The Isolated Blurt Thread VII: 7th Heaven

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i'm gonna go mow like maybe a third of my lawn. fricking lack of rain/ weird parts of my lawn that keep growing and growing while the rest of it turns brown and crispy.
 
I don't mind 'em. But I can't eat crab as it is, cos it looks like a hard spider.

*oops, nearly lost a mouthful of wine!*

i can't help but imagine a spider acting all macho
it has tattoos and is standing with its legs really wide apart
 
*oops, nearly lost a mouthful of wine!*

i can't help but imagine a spider acting all macho
it has tattoos and is standing with its legs really wide apart

Yeah. Squaring up to you and doing that jaw thing Ray Winstone does!
 
I remember meeting Pete's horse.

Pete said to me, I'll give you 50 bucks if you can make that horse laugh.

I went over to the horse, whispered in his ear, and the horse starting lol'ing.

Pete asked what I told him.

I said my grill was bigger than his.

Pete then said, I'll double it if you can make him cry.

1 minute later the horse is bawling his eyes out.

Pete said, what did you do?

I said, I showed him my grill.:cool:

Silver says hello.
 
Or gibbering twats.

Checking out a new Indian tomorrow night butters. And been told to try Mongoose beer. I shall get hammered. Am in the mood forrit.

Wish Chunks could be there. :(

we want pics and a review!

oh, a joke:

There are two Mexicans who have been lost in the desert for weeks, and they're at death's door (which is just outside Guadalajara). As they stumble on, hoping for salvation in the form of an oasis or something similar, they suddenly spy, through the heat haze, a tree, off in the distance.

As they get closer, they can see that the tree is draped with rasher upon rasher of bacon. There's smoked bacon, crispy bacon, life-giving juicy nearly- raw bacon, all sorts.

"Hey, Pepe" says the first bloke (Don Pedro). "ees a bacon tree!!! We're saved!!!"

"You're right, amigo!" says Pepe.

So Pepe goes on ahead and runs up to the tree salivating at the prospect of food. But as he gets to within five feet of the tree there's the sound of machine gun fire, and he is shot down in a hail of bullets.

His friend quickly drops down on the sand, and calls across to the dying Pepe.

"Pepe!! Pepe!! Que pasa hombre?"

With his dying breath Pepe calls out.... "Ugh, run,amigo, run!! ees not a Bacon Tree"
.
.
.
."ees... a....
Ham bush"
 
we want pics and a review!

oh, a joke:

There are two Mexicans who have been lost in the desert for weeks, and they're at death's door (which is just outside Guadalajara). As they stumble on, hoping for salvation in the form of an oasis or something similar, they suddenly spy, through the heat haze, a tree, off in the distance.

As they get closer, they can see that the tree is draped with rasher upon rasher of bacon. There's smoked bacon, crispy bacon, life-giving juicy nearly- raw bacon, all sorts.

"Hey, Pepe" says the first bloke (Don Pedro). "ees a bacon tree!!! We're saved!!!"

"You're right, amigo!" says Pepe.

So Pepe goes on ahead and runs up to the tree salivating at the prospect of food. But as he gets to within five feet of the tree there's the sound of machine gun fire, and he is shot down in a hail of bullets.

His friend quickly drops down on the sand, and calls across to the dying Pepe.

"Pepe!! Pepe!! Que pasa hombre?"

With his dying breath Pepe calls out.... "Ugh, run,amigo, run!! ees not a Bacon Tree"
.
.
.
."ees... a....
Ham bush"


Ahahaha. I like that! :D
 
i think i may have overestimated my completely made up yard percentage. oh well. i got something done today. yay me.
 
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