My partner and I have been wading into BDSM, slowly, because he's a bit more timid that I am. He surprised me last night by telling me that he had fantasized about using a crop on me without me having known about it prior to, and this was a huge step for him. Naturally, a talk about safe use of toys and equipment ensued and I though I would share.
The idea of equipment is scary to "New Doms" because they don't know how to use them. (not ever having used a crop, flogger, paddle etc. or had one used on me) I explained it like this:
"As for where on the body, the ass is a good place to start and to expand on that the thighs are a good bet, too.
To start with, those are acceptable areas to experiment with when it comes to spanking, flogging etc.
Now as for how hard, common sense and what we are comfortable with are the deciding factors. Don't be afraid to take a few minutes to get a feel for it. Go slow, light and teasingly until you start to get a little more confident and then harder and faster as you see fit. Watch my reaction to your action and judge accordingly.
Remember that there is a safe word and if you're being too rough, it will be used. Trust me to tell you when things are too intense."
This is how I see it from my perspective and how it pertains to our situation but I hope, for anyone who is where I am and is having issues finding the words to explain things, that this has helped.
Now, on to the sexy bit.
He's definitely finding his footing.
After reading to him my post on the Oral Servitude thread he's realizing how deep this really goes.
Last night, oh my goodness, last night...
Nothing super crazy and still no toys or added elements but the attitudes and just our bodies were plenty. We played with the lights on which changed a lot for both of us. One thing in particular that I still can't stop thinking about and drove me wild at the moment was when we were just hanging out in missionary and suddenly he pulled out. I looked at him questioningly and he said "are you ready?" I nodded thinking uh oh and he started dipping the head in and counted out loud
Dip "one"
Dip "two"
RAM "three"
He did this twice and then stopped again to ask "aren't you going to count with me?" So for the next one I attempted to count along with him but because he was ramming ON three the word wasn't exactly coming out as English. He made me do this over and over until I managed to get the word out properly and then made me count by myself for a few rounds.
It sounds simple but this blew my freaking mind. Hence the title of this thread "The little things"
The idea of equipment is scary to "New Doms" because they don't know how to use them. (not ever having used a crop, flogger, paddle etc. or had one used on me) I explained it like this:
"As for where on the body, the ass is a good place to start and to expand on that the thighs are a good bet, too.
To start with, those are acceptable areas to experiment with when it comes to spanking, flogging etc.
Now as for how hard, common sense and what we are comfortable with are the deciding factors. Don't be afraid to take a few minutes to get a feel for it. Go slow, light and teasingly until you start to get a little more confident and then harder and faster as you see fit. Watch my reaction to your action and judge accordingly.
Remember that there is a safe word and if you're being too rough, it will be used. Trust me to tell you when things are too intense."
This is how I see it from my perspective and how it pertains to our situation but I hope, for anyone who is where I am and is having issues finding the words to explain things, that this has helped.
Now, on to the sexy bit.
He's definitely finding his footing.
After reading to him my post on the Oral Servitude thread he's realizing how deep this really goes.
Last night, oh my goodness, last night...
Nothing super crazy and still no toys or added elements but the attitudes and just our bodies were plenty. We played with the lights on which changed a lot for both of us. One thing in particular that I still can't stop thinking about and drove me wild at the moment was when we were just hanging out in missionary and suddenly he pulled out. I looked at him questioningly and he said "are you ready?" I nodded thinking uh oh and he started dipping the head in and counted out loud
Dip "one"
Dip "two"
RAM "three"
He did this twice and then stopped again to ask "aren't you going to count with me?" So for the next one I attempted to count along with him but because he was ramming ON three the word wasn't exactly coming out as English. He made me do this over and over until I managed to get the word out properly and then made me count by myself for a few rounds.
It sounds simple but this blew my freaking mind. Hence the title of this thread "The little things"
