The lazy route, some general tips that helped/frustrated me a lot in writing

[oncemorewithfeeling]

Just a post I can refer to, so I can concentrate on more specific feedback.

40 words to loose from your narrative, free after Natalia Leigh’s video on writing

This drove me up the wall editing my story, but I couldn’t ignore the improvements once I rewrote my lines. Do note these are guidelines, sometimes the narrative’s pacing dictates otherwise, and it doesn’t concern the dialogue.

The
You'd be suprised at how often you don't need it. See the strike-through above.

That,
Try to rewrite the sentence and see if it runs better without it.

Just, almost, hardly, nearly, at first, simply, only.
Limiting modifiers only in dialogue, making a character indecisive

Actually, basically, clearly, certainly, literally, absolutely.
These words are redundant most of the time

Really, so, very.
This is what they talk about when show, don't tell is mentioned. These words can signify your verb isn’t descriptive enough.
‘He ran really fast’ vs ‘he sprinted’

Quietly, slowly, quickly, carefully, extremely.
Adverbs describing how something is done. Another show, don't tell. Try to find a verb that doesn’t need the adverb.
‘she walked quietly’ vs ‘she tiptoed’

Suddenly, all of a sudden.
Lose them and let the characters reaction to the action portray the surprise

See, feel, hear, look, think, touch, wonder, realize, watch, seem, notice.
Filter words, watching a character instead of being the character.
‘She felt his lips touch hers’ vs ‘His lips touched hers’

Whispered, growled, yelled, snapped.
Dialogue tags are to be used sparingly, if pacing commands it. This is another one of those show, don't tell things. Use dialogue and character/scene description to convey emotion. Use ‘said’ if you need to show who is talking.
"Don't," he growled vs His face contorted with an ugly sneer. "Don't," he said.

Another method I used is letting Word (or your preferred text to speech program) read the story back to me. Convoluted sentences, pacing problems and errors stuck out like a sore thumb.

 

[AlinaX]

I use 'that' quite a lot, even in ways where it could technically be omitted. However, it is one of those words I'm conscious of when writing. 'So' is a fundamentally useful word, as is 'very'.

'Suddenly' torments me. The temptation to use it arises constantly, and offloading some of the work onto 'abruptly' does not lessen the problem significantly.

I would actually disagree about 'whispered' and 'growled'. These do convey immediate information about tone. ("You're mine," he growled, his eyes bright with lust. "Fuck," I whispered; as badly as I wanted him too, this was not good.) But, yes, easily overused.

 

[oncemorewithfeeling]

I would actually disagree about 'whispered' and 'growled'. These do convey immediate information about tone.

And I agree with your disagreement. Sometimes the pace dictates it. It's walking a fine line, which once overstepped by overuse starts to irritate. I think it is because we don't really read 'says' and 'said'. They are more like punctuation, indicating characters, while any other dialoge tag reads as a word, descriptive, like you said.

 

[AwkwardlySet]

I am hardly someone with vast experience or knowledge on the topic, but I always find it amusing when personal opinions or writing styles are presented as truths. Stylistically speaking, there is no "right" way to write. There are many viable styles and preferences and you will always find readers claiming preference of this or that style.

 

[oncemorewithfeeling]

I always find it amusing when personal opinions or writing styles are presented as truths. Stylistically speaking, there is no "right" way to write.

Well, I said guidelines, but the brevity does make them sound like rules. Writing is much like any other art, some like Picasso, others prefer Rembrandt. I do think that these (and other) guidelines assist in writing easy to read, clear narratives. A skill I'd love to have without the endless editing.

 

[lovecraft68]

Over the years I've eliminated most of those, if not during the flow, during edits.

I disagree with whisper, growled etc

If everything becomes 'said' you'll be beating that word to death and it conveys no emotion from the speaker.

Another thing I see in a lot of these writing vids and how to books(King most famously) is the evil of adverbs.

I guess whoever created the English language just created them for no reason? They're useful, but its a case of moderation.

On a personal level I long ago shut off anything after the words "Stephen King says"

 

[lovecraft68]

Well, I said guidelines, but the brevity does make them sound like rules. Writing is much like any other art, some like Picasso, others prefer Rembrandt. I do think that these (and other) guidelines assist in writing easy to read, clear narratives. A skill I'd love to have without the endless editing.

Give Jenna Moreci a watch, she's really good and she's funny as hell.

 

[AwkwardlySet]

Well, I said guidelines, but the brevity does make them sound like rules. Writing is much like any other art, some like Picasso, others prefer Rembrandt. I do think that these (and other) guidelines assist in writing easy to read, clear narratives. A skill I'd love to have without the endless editing.

I understand, of course. Some of these videos and tutorials, and there are so many one can find all over the internet, cross the line between suggestions "how to write in a certain way/style" to outright telling "this is how you should write and not like that"
One more example from the rules you posted that came from that video: To sprint as opposed to running really fast.
It is not the same thing by far. To me, sprinting means that maximum burst of speed that you are capable of, like in 100 meters races. Now many people can't hold that sprint even for those 100 meters, so saying something like: "He sprinted to the hospital." Sure, if the hospital is across the street, but otherwise no, and in those cases saying: "He ran really fast to the hospital." can be much more sensible, as one can run fast without going all out as in sprinting. Maybe my understanding of that verb is wrong, but that is how I see that particular case.

 

[oncemorewithfeeling]

One more example from the rules you posted that came from that video: To sprint as opposed to running really fast.
It is not the same thing by far. To me, sprinting means that maximum burst of speed that you are capable of, like in 100 meters races. Now many people can't hold that sprint even for those 100 meters, so saying something like: "He sprinted to the hospital." Sure, if the hospital is across the street, but otherwise no, and in those cases saying: "He ran really fast to the hospital." can be much more sensible, as one can run fast without going all out as in sprinting. Maybe my understanding of that verb is wrong, but that is how I see that particular case.

Perhaps we can agree over "He ran to the hospital as fast as he could"?

 

[lovecraft68]

I understand, of course. Some of these videos and tutorials, and there are so many one can find all over the internet, cross the line between suggestions "how to write in a certain way/style" to outright telling "this is how you should write and not like that"
One more example from the rules you posted that came from that video: To sprint as opposed to running really fast.
It is not the same thing by far. To me, sprinting means that maximum burst of speed that you are capable of, like in 100 meters races. Now many people can't hold that sprint even for those 100 meters, so saying something like: "He sprinted to the hospital." Sure, if the hospital is across the street, but otherwise no, and in those cases saying: "He ran really fast to the hospital." can be much more sensible, as one can run fast without going all out as in sprinting. Maybe my understanding of that verb is wrong, but that is how I see that particular case.

I understand your point, especially as someone who understands what a sprint is, but sometimes I feel things fall under how it sounds as opposed to outright accuracy. "He ran really fast" sounds childish.

Now I'd make a case for "He quickly made his way to the hospital" but then I'd get yelled at by the adverb police.

As for the videos I stick to the term guide. There's a lot of useful tips, and you can learn a lot, but I take from them what I think helps me and leave the rest.

 

[AwkwardlySet]

I understand your point, especially as someone who understands what a sprint is, but sometimes I feel things fall under how it sounds as opposed to outright accuracy. "He ran really fast" sounds childish.

Now I'd make a case for "He quickly made his way to the hospital" but then I'd get yelled at by the adverb police.

As for the videos I stick to the term guide. There's a lot of useful tips, and you can learn a lot, but I take from them what I think helps me and leave the rest.

Well, I agree that "He ran really fast" sounds like teenager wrote it, but I was using it because it was one of the examples that OP mentioned, in those exact words. I would maybe write " He raced to the hospital." or simply "He ran to the hospital." as it conveys enough urgency to my ear. It's not like I wrote "He jogged to the hospital."

 

[AlinaX]

Adverbs are fine - although! When used with dialogue tags, they do stick out like sore thumbs.

"How are you?" he asked compassionately.
"Ok," she replied noncommitally.
He frowned. "Don't you mean 'Okay'?" he insisted pedantically.

 

[lovecraft68]

Adverbs are fine - although! When used with dialogue tags, they do stick out like sore thumbs.

I agree when in that type of usage, especially if its something the author does frequently.

 

[AlexBailey]

Perhaps we can agree over "He ran to the hospital as fast as he could"?

He ran pell-mell all the way to the hospital and butst through the emergency-room doors.