The Literotica Enquirer

[miles]

Just a quick scan of several thread titles from the usual suspects reads like the front page headlines from a sleazy supermarket tabloid:

I knew it! Our Queen is a mere pretender...

Bush lied about Iraq

Republicans intimidate black voters!

Bush can't keep his lips to himself.

The Advantages of Sobriety

Savage Palestinian disease strike again

Why do Republicans hate gays?

Cheney LOVES Saddam

Does anyone see a common thread here?

 

[peachykeen]

So, just a day like any other then?

 

[Stout chap]

It is dastardly. But what do you propose we do?

Wearing waistcoats in public without their jackets on! I don't know what the World is coming to.

A fine broadsheet headline if ever there was one.

 

[Bob_Bytchin]

It is dastardly. But what do you propose we do?

Wearing waistcoats in public without their jackets on! I don't know what the World is coming to.

A fine broadsheet headline if ever there was one.

Lord Lucan?

 

[miles]

Well, at least now we know where they get their news from.

 

[Stout chap]

Read All About It!

The Literotica Express

"My Medal hell!"

As related by Field-Marshal Reginald "El" Chumbo VC etc to the Literotica Express's chief fashion correspondent, Cordelia Honeypot-Skullduggery, who then hastily scribbled it all down on the back of a packet of Woodbines in the ladies' room of The Fetid Ferret, somewhere in Peckham (in all liklihood).

National hero and stalwart of the Stout British Explorers Club, Field-Marshal "Reggie" Chumbo, made a startling confession today after being plied with really not that many treble whiskies and soda.

Chumbers' dream
Reginald Chumbo (seen here soon after his first shark-wrestling mishap) always dreamt of one day owning the famous SBEC Staggeringly Huge Medal for Outstanding Stoutnes

"I can no longer control me urges, you understand?", slurred Reggie,the "Scourge of Scandinavia" himself,"I see a medal and I just have to get my hands on it. It has ruined my life. If it wasn't for the support of my fellow members at the SBEC I would have nothing; all my old friends have deserted me saying that it is far too dangerous to be around someone who is so hideously brave all the time. They say it has become difficult to get any sense out of me these days as I have become consumed with Medallust. I remember as a boy I used to make replicas of all the greatest SBEC medals for stoutness. My favourite was the SBEC Staggeringly Huge Medal for Outstanding Stoutness. The truth is that sometimes I wish I had never heard of the damned thing.

Chumbers in his prime

"Got me into all sorts of trouble, over the years, has that blasted thing. Do you have any idea how hard it is to earn one? There is a special medal awarded just for attempting to win the SBEC Staggeringly Huge Medal for Outstanding Stoutness, such is the difficulty involved. So far I have lost one eye, one ear, several fingers, my left arm, my right leg (twice), a rather important part of my gentleman's equipment, three batmen, twelve char wallahs, two entire regiments and four-and-a-half million civilians, trying to get my hands on the thing. For a while, during those joyous years battling the Boer and a little later bashing the Boche, there were medals a-plenty and I was happy. At last I could enjoy risking life and limb just the same as any other British Staff Officer stationed in Worthing, and I was for a few merry years able to put all thoughts of the Staggeringly Huge medal out of my head.

"And then disaster struck! The medal had only been awarded twice in its one hundred and fifty year history - and not at all during the previous forty-eight years. Then the terrible news came that it was to be awarded once again, and this time to a woman!

Begging to support his medal habit

"But that was not the half of it. What truly hurt and consumed me with envy was that it was to be awarded posthumously! Well that's just bloody typical, I thought. A nicely turned ankle and a touch of rigor mortis can get you anywhere these days..." (Contd on back page)

 

[Stout chap]

A much classier newspaper, b'god!

 

[Guest]

Re: Read All About It!

 

[Stout chap]

 

[Lasz]

I thought this was a sex board. Not a political activist place.

 

[miles]

I thought this was a sex board. Not a political activist place.

No political activism in any of the headlines I posted. Just a bunch of rhetorical bullshit.

 

[Guest]