The "Least Likely Events" Thread

[SnoopDog]

Snoopy: http://www.planetsmilies.com/smilies/mad/1/mad37.gif

http://www.planetsmilies.com/smilies/love/love54.gif

Snoopy, soory

 

[Lucifer_Carroll]

Least likely?

I would say that in my life time we get a presidential candidate who isn't a crumb bum. Someone who is intelligent, thoughtful, honest and has the integrity to turn down gazillions of dollars from special interests because he feels taking the money would create a conflict of interest. A man who has the foerign policy clout to bring people to the table, but also has the diplomatic skill to get things accomplished once they are there. A man who understands economics and bussiness well enough not to stifle growth, but also understands when regulation is not only prudent, but needed.

A man who even opponents can look to and say while I disagre with his politics, I respect the man.

I think that's least likely of all possibilities.

-Colly

Jimmy C?

Now the real least likely occurance. Ignorance and illogic are thrown out of culture for being embarrassments. Religion stops trying to destroy science and science stops bashing religion as "oudated". Liars and profiteers are quickly removed from office by a public that demands integrity and enforces it. Corporations under heavy duress of the new integrity stop cost-cutting, planned-obsolescencing, polluting, and downsizing-for-profit and start believing that "the employees are their greatest asset." All that and a Cubs/Red Sox World Series and we'll have enough snow down here to host the next Winter Olympics.

 

[rgraham666]

Re: Least likely...

5. Canada becomes the coolest place in the world to live.

Og

Canada is the coolest place on earth to live. Except for Outer Mongolia.

Oh wait. You said coolest, not coldest.

In that case, We're #1!

I love my country.

 

[shereads]

Re: Re: Least likely...

Canada is the coolest place on earth to live. Except for Outer Mongolia.

Oh wait. You said coolest, not coldest.

In that case, We're #1!

I love my country.

Save some room up there for us scofflaws, okay? It could be years before the neocons take you guys over, but I've donated to Greenpeace a couple of times and I know several members of the schoolteachers union, and either of those things could qualify me as an Enemy Combatant or a Potential Witness which is just as bad.

Gassin' up and headin' for the border,

SR

 

[CharleyH]

Anita Bryant becoming the National Spokeswoman for gay rights,
the discovery that Michael Jackson does indeed come from this planet, and a buffoon becoming President of the U.S.

Oh, wait. Strike that last one.

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

Least likely...

. . . Canada is looking better all the time . . .

Shereads moves to Canada.


Shereads commented about “Canada looking better,” which gave me the incentive to do some research into the country. Trying to excavate Canadian records I encountered a page on Famous Canadian Stars

Not counting Hockey or Curling players, they make up a fairly impressive list, although I am uncertain whether some of them aren’t world famous only in Canada. See how many you can recognize, but just be advised that — except for those nearest the end of the group — the traffic is mostly in the opposite direction to what Shereads is proposing.

* Dan Aykroyd * Conrad Bain * Scott Bairstow * Lothaire Bluteau * Hart Bochner * Lloyd Bochner * Tom Cavanagh * Tommy Chong * James Doohan * Roy Dupuis * David James Elliott * Dave Foley * Glen Ford * Michael J. Fox * Graham Greene * Paul Gross * Tom Jackson * Eric McCormack * Barry Morse * John Neville * Michael Ontkean * Matthew Perry * Gordon Pinsent * Christopher Plummer * Jason Priestley * Keanu Reeves * Devon Sawa * William Shatner * Donald Sutherland * Kiefer Sutherland * Alan Thicke* Pamela Anderson * Genevieve Bujold * Jackie Burroughs * Neve Campbell * Kim Cattrall * Tantoo Cardinal * Rae Dawn Chong * Wendy Crewson * Yvonne De Carlo * Shirley Douglas * Deanna (Edna Mae) Durbin * Megan Follows * Jillian Hennessy * Natasha Henstridge * Margot Kidder * Mia Kirshner * Mimi Kuzyk * Carole Laure* Lois Maxwell * Carrie-Anne Moss * Catherine O'Hara * Sarah Polley * Ann Rutherford * Monika Schnarre * Helen Shaver * Jennifer Tilly * Meg Tilly * Shannon Tweed * Fay Wray * Jim Carrey * Eugene Levy * Rich Little * Howie Mandel * Rick Mercer * Colin Mochrie * Rick Moranis * Mike Myers * Leslie Nielsen * Caroline Rhea * Martin Short * Dave Thomas * James Cameron * David Cronenberg * Atom Egoyan * Norman Jewison * Allan King * Ivan Reitman * Raymond Burr * John Candy * Jack Carson * John Colicos * Hume Cronyn * Colleen Dewhurst * Marie Dressler * Chief Dan George * Lorne Greene * Ruby Keeler * Florence Lawrence * Beatrice Lillie * Gene Lockhart * David Manners * Raymond Massey * Cecilia Parker * Mary Pickford * Kate Reid * Norma Shearer * Frank Shuster * Jay Silverheels * Alexis Smith * Dorothy Stratten * Al Waxman * Johnny Wayne *


PS — Other than he once played hockey, can anyone explain what is the significance of Tim Horton?

PPS — Any explanation why I found this on a page entitled “Halton Crime Stoppers” would also be appreciated, or does that involve some complicated national character trait involving the well-documented Canadian sense of humor?

 

[rgraham666]

Tim Horton's is a major doughnut shop chain here in Canada.

Doughnuts are our national food. There are seven times per capita doughnut shops in Canada as in the States.

There are three doughnut shops within five minutes walk of where I live. Nine within ten minutes.

And surprisingly enough, you rarely see a cop in any of them.

 

[cantdog]

That's true about the doughnuts. We do the same thing in northern Maine, where the culture is much like Atlantic Canada. If you go as far as Vermont you find a clear dropoff in frequency of doughnuts, and it begins right where the New England culture cline takes up.

 

[shereads]

Doughnuts are our national food. There are seven times per capita doughnut shops in Canada as in the States.

So? Do you have Krispy Kreme Donuts, which are essentially just a delicious fluffy circle of lard and sugary glaze? Because if you're talking about the so-called 'cake style' donuts, I'd rather have one Krispy Kreme shop, at the middle of the U.S., with a new rapid-transit train system directed there from points on both coasts for a cost exceeding your gross national product, than thousands of your silly Canadian donut stores.

The glaze on Krispy Kreme Donuts is so sweet, it hurts your teeth before you even get near it.

Now I'm hungry.

 

[shereads]

"Sweet tea."

The Southern U.S. begins and ends at whatever point on the highway, you are not asked by your waitress, "Sweet tea, or unsweet tea?" (Iced.) Yankee carpetbaggers and prodigal daughters use artificial sweetener in their tea; sweet tea has enough sugar in it already to power a Super Walmart.

 

[Guest]

Burley, you left out my all time fave Canadian: Glenn Gould.

Perdita

 

[Guest]

"Sweet tea."

The Southern U.S. begins and ends at whatever point on the highway, you are not asked by your waitress, "Sweet tea, or unsweet tea?" (Iced.) Yankee carpetbaggers and prodigal daughters use artificial sweetener in their tea; sweet tea has enough sugar in it already to power a Super Walmart.

LOL i havent heard that term in eons.. Yankee carpetbagger
you always surprise me Sher.

 

[rgraham666]

So? Do you have Krispy Kreme Donuts, which are essentially just a delicious fluffy circle of lard and sugary glaze? Because if you're talking about the so-called 'cake style' donuts, I'd rather have one Krispy Kreme shop, at the middle of the U.S., with a new rapid-transit train system directed there from points on both coasts for a cost exceeding your gross national product, than thousands of your silly Canadian donut stores.

The glaze on Krispy Kreme Donuts is so sweet, it hurts your teeth before you even get near it.

Now I'm hungry.

I've tried Krispy Kreme's doughnuts and I'm afraid I didn't like them very much.

Yes, they were lard and sugary glaze, but I don't much like either of those things.

Just my opinion, but this is an illustration of the one of the main differences between Canadians and Americans.

Americans seem to like extremes and Canadians regard that as trying too hard.

And Canadians like things understated and Americans think that's wimpy.

 

[Bizkit_Writer]

- England and Germany will meet in the final of the World Championship in football 2006 and after an awesome game England will win the cup ..... on penalties. ( this one's for you Lou )

- the next US president will be a chubby black woman who's neither a Republican nor a Democrat

- Michael Moore will produce all of the Repulicans election tv spots

- in the next Superbowl half-time show Britney Spears will expose both her nipples OR O.J. Simpsons will come on stage announcing he's innocent

Snoopy

I bet Britney would expose herself! Wardrobe malfunction my ass!

 

[cantdog]

The next U.S. president will be a chubby black woman who...

Oprah?

Michael Moore always said Oprah would kick Bush's ass in a debate. Hell, Rain Man could do that. And people believe she's for real! Under the "anybody But Bush" philosopy, she qualifies!

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

Burley, you left out my all time fave Canadian: Glenn Gould. Perdita

Just for Perdita

Who’s Glenn Gould?

Just kidding.

I didn’t forget Glenn Gould, the Halton Crime Stoppers page omitted to include him.

Speaking of ivory ticklers, what about Oscar Peterson



Edited to add: How could I forget Diana Krall?

 

[sincerely_helene]

Michael Moore for President!

 

[Guest]

Just for Perdita

Just saw this. Thanks, Burley. I have a framed photo of him in my hallway. He was an extraordinarily beautiful creature in his twenties. And his hands...

Perdita