RobDownSouth
You Saw What He Did
- Joined
- Apr 13, 2002
- Posts
- 76,297
The Literotica Doom Patrol in Iraq
Prologue
War was inevitable, a scant twenty four hours away. President Bush, with an increasing sense of desperation, knew his slim chance for re-election rested on a quick resolution of the mess he had made in Iraq. He decided to play his ace in the hole….he called to active duty the legendary Literotica Doom Patrol
Chapter One – Somewhere In the Desert
The somewhat haggard group staggered from the dark recesses of the cargo hold in the C-130 transport into the hot arid desert sun. The Air Force loadmaster looked over then six soldiers appraisingly. “Welcome to Forward Base Alpha, Kuwait. The CO will see you men in the briefing tent immediately.”
“But, but, we just got here! And I’m tired! And I need to go potty! And I want to get a souvenir!” whined a visibly distraught Frimost.
“Sergeant, do I look like a man to you?” seethed an irate Cheyenne, who pulled down the front of her regulation jumpsuit, exposing a firm ripe breast. The Air Force sergeant ogled at the day-old “Death From Above” tattoo beneath her exposed nipple.
“How do we know you are who you say you are?” a smug TeddyBear4Play arched an eyebrow. “How can you prove this is where you say it is?”
“Cease your iridescent discordance and somnambulistic suspicions, my Ursan compatriot!” pontificated the loquacious Ishmael “Let us endeavor to ascertain the validity of the presupposed prerogative of our continued presence in this arid wasteland”.
“Kill Muslims! When do we get to KILL MOOOSLIMS!” frothed an agitated Busybody. “Hush, hush, precious” cooed an adoring Viper Vic, tenderly dabbing the spittle from the corner of his special friend’s mouth with a handkerchief. “We’ll be killing them soon enough…yesssss…soon enough”
Chapter Two – The Briefing
“Gentlemen…and lady” the General made a nod in the direction of Cheyenne (who stared longingly at the stars on the General’s field cap), “the President himself has directed me to inform you that you have been chosen for the greatest of honors…we want you to take out Saddam Hussein himself…personally!”
“I would be honored to assume command from you as your moral and intellectual superior…” began a beaming Ishmael. “Assume command?” the General replied . “No no, son…you are to take command this Literotica Doom Patrol on the front lines! You’re gonna get your fingers dirty here!”
“I hardly see that as an adequate deployment of my phenomenal cerebral intellectualism. I’d be much more suited to rear echelon after-action critiquing, although I do suppose I could assist in bayoneting the wounded, should the need so arise…” said Ishmael.
“Kill MOOSLIMS WHEN DO WE GET TO KILL MOOOOSLIMS!” screamed an incoherent Busybody. “Yes, Colonel, when do we get to do the fun stuff like killing?” said Venom Vic, as he lovingly stroked the Hitler mustache of his beloved Busybody.
“Very soon, soldier, very soon…and it’s “General”, not “Colonel” said the General coolly. “You’ll parachute into Baghdad tomorrow!”
“But, but, that’s COMBAT!” shrieked Frimost, shooting to his feet, his crotch betraying a rapidly spreading dark stain.
“Yes, General, I can’t do combat, I’m a woman!” sputtered Cheyenne, reaching down yet again to expose her heaving bosom….
“Me too! I mean, except for the part about being a woman” added TeddyBear4Play.
“Stow it, SOLDIER!” the General glared at Cheyenne. “Secure those mammaries! You can go back to peddling your ass to dockside sailors or whatever it is you do..AFTER you accomplish your mission!”
“Listen UP!” The General roared. “The President of the United States has PERSONALLY selected you for this mission. He is counting on your unwavering near-canine devotion to him, you ability to speak and act without thinking, your ability to obey his dictates without hesitation or question.
The group appeared to straighten up then, as if having acquired a collective backbone.
“When this is all over, you will make us proud. The name “Literotica Fascist Four” will be the stuff of legends.
Venom Vic quickly counted nimbly on his fingers, and after some mental consternation, spoke up. “Uh, excuse me sir, but there are five of us! Um, no, six…SIX!”.
“Not all of you may come back alive. War is hell. Report to the supply depot for weapons re-familiarization and parachutes. That is all” The General turned and strode from the tent, muttering under his breath.
“Hold me!” whispered Venom Vic to his spiritual twin Busybody.
“Faggot.” murmured Cheyenne.
Chapter Three – Bang Bang
“My name is HeavyStick, and I will be your weapons instructor during this period of instruction. This is the M16A2 general purpose assault rifle, your principal combat weapon. Now then first things first. Place your left hand on your weapon. Place your right hand on your cock. Repeat after me: This is my rifle, this is my gun. One is for shooting, the other for fun!”
“Sir, Permission to be excused? My strap-on is secured in my duffle bag.” said a breathless Cheyenne.
“For the purposes of this exercise, you are to assume you have a cock” replied the Marine sergeant. “You too, Busybody!” forestalling the inevitable follow-up question.
“I hardly see the innate requirement for the ipso facto ex patria reasoning as to the genuflection of elucidation as to weaponry…” began Ishmael when there was a sudden loud crack. Ishmael collapsed on the ground writhing, his lower jaw blown away, bloody shards of gore where his lower face had been before.
“My God, Ishmael’s shot his mouth off!” screamed Frimost, voiding his bowels in terror.
“…and this time he did it LITERALLY!” added Venom Vic in a womanly squeal.
“No. I did it…I shot his goddamn jaw off…It was a mercy killing, believe me” TeddyBear4Play said.
“You’ll get a medal for this, soldier” said HeavyStick, approvingly.
Chapter Four – We Die At Dawn
The Literotica Doom Patrol sat quietly within the cargo plane the next morning. They were 2000 feet in the air, the drop zone in Central Baghdad mere minutes away…
They sat introspectively, none of them having said a word the entire trip. They had been awoken at 0400 hours, Frimost had expertly fellated the men and Cheyenne pleasured herself with the barrel of her Colt .45 sidearm. After getting parachutes from the parachute shed (TeddyBear4Play had insisted on re-packing his own chute), they stoically boarded the plane.
…the green light came on over the door, and they plunged single file out the door into the pre-dawn gloom.
Frimost landed first, and heard a sickening wet thud next to him. He rounded up Venom Vic, Busybody, a heavily bandaged Ishmael and Cheyenne. He risked a quick flash of his flashlight. The thud he had heard was the sound of TeddyBear4Play’s body hitting the ground…his chute had failed to deploy. The grisly sight made him vomit.
“Poor TeddyBear” sighed Cheyenne. “He’ll never foreplay again”. “Oh he never did foreplay anyway” said Venom Vic. The others stared at him. “Well…he DIDN’T!” he added bitchily.
Chapter Five – Into The Belly Of The Beast
The fighting, as expected, was fierce and intense. Busybody made a wide swath of destruction, his eyes glazed with rapture as he gleefully killed everything in sight wearing a turban. “Moooslims! Moooooooslims” he repeated over and over.
By noon, the carnage was astounding. The Literoritcans had killed an impressive 547 Iraqis (2 men, 293 women, 254 children). After Venom Vic spitted a final Iraqi infant on his bayonet, they decided to take a quick lunch break before storming Saddam’s inner sanctum. Busybody and Venom Vic used the downtime to 69 each other. Frimost sodomized an unfortunate Iraqi boy he had managed to capture, and Ishmael dragged an Iraqi soldier’s corpse into a corner, and began to pull down his zipper…
“You guys sometimes disgust me!” said Cheyenne. “Don’t any of you want a real live hot-blooded American WOMAN?” she cried. “No thanks” said Frimost. Ishmael shook his mute bandaged head negatively. Busybody and Venom Vic, their mouths full of each other’s cock, also demurred. Cheyenne sighed.
Once they had all finished, they pressed on with their assault. At long last, they had fought their way into Saddam’s inner sanctum. A visibly surprised Saddam stood upright at his desk. “Back off, Literotica Doom Patrol!” He snarled. Pushing a button on his desk, electronic curtains opened up to a hidden room. Inside was a single missile. A lethal single missile, with the unmistakable international warning sign indicating the presence of highly fatal nerve toxins. “You see I did have one…ONE!...weapon of mass destruction! Take one move closer and I will fire my M Zero Zero Strategic Launch Utility Missile.”
The Literotica Doom Patrol stopped. The fearless fascists hesitated before the awesome might of the missile. Busybody looked quizzically at the side of the M00-SLUM missile. He sounded the word out in his head. “Moo. Slum. Moo. Slum. “ he repeated over and over. “MOOOOOOOSLUM!” he screamed, pulling the pins from two grenades as he rushed forward. “No Busybody NO!”
The world turned white…and then red…..and then black.
Epilogue. The Presidents Remarks 06/04/03
My fellow Americans, we are gathered here today to unveil a monument to those who gave their lives to advance the cause of American Imperialism. They died so that our access to inexpensive oil shall not perish.
[George, pull cord here…Karen]
Today marks a sense of closure. The wounds of Vietnam are now completely healed with these brave soldiers’ ultimate sacrifice. It is fitting therefore, that I have ordered this monument of the six fearless Literoticans to be placed on the ground where formerly stood the Vietnam wall memorial. As I have ordered that former monument bulldozed, we look forward to bulldozing our way into the twenty first century.
[George, point to statue…..Karen]
You’ll see their likenesses here in this statue. You’ll see Ishmael, his once proud voice silenced….
[George, crack voice here…..Karen]
Frimost, with the suspicious bulge in the rear of his trousers….he, like I, knew the meaning of fear…
This lump of steel here represents the one who died beforehand…TeddyBear4Play…
Cheyenne…with simulated presidential semen glistening on her lips…I only wish she’d lived long enough to achieve that ultimate goal of hers…
[George DO NOT SMIRK….Karen]
Venom Victor…you’ll see his statue’s hand stroking the cock of his beloved Busybody, inseparable in death as they were in life…
And finally, Busybody. Just as John F. Kennedy has an eternal flame over across the Potomac at Arlington, I have ordered an eternal bubbler installed on the mouth of Busybody’s statue so that generation from now can still see him frothin’ at the mouth in all his glory. It was Busybody who blew up that missile in place, gassing himself and his compatriots and 17 nearby children’s hospitals. But he got Hussein, and that’s what counts.
[George-----look solemn here….Karen]
These people are the first true heroes of the new American Empire. We should always remember them thusly…they passed gas to save my political ass.
God bless them, God bless me, and God bless the United States of American Empire. No questions, please.
Prologue
War was inevitable, a scant twenty four hours away. President Bush, with an increasing sense of desperation, knew his slim chance for re-election rested on a quick resolution of the mess he had made in Iraq. He decided to play his ace in the hole….he called to active duty the legendary Literotica Doom Patrol
Chapter One – Somewhere In the Desert
The somewhat haggard group staggered from the dark recesses of the cargo hold in the C-130 transport into the hot arid desert sun. The Air Force loadmaster looked over then six soldiers appraisingly. “Welcome to Forward Base Alpha, Kuwait. The CO will see you men in the briefing tent immediately.”
“But, but, we just got here! And I’m tired! And I need to go potty! And I want to get a souvenir!” whined a visibly distraught Frimost.
“Sergeant, do I look like a man to you?” seethed an irate Cheyenne, who pulled down the front of her regulation jumpsuit, exposing a firm ripe breast. The Air Force sergeant ogled at the day-old “Death From Above” tattoo beneath her exposed nipple.
“How do we know you are who you say you are?” a smug TeddyBear4Play arched an eyebrow. “How can you prove this is where you say it is?”
“Cease your iridescent discordance and somnambulistic suspicions, my Ursan compatriot!” pontificated the loquacious Ishmael “Let us endeavor to ascertain the validity of the presupposed prerogative of our continued presence in this arid wasteland”.
“Kill Muslims! When do we get to KILL MOOOSLIMS!” frothed an agitated Busybody. “Hush, hush, precious” cooed an adoring Viper Vic, tenderly dabbing the spittle from the corner of his special friend’s mouth with a handkerchief. “We’ll be killing them soon enough…yesssss…soon enough”
Chapter Two – The Briefing
“Gentlemen…and lady” the General made a nod in the direction of Cheyenne (who stared longingly at the stars on the General’s field cap), “the President himself has directed me to inform you that you have been chosen for the greatest of honors…we want you to take out Saddam Hussein himself…personally!”
“I would be honored to assume command from you as your moral and intellectual superior…” began a beaming Ishmael. “Assume command?” the General replied . “No no, son…you are to take command this Literotica Doom Patrol on the front lines! You’re gonna get your fingers dirty here!”
“I hardly see that as an adequate deployment of my phenomenal cerebral intellectualism. I’d be much more suited to rear echelon after-action critiquing, although I do suppose I could assist in bayoneting the wounded, should the need so arise…” said Ishmael.
“Kill MOOSLIMS WHEN DO WE GET TO KILL MOOOOSLIMS!” screamed an incoherent Busybody. “Yes, Colonel, when do we get to do the fun stuff like killing?” said Venom Vic, as he lovingly stroked the Hitler mustache of his beloved Busybody.
“Very soon, soldier, very soon…and it’s “General”, not “Colonel” said the General coolly. “You’ll parachute into Baghdad tomorrow!”
“But, but, that’s COMBAT!” shrieked Frimost, shooting to his feet, his crotch betraying a rapidly spreading dark stain.
“Yes, General, I can’t do combat, I’m a woman!” sputtered Cheyenne, reaching down yet again to expose her heaving bosom….
“Me too! I mean, except for the part about being a woman” added TeddyBear4Play.
“Stow it, SOLDIER!” the General glared at Cheyenne. “Secure those mammaries! You can go back to peddling your ass to dockside sailors or whatever it is you do..AFTER you accomplish your mission!”
“Listen UP!” The General roared. “The President of the United States has PERSONALLY selected you for this mission. He is counting on your unwavering near-canine devotion to him, you ability to speak and act without thinking, your ability to obey his dictates without hesitation or question.
The group appeared to straighten up then, as if having acquired a collective backbone.
“When this is all over, you will make us proud. The name “Literotica Fascist Four” will be the stuff of legends.
Venom Vic quickly counted nimbly on his fingers, and after some mental consternation, spoke up. “Uh, excuse me sir, but there are five of us! Um, no, six…SIX!”.
“Not all of you may come back alive. War is hell. Report to the supply depot for weapons re-familiarization and parachutes. That is all” The General turned and strode from the tent, muttering under his breath.
“Hold me!” whispered Venom Vic to his spiritual twin Busybody.
“Faggot.” murmured Cheyenne.
Chapter Three – Bang Bang
“My name is HeavyStick, and I will be your weapons instructor during this period of instruction. This is the M16A2 general purpose assault rifle, your principal combat weapon. Now then first things first. Place your left hand on your weapon. Place your right hand on your cock. Repeat after me: This is my rifle, this is my gun. One is for shooting, the other for fun!”
“Sir, Permission to be excused? My strap-on is secured in my duffle bag.” said a breathless Cheyenne.
“For the purposes of this exercise, you are to assume you have a cock” replied the Marine sergeant. “You too, Busybody!” forestalling the inevitable follow-up question.
“I hardly see the innate requirement for the ipso facto ex patria reasoning as to the genuflection of elucidation as to weaponry…” began Ishmael when there was a sudden loud crack. Ishmael collapsed on the ground writhing, his lower jaw blown away, bloody shards of gore where his lower face had been before.
“My God, Ishmael’s shot his mouth off!” screamed Frimost, voiding his bowels in terror.
“…and this time he did it LITERALLY!” added Venom Vic in a womanly squeal.
“No. I did it…I shot his goddamn jaw off…It was a mercy killing, believe me” TeddyBear4Play said.
“You’ll get a medal for this, soldier” said HeavyStick, approvingly.
Chapter Four – We Die At Dawn
The Literotica Doom Patrol sat quietly within the cargo plane the next morning. They were 2000 feet in the air, the drop zone in Central Baghdad mere minutes away…
They sat introspectively, none of them having said a word the entire trip. They had been awoken at 0400 hours, Frimost had expertly fellated the men and Cheyenne pleasured herself with the barrel of her Colt .45 sidearm. After getting parachutes from the parachute shed (TeddyBear4Play had insisted on re-packing his own chute), they stoically boarded the plane.
…the green light came on over the door, and they plunged single file out the door into the pre-dawn gloom.
Frimost landed first, and heard a sickening wet thud next to him. He rounded up Venom Vic, Busybody, a heavily bandaged Ishmael and Cheyenne. He risked a quick flash of his flashlight. The thud he had heard was the sound of TeddyBear4Play’s body hitting the ground…his chute had failed to deploy. The grisly sight made him vomit.
“Poor TeddyBear” sighed Cheyenne. “He’ll never foreplay again”. “Oh he never did foreplay anyway” said Venom Vic. The others stared at him. “Well…he DIDN’T!” he added bitchily.
Chapter Five – Into The Belly Of The Beast
The fighting, as expected, was fierce and intense. Busybody made a wide swath of destruction, his eyes glazed with rapture as he gleefully killed everything in sight wearing a turban. “Moooslims! Moooooooslims” he repeated over and over.
By noon, the carnage was astounding. The Literoritcans had killed an impressive 547 Iraqis (2 men, 293 women, 254 children). After Venom Vic spitted a final Iraqi infant on his bayonet, they decided to take a quick lunch break before storming Saddam’s inner sanctum. Busybody and Venom Vic used the downtime to 69 each other. Frimost sodomized an unfortunate Iraqi boy he had managed to capture, and Ishmael dragged an Iraqi soldier’s corpse into a corner, and began to pull down his zipper…
“You guys sometimes disgust me!” said Cheyenne. “Don’t any of you want a real live hot-blooded American WOMAN?” she cried. “No thanks” said Frimost. Ishmael shook his mute bandaged head negatively. Busybody and Venom Vic, their mouths full of each other’s cock, also demurred. Cheyenne sighed.
Once they had all finished, they pressed on with their assault. At long last, they had fought their way into Saddam’s inner sanctum. A visibly surprised Saddam stood upright at his desk. “Back off, Literotica Doom Patrol!” He snarled. Pushing a button on his desk, electronic curtains opened up to a hidden room. Inside was a single missile. A lethal single missile, with the unmistakable international warning sign indicating the presence of highly fatal nerve toxins. “You see I did have one…ONE!...weapon of mass destruction! Take one move closer and I will fire my M Zero Zero Strategic Launch Utility Missile.”
The Literotica Doom Patrol stopped. The fearless fascists hesitated before the awesome might of the missile. Busybody looked quizzically at the side of the M00-SLUM missile. He sounded the word out in his head. “Moo. Slum. Moo. Slum. “ he repeated over and over. “MOOOOOOOSLUM!” he screamed, pulling the pins from two grenades as he rushed forward. “No Busybody NO!”
The world turned white…and then red…..and then black.
Epilogue. The Presidents Remarks 06/04/03
My fellow Americans, we are gathered here today to unveil a monument to those who gave their lives to advance the cause of American Imperialism. They died so that our access to inexpensive oil shall not perish.
[George, pull cord here…Karen]
Today marks a sense of closure. The wounds of Vietnam are now completely healed with these brave soldiers’ ultimate sacrifice. It is fitting therefore, that I have ordered this monument of the six fearless Literoticans to be placed on the ground where formerly stood the Vietnam wall memorial. As I have ordered that former monument bulldozed, we look forward to bulldozing our way into the twenty first century.
[George, point to statue…..Karen]
You’ll see their likenesses here in this statue. You’ll see Ishmael, his once proud voice silenced….
[George, crack voice here…..Karen]
Frimost, with the suspicious bulge in the rear of his trousers….he, like I, knew the meaning of fear…
This lump of steel here represents the one who died beforehand…TeddyBear4Play…
Cheyenne…with simulated presidential semen glistening on her lips…I only wish she’d lived long enough to achieve that ultimate goal of hers…
[George DO NOT SMIRK….Karen]
Venom Victor…you’ll see his statue’s hand stroking the cock of his beloved Busybody, inseparable in death as they were in life…
And finally, Busybody. Just as John F. Kennedy has an eternal flame over across the Potomac at Arlington, I have ordered an eternal bubbler installed on the mouth of Busybody’s statue so that generation from now can still see him frothin’ at the mouth in all his glory. It was Busybody who blew up that missile in place, gassing himself and his compatriots and 17 nearby children’s hospitals. But he got Hussein, and that’s what counts.
[George-----look solemn here….Karen]
These people are the first true heroes of the new American Empire. We should always remember them thusly…they passed gas to save my political ass.
God bless them, God bless me, and God bless the United States of American Empire. No questions, please.
