the line between bicurious and bisexual

[thebicurious1]

Ok, so my question is, where is the line between bi curious and bi sexual. Is it defined by any certain act, or a certain amount of time? I do have good reason to ask... (ask me and i shall explain)

 

[Zergplex]

Zergplex Says

Ok, so my question is, where is the line between bi curious and bi sexual. Is it defined by any certain act, or a certain amount of time? I do have good reason to ask... (ask me and i shall explain)

Well there are many differant opinions on this subject. I don't personally draw any line, I have a unique viewpoint, in my opinion there are no straights or gays. Everyone is on a spectrum with totally homosexual on one end and totally hetrosexual on the other. Most people fall somewhere in the middle, weither straight or gay or bisexual. Bicurious just falls a bit short of the middle ^_~ just my random opinion. I'll send CG over for her own opinion, as a bicurious women maybe she can help.

And sure, why not explain. ^_^

-Zergplex

 

[mritsme]

like me i think bi curious is something you are interested in and then after you try it you would then either not like it and be more to the straight side if you then liked it though you would then be bisexual

 

[thickspear]

u

 

[College_geek]

I consider myself bicurious because I sometimes imagine/fantasize about what it might be like to be with another woman. I also can say when a woman is attractive, but to me that's more just appreciating beauty. When I mention being bicurious, I often also say that I don't think that I'll ever act upon this curiousity. If a woman were to kiss me, I don't think I'd stop her, but I don't know whether or not I'd want to go further than that. I think bicuriousity may be more about the fantasy of it, more than being attracted to the same gender. Bisexuality, I believe, it being attracted to both genders, but one doesn't necessarily have to have ever dated/ had an encounter with one of the same sex. *shrugs* Just my take on it.

 

[thebicurious1]

the story

One of my husband and my best male friends brings over his new fiance. My husband and I are looking for another woman as I said i was interested in trying a 3some. After they leave I look at my husband and he looks at me and we both say... how bout her? Then laugh and think it will never happen. One day she and I are in my kitchen (having become very very close friends) and we start talking about sexuality. I find out that she is bisexual and has had many encounters to celebrate that fact. I confess to her that the husband and I had talked in depth about her and she confesses the same of her fiance (remember... my good friend) and me. We talked about getting together "for the guys" and I told her that I wanted to do it without the guys the first time "in case i didnt like it". A few weeks later that opportunity presented itself and we fooled around. I was definately into it. We have since moved out of the country having had only that one encounter. She is always in my thoughts though and we have plans to get together as a group in june. She says I am still bi curious since i have only had that one encounter...

I just want to know other opinions about what is bicurious vs. bisexual!

Thanks for any comments.

 

[Pookie]

To me, someone who is "bicurious" is not sure if they are attracted to the same sex or not, but has a real curiosity about it and is probably interested in experimenting to find out. If you've had sexual experiences with the same gender, and you continue to desire it, I would consider you bisexual.

Is one encounter enough to know? Maybe, maybe not. I would say it depends on each individual person's situation leading up to that one encounter. Also, I don't believe every bisexual is also "biamorous" as well.

 

[Zergplex]

Zergplex Says

One of my husband and my best male friends brings over his new fiance. My husband and I are looking for another woman as I said i was interested in trying a 3some. After they leave I look at my husband and he looks at me and we both say... how bout her? Then laugh and think it will never happen. One day she and I are in my kitchen (having become very very close friends) and we start talking about sexuality. I find out that she is bisexual and has had many encounters to celebrate that fact. I confess to her that the husband and I had talked in depth about her and she confesses the same of her fiance (remember... my good friend) and me. We talked about getting together "for the guys" and I told her that I wanted to do it without the guys the first time "in case i didnt like it". A few weeks later that opportunity presented itself and we fooled around. I was definately into it. We have since moved out of the country having had only that one encounter. She is always in my thoughts though and we have plans to get together as a group in june. She says I am still bi curious since i have only had that one encounter...

I just want to know other opinions about what is bicurious vs. bisexual!

Thanks for any comments.

I would honesty consider that bisexual, actions are not as important as emotions and desire. If you desire to be intimite with a female again, then it shouldn't matter how many times you actualy have an encounter. Intention is what makes your orientation, not nessisarily action. Hence why even before you START dating you still know your orientation for the most part. Intention is key in my opinion. Thats just my opinion though,

-Zergplex

 

[Netzach]

Bisexual is after the hazing.

Kidding. Call yourself what you feel like.

 

[Etoile]

To me, someone who is "bicurious" is not sure if they are attracted to the same sex or not, but has a real curiosity about it and is probably interested in experimenting to find out. If you've had sexual experiences with the same gender, and you continue to desire it, I would consider you bisexual.

Is one encounter enough to know? Maybe, maybe not. I would say it depends on each individual person's situation leading up to that one encounter. Also, I don't believe every bisexual is also "biamorous" as well.

Very well said, Pookie! I tend to agree.

We've already had several good threads about being bicurious in this very forum. Feel free to search through the archives, there is lots of good discussion about it.

Added: Here's one!

 

[Ms_Lilith]

Also, I don't believe every bisexual is also "biamorous" as well.

Good point. I agree with you.. while some people might enjoy playing with other people of their own gender, they might never consider being in love with them, or might have considered it, but decided against it, or some other variation where loving the same gender doesn't come about.


I'm proudly bisexual and biamourous. I've loved both men and women, and loved HARD. *smile* I currently love a man and a woman... and it's a wonderful feeling, though she's so far away...

 

[supath]

Biamorous

My first post here.

"Bisexual and biamorous vs plain bisexual" is a far more interesting question to me than "bi vs bicurious". That being said, I don't know where I fall, for while I suspect I'm not biamorous, I do have fantasies every now and again about giving into a love with another man.....but I've never even come close to falling for another man in real life.....and I don't think I ever will. Maybe I'm bisexual and biamorous curious. That's it.

 

[thebicurious1]

as suspected... you guys are wonderful. I have gotten many resoponses that help with my current "confusion". I guess my name doesnt really fit then... for since I desire more contact with her and possibly others, and i even consider myself in love with her (that part was probably first.... before the encounter) I will consider myself bisexual and biamorous! Thanks for the opinions... it was pretty much what i was feeling but not sure really, where, I fell into the whole "spectrum" of things to use Zergs wording. You guys make me feel welcome. Thanks again!

 

[pegasuswrites2]

I look at myself as bi-curious rather than bi-sexual. Between the onset of puberty and my second year of college, I had a few bi-experiences along with a number of hetero ones. Since I married my wife over 30 years ago, I have never strayed in the physical sense and do not intend to. But I have masturbated regularily since I discovered what my mind and my hand could accomplish together.

My imagination is indeed, very healthy. So whenever I block out some personal time with myself, I enjoy an active fantasy life based on memories from my youth, the rare but occasional picture (usual hetero, but sometimes bi in nature), and often erotic stories (again usually hetero in nature, but sometimes bi).

I enjoy erotic email with either sex, but most often with men rather than women. Here also, and even with the men I have corresponded with in times past, erotic conversation tends more towards the hetero than bi, though I enjoy both. Occasionally, I have IMed with both men and women (well, they said they were women!) IM's tend to be yet again slightly more hetero in subject material discussed than bi.

So today I claim to be bi-curious rather than bi-sexual since I really don't intend to have a physical relationship with another man though I certainly enjoy emailing, IMing, and fantasing about it... just as I enjoy doing the same with regard to many sexual hetero topics that are of interest to me.

Humm... do you suppose that makes me "hetero-curious" since, aside from my wife, I intend to keep that out of the realm of the physical too? By my definition above, I guess it does!

So we each define the term "bi-curious" for ourselves, I suppose. And while I define it differently for myself than most, I'm sure, probably the way I would understand it were someone to tell me that they were bi-curious would be to mean that they have very little to no bi-experience of their own but are interested in it enough to want to find out for themselves whether in fact they are bi-sexual in nature.

...Just my thunks!Pegasus

 

[puddles38]

I personally feel the only difference is experience!

Angel

 

[queensrook2]

labels.

what about just "sexual"

 

[MissTaken]

Bi curious implies some uncertainty concerning whether you really want to be with someone of the same gender.

Bi would imply you do want that.

Zergplex's post makes a lot of sense to me. Before attaining experience, I used to say that I was a bi virgin.



And yes, queensrook2, why not just be sexual?

In a perfect world, that would be the case. However, labels serve a purpose when trying to identify your tastes and needs without going into a dissertation. But too often, people get caught up in labeling something that should just be hot, wonderful and beautiful.

 

[MzChrista]

Bi curious implies some uncertainty concerning whether you really want to be with someone of the same gender.

Bi would imply you do want that.

Zergplex's post makes a lot of sense to me. Before attaining experience, I used to say that I was a bi virgin.



And yes, queensrook2, why not just be sexual?

In a perfect world, that would be the case. However, labels serve a purpose when trying to identify your tastes and needs without going into a dissertation. But too often, people get caught up in labeling something that should just be hot, wonderful and beautiful.

Like you?

 

[tittenkitten]

To me, someone who is "bicurious" is not sure if they are attracted to the same sex or not, but has a real curiosity about it and is probably interested in experimenting to find out. If you've had sexual experiences with the same gender, and you continue to desire it, I would consider you bisexual.

Is one encounter enough to know? Maybe, maybe not. I would say it depends on each individual person's situation leading up to that one encounter. Also, I don't believe every bisexual is also "biamorous" as well.

i tend to agree with this statement as it is how i define bicurious when i think about my self
however i dont seem to be biamorous (yet) i havent longed for anyhearts and flowers type romance with women that i have with men

 

[Bitchslapper]

Well, I could give you the dictionary definitions, but those are usually dry and boring, so I'll put it in my own words.

Bi-curious to me means that you are attracted to the opposite gender, but that you have had "homosexual" fantasies (and perhaps one or two encounters) but you haven't decided whether you like it or not. That's pretty much what I think bi-curious means.

Bisexual means to me that you are sexually attracted to both genders and you are willing to have intercourse with either. IMO it can include being able to feel romantic love for both genders or not.

Bi-amorous is a relatively new word for me, but I would say from the looks of it, that it means you can "fall in love" with a member of either gender.

...aaand I think I just gave the dry, boring dictionary definitions.

 

[Pookie]

i tend to agree with this statement as it is how i define bicurious when i think about my self
however i dont seem to be biamorous (yet) i havent longed for anyhearts and flowers type romance with women that i have with men

I agree with BS's definition of biamorous. You may not be biamorous, but you can still be bisexual. I believe most bisexuals are not biamorous. It doesn't make someone any less bisexual though, IMO.

 

[Bitchslapper]

...I believe most bisexuals are not biamorous...

Oh whew! I'm normal (um, sorta). I wasn't sure, but I was afraid to ask.

 

[Zergplex]

Zergplex Says

I agree with BS's definition of biamorous. You may not be biamorous, but you can still be bisexual. I believe most bisexuals are not biamorous. It doesn't make someone any less bisexual though, IMO.

Yay! I'm part of the small minority that can fall in love with either sex! ^_^ I'm even more of a minority lol (just kidding)

-Zergplex

 

[WhisperHaven]

Too add to the blender of definitions, I believe that one can be bisexual without ever having gone through a curious phase.

I mean, most heterosexuals grow up knowing they are hetero. Many (if not most) homosexuals grow up knowing they are homosexual. Why would bisexuals be different?

I was bisexual and in heavy denial for years. I never went through a curious phase. The day I realized that I had been denying my feelings for years, I knew that I wasn't just curious about being with a woman. I was confident that when it did happen, it would be wonderful....and it was. (Unleashed a damn torrent of feelings!)

 

[kitiara]

I have to say that curious is when you haven't acted on it..

I consider myself curious because even though I have had oral with a woman and made out with them, I have not returned the favor.

Until I do and decide that it is for me..(which I am sure it is)..I will not call myself bisexual. I don't think it would be right to those that actually are bisexual.