The Monkey Story

[JohnnySavage]

Just because I was thinking about the monkey story today:

One time, back in about 1982, I was living in London. I had a buddy... I can't remember what his name was, let's call him Davey. Davey was England's version of a country bumpkin.

Well, Davey and I went into this bar/theater and they had a big cage set up. The deal was that anyone who could stay in the cage with this little monkey for 3 minutes could drink for free all night.

Well... Davey was a big, dull witted guy and he took one look at that little monkey and figured it was an easy bet. So he took off his shirt and climbed in the cage. The crowed gathered round, and the MC asked Davey if he was sure about this. Davey laughed and said, "yup"

The cage was shut and a guy put the monkey in the cage from a little door across the way from Davey.

That monkey looked at Davey, and Davey looked at that monkey, and it was on like donkey kong.

The monkey screamed at Davey and Davey screamed at the monkey. The monkey took off across that cage like its ass was on fire and jumped on Davey's head.

It was tiny fists and elbows like a blur. That damned Davey was screaming like someone was standing on his nuts and the monkey continued to just beat the hell out of him.

After about 30 seconds the guy blew a whistle and that monkey turned loose of Davey's ears and went back to the little door, and got out of the cage.

Davey staggered out his door, sat down at the table with a bloody nose, and cherry red ears, took a drink of his beer, and said, "Damn, that monkey was mean!"

It was quite a hoot.

 

[XdOu™]

i like monkeys

 

[blobfish]

I call bullshit.

 

[Tryharder62]

I thought it would be about Squibbs.

 

[warrior queen]

I nearly bought a monkey once.
In Mauritius, this guy came down to the harbour with a tiny little monkey wearing a nappy on his shoulder, and offered it to us for R100 (about $3 at that time).
The only thing that stopped me was knowing I couldn't take it to many of the countries we planned to sail to.
But I was torn.... the poor thing looked like it needed rescueing

 

[glynndah]

My husband's family tells a monkey story but it's not suitable for mixed company.

 

[XdOu™]

*does the monkey dance* lol

 

[doctor_insanus]

I was sure there would be spanking in this thread.

 

[KRCummings]

Do you know the little monkey who dips his balls in my scotch?

No, but if you hum a few bars I can fake it.

 

[KRCummings]

And I'm pretty sure the monkey story is bullshit. No way was there a guy named Davey.

 

[IndieSnob]

Do you know the little monkey who dips his balls in my scotch?

No, but if you hum a few bars I can fake it.

Davy Jones.

Christ you're stupid for being a guy.

 

[KRCummings]

Davy Jones.

Christ you're stupid for being a guy.

You quoted the wrong post and call me stupid?

 

[JohnnySavage]

And I'm pretty sure the monkey story is bullshit. No way was there a guy named Davey.

I'm still laughing about this story.

Another time Davey picked up a hooker in Barcelona and when he reached down her pants, she had a bigger dick then he did. Good times.

 

[KRCummings]

I'm still laughing about this story.

Another time Davey picked up a hooker in Barcelona and when he reached down her pants, she had a bigger dick then he did. Good times.

So you're saying that "Davey" is actually Johnny. Got it.

 

[IndieSnob]

You quoted the wrong post and call me stupid?

Yes.

This is the internet after all.

 

[JohnnySavage]

So you're saying that "Davey" is actually Johnny. Got it.

I told you in the op I didn't remember the guy's name. Stop busting my balls.

I suspect it was some common gay brit name, like mortimer or sean.

 

[KRCummings]

I told you in the op I didn't remember the guy's name. Stop busting my balls.

I suspect it was some common gay brit name, like mortimer or sean.

Wesley Wellington Wadsworth III

 

[JohnnySavage]

Wesley Wellington Wadsworth III

We called him three dub, three

 

[blobfish]

Nigel.

 

[JohnnySavage]

I don't remember much of the 80s because I was a drinker back then, but for some reason I remember the monkey story like it was yesterday.

 

[blobfish]

I don't remember much of the 80s because I was a drinker back then, but for some reason I remember the monkey story like it was yesterday.

Probably because that's when you made it up.