SpaceToast
Really Really Experienced
- Joined
- Mar 2, 2002
- Posts
- 309
The following things have been pissing me off lately. These are likely not the largest problems in my life.
-Proximity-activated hand driers with cutoff timers. My hands are dry when I take them out of the beam of light. Not before then. What, am I just going to stay there warming my hands until I get a hard-on? If you're not going to use the light beam then give me my big fucking button back. All this because some slick business asshole convinced the tai-pan of the bathroom at my local food court that he'd save 13 cents per quarter if the hand driers all shut themselves off after a certain length of time. Who gives up when their hands aren't dry yet? I don't. Show of hands? I didn't think so.
-The phrase "excuse me" being used to express displeasure. Look, I know you had a long afternoon at the Foundation kissing Michael Douglass's ass long distance to LA, but at the supermarket your cart is no more important than mine. If I need to decide between Irish Spring and Zest, you can wait for the people coming the other way down the aisle to get by and then go the fuck around me. I hope your subdivision is a cancer pocket.
-Watching kids bully each other. Wouldn't it be fun to just wrap one of those little pukes around a hand bar on the subway? You know in fifth grade you just gritted your teeth and toughed it out. Yeah you did. Now your a big dude who works out at a gym. Why shouldn't you be allowed to knock one of these punks into the floor until his braces fly out... and in doing so teach him a valuable lesson about how to treat people. You know, when he wakes up at the hospital.
-Rallys with no distinct purpose. It's not difficult to mobilize every looney and college-neo-hippy-living-off-dad's-motivational-lecture-income in Boston. It doesn't make what they're saying any smarter. It just means a couple cars are going to get burned out. Oh wait, I like that last part.
-The average cel phone conversation. Here's how it goes: "I'm at (x). I'm going to be at (your position, y) soon. How are you?" Can't you just send your digital pet to tell him where you are? God damn it technology, converge.
That's all for now-
-M@
-Proximity-activated hand driers with cutoff timers. My hands are dry when I take them out of the beam of light. Not before then. What, am I just going to stay there warming my hands until I get a hard-on? If you're not going to use the light beam then give me my big fucking button back. All this because some slick business asshole convinced the tai-pan of the bathroom at my local food court that he'd save 13 cents per quarter if the hand driers all shut themselves off after a certain length of time. Who gives up when their hands aren't dry yet? I don't. Show of hands? I didn't think so.
-The phrase "excuse me" being used to express displeasure. Look, I know you had a long afternoon at the Foundation kissing Michael Douglass's ass long distance to LA, but at the supermarket your cart is no more important than mine. If I need to decide between Irish Spring and Zest, you can wait for the people coming the other way down the aisle to get by and then go the fuck around me. I hope your subdivision is a cancer pocket.
-Watching kids bully each other. Wouldn't it be fun to just wrap one of those little pukes around a hand bar on the subway? You know in fifth grade you just gritted your teeth and toughed it out. Yeah you did. Now your a big dude who works out at a gym. Why shouldn't you be allowed to knock one of these punks into the floor until his braces fly out... and in doing so teach him a valuable lesson about how to treat people. You know, when he wakes up at the hospital.
-Rallys with no distinct purpose. It's not difficult to mobilize every looney and college-neo-hippy-living-off-dad's-motivational-lecture-income in Boston. It doesn't make what they're saying any smarter. It just means a couple cars are going to get burned out. Oh wait, I like that last part.
-The average cel phone conversation. Here's how it goes: "I'm at (x). I'm going to be at (your position, y) soon. How are you?" Can't you just send your digital pet to tell him where you are? God damn it technology, converge.
That's all for now-
-M@
You make an interesting point.
