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Scuttle Buttin' said:
Heh. I found the review I wrote for 30 Days of Night. Reading it again gave me a laugh, so.. I'll put it here, cause why not? You're, of course, under no obligation to read, or even act like, you read something I wrote... wow, way back in 2007.


The vampires show up, I assume, on a boat (this is something you see in literally the first shot of the movie, so it's not a spoiler), although in reality, they just.. show up. Poof, vampires. And I guess the guy who goes tromping through the snow in the beginning after seeing the boat is the guy who helped them get there, or maybe gave them the idea to get there, or maybe he's just their groupie and they recruited him to go cause some destruction before they arrived. Prepare the way, I guess. He served literally no purpose except to be creepy in the jail cell, though. I mean, I guess they killed him so he couldn't tell anyone that they really exist or whatever, but more importantly... if they can't speak English, how the fuck did they tell him what they needed? And why didn't they kill him to begin with? The character existed in a complete and utter vacuum. I think his name in the credits was actually Plot Device. They probably just called him Mr. Device, though.

As for Hartnett, they could've used a cardboard cut-out of Josh Hartnett, saved a lot of money, and received the same performance. He was, apparently, the sheriff with the older guy as the deputy, although why this was the case I have no clue. Apparently the town was small enough to only need an Andy Griffith-like two cops. Also, what the hell kind of a name is Eben? It's like his mom wanted to name him Evan, but was just a little too retarded to say it right. Maybe birth certificates use voice recognition up there.

And Hartnett's wife/girlfriend/fiancee was just... where to even begin with her. She's a fire martial of some kind, sure, whatever, but when asked if she's allowed to carry the gun, we're given the fantastic reasoning of, "I never really asked." Oh. Well thank God they didn't have to deal with THAT when writing the screen play. I'm surprised she didn't carry around a jug of Holy Water because, well, it just makes her feel closer to God. And then, of course, she misses her plane. Why? Because some douchebag drove a GIANT FUCKING TRACTOR into her truck, completely out of the blue. It's like they were going:

"Now we can't let her catch her plane, so how do we stop her?"

"How about her truck is hit by a tractor!"

"But wouldn't the driver of the tractor see her coming?"

"He got something in his eye and decided driving out onto the road with his giant blade leading the way, without looking for oncoming cars, was a much better idea."

"So we should show him rubbing his eye and starting to hit the break and then going, 'Ah, fuck it,' and driving into the road?"

"Absolutely! If it just happens suddenly, it'll be far more scary!"

"Aces!"

Seriously. What the fuck was that?

And then, she finally DOES get to the airport, after Cardboard Sheriff's deputy apparently wasted time for some random, unknown reason, and she can't fly out... BECAUSE IT'S ALREADY DARK!!!! Apparently this place is SO isolated that they haven't yet received the technology to FLY IN THE DARK. How they didn't all just randomly, accidentally kill themselves long before the vampires got there is a mystery to me.

Speaking of the vampires, is it possible to have a villain with less depth? I don't think so. They speak another language, though why or how, we have no idea. Do they also know English? They know they word God. And apparently the word "no." Although, to be fair, it could be like English and Spanish, where the word "no" applies in both languages. Maybe it's just a universal word. They've been around for centuries, but only now thought, "You know, there's a place that is dark for thirty whole days! We should go there!" To be fair, though, maybe before they just... didn't really ask.

Every other character is basically just a walking plot device like Mr. Device was. There's the Old Man who's, of course, crazy and so decides to go find his wife or whoever. There's the Son of the Old Man who has to go after his father, alone, without really wearing anything warm, because, gee golly, it's better if we're eaten alive together! There's the Mom of Cardboard Sheriff, who's there to give him something to be upset about when she's eaten. There's Grizzly Old Man, who's an asshole until the chips are down and then he takes out a bunch of vampires and sacrifices himself in the process, showing us that he's really a good guy at heart (and a side note... can someone explain to me how the fuck he blows up that building with a box of dynamite THAT IS SITTING AT HIS FEET, and yet after the initial explosion still comes tumbling out of the building, not only in one piece but with all his hair. I want to see the MythBusters tackle this one.). There's Random People Wandering Down the Street, who wander randomly simply to give Our Heroes an excuse to go out into the open to try to save them.

I could go on... the vampires trying to cover their tracks was utterly ridiculous, the turbine thing (muffin muncher? it was muffin something, but I don't remember it sounding that perverted) in the power station, which someone was OBVIOUSLY going to fall/be pushed into (they should've just called it the people/vampire killer), the final fight when the vampires apparently decided to start fighting like the Power Rangers, one-on-one.

Anyway... the more I think about this movie, the more ridiculous it becomes. I should probably stop before I end up at the theater, asking for my money back. Heh.
Click to expand...

*skim, skim, skim, yawn.*

*grins, slinks away with a giggle*

:heart:
 
SiaKlynn said:
Whiskey...now we're talking... but I'm an Irish whiskey drinker especially in the winter.



Whhhaaaaat? No, that was a decent vampire movie!

:)



Bad Boys are the two movies of his I really super like and I don't care how poorly reviewed they are! Some movies just entertain me.

He is an adolescent filmmaker with a few good action flicks.



Hahaha....:p

You don't need to get me blindly drunk though I am hilarious and fun. It's me turned up to 11.
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I don't need to get you blindly drunk, but that doesn't mean I don't want to get you blindly drunk... :D


Honestly, I think Bad Boys was more about Will Smith and Martin Lawrence and their chemistry together than it was Michael Bay and his abilities, or lack thereof, as a film maker.
 
Scuttle Buttin' said:
Heh. I found the review I wrote for 30 Days of Night. Reading it again gave me a laugh, so.. I'll put it here, cause why not? You're, of course, under no obligation to read, or even act like, you read something I wrote... wow, way back in 2007.
.....
Click to expand...

Yeah, that's a lot of stuff I don't feel like reading.
 
Scuttle Buttin' said:
I don't need to get you blindly drunk, but that doesn't mean I don't want to get you blindly drunk... :D


Honestly, I think Bad Boys was more about Will Smith and Martin Lawrence and their chemistry together than it was Michael Bay and his abilities, or lack thereof, as a film maker.
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:::laughs::: Just take care me the next day....I don't get bad hangovers but I do feel the need to eat the next day.


I feel the same Smith and Lawrence have a great chemistry, so when there is talk of a Bad Boys III I say.....hell yeah! LoL
 
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SiaKlynn said:
:::laughs::: Just take care me the next day....I don't get bad hangovers but I do feel the need to eat the next day.


I feel the same Smith and Lawrence have a great chemistry, so when there is talk of a Bad Boys III I saw.....hell yeah! LoL
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Are you talking greasy spoon-style eating, or something wholesome and good for you? I can do both!

It makes me laugh to look at the original Bad Boys, because Martin Lawrence was actually billed ahead of Will Smith in it. That would just never happen today.
 
SiaKlynn said:
I avoided the Clash remakes and I'm not keen on a Highlander remake. Ugh. Just stop!!
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*Whispers* There can be only one!

I'm planning to take a bunch of like minded highlander fans (ie the only media that counts is 1st movie, tv show, and endgame. 2-3, Source, The Raven and the two animated ones - seriously how does one family line end up with FOUR GODDAMN IMMORTALS?! - are garbage) to see the movie and the second it gets unbearable we stand as one, say the line and then march the hell out.

Remaking Highlander is like remaking Scarface - bad bad bad ideas.
 
Scuttle Buttin' said:
Are you talking greasy spoon-style eating, or something wholesome and good for you? I can do both!

It makes me laugh to look at the original Bad Boys, because Martin Lawrence was actually billed ahead of Will Smith in it. That would just never happen today.
Click to expand...

Well back then Lawrence was a big time comedian and Smith wasn't the number one box office draw. :)

I like to start out greasy spoon and then end with healthy with plenty of water an maybe an alcoholic beverage in between.
 
SiaKlynn said:
Well back then Lawrence was a big time comedian and Smith wasn't the number one box office draw. :)

I like to start out greasy spoon and then end with healthy with plenty of water an maybe an alcoholic beverage in between.
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You gotta go greasy spoon after you've been drinking! Especially late at night.

It's the only time it's really acceptable to eat at Denny's.
 
AngelofDeath said:
*Whispers* There can be only one!

I'm planning to take a bunch of like minded highlander fans (ie the only media that counts is 1st movie, tv show, and endgame. 2-3, Source, The Raven and the two animated ones - seriously how does one family line end up with FOUR GODDAMN IMMORTALS?! - are garbage) to see the movie and the second it gets unbearable we stand as one, say the line and then march the hell out.

Remaking Highlander is like remaking Scarface - bad bad bad ideas.
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You know I'm pretty tolerate of remakes and such, but there are limits in my mind and this is one of them. The other is the original The Crow. No, you don't remake. Period. These are cult classics and shunning is the only action.

Psycho is a perfect example I will forever dislike Gus Van Sant for that pile of necessary shit. UGH!
 
Scuttle Buttin' said:
You gotta go greasy spoon after you've been drinking! Especially late at night.

It's the only time it's really acceptable to eat at Denny's.
Click to expand...

So very true and the only time you will see me at Denny's. Some greasy food and water before bed will often stop the hangover at most you're more tired the next day.

It's also the only time I drive thru Del Taco or Jack in the Box.
 
SiaKlynn said:
So very true and the only time you will see me at Denny's. Some greasy food and water before bed will often stop the hangover at most you're more tired the next day.

It's also the only time I drive thru Del Taco or Jack in the Box.
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*eyes the clock*

This conversation has me craving Captain and In N Out...
 
BeautifulDream said:
Now I feel like watching Highlander.


Damn it...
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dooooo iitttttt


The_Spectre said:
Shhhhh, don't give them any ideas.
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Already in the works unfortunately.

SiaKlynn said:
The other is the original The Crow. No, you don't remake. Period. These are cult classics and shunning is the only action.
Click to expand...

I might have been more able to respect the idea of a crow remake if the reason given hadn't been such horse shit. The set up for the original movie and premise do not need to be modernize.
 
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