KillerMuffin
Seraphically Disinclined
- Joined
- Jul 29, 2000
- Posts
- 25,603
A public service of your local health agencies.
SPECIES:
"Expectena Trouserius" also known as the common trouser snake.
LOCATION:
Throughout the world.
DESCRIPTION:
One-eyed, with mushroom-shaped head. Some types come with an extra layer of skin at the head. Color varyies from pink to black. Fangless, it has a highly venomous spit, which can reach distances up to 2-3 feet. Size varies from 3-12 inches, depending on its mood and sub-species
SYMPTOMS:
This snake attacks mainly women in the lower front abdominal area, resulting in a inconspicuous bump. Then a severe swelling followed by excruciating pain after 9 months. The attack is not usually fatal.
Beware: It has been known to attack men in the rear lower abdominal area!
HABITAT: Usually found in the bedrooms, but has been known to appear in the most unusual places.
ANTIDOTE: Various types of vaccines are available for women. Once the venom is injected into the body only drastic measures will ensure complete recovery. As of yet, there is no effective anti-venin for men.
WHAT TO DO WHEN ATTACKED:
Tourniquet: Do not apply a tourniquet as the venom is too deep in the body for this to be effective.
Cutting the wound: This would be completly unnecessary and ineffective as the bleeding will stop after a few weeks anyway.
Sucking the wound: This method is the most popular with the victim, but so far there have been no reports of success.
OBTAINING SAMPLES OF VENOM:
1. Place four fingers of the right hand around the neck of the reptile, with thumb in front.
2. Grip firmly and move the hand in an upwards and downwards motion.
3. This will result in the snake becoming highly aggressive, very rigid and start spitting.
4. The time taken for this milking process depends entirely on the milker and the last time the snake attacked.
5. Once milked, the snake should be harmless for about 20 min.
CONCLUSION: This snake, although it is very aggressive and active, is not necessarily vermin. Treated with proper respect, it makes a wonderful pet.
SPECIES:
"Expectena Trouserius" also known as the common trouser snake.
LOCATION:
Throughout the world.
DESCRIPTION:
One-eyed, with mushroom-shaped head. Some types come with an extra layer of skin at the head. Color varyies from pink to black. Fangless, it has a highly venomous spit, which can reach distances up to 2-3 feet. Size varies from 3-12 inches, depending on its mood and sub-species
SYMPTOMS:
This snake attacks mainly women in the lower front abdominal area, resulting in a inconspicuous bump. Then a severe swelling followed by excruciating pain after 9 months. The attack is not usually fatal.
Beware: It has been known to attack men in the rear lower abdominal area!
HABITAT: Usually found in the bedrooms, but has been known to appear in the most unusual places.
ANTIDOTE: Various types of vaccines are available for women. Once the venom is injected into the body only drastic measures will ensure complete recovery. As of yet, there is no effective anti-venin for men.
WHAT TO DO WHEN ATTACKED:
Tourniquet: Do not apply a tourniquet as the venom is too deep in the body for this to be effective.
Cutting the wound: This would be completly unnecessary and ineffective as the bleeding will stop after a few weeks anyway.
Sucking the wound: This method is the most popular with the victim, but so far there have been no reports of success.
OBTAINING SAMPLES OF VENOM:
1. Place four fingers of the right hand around the neck of the reptile, with thumb in front.
2. Grip firmly and move the hand in an upwards and downwards motion.
3. This will result in the snake becoming highly aggressive, very rigid and start spitting.
4. The time taken for this milking process depends entirely on the milker and the last time the snake attacked.
5. Once milked, the snake should be harmless for about 20 min.
CONCLUSION: This snake, although it is very aggressive and active, is not necessarily vermin. Treated with proper respect, it makes a wonderful pet.
