for those 'pros',right? Or on other mediums)

Strangely, i have never met anybody who was pretending to be someone else, or someone who was only pretending to be female... You get used to picking out the signs after a while, and it's really quite enjoyable.

Basically, between all of the lengthy post, my experiences have been pretty well mixxed. Ever after A number of failed relationships, I still dont give up. Am I stubborn or what? heh

~Detton

 

[WhatsHerName]

I would like to discuss how the internet has affected your relationships with others. I quite frankly find it a mysterious place, very often a romantic place. It has expanded my thinking on many levels and also has made me understand and be less judgemental of others who are not neccessarily like me. A lot of this is due to the fact that online I have met many people from many different places. The "globalness" (is that a word?) of the net makes it an exciting experience.
I would love to have you share your input and experiences on this thread.

Thank you,
Rose

The Internet in general has changed my life considerably for the better. It has helped me with finding who I am and who I want to be. I have met some wonderful people along the way. Some of them have moved on and some of them are still in my life. I have had the pleasure of meeting several people that I have met online, formed some life long friendships.

When it comes to romance on the internet, you do have to be careful...you can get more than you bargined for. I also know that you can get to know someone on a different level than people you meet on the street because all of your contact is written and thought out...some of them spur of the moment thoughts but I think that is what makes the internet unique. You can relax more and be the 'real' you in a 'virtual' world.

 

[A Desert Rose]

what you want

~~~~~~~~~~~~In regards to Detton's post and please mind you, this is strictly my opinion:

I try hard and am usually successful at keeping the 'net and my online relationships in perspective. To most, I am just a name on the screen. And to most, I don't mind being just that. Every once in a while you meet someone who "meshes" with you. I met a woman who lives in British Columbia nearly 2 yrs ago. I have since traveled there and met her IRL and she is planning a trip here this fall. We have become extremely close friends and talk every day.
Where romance is concerned, I have to keep in mind that this is what it is. Knowing full well that distance will almost always be a hinderence, if not an end all, to a lasting romantic and intimate relationship. There are exceptions to that, case in point is the lovely experience that Art and Dream have had. But in most instances, online love is what it is, in my experiences at least. I go into it with that mindset and many of you who read this will say that that is not the way to go, that it is a negative approach, but I don't believe for me that it is. In other words, I don't set any expectations on the relationship developing into a RL thing or on the man I might be involved with. I enjoy the moments that come but look to nothing past that. Now, that is not to say I would not want what Art and Dream have found, absolutely I would. I am just not looking for disappointment and failure.
It's all about knowing what this (the internet) means, understanding it's limits and being clear in your own mind, what it is you want.
Rose

 

[A Desert Rose]

Re: Re: The Mystery of the Internet

You can relax more and be the 'real' you in a 'virtual' world.

~~~~~~~~~ABSOLUTELY! Excellent thought. Thank you.
Rose

 

[~Dream~]

Re: what you want

~~~~~~~~~~~~In regards to Detton's post and please mind you, this is strictly my opinion:

I try hard and am usually successful at keeping the 'net and my online relationships in perspective. To most, I am just a name on the screen. And to most, I don't mind being just that ) Where romance is concerned, I have to keep in mind that this is what it is. Knowing full well that distance will almost always be a hinderence, if not an end all, to a lasting romantic and intimate relationship. There are exceptions to that, case in point is the lovely experience that Art and Dream have had. ...., (that is not to say I would not want what Art and Dream have found,) absolutely I would. I am just not looking for disappointment and failure.
It's all about knowing what this (the internet) means, understanding it's limits and being clear in your own mind, what it is you want.
Rose

what a wonderful post! sorry I butchered it up trying to quote you tho..
what Artful(Master) and I have found is rare..we BOTH know that
we both continue on and off the net to make it stronger but it recquires dedication on BOTH our parts ..we are a exception to the rule that meeting people online and having a lasting relationship with them--LDR-DOES WORK!!
I thank God everyday for this fact..

 

[~*sunkyssed_kym*~]

Re: the internet..

It's.. a lot different online, then it is in the Real World. Alot of people think everyone online is pretending to be someone else, and thats true, to some extent. However, if someone isn't trying to be someone else, they are usually the closest thing to their "true" self as they get.

It's alot easier to relax and be yourself without normal inhibitions like stammering or blushing getting in the way. I'm very shy offline, but the people i talk with, i'm very open to.

The pitfall to the internet, one I have experienced alot, is that distance is a terrible hinderance to a serious relationship. As the years go by, you just feel more and more pained, not being able to physically touch someone.

If you make regular meetings, this isn't as big of a problem.



~Detton

Like Detton and Artful's dream, I met MY-Sir on the net a year ago. I found his profile while looking in the British version of my server's pages. HIS profile was simply stated, but something drew me to HIM. I began emailing him and soon we were emailing and I/M-ing on a regular basis. In September of last year, HIS son I/M-ed me one day and about blew me away. HIS son told me that his father had given him my s/n. From that point on, HIS son and I chatted on a regualr basis. By October, I decided that I wanted to hear HIS and HIS son's voice. So HIS son and I set up a time for me to call. Must say that MY-Sir was skeptical at first, but as we spoke I could hear HIM warming up to the conversation. We spoke for several hours. During that time, we opened up to one another fully. I must add from the start of the relationship, we have always been open and honest with one another. In Novemeber, I decided that I was going to fly over and meet MY-Sir. After the 9-11 horror, I felt that if I wanted to live and experience life, then I had better get on with it.
Feburary found me in England looking into MY-Sir's eyes. What gorgous eyes they are!!! I was totally swept away by the depth and emotion in them. From the first time our eyes met in that airport, I knew I had found the man I had been searching for all of my life.
Yes, I will conceed it is difficult at times being so far away from HIM, and it hurts to watch other couples share their love as they stroll down the sidewalk. But would I ever give HIM up because being separated from HIM makes my heart feel as if it will break from my desire to have HIM at my side??? HELL NO!! Instead of having a pity party and thinking woe is me;I think of all of the wonderful times we have had in the past and those to come. And more wonderful times are in the very near future!!
Hope I haven't bored ya'll to tears. This subject is very dear to my heart. As HE is!


Luv ewe MY-Sir!

 

[Detton]

Just so I dont give an impression that i'm trying to point out the bad things more then the good, i just want to say, that despite everything that has happened, I wouldn't trade it in for anything.

I've met so many great people on the internet (in general; still new to here specifically )

It took me too long to think of what to say exactly, so i'll stop here while it's still coherant.

~Detton

 

[A Desert Rose]

Just so I dont give an impression that i'm trying to point out the bad things more then the good, i just want to say, that despite everything that has happened, I wouldn't trade it in for anything.

I've met so many great people on the internet (in general; still new to here specifically )

It took me too long to think of what to say exactly, so i'll stop here while it's still coherant.

~Detton

~~~~~~~~Oh please Detton, Don't stop. Your opinions are valuable to me and many others.
Rose

 

[Detton]

Thanks; I've gotten any real number of replies to any of my posts on the personals section before. I'm not sure what to do with it. Heh! I feel popular. Wish I could put up an AV now...

I can't think of anything to add to it, thinking about it for a little while, though.

Yea that picture is me. I wanted to post it somewhere, and this thread gets to be my test subjects...bwahaha. It's not nude in any way, actually i'm looking for honest apraisals. I'm working on how i look.

~Detton

 

[artful]

Det

Thanks; I've gotten any real number of replies to any of my posts on the personals section before. I'm not sure what to do with it. Heh! I feel popular. Wish I could put up an AV now...

I can't think of anything to add to it, thinking about it for a little while, though.

Yea that picture is me. I wanted to post it somewhere, and this thread gets to be my test subjects...bwahaha. It's not nude in any way, actually i'm looking for honest apraisals. I'm working on how i look.

~Detton

Said in my Fatherly tone:---->That is a great pic, ...I would recommend you post that,...or one similar, as your Avatar when you reach 100 posts.
(Gonna drive the ladies *WILD*)

Your Friend,........................Art^5's to ya!

 

[artful]

Re: Re: the internet..

Like Detton and Artful's dream, I met MY-Sir on the net a year ago. I found his profile while looking in the British version of my server's pages. HIS profile was simply stated, but something drew me to HIM. I began emailing him and soon we were emailing and I/M-ing on a regular basis. In September of last year, HIS son I/M-ed me one day and about blew me away. HIS son told me that his father had given him my s/n. From that point on, HIS son and I chatted on a regualr basis. By October, I decided that I wanted to hear HIS and HIS son's voice. So HIS son and I set up a time for me to call. Must say that MY-Sir was skeptical at first, but as we spoke I could hear HIM warming up to the conversation. We spoke for several hours. During that time, we opened up to one another fully. I must add from the start of the relationship, we have always been open and honest with one another. In Novemeber, I decided that I was going to fly over and meet MY-Sir. After the 9-11 horror, I felt that if I wanted to live and experience life, then I had better get on with it.
Feburary found me in England looking into MY-Sir's eyes. What gorgous eyes they are!!! I was totally swept away by the depth and emotion in them. From the first time our eyes met in that airport, I knew I had found the man I had been searching for all of my life.
Yes, I will conceed it is difficult at times being so far away from HIM, and it hurts to watch other couples share their love as they stroll down the sidewalk. But would I ever give HIM up because being separated from HIM makes my heart feel as if it will break from my desire to have HIM at my side??? HELL NO!! Instead of having a pity party and thinking woe is me;I think of all of the wonderful times we have had in the past and those to come. And more wonderful times are in the very near future!!
Hope I haven't bored ya'll to tears. This subject is very dear to my heart. As HE is!


Luv ewe MY-Sir!

I was so happy to read your post. I gotta say it though,...MY favorite two words were the "HELL NO!", I use them a LOT myself!

 

[TheWanderer]

My personal experience

Let me see if I can keep this just under 'published novel' length..

Around 5-6 years ago, I met a married woman in a chat room who told me she wasn't happily married, but she was contently married. We would talk regularly, found we had a lot in common. Long conversations led to a few phone calls, which led to interest, which led to us trying to meet up.

Fortunately, her job required her to travel, so we met in Phoenix (sigh of rememberence) for one amazing night. After battling the struggles of an LDR for a year, despite only meeting face to face 3 more times (once for another night in Phoenix, the other two being brutally short visits while she was on the job), we finally decided to jump in with both feet - I packed up what I could take and hopped a Greyhound for Oklahoma.

However, despite all the interests we had in each other, my circumstances had changed very drastically, and I was now living with a woman and her two daughters - both of which didn't know I was moving in! (Whoops!) Four years later, we remain best friends despite having done a lot of damage to each other in the process of discovering who we are outside of a relationship.

While I believe the Internet is the evolution of social life, it should not replace it. Get out, unplug for a while, see the world, go out on the town. And if you find someone you're interested in, take the time to get to know who they really are - not just who they are online. Realize fully the strains of relationship over distance, and keep it in mind when deciding if its realistic or not.

That's my take, anyway...

 

[Ebonyfire]

I have been online since 1986, and in the last 5 years it has served as the "Ebonyfire Dating Online Hookup Service."
I have not been in a bar since!

Eb

 

[P. B. Walker]

While I believe the Internet is the evolution of social life, it should not replace it. Get out, unplug for a while, see the world, go out on the town. And if you find someone you're interested in, take the time to get to know who they really are - not just who they are online. Realize fully the strains of relationship over distance, and keep it in mind when deciding if its realistic or not.

Great words of wisdom, TheWanderer! I couldn't have said it better if I tried.

- PBW

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: My personal experience

Let me see if I can keep this just under 'published novel' length..

Around 5-6 years ago, I met a married woman in a chat room who told me she wasn't happily married, but she was contently married. We would talk regularly, found we had a lot in common. Long conversations led to a few phone calls, which led to interest, which led to us trying to meet up.

Fortunately, her job required her to travel, so we met in Phoenix (sigh of rememberence) for one amazing night. After battling the struggles of an LDR for a year, despite only meeting face to face 3 more times (once for another night in Phoenix, the other two being brutally short visits while she was on the job), we finally decided to jump in with both feet - I packed up what I could take and hopped a Greyhound for Oklahoma.

However, despite all the interests we had in each other, my circumstances had changed very drastically, and I was now living with a woman and her two daughters - both of which didn't know I was moving in! (Whoops!) Four years later, we remain best friends despite having done a lot of damage to each other in the process of discovering who we are outside of a relationship.

While I believe the Internet is the evolution of social life, it should not replace it. Get out, unplug for a while, see the world, go out on the town. And if you find someone you're interested in, take the time to get to know who they really are - not just who they are online. Realize fully the strains of relationship over distance, and keep it in mind when deciding if its realistic or not.

That's my take, anyway...

Online does not necessarily mean long distance. Many times you can find someone who lives close by.

I met my sissy online and he lives closeby. I did have a couple of LDRs that did not work out, but so what? I have had many more relationships that started with people who were close indeed as well the fact that they started in the conventional manner. Some of them did not work out either.

Relatonships, come and some of them go. To me, it makes no difference. I just go with the flow.

Ebony

 

[A Desert Rose]

I have been online since 1986, and in the last 5 years it has served as the "Ebonyfire Dating Online Hookup Service."
I have not been in a bar since!

Eb

~~~~~~~~~~~I LOVE IT, EBONY!
Rose

 

[A Desert Rose]

Great words of wisdom, TheWanderer! I couldn't have said it better if I tried.

- PBW

~~~~~~~~Yes Mr. Walker, that is a great quote. Makes a great deal of sense too, as do you. And you know what of I speak. (wink and
Rose

 

[artful]

Online

I came online sometime in 1995, (just after windows 95 had been introduced), but I didn'y come online for social reasons. (traded stocks, and commodity options on the internet)

I didn't get social on the internet till,...ummm, I really can't remember, but I think it was maybe, 2000. Then in only a playful way, (NOT bdsm).

To this day,...I still have not participated in a "Chat Room",...per se, but there have been chat room atmospheres I 'HAVE' paticipated in. (Group discussions as might be found on Lit)

When I signed on December last year at Lit,...my intention was to write Erotic stories with the woman who first introduced me to Lit.

That didn't work out, (probably my fault), but she would never tell me why she wouldn't answer my PM's.

She is still on Lit, and I have no idea what happened,...but it may have been the fact she realised my BDSM nature.

I have taken on subs to train online prior to coming to this Forum,...but it was MOSTLY a FUN thing to do. I however took the task SERIOUSLY, ...as I truly AM a Dominate person.

I made unsuccessful attempts to write,...until I met Dream. Dream has begged me to continue my writing, but as of the moment,...I feel no real compulsion to do so.

Having found the BDSM Forum, I encouraged her to post in here and learn as much as she could about herself, her wants, needs and desires.

The rest of my online experience was playing cards, chess etc.

 

[~Dream~]

agrees with my Master

Thanks; I've gotten any real number of replies to any of my posts on the personals section before. I'm not sure what to do with it. Heh! I feel popular. Wish I could put up an AV now...

I can't think of anything to add to it, thinking about it for a little while, though.

Yea that picture is me. I wanted to post it somewhere, and this thread gets to be my test subjects...bwahaha. It's not nude in any way, actually i'm looking for honest apraisals. I'm working on how i look.

~Detton

you are very errr yummy-Looking Detton do as Master says and you wont go wrong believe me!!

 

[A Desert Rose]

Re: Online

I made unsuccessful attempts to write,...until I met Dream. Dream has begged me to continue my writing, but as of the moment,...I feel no real compulsion to do so.

The rest of my online experience was playing cards, chess etc.

~~~~~~~~~I posted a poem today on the BDSM poetry thread. If you get a chance, Art, Please read and tell me what you think.
Also, my online experiences began at games, I play backgammon and mostly tournement backgammon. Have met many fine people there. A couple of them told me about literotica several months ago. I found this forum (BDSM) right off the bat, because this is the ME I am. I also have posted one poem on the lit poem site since coming here.

Thanks to you Art and to all for posting to my thread.

Rose