The most important aspect of a BDSM session

[Raine D8]

I have recently come to the conclusion that the the voice of a dominant is the most important aspect of a scene. There are many aspects, but without the intonation and words, there is little to submit too, particularly when blindfolded.

Although seriously ... part of the build up, and aside from action, a voice could make a person cum. If a Dominant cannot intone and use their voice to command, demand or comment to build a scene, then they are not much of a dominant in my pov.

How and what is said is utmost to me. Are tone and words important to you as a sub or dom? If yes why, and if not, what's most important to you?

 

[Chicklet]

How and what is said is utmost to me. Are tone and words important to you as a sub or dom? If yes why, and if not, what's most important to you?

The tone of my more recent lover's voice, during any type of play or sex, can really, really turn me on. I don't know if it's the most important, but I definitely understand what you're saying. The way he phrases words, sometimes, or the way he says them... the way his voice makes my body vibrate... mm. It's the stuff that fills my fantasies Not necessarily just BDSM related, but the whole sexual part of our relationship. Tasty.

 

[Raine D8]

The tone of my more recent lover's voice, during any type of play or sex, can really, really turn me on. I don't know if it's the most important, but I definitely understand what you're saying. The way he phrases words, sometimes, or the way he says them... the way his voice makes my body vibrate... mm. It's the stuff that fills my fantasies Not necessarily just BDSM related, but the whole sexual part of our relationship. Tasty.

Thank you for understanding. I think often, like in music -a voice impacts more emotionally then an action, and reverberates in our memory as does music in many ways. It is not ALL that happens, but a powerful part of a BDSM scene, and obviously for you, an everyday anticipation and experience.

 

[FurryFury]

Thank you for understanding. I think often, like in music -a voice impacts more emotionally then an action, and reverberates in our memory as does music in many ways. It is not ALL that happens, but a powerful part of a BDSM scene, and obviously for you, an everyday anticipation and experience.

Niiiice av!

I will let you know about voice if I ever have a Dom to report back on. I have a "thing" about voices and what you say makes sense to me though.

Fury

 

[graceanne]

I'm big on voices. K's got a sexy voice. lol

Canadian Cutie was telling me, the other day, that if the dom has a great voice and a not so great face she'll take him over the one who's great looking but doesn't have a sexy voice. After all, she's hopefully going to be blindfolded most of the time.

I think that I've heard others say the same thing.

btw - Betticus has a great voice.

 

[landcruisergal]

on voices, do you think garrison keillor is a top, if so pass me a blindfold.
Intensity.This can be verbal or non verbal.
In his all his actions and words, a dom has to somehow give me the impression that he is excited and/or aroused in some way by what he is doing, or making me do.
He could say " bend over and display yourself to me" or " bend over my slut, and show me your hungry pussy" or "simply bend over bitch".
They can all be said, ad nauseum, but I need to hear the intensity in his words; to know he wants to see me do it.
I cant really explain it better than that.
His hands gripping spreading my legs and pushing me down has the same effect. If he just guided me into position, I wouldn't be half as turned on.
I want to feel his need maybe? Thats sounds so very parasitic.Ouch.

 

[Blushing Bottom]

The spoken word being the most powerful communication tool we have, wouldn't it stand to reason that a Dom if skilled in voice control and has the right timbre can indeed elicit all sorts of responses in his sub. Even that of sponteanous orgasm.

I, myself like nothing better than to hear in a soft yet deep, controlled voice, "I'm going to....and then I'm going to," or "you will...." A feast for the senses if one considers it carefully more than sound comes to play here.

So I agree the voice gets my vote as well.

"...long time waiting to hear the sound. I still remember the dream there. I still remember the time...."

I have recently come to the conclusion that the the voice of a dominant is the most important aspect of a scene. There are many aspects, but without the intonation and words, there is little to submit too, particularly when blindfolded.

Although seriously ... part of the build up, and aside from action, a voice could make a person cum. If a Dominant cannot intone and use their voice to command, demand or comment to build a scene, then they are not much of a dominant in my pov.

How and what is said is utmost to me. Are tone and words important to you as a sub or dom? If yes why, and if not, what's most important to you?

 

[alice_underneath]

btw - Betticus has a great voice.

*raises eyebrows*

Really?

I'm sure he'll appreciate the plug!

 

[Chicklet]

I want to feel his need maybe? Thats sounds so very parasitic.Ouch.

for me, it's hard to wrap my mind around someone having the opposite needs as me. I totally understand my own desires, but much like mr SeanH I can't really understand what the dom gets out of it. At one level, I'm pretty scared that they're *not* enjoying what they're doing to me. I've had boyfriends who did these things just because I liked it, and that's just not enough.

So I totally understand the need to feel the PYL's desire in the scene. Doesn't seem parasitic to me. If he didn't want to be able to see my need, I might be scared.

 

[Red Sonja]

for me, it's hard to wrap my mind around someone having the opposite needs as me. I totally understand my own desires, but much like mr SeanH I can't really understand what the dom gets out of it. At one level, I'm pretty scared that they're *not* enjoying what they're doing to me. I've had boyfriends who did these things just because I liked it, and that's just not enough.

So I totally understand the need to feel the PYL's desire in the scene. Doesn't seem parasitic to me. If he didn't want to be able to see my need, I might be scared.

I am right there with you on that, my friend! Nothing would be less satisfying than knowing my guy was wailing on my ass (so to speak) just to make me happy. I would be very sad.

It is such a turn on for me to know that he needs to hurt me as much as I need to be hurt.

 

[Red Sonja]

Voices. Yep, I am into them. My hubby has a fantastic voice. The tone, the timbre, *melts*. Added to that his stories are wonderful. You heard me right, he tells me "bedtime stories" during foreplay, etc. The combination is mindblowing.

Anybody else do that? Or have a partner who does that?

 

[LadyAria]

I have recently come to the conclusion that the the voice of a dominant is the most important aspect of a scene. There are many aspects, but without the intonation and words, there is little to submit too, particularly when blindfolded.

Although seriously ... part of the build up, and aside from action, a voice could make a person cum. If a Dominant cannot intone and use their voice to command, demand or comment to build a scene, then they are not much of a dominant in my pov.

How and what is said is utmost to me. Are tone and words important to you as a sub or dom? If yes why, and if not, what's most important to you?

A well trained voice is a beautiful thing. It's always there regardless of how the scene changes. Yes, I agree it is paramount to me.

 

[Aithne123]

I totally agree, just hearing my Master's voice can make me all tingly inside. My Master has a different voice for when he means business too, if we're just talking he has one voice, but when he's giving me orders, etc his voice changes. It's deeper, more even toned, and I love it! *sigh*... I miss hearing it!
Aithne

 

[jadefirefly]

My SO has a beautiful voice, much as he'd deny it. I tell him that between his voice and his eyes, he can pretty much turn my knees to jell-o in less than 30 seconds.

And this must be why I could never make a decent Domme, even if I wanted to -- my voice is awful. It used to be too high and squeaky, and then I caught a profusion of colds, mixed with smoking clove cigarettes, and now, to me at least, it sounds like I've got a permanent cold.

(SO, on the other hand, claims it's sexy. So I don't complain too much. )

 

[catalina_francisco]

Voices. Yep, I am into them. My hubby has a fantastic voice. The tone, the timbre, *melts*. Added to that his stories are wonderful. You heard me right, he tells me "bedtime stories" during foreplay, etc. The combination is mindblowing.

Anybody else do that? Or have a partner who does that?

LOL, yes, he has a wonderful way of spinning fantasies during foreplay which turn the heat up....and combined with his voice and accent, it gets me to melting point and then some. Have to say though, as much as his voice does it for me, I'm not sure I can say it is the most important aspect of a session as nothing works well in isolation and there are so many touches he can add to make it exceptional, with or without speaking as the mood fits.

Catalina

 

[Hecate]

Interesting discussion indeed!

While I agree that voice and words are awesome aphrodisiacs, I have to confess to being rather the "quiet" kind myself when playing hard.

I find it sometimes quite "distracting" to keep a sub "entertained" by words when trying something new or something that requires my full attention. At times it takes away from me fully enjoying the play whern I have to split my attention between story-telling and action.

Though I have been told lately that my wicked chuckle / laughter as I fully enjoy the torment I administer is making up for any vision my elaborate words might create ...

 

[catalina_francisco]

Interesting discussion indeed!

While I agree that voice and words are awesome aphrodisiacs, I have to confess to being rather the "quiet" kind myself when playing hard.

I find it sometimes quite "distracting" to keep a sub "entertained" by words when trying something new or something that requires my full attention. At times it takes away from me fully enjoying the play whern I have to split my attention between story-telling and action.

Though I have been told lately that my wicked chuckle / laughter as I fully enjoy the torment I administer is making up for any vision my elaborate words might create ...

LOL, when I have topped, it has been my 'evil chuckle' that has added that extra chill factor. And you said it better than I about use of voice.....he spins stories sometimes when we have sexusl foreplay, but during a scene, words are a minimum and only for instruction or orders, the rest is usually managed without words, and in my thoughts, more chilling for it. As you say, noise such as talking and even music for me, takes away the attention....music also interferes with my hearing as I have hearing issues these days, so silence is good.

Catalina

 

[Red Sonja]

LOL, yes, he has a wonderful way of spinning fantasies during foreplay which turn the heat up....and combined with his voice and accent, it gets me to melting point and then some. Have to say though, as much as his voice does it for me, I'm not sure I can say it is the most important aspect of a session as nothing works well in isolation and there are so many touches he can add to make it exceptional, with or without speaking as the mood fits.

Catalina

And that also is true. Nothing, however, gets me as hot and bothered as him telling me exactly what he is going to do with me... and then having him do it.

I don't know if its the voice, or the fact that ultimately the brain is the biggest sexual organ or what... but that is amazing. Especially if he or I am away on business and he keeps reminding me what will happen when I return... *sigh*

But you are right without the touch afterwards... I don't know, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't get off.

What I like about the stories, words etc., is it shuts my stupid brain up and lets me concentrate on something else. It helps me just focus on the sensations and not get distracted by the inevitable oh shit moments.

 

[Betticus]

btw - Betticus has a great voice.

Oh! Hehehehehehee....

 

[lne_iii]

I consider talking to one another, and of course the tones/words used to be a big part of this whole thing. I believe that alot of domination/submission is more mental than physical. As such, I constantly speak to her when we are playing, and now that you mention it...my tone of voice/way I speak to her does change.

When it's playtime, I simply give commands, and sometimes reassurance if needed. A bit of teasing really, a vocal/mental tease added to the physical one usually has her begging properly before too long.

 

[Betticus]

Voices. Yep, I am into them. My hubby has a fantastic voice. The tone, the timbre, *melts*. Added to that his stories are wonderful. You heard me right, he tells me "bedtime stories" during foreplay, etc. The combination is mindblowing.

Anybody else do that? Or have a partner who does that?

I love to tell "bedtime" stories.

On my recent trip to Colorado I was having lunch with my friend I was staying with and his girlfriend/fiancee. My other pal called me, the one that was dj'ing the night before in a club we were at and I was talking about the music.

I was remembering the music and dancing with the girls and somehow slipped into my space, my voice changed. The tone, timbre and pace changed as I was listening to the memory of the music in my mind. It is much the same kind of thing as when I'm talking to a lover. Anyway, she said that it was amazing how much feeling could be conveyed by that change in voice.

 

[graceanne]

Interesting discussion indeed!

While I agree that voice and words are awesome aphrodisiacs, I have to confess to being rather the "quiet" kind myself when playing hard.

I find it sometimes quite "distracting" to keep a sub "entertained" by words when trying something new or something that requires my full attention. At times it takes away from me fully enjoying the play whern I have to split my attention between story-telling and action.

Though I have been told lately that my wicked chuckle / laughter as I fully enjoy the torment I administer is making up for any vision my elaborate words might create ...

I'm not into talking during play or sex. It gives me the gigggles. I still like K's voice.

 

[BeachGurl2]

I agree that voice is important, especially when blindfolded. The tone, inflection, volume, and definitely what's being said and the way things are phrased. Being able to "hear" what he's feeling, guiding and leading with his voice. Knowing how turned on he is just by the tone or volume of his voice. Yep, works for me.

 

[graceanne]

Oh! Hehehehehehee....

ROFLMAO

 

[FurryFury]

While I adore good "voice," I must say a constant stream of talk would probably bother me after a while. I'd likely want to tell them to just shut up and fuck or whatever else we were doing.

Talk is lovely for before, a little during and if they can stay awake, some later maybe but damn we got stuff to do Sugah! Shh. . .

Fury