The Melting Of Us.

[Ameas]

Poem.
not to good at writing, but let me know what you think.

Dancing Entwined in dark velvet,
Oh, exctasy.
The tips of your fingers dancing my neck,
tracing the outline of my lips.

Kisses smothered in coarse breath.
Whispers of fantasies,
tumbling across the melting air.

Our sonnet of pleasure,
words mixed with sweat
dripping from the thin air between us.

The sharp hint of your purfume,
feeding the hunger within,
bitting at my inhibitions,
melting in the heat of our dance.

 

[Guest]

I'm meltiiiiing! I'm meltiiiiing!

 

[Ameas]

Is that a good thing?

 

[Guest]

I don't know. It was a visual gag.

 

[Ameas]

i dont get the term visual gag.

sorry

 

[aftershox]

visual gag from The Wizard of OZ

visual gag from The Wizard of OZ.

Wicked witch of the west after Dorothy pours water.

The visual gag is the humor of it/

 

[Ameas]

oh...
So your mocking it?

yea.. im nto that great.. just something i like to do.

 

[WickedEve]

oh...
So your mocking it?

yea.. im nto that great.. just something i like to do.

I think he's just having fun with the title.
Is your poem a first effort or have you written more?
The best advice I can give you is to continue writing and be sure to read a wide variety of poetry. Also, learn from constructive feedback, and read through some of the "poetry" threads--skip threads with the word ass in the title.

 

[Ameas]

Thank you eve.
That names oddly farmilliar,
I knew someone.. a while ago taught me alot about art with the same handle.
hm.

anyway thank you, it's not my first POEM just the first erotic one.



thanks again.

*kiss*

 

[WickedEve]

Thank you eve.
That names oddly farmilliar,
I knew someone.. a while ago taught me alot about art with the same handle.
hm.

anyway thank you, it's not my first POEM just the first erotic one.



thanks again.

*kiss*

I think there's another wicked eve on the web. I've used this name online for about 6 years. The name started out in chat rooms, and then moved to a few adult sites that I had, and now literotica. Ah, a long, sordid history for the name.

 

[Reltne]

Also, please use a spell checker and find an editor.

Poem.
not to good at writing, but let me know what you think.

Dancing Entwined in dark velvet,
Oh, exctasy.
The tips of your fingers dancing my neck,
tracing the outline of my lips.

Kisses smothered in coarse breath.
Whispers of fantasies,
tumbling across the melting air.

Our sonnet of pleasure,
words mixed with sweat
dripping from the thin air between us.

The sharp hint of your purfume,
feeding the hunger within,
bitting at my inhibitions,
melting in the heat of our dance.