The Leakest Wink

[horacethe3rd]

The Leakest Wink: Eddie and Maisie Hit the Jackpot

OCC Closed thread for Marvel and me if she can free my hand to allow me to type.

Eddie Martin and Maisie Aston-Martin embark on another romantic adventure or not.

 

[Maid of Marvels]

The lights went up and the cameras began to roll...

Maisie turned around and waggled her fingers at Eddie who was being urged to remain in his seat by other members of the audience. Blowing him a quick kiss, she turned back to await the barrage of questions that were about to be asked.

"Woo hoo! That's my wife up there!" Eddie nudged the elderly woman in the seat next to himself. Maisie Aston-Martin had been selected to play in the ever popular game show 'The Leakest Wink'.

The first lightning fast round ends with the contestants voting for the leakest wink.

"So, Maisie... Tell us why you chose Jeff?"

Maisie smiles proudly at being asked first, "Well, Nan. The creep's been staring down my cleavage since the rehearsals, and if I don't vote for him first, Eddie said he was gonna cast the first ballot back stage."

And so it went... Questions, eliminations and more questions until it was only Maisie and her opponent Frieda.

"Frieda, what part of the British Isles was dubbed the Land of Cakes?" "Scotland."

"Right. Maisie, what muppet is Miss Piggy in love with?" "Kermit!" Maisie does her best impression of a sack dance. "You go, girl!" Eddie hollers from the audience.

"Right. Frieda. Which US President's name was changed from Leslie King, Jr.?" "Martin Luther?"

"Um, no. Gerald Ford. Maisie, which famous sleeper was created by Washington Irving?"

"Rip Van Winkle! It's what I call Eddie after he's been out boozing." Maisie wiggles excitedly and blows another kiss to her lover.

"I see. Frieda, what nationality is speedway star Ivan Mauger?" "Erm.. Polish?"

"New Zealander. Maisie... Maisie!!" Maisie was busily blowing kisses to the people in the crowd. "Oops! Sorry!"

"Who did the Monkees try to cheer up in 'Daydream Believer'?" Maisie rolls her eyes. She can't believe how easy these questions are. "Sleepy Jean!"

"Baby, you bring home the bacon and I'll serve it right up!!" Eddie shouts in encouragement adding "That's my wife, Maisie!" once again to anyone who may not have heard the first fifty or sixty times.

"Okay, Frieda. You have to get this one right in order to stay in the game. What is the typical cruising speed of a housefly?"

"A mile an hour?" Frieda just knows that can't be right.

"No. FIVE miles an hour. Frieda, you're out of the game. Let's have a hand for our winner, Maisie Aston-Martin!! You have won $70,000!! Congratulations!"

Eddie ran up onto the stage, lifted Maisie in his arms and spun her around in a circle. "We're rich! We're rich!"

And so it went... Eddie and Maisie, $70,000 richer embark on their next series of adventures. (It was even bigger than the settlement Eddie got when he wrestled with the lobster on their honeymoon and successfully sued the owner of the property.)

 

[horacethe3rd]

what's cooking?

Maisie was lying in the new leather La-Z-Boy, her feet encased in little pink fluffy slippers. A picture of opulent decadence as she sat there eating strawberry bonbons that she delicately plopped into her mouth, occasionally she would gaze over and make eyes at Eddie as she did so. He was sat in the familiar old saggy sofa that was on the way out, to be replaced with a classy leather 3 seater Maisie had picked out from the store. He reminded himself to check it for loose change before they threw it out.

"Eddie do you need a beer lover?" a childlike tilt of her head as she asked.
"I'm ok sweety, you sit there and enjoy your soaps."

Days of Our Lives was on the Jumbotron and the last thing Eddie wanted to do was distract her from that. He would only have to divert his gazes from his baseball game to concentrate on that. Prepare himself for the eventual interrogation that would ensue after Maisie returned from the kitchen, be easier to just go get himself a drink if he needed one.

"Maisie?"
"Yes lover?" her eyes never moving from the Jumbotron.
"I really think we should do something with this money we got."
"My money you mean." correcting him with a smile on her face.
"You know what I mean."
"Yes what's yours is mine and what's mine is mine."
Eddie winked at her favourite little piece of female empowerment.

"What you thinking Eddie?" looking over at him as it was a break.
"Something that will last forever."
"What like last night when forever lasted 5 minutes?"
"I told you that bubbly does funny things to me."
"Bubbly, beer all does funny things to you Eddie." her gaze drawn back to the screen to watch an ad about an ab program,"Maybe get one of those for you huh?"
"Funny" he said through gritted teeth.
"What you thinking?" her voice growing agitated. "Do you have to make such a big deal the break is nearly over."
"Was thinking maybe seeing as you quit your job, I ain't too busy right now with the garage, we go on a holiday."
"Oh Eddie what a marvellous idea."
"Yeah." nodding to himself in satisfaction, "so I was thinking Disneyland maybe?"
"Oh Eddie no, think where we can go?"
"Disneyworld?"
"We can go all those romantic places."
"Like where? Buffalo?"
"BUFFALO!" her head snapping back as she said so, "I don't know what I saw in you Eddie Martin."
"I meant Niagra." thinking on his feet quickly Eddie retrieved the gaffe.
"No, we can go London, Verona, Florence, Athens, Rome all those places." she listed a whole more names but Eddie had stopped listening.
"I can't remember all them fancy names." this idea was beginning to cause him stress, "Just write where you wanna go down and I'll go book it."

The game finished in a rain out. Eddie grabbed his jacket and picked up the list Maisie had written and gave her a peck on the cheek trying not to block the view of the screen as he did so.
Before he closed the door Maisie called over to him,"Honey, now we're rich maybe we can get take-out every night now?"
"What do you want toots?" hoping she didn't want Mexican those funny names gave him problems remembering them.
"Kentucky?"
"Ok sweety the Colonel will be right back." Eddie turned to say more but her attention had shifted back to the argument on screen.

 

[Maid of Marvels]

Maisie leaned back in her recliner and settled into watching her soap operas. A commercial for Fugazzi Travel came on at the next break and she bit into another bon bon.

Visions of Big Ben and the changing of the guard in London; the Piazza della Signoria, Palazzo Vecchio, the Dome by Brunelleschi, the Bell Tower by Giotto and the Baptistery in Florence; the Fontana di Trevi, the Pantheon, St. Peter's Basilica in Rome; the Arena in Verona (the setting for 'Romeo and Juliet' and Maisie was crazy about romance stories); the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, the Acropolis, Hadrian’s Arch, the Temple of Olympian Zeus, and the Olympic Stadium in Athens...

What was keeping Eddie and the Kentucky Fried Chicken, she wondered briefly as the soaps came back on.

 

[horacethe3rd]

What size drinks sir?

Eddie looked at his watch again and it still didn’t look any better then when he last looked at it. Like a birthday cake made from ice cream this idea of a holiday looked uglier, the longer it took Eddie to blow out the candles on this idea. He’d been waiting 20 minutes already and the puck was being dropped in 10 minutes. To make this even more of an issue he had still to get the take out for dinner.

He looked over at the one girl in the shop who appeared to be doing any work. To her credit she seemed to care about how people’s holidays were planned but the 15 minutes she had taken to go over Mr Mandelbaum’s options of what airport to fly out of and what time was beginning to feel like an intricate torture technique.

Eddie didn’t know Mr Mandelbaum, not till he walked into the store but the fact that he was hard of hearing meant that everyone in the shop knew about his trip to Jamaica to that wife swappers resort.

Eddie placed a hand on his leg to still his agitation, which caused it to bounce up and down uncontrollably. Taking the list Maisie made out of his pocket he read out the tasks of the day over in his head.

Fill car with Gas

Buy Papers

Kentucky

Then the list of places underneath it each one triggering a memory of what she said while she was writing it.

Verona; she said something about 2 gays from Verona Eddie wasn’t too sure about visiting there.

Florence; WTF

London; A pea soup?

Rome; A lion show, must be like those 2 guys in Vegas Siegfred and Ray.

Paris; ...

And a list of other names too complicated for him to pronounce.

Finally Mr M seemed to be done and Eddie strode purposefully to the desk.
"Hello Sir, How may I make your dreams come true?"
Eddie thought about saying something about going out back with him but he really didn’t have time for playful flirting not if he was still to get to the Colonel’s and home.
"Hi, I need to go to Kentucky can we make this quick?"
"Righty ho sir, where would you like to go?" her happy demeanour did not slip at all.
"I got a list here." Eddie handed her the dog-eared scrap. Eddie watched as she lay it flat on the table as her hands smoothed it out.
"All the places I want to go are on that list."
"OK sir, I can do that for you."
"Here’s my number." Eddie handed her a business card for his garage.
"When do you want to travel sir?"
"End of the month," glancing quickly at his watch, "I just gots to get to Kentucky." He added absentmindedly as he began to head to the door not hearing the girl saying, "Yes sir, I shall expedite this for you straight away."

 

[horacethe3rd]

You wanted a diet right?

Eddie juggled with the keys as he closed the door behind him.

"Maisie, I'm home."
"That took ages." she said from the La-Z-Boy, "We all booked?"
"She is gonna call me when it is done." Eddie replied
"Well done sweetie now toss me a leg."

Eddie placed the bucket on the table, rolled up his trouser leg and placed his bared leg in front of her.

 

[Maid of Marvels]

Ten minutes til the Rangers game...

But Maisie knows they have time to eat and fool around a bit before the game starts. Who is she to refuse this godlike man with his leg in her lap?

Some few minutes later...

Eddie fights to stay awake as the game begins and Maisie whispers in his ear, "God, Eddie. That was the most passionate six minutes we've had in a long time."

"Uh huh," he replies and belches loudly, giving her a sideways air kiss as an afterthought. He didn't want to miss a moment of this game. He had a huge bet hanging on it.

Maisie began to daydream about their trip to Europe as Eddie wondered how he would be able to get the games in over there.

 

[horacethe3rd]

The label read…

Eddie was up early for no particular reason for once Maisie wasn’t barking at him at the crack of dawn to move himself so that they could get down to the store to take advantage of some coupon special. That was a nice side effect of her winning the Leakest Wink. She liked to say now she was a woman of leisure she could pick and choose when to go shopping. Except the picking of a moment to actually go shopping was taking a while for her to make. Apart from the Jumbotron and the few sticks of furniture she hadn’t gone out to do much shopping.
Another noticeable change was that she had not ventured into the kitchen for a while. He never thought he would say it but he was beginning to miss her home cooking, the way she could make those oven chips taste or microwave that popcorn. Jokingly he had asked her whether she was ever gonna take the garbage out or just buy a new bin when she filled the old one. You can imagine how pleased Eddie was when he came home one night to find a brand new spanking bin in the kitchen. Maisie had bought it from the Home Spending Channel, somehow it was meant to have been impregnated with a new enzyme which ensured it never stunk of rubbish but ever since Eddie threw up in it a week ago, well you can guess. It wasn’t his fault all that fancy food she made him eat unsettled his stomach. He’d told her she should have ordered him Ranch Dressing instead of that fancy Blue Cheese dressing on his salad but she wouldn’t listen and she still bawled him out in the morning when she saw what he had done to her technologically advanced bin.
Eddie walked down the front steps towards the newspaper that lay on the lawn. Then shuffled over to the mailbox and shoved his hand in as it reached around for the collection of letters and catalogues, Eddie looked over the street to the Dooley’s house hoping to catch a glimpse of their young daughter Nancy in her bedroom window, no luck though. He drew his hand out and scrutinised the collection of promotional crap and noticed an envelope from the travel agents. Excellent he thought to himself, he could wake Maisie up with the surprise and maybe she wouldn’t moan at him to finally fitting on that new antique reproduction Georgian toilet seat that arrived the same day as the new bin.

 

[Maid of Marvels]

Good morning, Sunshine!

Eddie crept into the bedroom where his curler-coifed Maisie lay spread-eagle across the middle of the bed, her pink satin sleep mask askew and her nightie twisted high above her waist. The letter from the travel agent fluttered to the floor as he lowered his boxers and crawled back into bed.

Inching his way up between her thighs he could feel his sweetie beginning to stir. His fingers ruffled over her mound like a gentle breeze on cornsilk, gently rousing Maisie from her sleep. "Mmmm... Eddie," she purred as he parted her puffy outer lips with his thumbs and buried his face within her silken folds.

"Uh huh," he murmured back as his tongue swept over her, swirling, circling, teasing her to a shuddering orgasm. Moving up her body, he raised himself.

"Ohhh, Eddie... Honey... " The sound of her voice, a breathless whisper spurred him onward. He gave out a low manly growl, his turgid member poised to enter her steamy depths.

"Did you put the new toilet seat on yet?"

"Awww... Maisie... Sweetie... Can't it wait for just a sec? Can't you feel how much I want you? Need you?" he pleaded as he rubbed the head of his cock between her nether lips.

"Eddie Martin! Is that all you think about? Sex?" Maisie chided her husband as she flicked the tip of his rapidly shrinking member with her fingers. "I've been waiting days for you to put that seat on. I'm tired of having to squat over the toilet."

Eddie looked at his wife in surprise. "Why do you squat? I sit right bang down on top of it."

"Well maybe I'd be willing to sit on it if I knew you'd hit the bullseye every time!"

"But... but... "

Maisie stood up and looked down at Eddie who was laying on his belly with his head buried in a pillow mumbling something about shrinkage. She began to feel badly. Eddie was one of the sexiest men she had ever been with, he just wasn't the most motivated sometimes.

Picking up the toilet seat from the place it occupied next to the nightstand, Maisie began a sexy dance for her man, lifting the seat cover up to give him a glimpse of her hidden parts every now and again. He had covered himself with the quilt, but she could see a tent forming as he watched.

Maisie guessed it wouldn't hurt if she gave him a little bit of pleasure before he put the seat on, so she handed it to him and burrowed under the covers, crawling up between his legs. Eddie pushed the quilt back to watch her as she flicked her tongue over the glans before parting her lips and slipping her mouth down, taking in the length of his erection.

"God, Maisie... That feels sooo good, baby" he whispered, pushing up into her mouth. He could feel himself swelling. Heaven. Sheer heaven, he thought as he lost himself in the moment.

"Dad! Where are you? We're here!"

Good grief, it was the girls and two of the Eddie Juniors. As the door began to open, Eddie picked up the toilet seat and slammed it down over Maisie's head to hide what she was doing.

"Wh.. whatcha doin' here so soon, kiddos?" he sputtered as he tried to move Maisie. She seemed so still, but he couldn't check with the kids there.
"Our moms dropped us off early. Isn't that GREAT??"

"Erm... Yeah!" he said, his face turning a brighter shade of red than it already was. "Tell you what. Go back downstairs and see if Maisie is around. I'll be right there."

 

[horacethe3rd]

How high?

He edged up the side of the bed towards her, as he was about to place his arms around her "If you think I am going out like this? YOU! Have another thing coming MISTER." Maisie said to him over her shoulder. Eddie shuffled back up the bed and engrossed himself in fiddling with the lock on the suitcase.

Eddie placed the bags at the bottom of the bed while Maisie sat on the end of it silently scrutinising her face in the dresser mirror that was opposite the bed. Eddie sneaked a peak at it, when it happened he had assured her that it wasn’t that bad, but he kept to himself his own thoughts that it looked like it was gonna be a real beauty of a shiner. Add the remnants of that bruise on her forehead that she had got in her concussion a week ago and she didn’t look much like a happy tourist.

He tried a half-hearted smile but she still was not talking to him. In fact she hadn’t talked to him since the plane mishap, she had left him to deal with the tricky transfer from the airport to their hotel in Florence. Luckily it wasn’t that complicated as the guy spoke some English and he was more then happy to accept dollars for payment.

********************************

"Hey sweety wanna join my club?" he whispered into her ear

"Which club is that?" Maisie leaned closer in so his lips touched her lobe.

Eddie winked and nodded towards where the toilets were. She half stifled a giggle as she caught the nun looking over at her. Maisie sat back in her chair and thought to herself that maybe they were right to go ahead with the trip, her concussion wasn’t getting any worse and maybe a change of scenery would be good.

Erm, later...

A nasally voice came over the tannoy "CAN all passengers please return to their seats and secure their seatbelts as the plane is coming in to land."

His head jolted back from what he was doing "Get dressed the plane is coming into land" Eddie said hurriedly as he got up from his knees. Quickly patting himself down checking his attire. Maisie hopped off the baby-changing table and smoothed down her skirt.

"You go first, I’ll follow after." Maisie said.

"Good thinking Batman."

"Love you…" she leaned in to kiss him but she caught air as Eddie was already out the door. She shrugged disappointedly and turned to the mirror to check herself before exiting right.

Halfway down the aisle Eddie remembered he had left his money belt with all their passports in the toilet he rushed back to the toilet. Pushing past the queue of 8 people his hand reached out to push the door open. At that same moment Maisie pulled back the door and walked straight on to it, knocking her backwards onto her back.

"Oh MAISIE! Are you ok honey?"

After Maisie is revived...

"We will get some ice for you ma’am." The stewardess had a less then approving look on her face.

Eddie sat trying to avoid eye contact with any of the disapproving looks that some passengers were shooting him. What made it harder was that there was a party of nuns sitting in the seats next to Eddie and Maisie. Eddie tried to involve himself in the safety guide but soon put it down, as the faces of the figures appeared to be laughing at him. He mumbled half to himself that it was a bit much that everyone on the plane had applauded the ignominious walk back to their seats.

"How does it look Eddie?" Maisie asked

"OK, not bad" he lied.

The stewardess returned with some ice for Maisie.

"Erm miss? How come if we are landing other people can walk around?" Eddie enquired

"We don’t land for another 1hr and also because they will use the toilet for what it is intended, Sir!" she said curtly.

Maisie punched his arm after the stewardess left; "Do you have to make this worse?"

"Sorry." he tapped a cigarette out and was just about to light it, when a stewardess walked by and tut tutted to him that it was a non-smoking flight.

 

[Maid of Marvels]

Maisie gingerly touched her swollen eye as she looked at herself in the mirror. She could see Eddie glancing surreptitiously at her from the corner of his eye when he thought she wasn't looking. She knew that he didn't mean to hurt her, and was actually starting to feel badly about the whole thing. He was just so damned cute and cuddly.

"Eddie... "

Eddie sat up very straight in the understuffed dusty rose upholstered chair. He guessed it was about time for that other shoe to fall. "Yes, sweety?"

"Do we have anything cold to drink?"

Eddie stood up proudly. At last he'd done something right it seemed. "Yup! There was a store at the airport. Can you believe they had Busch Light there? Even them guido's know that it may not be the best beer, but dammit it's cheap and it'll getcha drunk. Oh, and I got you some diet Coke."

Maisie slipped her arms around Eddie and kissed him. "You really are the bestest, Eddie. You know that? Where'd you put it?"

With an elegant flourish of his arm, Eddie indicated a small refrigerator under the counter. Maisie hadn't really noticed before now, but there was a small kitchenette in their room. There was even a coffee maker! "None of the motels we ever went to back home ever had kitchens."

As Maisie bent over to get a beer and a Coke out of the fridge, Eddie moved in behind her, grinding his pelvis hard against her bottom. She couldn't help giggling as she recalled the last time he tried that. "Oh. Sweety... " he protested once again. "Honest. I swear I didn't know it was the maid. Can't we just forget about that once and for all?"

"Of course, Lover" Maisie cooed as she wiggled back, quietly shaking up his can of beer. Eddie reached around her and she placed the can in his hand as she stood up and moved away.

"I'm feeling a little better about things now, honey" she said as she opened her Coke and poured some out into a glass. "Think we might take in some of the sights? I mean... this IS Florence, after all."

"Why sure, ba... " Eddie began to sputter as the beer spewed like a fountain from the can, soaking him completely.

Maisie blinked her eyes innocently. "Wow, Eddie! That must have really been shook up on the ride over here." She dabbed at his face with a towel and continued on. "You know.. This is a pretty neat little fridge. Think we might get one for the bedroom at home? Then you wouldn't have to go all the way downstairs for a beer if you get thirsty in the night."

 

[horacethe3rd]

Fairy tales at midnight

Their entrance was unavoidable the male slammed face first into the door, pushing when he should have pulled. The noise of flesh hitting glass puncturing the solitude I was contemplating in the bottom of the coffee cup. I looked up and focussed my gaze on the woman partly because of her black eye. Mostly because she spoke first and her nasally words to her male double cut through the occasional static of another fly in the trap and much like that electric charge seemed curt and sharp. Once I had time to look at her eyes when she spoke I could see they had the look of a never ending kiss about them. He leaned into her as they stood at the counter waiting for their order and appeared to whisper something in her ear. They had the appearance of a comfortable pair of socks curled up against each other. As a pair they reminded me of the painting where those lovers engaged in a kiss were prised apart with a wrench.
They took a booth 2 away from me sitting across from each other with the man’s back to me. They engaged in a well-grooved vein of conversation bouncing their words off of each other like a child kicking a tennis ball off a wall.
"I phoned George today, checking if everything was ok."
"Was it?" she asked idly as she swirled her spoon around her sweet’n’low.
"Fine….though he said he had words with Bart."
"Get away." Scrunching her face. "George is too mild mannered."
"He did, said he ended up punching him."
"George couldn’t fall out of bed, let alone fall out with anyone."

I’d stepped out to get a coffee leaving Wes and Laura to fiddle with the flat pack bed. Friday nights for generation-x approaching 30 had evolved from meeting in a bar and then hitting a club to meeting at a friends to assemble furniture fuelled by coke at midnight. This horrific realisation of on setting middle age produced a need for solitude and maybe it was the solitude I had to endure daily which made watching them bed their nest harder. Then this pair of baby boomers stumbled into my silence, once again holding up a mirror before my eyes.

A quiet woman who I hadn’t previously noticed drops a plastic container that rattles as it rolls towards the couple. As the man bends down to pick them up and he glances at them before handing them back.
"Are these yours?" he asked
"No my husbands."
"Heart disease?" the quiet woman just nodded, "has he had an op?"
"He’s already had one."
"How long is it good for?"
"15 years max."
"Then what?" the woman with the black eye looked on as her male compatriot carried the conversation.
"Well they can put another in, but it won’t last as long."
"Uh huh lots of meds too."
"So many he rattles." Shaking the bottle at the same time. The woman with the black eye smiled sympathetically.

Absentmindedly I listen to their conversation as I spur my spoon round the rim of the cup to collect any remaining froth. I begin to feel like I have had an overdose of Novocain as their conversation numbs me with its inanities. The quiet woman has a husband who is dying; the man she talks to empathises with her as he has a brother who is dying. I feel like I am dying with them as I listen to their pleasantries about each respective condition. The rally of platitudes goes back and forth over the garden fence they have erected between the tables. Can’t avoid the feeling that this is some artificial kind of community where their lives are thrust together never to meet again.
Somehow I always miss out on this kind of social knitting maybe I am the human version of a dropped stitch. Their conversation loses my attention as I bat around another thought that rears into view. Then I am drawn back by the crashing sound of their empathy collapsing.
"It is like a recurring cycle." The quiet woman says
"Like sticking your finger in a dike." The black-eyed woman says
"What?"
"You know the boy who stuck his finger in the dike." The man tries to explain.
"I don’t think I know that one."
"You know the dike sprung a leek and the boy plugged it with his thumb."
"I don’t really like blue jokes."
"It’s not a joke."
"What this actually happened?"
"No it’s a fairy tale. The dike you know."
"Not really."
"Kind of like a dam, they have them in Holland."
"Oh I see, yes I get you." Making the necessary sounds of comprehension the quiet woman got up to leave. "Oh well nice talking to you." She said as she left.
"I hope you live to the end of your meal." I say under my breath as the man turns to attack a hamburger.

Ade always gets involved in these passages of social happenstance, getting involved in some weird confessional session with cabbies. I am sure he enjoys the insight into others pitiful messes of lives. Rather then using it as grounding in the social unit it makes him feel better that his life is not so fucked up. He once told me that he had counselled a cabbie for 30mins after he’d arrived at his destination. I asked why he didn’t just get out? He answered that this guy’s misery was too fucked up to leave without Ade clambering all over exploring every nook and cranny. He added that the guy let him off a fiver on the fare when it was probably Ade who should have tipped the guy an extra tenner for the pleasure of observing the train wreck of his life in minute detail. I put out my cigarette checked I had all my belongings and got up to leave, there was nothing else to see here. Back to Wes and Laura and their argument over whether a bolster or cushions was better for lying against as they read their Sunday papers in bed. As I passed the couples table I noticed the black-eyed woman smiling at me as I left.

 

[Maid of Marvels]

What a good looking guy...

Maisie thought to herself as the stranger walked past. She always did get hot around Italian guys and this one was no exception.

The conversation with the woman whose husband was ill all but forgotten... "Hey, Eddie?"

"Uh huh, sweetie," he said absent-mindedly. She knew he was wondering how he was going to get to watch the Rangers play tonight. Knowing Eddie, he'd find a way.

Maisie grinned, "How 'bout those RedWings, huh?"

"Uh... what?" Eddie glared at her. "Traitor! Heretic! You always DID like my bro best."

"Got your attention, didn't I?" she smirked and almost spit her coffee across the table at him.

Eddie arched an eyebrow. "I knew I should have brought a mack. I'm gonna have to wean you off that coffee. You just can't handle the stuff, Maisie."

That was enough to send her over the edge. The mouthfull she had left went spraying from her mouth. Luckily it missed Eddie who just sat there grinning smugly. "Here's a napkin, Mais."

"Dammit, Eddie Martin! You are such a smart ass. You did that to me on purpose!"

Eddie leaned back in that self-contented way of his and took a drag off his cigarette. "Hehehe... Me? What did I do? Oh. OH! I can't believe you are going to put the blame for this on ME! You are evil, pure and simple, Maisie Aston-Martin."

Maisie snorted as Eddie continued. "Now what was it you were going to say?"

She had wiped up most of the coffee at this point and was trying to remember where this conversation had actually begun when she heard the waitress asking if they would like anything more. "Coffee, sweetie?" Eddie asked with a grin.

"NO. No thank you. We'll just have our check please," Maisie replied and suddenly remembered what she was going to say in the first place.

"Eddie?"

"Uh huh, sweetie."

"Did you notice that everyone speaks English here? I mean... We're in Florence Italy and we haven't met anyone that speaks Italian."

"Uh huh. Well, that's just because they don't want to seem rude. You CAN hear their accents though, can't you?"

 

[horacethe3rd]

Is that on again?

Relationships are built on many things attraction, being able to trust in each other, sexual desire and its fulfilment. Equally maybe even more important the communal realisation of the powerful bond between the two parties. That both of the people understand their partnership and place upon it the same weight of importance and credence in it. This was one of those times when she would have to show her belief in not only herself but also Eddie and move all of her chips onto red and hope the spin of the wheel of love didn’t land on double zero. She was going to have to steel her resolve to say and to do the hard things that might send tremors to the very foundations of what they shared.

It had reached that point where Maisie could no longer stay quiet. Her first night on this dream break to Europe could have been to the moon for all she cared, whilst she was nursing her black eye and the impending migraine. She thought she had imagined the sounds of ESPN as Eddie watched the TV but when it was on every night they had been in Florence at the same time it would have been on when they were at home doubts had begun to arise.

Now as they were readying to board a bus to go to Verona she couldn’t hold her tongue any longer. The heat rose from the tarmac, which was tacky against her shoes. Her floral dress fluttered when the driver revved the engine. She watched Eddie running to the edge of the bus lot to take one more picture of a water tower before they boarded the bus. He had already snagged the window seat in a game of paper, scissors and stone. Celebrating the victory with a leap and punch of the air, he didn’t want to miss any more water towers on their journey. About the only thing they had seen in abundance on this trip none of the historical sites she had seen and dreamed about so many times on the Discovery Channel.

She smiled to herself as Eddie bounded back to her like a great big St Bernard he landed a great big sloppy kiss on her as he crashed his way onto the bus. She turned and looked around herself one more time before boarding the bus. Doing her best Southern belle accent she muttered, "My, my, my" as she climbed in to the air-conditioned comfort of their transportation. How long should she wait before she turned up the heat and told Eddie that he had screwed up royally?

 

[Maid of Marvels]

As the Greyhound took off with a rumble...

leaving a cloud of exhaust fumes in its wake. Maisie pulled out the latest copy of 'Soap Opera Monthly' while Eddie kept his eyes trained on the passing scenery in hopes of spotting another water tower. She smiled to herself. He was pleased by the simplest things in life and just rushed through life, oblivious to things around him. He hadn't even questioned the fact that the water tower near their motel said 'Welcome to Florence Y'all'. Yes, this was Tuesday, but it was NOT Italy.

Eddie leaned toward her. Maisie felt his breath, hot on her neck as he nuzzled against her sending tingles down her spine. "Hey, Sweetie. Wanna join the 'Mile LOW Club'?" he murmured as he slid his hand under her dress and up her thigh.

Maisie set her magazine aside and turned to this man who held her heart so firmly in his grasp. She gazed deeply into his eyes. "After our efforts to join the 'Mile HIGH Club', love... I'd probably end up as roadkill."

She patted his hand and picked her magazine back up. Feeling slightly dejected, Eddie leaned against the window as his arm slipped and he smashed his nose on the glass.

"Jesus, Maisie! Now I've got a nose bleed," he whined. Maisie nodded sagely and pointed out the window at the remains of an animal decomposing on the side of the road.

"Now tip your head back and relax," she said matter-of-factly as she pulled some Kleenex from her purse and began to minister to his injury.

 

[horacethe3rd]

Road to nowhere

Blared out from a passing car Eddie half turned to look at it as he rubbed his sore neck which had been acting as a shock absorber as he slept with his forehead pressed to the bus window. He closed his eyes as he rubbed the crick in his neck, at the same time hoping he could wish away the silence that had descended upon Maisie since his offer to join the Mile low club.

Being the intuitive guy he was, Eddie could tell that she was upset because she had read that copy of 'Soap Opera Monthly' four times already on this holiday and during those four revisits she had completed all the available quizzes, crosswords and word search puzzles. Problem was that although Eddie now knew all the answers for the Maria Rives quiz (the main vamp) from a French soap ‘Chateau D’Amour’ which Maisie had got hooked on once they had got an extra 50 channels on cable after her Leakest Wink win. He could not fathom what was gonna happen next to Maria Rives in ‘Chateau’ or what it was exactly, that Maisie was peeved at.

Eddie drew the video camera that was strapped around his neck up to his face and pressed his eye to the viewfinder. Before he had focussed on any of the panorama or pressed the record button he let out a loud ‘manly’ (least he hoped it was) yelp as he jumped back. If you had observed him from the other side of the rest stop you could have assumed he had been shot with a stun gun as his arms and legs flailed around independently of each other. If you had ever seen Eddie dance you might even have confused it for that, he wasn’t nicknamed Riverdunce without reason.

Whether you knew him or not, being that far away though you would have missed the trail of drool stretching from his eyebrow to the viewfinder of the camera which was the reason for this involuntary public spasm. This pool of drool had been collecting in the viewfinder from the moment Eddie had closed his eyes on the bus and begun dreaming of his Rangers. Who happened in this dream, to go all the way to the Stanley Cup finals behind the phenomenal play of a 35-year-old rookie, who had come out of nowhere named, well I figure that you can guess his name.

This trail of drool lengthened as the camera flew away from his body as if it had met its negative pole. Then as quickly as the trail of drool lengthened it reached the point of maximum viscosity and it snapped sending mini droplets up into the air. This reversed the poles and returned Eddie to a positive state, which drew the camera back towards his body at an increasing velocity. The remaining arc of drool attached to the viewfinder the tail on a comet headed to Eddies’ mass.

In the time it would take to blink an eyelid Eddie had thrown the camera away from his body, had it splash down in his balls and then collapsed on a heap on the car park tarmac. Shocks of pain shot out from his wounded manhood as he lay on the warm tarmac watching Maisie as she walked towards him. Till her flowery dress was refracted like a stain glass mosaic caused by the pain emanating from where the video camera smacked him in the nuts or the residual drool from his eyebrow which dripped into his eyes and blurred his vision.

 

[Maid of Marvels]

Maisie lifted the brim of her floppy sunflower-adorned sisal hat and looked over the rim of her sunglasses at her husband where he was lying spread-eagle on the pavement.

"Eddie, Eddie, Eddie... " Her voice was sad but undercut with a cold-as-steel tone that made him wince.

"Hey, sweetie!" He squinted but it was to no avail. Everything was a blur, even Maisie's gams, which always looked best when she was wearing spikes like today. Damn! He couldn't even get a peek up her dress.

"Eddie Martin, it's time we had a little talk. No. A BIG talk." When Maisie took her sunglasses off completely, poor Eddie knew for certain that he was really in for it. He struggled blindly to his feet and tried very hard to focus.

"This is NOT Florence," she ranted. "It's NOT Italy. Hell, we aren't even in EUROPE! Look at the license plates on the bus, Eddie. Kentucky. Friggin' Kentucky!"

Eddie winced as his eyes finally focussed on Maisie. And Maisie's hand. Curled up into a tight fist. "Maisie? Honey?"

"Florence. Verona. Rome. PARIS!! I didn't mean KENTUCKY, Eddie. I meant EUROPE. You've really fucked up this time. What the hell were you thinking??"

Eddie tried to duck. He really did. But he wasn't fast enough. Maisie's fist connected with his right eye and she turned on her heels, hips swaying, as she made her way to the magazine stand of the bus station.

"God, she's got a great ass!" he murmured to himself as he called out after her. "Maisie? Maisie, sweetie? You just punched me in my eye!"

 

[Guest]

A new broom

Estelle Bezem a tanned middle aged woman looked up from her lap to see where the sounds of a slanging match was coming from. At first she had to crane her neck so she could see who exactly the woman was shouting at. Initially she thought it was a child the woman was berating till the man stood up. As soon as it had started it ended and the two parties split and the woman walked off, Estelle watched the man stand wiping tears what looked like tears from his face, following him to where he sat down on the curb analysing his navel.

 

[Maid of Marvels]

Maisie was furious...

but more than that, she was hurt. Maybe she ought not to be. Eddie Martin always meant well. He didn't have a mean bone in his body. It was just that "stuff" always seemed to happen when Eddie thought he was in control.

Thought. Now that was another thing. It wasn't that Eddie didn't think. Eddie thought too much. He was always twelve steps ahead of himself. Just forgot to catch up.

Unless it came to sports. He even followed that weird one... Takraw, a cross between soccer and volleyball that was played in a doubles badminton court. Truth was, Maisie didn't mind being a "sports widow". They even shared a certain camaraderie while he watched the games and she fiddled around with whatever her latest distraction was. He got so excited when the Yankees scored a goal! He said it was almost as good as sex.

Sex. Now THAT was ANOTHER thing. He was hot for sex, but you couldn't get much done during a commercial break. Sometimes she could distract him and he'd forget about the cheerleaders during halftime and give her a fling. But when there were NO games on... (not even Kite Dueling or Elephant Soccer), Eddie was a wild man in the sack.

Maisie loved him more than life, but she was beginning to wonder if it was worth the effort it entailed.

Putting down the magazine she had been idly leafing through, Maisie looked through the plate glass window of the bus depot. Eddie was sitting on the curb with some leggy dame.

"Sure," she grumbled to herself. "That's right, Eddie. My heart is broken, we're stuck in the middle of Nowheresville, Kentucky and you're crying the blues to some strange broad. Well it doesn't bother me ONE BIT! You hear that, Eddie Martin?? Not ONE BIT!"

"Ma'am. Is there a problem?" The elderly woman behind the counter asked with concern. Maisie blushed and put her head back into the newest issue of Soap Opera Digest as a tear rolled down her cheek. She hadn't realized she had been talking aloud.

 

[horacethe3rd]

A new light

The sun was directly behind her head so for an instant Eddie thought it was Maisie coming to come pick him out of the gutter. Then she spoke again and the voice was unmistakably another woman.
"You ok, hun?" Trying to compose him self and think of a witty reply Eddie stared at the floor before looking up and blankly nodding. Out of the sunlight he could make out the edges of a smile and some wisps of hair.
"This might sound like I a pain but can you help me dear? I need to put a box in." A hand shot out in the direction of a big 4X4. Acknowledging the request Eddie stood dusting his butt down as he did, not so much to remove any dust but in an effort to try and increase some blood flow. It had grown steadily numb as he sat on the curb. Last thing he wanted to do was keel over from pins and needles in front of this stranger.
"Thank you sweetie." She touched him on the arm as she said it whilst playing with her hair with her other free hand.

For the first time since this encounter had begun Eddie noticed she had a funny way of speaking all sweetness and light. All of this touching as well. Quickly realising how this might look, he scanned the horizon trying to see if Maisie might be spying on him, another ear bashing he could do without. The woman sashayed to the back of the 4x4 and opened the trunk where she seemed to struggle with a large box after a few futile attempts to get it into the van her head leaned out from the side and smiled at Eddie, who smiled blankly bank.
"Erm the box?"

 

[Guest]

Like pulling teeth…

The great lummox looked blankly at Estelle before wandering over; he seemed to have totally missed all of the body language she had been throwing out to him. In the end Estelle had to lead him by the hand to the back of the car and bend him over to pick up the box and put it in the car.
"This do you?" he asked
"A bit further in hun, I have a couple more stops."

Estelle looked around to see if anyone might be observing then reached for something in her handbag which was on the floor.
"Here let me give you something for your help."
"No, no it is ok." But before he had finished Estelle had placed the gauze across his face and he was collapsing into the back of the van. His baseball hat, which had the message "Mechanics like it lubed", rolled out the back of the car and onto the tarmac.

Estelle covered the body with a blanket, closed the back and climbed into the 4x4 and drove off speedily.

 

[Maid of Marvels]

Maisie couldn't help it...

curiosity and not a little bit of jealousy got the best of her. She put down the magazine and marched out the door toward where Eddie was talking to that... that... bimbo.

Her heels clickety clacked on the pavement as she headed toward where Eddie... Her attention was temporarily drawn away from her mission by the sound of squealing tires as a 4x4 pulled out of the station like it was headed for a fire.

"Asshole," Maisie shrugged and looked around for Eddie. He was nowhere to be seen as she approached the place where she had seen him last.

"What the hell??" Maisie leaned down to pick up Eddie's cap which was laying on the ground.

"Eddie?" she called out, wondering where that fool of a man had gotten off to.

"Greyhound bus number twenty five, departing for Rome and Paris, Kentucky leaving in five minutes."

"Shit! We're gonna miss the bus!" Maisie hurried over to the busdriver. Maybe she could get their luggage off the bus while she hunted down that miscreant husband of hers.

 

[Maid of Marvels]

Oh where, oh where has my little Ed gone? Oh where, Oh where can he be?

Maisie was beside herself. First she searched the bus completely, even under the seats and up in the luggage racks. No Eddie. Then she searched the luggage compartment under the bus. Still no Eddie.

Finally, she convinced the bus driver to unload their luggage even though the other passengers seemed to think she should just go on without him. See the world. Be all she could be. But mad as she was at the big galoot for disappearing, Maisie just couldn't do it. So it was that Maisie waved goodbye to the folks on the bus as it pulled out of the depot, then sat down on her largest suitcase to wait for him.

She waited... (patiently)

and waited... (grumbling)

and waited some more... (swearing)

It started to get dark when Maisie realized that Eddie was gone. Really really gone. Now what??

The image of the 4x4 squealing out of the station kept popping into her head. Did he take off with that floozy? Nah. Yeah? No way! Maybe?

Maisie got up from her perch in a huff, halfway in between worried and furious. The cops. She needed to call the cops. Looking around for a phone, Maisie dialed 911 and spoke evenly to the person who took the call.

"He's gone. His hat. Mechanics like it lubed. A bimbo. Then a 4x4 squealing. The bus and the luggage rack. All day. Now it's late. Time for his dinner." The dispatcher didn't understand a bit of what Maisie said, but told her to hang in there and that someone would be out asap.

 

[Tibxo]

OOC: Enjoying your thread by the way.

 

[Maid of Marvels]

Carpe Ductem... Seize the Tape!!

http://www.Bibracte.dreamwater.org/ATWAS/ducttapelovers.jpg
Okay, horace... I've got plenty of tape now so stock up on some internet cards!

To date: Eddie is missing! (Though I am perfectly certain that HE knows where he is, we are looking for someone to play the Detective in our story. Maisie needs to find her man.)

Please PM or IM me if you are interested in going along on a completely off-the-wall adventure which began long ago on a thread called The Apartment...A Place for Lovers where Eddie and Maisie spent their honeymoon. (It begins at the bottom of the page.)