NoJo
Happily Marred
- Joined
- May 19, 2002
- Posts
- 15,398
Okay, so I see this sign outside of a little church:
We’ll give you three pounds for free!
“Wow,” I say to myself, “The church must be pretty desperate these days.”
So I walk in, and it looks like a polling station.
There’s a line of people queuing up in front of a big trestle table, behind which sit three nice-looking ladies with blue armbands, who hand out pieces of paper and pens to everyone.
I get to the front of the line.
“Good morning,” I say, “where’s my three quid?”
The lady smiles and tells me the deal:
“This is how it works. You go into one of those two cubicles back there, and write the letter “C” on this piece of paper. Then you bring the paper back to me, and show me what you wrote. That’s it. That’s all. Then I give you four pounds.”
“Four pounds? The sign outside says you only give three.”
“Well, you need to give us a deposit of a pound first, in case you walk away with the pen.”
‘Rip-off’ bells start to ring here. But my curiosity is aroused too. Then I see a guy come over to the lady, show her his piece of paper, and she gives him a pound coin and a five pound note..
“Did you just give that guy five pounds?”
“Yes, he wrote ‘D’ on his paper. You obviously didn’t read the small print under the sign outside. I’ll explain it to you. What happens is this: . You go into one of the cubicles and write either ‘C’ or ‘D’ on the paper. When you hand the paper back, we compare what you wrote with what the person from the other cubicle wrote.
If you both wrote ‘C’, we give each of you your pound back, plus three more.
If you both wrote ‘D’, we just give each of you your pounds back. So you don’t get anything, but you don’t lose anything either.”
“Okay. And what if one of us puts ‘C’, and the other puts ‘D’?”
The lady smiles. “If that happens, then the person who wrote ‘D’ gets five pounds, and the person who wrote ‘C’ gets nothing. Not even his pound back.”
“So if I write ‘C’, I’ll be a pound down on the deal?”
“Only if the other person writes ‘D’. If he also wrote ‘C’, you’ll both get your three pounds.”
“I’ll play,” I say. Because I figured, “what the hell. If I put ‘D’, I can’t lose. Either I get my pound back, or I stand to win a fiver.”
So I give her a pound, and into the booth I go with my pen and paper. And as I go in, I see a guy walking into the other booth. He’s the guy my letter will be compared with. We look each other in the eye. He’s a smart-looking character. Definitely a ‘D’ type of guy. I’m absolutely sure if I put ‘C’, I’ll end up losing my deposit.
So I write a big ‘D’ on my paper and hand it back to the lady.
“Thank you,” says the lady. That’s just what the other chap wrote. So here’s your pound back.
I’m not surprised. But then something strikes me.
“Hey, how do you guys make any money out of this? You always end up forking out more than you get.”
“Oh, we’re a charity.”
“Really? What kind of charity?”
“We’re just part of the Church. We’re trying to teach people about Christianity. That’s what the ‘C’ stands for.”
We’ll give you three pounds for free!
“Wow,” I say to myself, “The church must be pretty desperate these days.”
So I walk in, and it looks like a polling station.
There’s a line of people queuing up in front of a big trestle table, behind which sit three nice-looking ladies with blue armbands, who hand out pieces of paper and pens to everyone.
I get to the front of the line.
“Good morning,” I say, “where’s my three quid?”
The lady smiles and tells me the deal:
“This is how it works. You go into one of those two cubicles back there, and write the letter “C” on this piece of paper. Then you bring the paper back to me, and show me what you wrote. That’s it. That’s all. Then I give you four pounds.”
“Four pounds? The sign outside says you only give three.”
“Well, you need to give us a deposit of a pound first, in case you walk away with the pen.”
‘Rip-off’ bells start to ring here. But my curiosity is aroused too. Then I see a guy come over to the lady, show her his piece of paper, and she gives him a pound coin and a five pound note..
“Did you just give that guy five pounds?”
“Yes, he wrote ‘D’ on his paper. You obviously didn’t read the small print under the sign outside. I’ll explain it to you. What happens is this: . You go into one of the cubicles and write either ‘C’ or ‘D’ on the paper. When you hand the paper back, we compare what you wrote with what the person from the other cubicle wrote.
If you both wrote ‘C’, we give each of you your pound back, plus three more.
If you both wrote ‘D’, we just give each of you your pounds back. So you don’t get anything, but you don’t lose anything either.”
“Okay. And what if one of us puts ‘C’, and the other puts ‘D’?”
The lady smiles. “If that happens, then the person who wrote ‘D’ gets five pounds, and the person who wrote ‘C’ gets nothing. Not even his pound back.”
“So if I write ‘C’, I’ll be a pound down on the deal?”
“Only if the other person writes ‘D’. If he also wrote ‘C’, you’ll both get your three pounds.”
“I’ll play,” I say. Because I figured, “what the hell. If I put ‘D’, I can’t lose. Either I get my pound back, or I stand to win a fiver.”
So I give her a pound, and into the booth I go with my pen and paper. And as I go in, I see a guy walking into the other booth. He’s the guy my letter will be compared with. We look each other in the eye. He’s a smart-looking character. Definitely a ‘D’ type of guy. I’m absolutely sure if I put ‘C’, I’ll end up losing my deposit.
So I write a big ‘D’ on my paper and hand it back to the lady.
“Thank you,” says the lady. That’s just what the other chap wrote. So here’s your pound back.
I’m not surprised. But then something strikes me.
“Hey, how do you guys make any money out of this? You always end up forking out more than you get.”
“Oh, we’re a charity.”
“Really? What kind of charity?”
“We’re just part of the Church. We’re trying to teach people about Christianity. That’s what the ‘C’ stands for.”
