The Mom Thread ...

[tonitits]

Great thread, Cookie!!

I always say "I love you".... to my daughter as she gets out of the car every morning and even to my mom each time we say goodbye on the phone!! I say it because I mean it and because you never know when the last time you'll have the chance. I want there to be no doubt!!

I say "thank you" alot, too! Because I AM so thankful for what I have!!

Hugs and roses for all the Moms!!!

LizA

I do the same thing,I am always telling Daniel that I love him. Not just when dropping him off or when he gets home, but we can even be watching tv and I will tell him and he does the same, just not as much so. When mom was alive she would usually say it first. I was grateful that we were able to talk the night before she died and we told each other that we loved each other and she told me that she would see me the next day. But it was not meant to be. My mom never felt really loved by her mom. She knew that her dad loved her, but he died when I was 3. And she always told us, and like Daniel, alot of times we thought maybe a little too much. But looking back we always knew she loved us and put up with alot to take up for us. I just hope that when he gets grown, he realizes and remembers the sacrifices and all the things that I do for him. I think he will. I hope so.

 

[Curious_Fem]

I hear you, C_F, a hug or an "I love you" from the older teens is a major event... mine are 21 and 12 now. They think they don't need them as they get older, but what about us moms? I still need those things from them, lol... *remembers how sweet they were when they were little* ~sigh~

When I took my son to the airport to go back to college, he gave me a kiss on the cheek as I hugged him goodbye. I almost fell over!

Oh that is wonderful Arden, I know I would have cried! My 2 youngest (boy, 8 and girl, 5) both tell me they love me every day, more than once and it never fails to put a smile on my face.

Don't feel bad toni, my kids think money grows on trees too...but now that I think about it, I thought the same thing when I was a kid too.

NCguy, thanks for the salute. for being so sweet.

Handing all mothers and mothers to be as many s as they would like.

I've heard women say that being a mother is a thankless job. I don't understand that for one minute....just seeing them smile at me or tell me they love me is all the thanks I need. It is truly a blessing.

 

[pogogirl]

I just became a mother on May 1 of this year. I am just learning but I love being a mom. It is hard work. The best thing in the world to hear is my 6 month old son's giggle when we play. So this year on Thanksgiving I am greatful for my son.

 

[Ms_Kat]

Great thread! Love the dictionary!


Hugs,


Kat

 

[SecretScribe]

To all the Moms, here at Lit and everywhere. Mothers are amazing people ...

 

[cookiejar]

Q & A for Pregnant Women

Q. What is the most common pregnancy craving?
A. For men to be the ones who get pregnant.

Q. My husband and I are very attractive. I'm sure our baby will be beautiful enough for commercials. Whom should I contact about this?
A. Your therapist.

Q. I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A. With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q. How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?
A. If it's the flu, you'll get better.

Q. My brother tells me that since my husband has a big nose, and genes for big noses are dominant, my baby will have a big nose as well. Is this true?
A. The odds are greater that your brother will have a fat lip.

Q. Since I became pregnant, My breasts, rear end, and even my feet have grown. Is there anything that gets smaller during pregnancy?
A. Yes, your bladder.

Q. The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me. Why?
A. Because you're fatter then they are.

Q. Will I love my dog less when the baby is born?
A. No, but your husband might get on your nerves.

Q. What's the difference between a nine-months pregnant woman and a Playboy centerfold?
A. Nothing, if the pregnant woman's husband knows what's good for him.

Q. My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A. Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q. When is the best time to get an epidural?
A. Right after you find out your pregnant.

Q. I'm modest. Once I'm in the hospital to deliver, who will see me in that delicate position?
A. Authorized personnel only---doctors, nurses, orderlies, photographers, florists, cleaning crews, journalists, etc.

Q. Does labor cause hemorrhoids?
A. Labor causes anything you want to blame it for.

Q. Where is the best place to store breast milk?
A. In your breasts.

Q. Is there a safe alternative to breast pumps?
A. Yes, baby lips.

Q. How does one sanitize nipples?
A. Bathe daily and wear a clean bra. It beats boiling them in a saucepan.

Q. What are the terrible twos?
A. Your breasts after baby stops nursing cold turkey.

Q. What is the grasp reflex?
A. The reaction of new father's when he sees new mother's breasts.

Q. Can a mother get pregnant while nursing?
A. Yes, but it's much easier if she removes the baby from her breast and puts him to sleep first.

Q. What happens to disposable diapers after they're thrown away?
A. They are stored in a silo in the Midwest, in the event of global chemical warfare.

Q. What causes baby blues?
A. Tanned, hard-bodied bimbos.

Q. What is colic?
A. A reminder for new parents to use birth control.

 

[redelicious]

Q & A for Pregnant Women

lol, yep.

 

[tonitits]

Good morning Moms. Hope you have a great week. Take care. Make sure that you have your valium handy! lol. I used to want that as a kid during the holidays, so many relatives, cousins, etc....

 

[rosylady]

http://wtv-zone.com/emma/mom/gifs/bird.gif

 

[rosylady]

Moms everyday...http://www.quickkeys.com/moms-refuge.jpg

 

[Guest]

The following are different answers given by elementary school-age
children to the given question:

Why did God make mothers?
1.-She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2.-Think about it, it was the best way to get more people.
3.-Mostly to clean the house.
4.-To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1.- He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2.- Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3.- God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1.- We're related.
2.- God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me
3.- he didn't want her to be lonely

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1- God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2.-They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string. I think.
3.- Not my dad's rib cuz he's got all of his.

What kind of little girl was your mom?
1.- My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2.- I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3.- They say she used to be nice.

How did your mom meet your dad?
1.- Mom was working in a store and dad was shoplifting.
2. -Mom was on a street and dad pinched her bottom to get her
attention.
3. Probably when they were on probation.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1.- His last name.
2.- She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer? Does he make at least $80,000 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores.

Why did your mom marry your dad?
1.- My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.
2.- She got too old to do anything else with him.
3.- My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

What makes a real woman?
1.- It means you have to be really bossy without looking bossy.
2.- I don't know, but I bet my dad does.

Who's the boss at your house?
1.- Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dads such a goofball.
2.- Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3 - I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between moms and dads?
1.- Moms work at work and work at home, and dads just got to work at
work.
2.- Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3.- Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you gotta ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.

What does your mom do in her spare time?
1.- Mothers don't do spare time.
2.-To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
3.- Dad says she eats bonbons.

What's the difference between moms and grandmas?
1.- About 30 years.
2.- You can always count on grandmothers for candy.
3. Grandmas don't care if your bad, they love you anyway.

Describe the world's greatest mom?
1.- She would make broccoli taste like ice cream!
2.- The greatest mom in the world wouldn't make me kiss my fat aunts!
3.- She'd always be smiling and keep her opinions to herself.

Is anything about your mom perfect?
1.- Her teeth are perfect, but she bought them from the dentist.
2.- Her casserole recipes. But we hate them.
3.- Just her children

What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1.- On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2.- Diet. You know, her hair. I'd dye-it, maybe blue.
3.- Money, then she wouldn't have to pay bills all day long.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1.- She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2.- I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3.- I wouldn't let her have any more kids becuz she said I was a hand full.

God Bless all Moms EVERYWHERE!

 

[cookiejar]

Five Benefits of Mothers Milk

A young medical student is given his final examination on human reproduction.

After reading Question 1; "Give five reasons why a mother's milk is better than a cows milk for a newborn baby?"; he recalled four and quickly wrote them down in his exam book.

1. A mother's milk is more nutritious; it contains better balance of fats, carbohydrates and proteins for the newborn;

2. A mothers milk contains a mix of vitamins that more closely aligns to a human baby's needs.

3. A mothers milk contains immunological agents that will help the newborn fight bacteria, viruses and other infections.

4. Breast feeding is more nurturing and better developmentally for the child. Stumped, frustrated and running out of time, he searched his mind for a fifth reason. After pondering the question for an agonizing five minutes, he quickly scribbled a fifth response:

5. The milk is delivered in a warm and "really cute" cup.

He got an "A" on the exam.

 

[omahaman2]

Naw, don't blush.. it just reminded me of somethings my mom sometimes "prolly" meant, lol...

Like: 'Do you think money grows on trees?'

http://www.visualparadox.com/images/no-linking-allowed/moneytree.jpg

just kidding

 

[1sexylady]

Yep it is hard alright....

 

[cookiejar]

You Know You're A Mom When...

Your feet stick to grape jelly on the kitchen floor..... and you don't care.

When the kids are fighting, you threaten to lock them in a
room together and not let them out until someone's bleeding.

You can't find your cordless phone, so you ask a friend to
call you, and you run around the house madly, following the
sound until you locate the phone downstairs in the laundry basket.

Your idea of a good day is making it through without a child leaking bodily fluids on you.

Popsicles become a food staple.




Your favorite television show is a cartoon.

You're willing to kiss your child's boo-boo, regardless of what body part it happens to be on.

You're so desperate for adult conversation that you spill
your guts to the telemarketer that calls and HE hangs up on YOU!

Spit is your number one cleaning agent.

You buy cereal with marshmallows in it.

You count the sprinkles on each kid's cupcake to make sure they're equal.

You have time to shave only one leg at a time.

You hide in the bathroom to be alone.

Your kid throws up and you catch it.

You cling to the high moral ground on toy weapons; but your
child chews his toast into the shape of a gun anyway.




You find yourself cutting your husband's sandwiches into cute shapes.

You're up each night until 11 PM vacuuming, dusting, wiping,
washing, drying, loading, unloading, shopping, cooking,
driving, flushing, ironing, sweeping, picking up, changing
sheets, changing diapers, bathing, helping with homework,
paying bills, budgeting, clipping coupons, folding clothes,
putting to bed, dragging out of bed, brushing, chasing,
buckling, feeding (them, NOT you), PLUS swinging, playing
baseball, bike riding, pushing trucks, cuddling dolls,
rollerblading, basketball, football, catch, bubbles,
sprinklers, slides, nature walks, coloring, crafts, jumping
rope, PLUS raking, trimming, planting, edging, mowing,
gardening, painting, and walking the dog. You get up at
5:30 AM and you have no time to eat, sleep, drink or go
to the bathroom, and yet ... you still managed to gain 10 pounds.

 

[rosylady]

http://www.angelfire.com/ny4/KevsGifsGalore/ChristmasGifs/sg-red-green-bells.gif to all the Mom's.

 

[tonitits]

Bump

 

[omahaman2]

Dear Santa,

I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned, and cuddled my
two children on demand, visited their doctor's office more than my
doctor, sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant
a shade tree on the school playground, and figured out how to
attach nine patches onto my daughter's girl scout sash with
staples and a glue gun.

I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases,
since I had to write this letter with my son's red crayon, on the
back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who
knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next 18 years.

Here are my Christmas wishes: I'd like a pair of legs that don't
ache after a day of chasing kids (in any color, except purple,
which I already have) and arms that don't flap in the breeze, but
are strong enough to carry a screaming toddler out of the candy
aisle in the grocery store. I'd also like a waist, since I lost
mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last pregnancy.

If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like a car with
fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult
music; a television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing
talking animals; and a refrigerator with a secret compartment
behind the crisper where I can hide when I want to talk on the
phone.

On the practical side, I could use a talking daughter doll that
says, "Yes, Mommy" to boost my parental confidence, along with one
potty-trained toddler, two kids who don't fight, and three pairs of
jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools.
I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting, "Don't eat
in the living room", "Take your shoes off the couch," and 'Take
your hands off your brother/sister," because my voice seems to be
just out of my children's hearing range and can only be heard by
the dog.

And please don't forget the Playdoh Travel Pack, the stocking
stuffer this year for mothers of preschoolers. It comes in three
fluorescent colors and is guaranteed to crumble on any carpet
making the In-laws' house seem just like mine.

If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for
enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same
morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature
without it being served in a Styrofoam container.

If you don't mind I could also use a few Christmas miracles to
brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to
declare ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my conscience
immensely. It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to
help around the house without demanding payment as if they were
the bosses of an organized crime family; or if my toddler didn't
look so cute sneaking downstairs to eat contraband ice cream in
his pajamas at midnight.

Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing and my son saw my
feet under the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back.

Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the
chimney and come in and dry off by the fire so you don't catch
cold. Help yourself to cookies on the table, but don't eat too
many or leave crumbs on the carpet.

Yours Always,
Mom

PS One more thing...you can cancel all my requests if you can keep
my children young enough to believe in you.

 

[cookiejar]

Tips for Moms...

SECRET TIP 1: DOOR LOCKS
If a room clearly can't be whipped into shape in 30 days, much less 30 minutes, employ the Locked Door Method of cleaning. Tell anyone who tries to go in the room that you accidentally locked the door and can't find the key. Of course, the locksmith can't possibly come until tomorrow. CAUTION: It is not advisable to use this tip for the bathroom.
Time: 2 seconds


SECRET TIP 2: DUCT TAPE
No home should be without an ample supply. Not only is it handy for plumbing repairs, but it's a great way to hem drapes, tablecloths, clothes, just about anything. No muss, no fuss.
Time: 2-3 minutes


SECRET TIP 3: OVENS
If you think ovens are just for baking, think again. Ovens represent at least 9 cubic feet of hidden storage space, which means they're a great place to shove dirty dishes, dirty clothes, or just about anything you want to get out of sight when company's coming.
Time: 2 minutes


SECRET TIP 4: CLOTHES DRYERS
Like Secret Tip 3, except bigger. CAUTION: Avoid hiding flammable objects here.
Time: 2.5 minutes


SECRET TIP 5: WASHING MACHINES & FREEZERS
Like Secret Tip 4, except even bigger.
Time: 3 minutes


SECRET TIP 6: DUST RUFFLES
No bed should be without one. Devotees of Martha Stewart believe dust ruffles exist to keep dust out from under a bed or to help coordinate the colorful look of a bedroom. The rest of us know a dust ruffle's highest and best use is to hide whatever you've managed to shove under the bed. (Refer to Secret Tips 3, 4, 5.)
Time: 4 minutes

 

[cookiejar]

Tips for Moms...

SECRET TIP 7: DUSTING
The 30-Minutes-To-A-Clean-House method says: Never dust under what you can dust around.
Time: 3 minutes


SECRET TIP 8: DISHES
Don't use them. Use plastic or paper plates and you won't have to.
Time: 1 minute


SECRET TIP 9: CLOTHES WASHING (EEWWW)
This secret tip is brought to you by an inventive teenager. When this teen's mother went on a housekeeping strike for a month, the teen discovered you can extend the life of your underwear by two ...if you turn it wrong side out and, yes, rerun it. CAUTION: This tip is recommended only for teens and those who don't care if they get in a car wreck.
Time: 3 seconds


SECRET TIP 10: IRONING
If an article of clothing doesn't require a full press and your hair does, a curling iron is the answer. In between curling your hair, use the hot wand to iron minor wrinkles out of your clothes. Yes, it really does work, or so I'm told, by other disciples of the 30-Minutes-To-A-Clean-House philosophy.
Time: 5 minutes (including curling your hair)


SECRET TIP 11: VACUUMING
Stick to the middle of the room, which is the only place people look. Don't bother vacuuming under furniture. It takes way too long and no one looks there anyway.
Time: 5 minutes, entire house; 2 minutes, living room only


SECRET TIP 12: LIGHTING
The key here is low, low, and lower. It's not only romantic, but bad lighting can hide a multitude of dirt.
Time: 10 seconds


SECRET TIP 13: BED MAKING
Get an old-fashioned waterbed. No one can tell if those things are made up or not, saving you, oh, hundreds of seconds over the course of a lifetime.
Time: 0


SECRET TIP 14: SHOWERS, TOILETS, AND SINKS
Forget one and two. Concentrate on three.
Time: 1 minute


SECRET TIP 15:
If you already knew at least 10 of these tips, don't even think about inviting a Martha Stewart type to your home.

 

[Dirty_Angel26]

This is a great thread. I am a mom to a wonderful three year old boy. Wouldn't trade him for anything

 

[Dirty_Angel26]

bump

 

[Dirty_Angel26]

bump again

 

[Dirty_Angel26]

and again

 

[Dirty_Angel26]

once more