The "I have no idea why I'm posting this" thread

[PacificBlue]

I'm going to try some shock therapy on myself and see if it works...here goes.

I suffer from obsessive compulsive disorder...what does this mean you ask? I wash my hands WAY to much and I worry about insane things to the point where I drive the few around me who know about this absolutely nuts. I truly do feel bad about that, I honestly don't mean to.

It only started about two years ago now. One day I was fine and the next day I was worried about the germs on door handles, money, faucets, etc. I can tell you that my fears are irrational and yet I can't seem to stop. I have this urge to go downstairs at this very moment and wash the door handle although I know that it's most likely clean and any germs that were on it are quite dead by now.

I have spent hours crying over this trying to figure out how to make it stop. I've been to Dr.'s and tried medications...nothing seems to work other than forcing myself not to give in to my fears. I want to wake up tomorrow and have it be all better or at least understand what happened to the part in my mind that's betrayed me. I have it narrowed down to 1. Too many stressful life events in one year caused me to find something I could have control over. 2. A very bad flu a couple months before this started (there is some research out there that says it could be the cause...my Psychiatrist told me about it)

The worst part of all...trying to hide it so that I appear "normal" whatever that is

 

[april-wine]

Keep your chin up PB, you can conquer this.......

Ever need an ear.........or a shoulder.......just PM away

 

[freakygirl]

PacificBlue

I'm so sorry to hear that you suffer from this. My aunt does too. She just won't admit it. She can't leave her house without checking every door and every window several times. She has a ritual that is ungodly. She washes her hands until they bleed.

She won't get help, and it sounds like you are trying. Keep your head up and keep on the track you are on. Please try not to get discouraged. Things will work out. It just takes time and most of all patience.

I have no answers, as I have no real knowledge on this subject. Except for what I've read in a few of my medical books. I do know people learn in some way, to control this behavior.

If you need anyone to vent to email me

*hugs and prayers*

Jennifer

 

[ranajja]

Someone close to me went through this at an obnoxiously young age, like at 5 or 6. Hands washed until the skin was raw, and rinsing like you see doctors do on the hospital shows, and hold the hands up until you reach the towel. If anything was touched between the sink and the towel, oh no! Hands had to be washed all over again, with many many many tears of anger and frustration.

She conquered it. I'm not sure how, but she did.

 

[Rubyfruit]

I feel for you honey.

I think we all have OCD tendencies lurking just below the surface. I know I do.

Please try medication again. Try to find the right doctor who will work with you.

I've never been on psychotropic medications in my life ... until this year. The stress of raising an autistic son and 2 year old twins and two cross-country moves within 10 months nearly did me in. However, the events of 9/11 did it. I flipped. I couldn't sleep. I cried all day. It was awful. I finally went to my doctor and got on Paxil. Within a week I was feeling better. Centered.

When life changes occur that are traumatic, your body chemistry can go out of whack. There is no shame in remedying that.

Ruby

 

[PacificBlue]

I've been down the medication road and I have a great psychiatrist. He's willing to try different combinations, different levels. I did ok on medication. I would prefer to use behavior modification techniques than go down that road again soon. I will if I have to but I'm going to hold off for awhile. I didn't like the "drugged" feeling.

I've been under some stress the past few months and that could be the cause of my lapse backwards. What's amazing to me is that just a few short years ago I lived in a dorm with 20 girls on a floor and we all shared the same bathroom. Did germs ever cross my mind, Heck No! I never thought a thing of it. That's what bothers me the most is that I can remember a time where I didn't do this.

 

[Problem Child]

My advice is this: don't wash your dishes for two weeks. Eat off the same plates every day. Drink out of the milk carton. Leave hambuger out all day then fry one up and chow down. Drink out of the same disgusting dirty glass every day. Don't go to the doctor when you get a cold. Never wash your hands, even after you use the bathroom. Kiss a sick person. After a month you'll still be alive and germs won't scare you anymore. Worked for me.

 

[Rubyfruit]

... Worked for me.

Did you have OCD, PC? I have heard of this type of "shock therapy," that's why I ask.

Curiously,

Ruby

 

[Laurel]

That's called the Bachelor Lifestyle Cure, btw. Or Bachelorette, as the case may be. Also - leave your clothes in a pile in the corner of your bedroom. Every morning, sniff them till you find the least odorous garments. Wear those.

 

[Problem Child]

That's called the Bachelor Lifestyle Cure, btw. Or Bachelorette, as the case may be. Also - leave your clothes in a pile in the corner of your bedroom. Every morning, sniff them till you find the least odorous garments. Wear those.

I do.

Seriously though...G. Gordon Liddy tells a great story of how he was afraid of rats and mice when he was a kid. His father basically told him to stop being a pussy and face his fears and overcome them. So little Gordon went down to the waterfront and caught a rat. Then he made a little campfire and roasted it and ate it. No more rat-O-phobia.

 

[Laurel]

I was deathly afraid of - of all things - slugs. Then we moved to Oregon for a year and I met REAL slugs - 8" long, 1" thick buggers. Nightmare slugs. Now, those 1" long wimpy gray So Cal slugs don't frighten me at all.

I think (though I'm no expert) that OCD is physiological problem, not a psychological problem. So don't beat yourself up over it, PB. Just get info on it from everywhere, get in touch with support groups, and keep pressing the doctors till they give you the meds that work.

 

[Problem Child]

That must be why you didn't go to school at UC Santa Cruz.

 

[Laurel]

You have to admit that a slug is NOT a proper mascot. Who could be intimidated by a slug? Besides me, I mean.

 

[Rubyfruit]

You have to admit that a slug is NOT a proper mascot. Who could be intimidated by a slug? Besides me, I mean.

Slugs and snails don't bother me. As a sometime gardener, I find that I relish in setting beer traps for them. Or, as an alternative, I used to grab the snail and hurl the poor thing into the street for a sure death by tires.

I know, I'm cruel. Hey, it was my tomatoes or the snails. Guess who won?

Ruby

 

[Cheyenne]

You have to admit that a slug is NOT a proper mascot. Who could be intimidated by a slug? Besides me, I mean.

Me. Because I'm not sure I've ever actually seen a slug and they sound way too close to being like snakes to me.

 

[InSaNe]

Slugs and snails don't bother me. As a sometime gardener, I find that I relish in setting beer traps for them. Or, as an alternative, I used to grab the snail and hurl the poor thing into the street for a sure death by tires.

I know, I'm cruel. Hey, it was my tomatoes or the snails. Guess who won?

Ruby

But tomatoes are always much more fun to throw