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The Male Fairy Tale

Pairaclities

Pairaclities

Literotica Guru
Joined
Oct 29, 2012
Posts
1,292
Every man's secret desires at some point in his life.

Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess, “Will you marry me?” The Princess said, “No!!!” And the Prince lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and banged skinny long-legged big-titted women and hunted and fished and raced cars and went to strip bars and dated women half his age and drank whisky, beer and Captain Morgans and never heard bitching and never paid child support or alimony and kept his house and golf clubs and ate spam and chips and beans and blew enormous farts and never got cheated on while he was at work and all his friends and family thought he was cool and he had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up.

The End
 
You left out the part of the Male Fairy Tale where the Prince goes to a bar and meets a Queen.
 
thør said:
Were you the one fucking his wife while he was at work? Not your fault. Her ring was in her purse wrapped in her panties.
Click to expand...

Anything is possible, but it would have been a long time ago.

There is one solid rule about this sort of thing. Never have sex with the wife of a man you know.

When a woman cheats on her husband with one of his friends, it's only so she can confess the whole thing when it will cause the most pain. If she really wants to hurt him, she fucks his brother.
 
Pairaclities said:
Every man's secret desires at some point in his life.

Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess, “Will you marry me?” The Princess said, “No!!!” And the Prince lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and banged skinny long-legged big-titted women and hunted and fished and raced cars and went to strip bars and dated women half his age and drank whisky, beer and Captain Morgans and never heard bitching and never paid child support or alimony and kept his house and golf clubs and ate spam and chips and beans and blew enormous farts and never got cheated on while he was at work and all his friends and family thought he was cool and he had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up.

The End
Click to expand...

Of course he died at 22.
 
Here's mine, I tell younger men all the time:

Once upon a time a proud king found is kingdom floundering. His crops were struck by drought. His peasants were starving, and the loyalty of his knights was in question. In desperation, the king consulted an old witch. The witch agreed to cast a spell to save his kingdom, but he would be in her debt until she came to collect. Desperate, the king agreed. The witch went into her hut and cast spells that saved his kingdom, and made it prosper.

Many year later, the king's son, a fine young prince, reached the age of matrimony. The witch appeared at the castle to collect her debt. Her price was the prince's hand in marriage. The prince was horrified until the old witch cast a spell turning her into a beautiful young maiden. The prince was happy, until he learned the spell would only last half a day. The witch gave the prince one night to decide how she was going to appear by day and by night.

The prince thought long and hard. If he had her as a young maiden by day, all his subjects would see her and envy him. But then at night he would have the creepy old witch in the castle. If choose her to be the young maiden at night, he could have her all to himself. But then by day his subjects would see him with the creepy old witch.

Unable to decide, the prince told the witch the next morning that she could decide how she wanted to appear.
Suddenly the old witch transformed into the beautiful young maiden. Since the prince allowed her to choose, she became the young maiden day and night. The moral of the story? No matter how beautiful the woman is, remember, there is always a little witch inside.
 
lovetoread said:
Oh ffs.

Cant get beyond women hating funnies?
Click to expand...

Aren't we just suppose to take it with grace when they fuck around on us? My favorite is it's your fault (insert dumb reason) that I did it.

For OP: People cheat, let it go, blow them a kiss and tell them to fuck off.

Only one it hurts holding onto it, is you.
 
The post is from a male POV. I figured it was a joke or parody but decided to answer if I was serious.
 
Pairaclities said:
Every man's secret desires at some point in his life.

Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess, “Will you marry me?” The Princess said, “No!!!” And the Prince lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and banged skinny long-legged big-titted women and hunted and fished and raced cars and went to strip bars and dated women half his age and drank whisky, beer and Captain Morgans and never heard bitching and never paid child support or alimony and kept his house and golf clubs and ate spam and chips and beans and blew enormous farts and never got cheated on while he was at work and all his friends and family thought he was cool and he had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up.

The End
Click to expand...

As a man, I must say that I almost always put the toilet seat down.

If I don't, your mom tries to drink from it.
 
 
MNGuy said:
Here's mine, I tell younger men all the time:

Once upon a time a proud king found is kingdom floundering. His crops were struck by drought. His peasants were starving, and the loyalty of his knights was in question. In desperation, the king consulted an old witch. The witch agreed to cast a spell to save his kingdom, but he would be in her debt until she came to collect. Desperate, the king agreed. The witch went into her hut and cast spells that saved his kingdom, and made it prosper.

Many year later, the king's son, a fine young prince, reached the age of matrimony. The witch appeared at the castle to collect her debt. Her price was the prince's hand in marriage. The prince was horrified until the old witch cast a spell turning her into a beautiful young maiden. The prince was happy, until he learned the spell would only last half a day. The witch gave the prince one night to decide how she was going to appear by day and by night.

The prince thought long and hard. If he had her as a young maiden by day, all his subjects would see her and envy him. But then at night he would have the creepy old witch in the castle. If choose her to be the young maiden at night, he could have her all to himself. But then by day his subjects would see him with the creepy old witch.

Unable to decide, the prince told the witch the next morning that she could decide how she wanted to appear.
Suddenly the old witch transformed into the beautiful young maiden. Since the prince allowed her to choose, she became the young maiden day and night. The moral of the story? No matter how beautiful the woman is, remember, there is always a little witch inside.
Click to expand...
Sounds egalitarian to me.

Fuck, I'm stealing this story idea.
 
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