The "I don't want to talk about AI" thread, and the new topic is: literary euphemisms

[Off_base]

Seeing as fewer people than I thought want to talk about boobs...

I got a flurry of new follower last night. Strange to get so many all at once, since I haven't published anything for a month:

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But what I'm most curious about is being followed three times by the same person. I'm wondering whether there was a cryptic warning from an old washerwoman by a stream that I should have listened to. Like that Irish king who was told, "Don't follow three Reds to the house of the Red."

I've had two similar cases in the last week, both were "following" notifications, that appeared twice.

 

[SimonDoom]

You know, with boobs being boobs, and men being men, I'm surprised we ever evolved beyond the stage of caves and fire. Probably the most convincing argument ever that most societal improvements in human history were either driven by women, or else accidental.

The way I see it, boobs and bits are what got men out of the cave in the first place and spurred on civilization.

Urg: Come on baby. Another peek. Just a nipple. Please?

Urga: Hell no. Not until you bring me another woolly mammoth shank.

What inspired the first art? Probably Urg perving on Urga's boobs. And drawing pictures of all the animals he claimed to kill to show off for Urga.

Urg built Urga a house so she could show off her boobs and bits to him in private, out of sight of the prying eyes of his pervy brothers.

 

[Trionyx]

“And this positively infantile preoccupation with bosoms. In all my time in this wretched, godforsaken country, the one thing that has appalled me most of all is this preposterous preoccupation with bosoms. Don't you realize they have become the dominant theme in American culture: in literature, advertising and all fields of entertainment and everything. I'll wager you anything you like: if American women stopped wearing brassieres, your whole national economy would collapse overnight.” J. Algernon Hawthorne

I’ll give my entire Literotica earnings for the year to the one who can first tell me where the above quotation came from.

 

[SimonDoom]

“And this positively infantile preoccupation with bosoms. In all my time in this wretched, godforsaken country, the one thing that has appalled me most of all is this preposterous preoccupation with bosoms. Don't you realize they have become the dominant theme in American culture: in literature, advertising and all fields of entertainment and everything. I'll wager you anything you like: if American women stopped wearing brassieres, your whole national economy would collapse overnight.” J. Algernon Hawthorne

I’ll give my entire Literotica earnings for the year to the one who can first tell me where the above quotation came from.

It took me 30 seconds to find, but I assume you are looking for someone who knows it off the top of their head. I did not, so I won't say it.

 

[SimonDoom]

On a semi-serious note, the thing about the obsession with boobs and bits is, you don't grow out of it. That surprises me. At 20 years old, I probably would have thought (if I had thought of it, which I probably didn't) that 60 year old me would have "grown out" of the silly preoccupation with simple visual obsessions like that. Nope. It's not so. And now at 60+ I see that as a good thing, because I see sexuality as a source of life and vitality and youthfulness. A woman's body is the most beautiful thing there is. I do often wonder "what's the big deal with boobs?" but I have no answer other than to admit, "Yep, they're a big deal."

 

[Trionyx]

Yeah, with Siri and her ilk at your fingertips, no question like this will ever be unanswered for long. But it’s a great funny quote with more than a shred of truth to it. Fun movie to sit back and watch sometimes.

 

[Five_Inch_Heels]

Only Boobs are more than a bit hung up on boobs.

 

[Trionyx]

On a semi-serious note, the thing about the obsession with boobs and bits is, you don't grow out of it. That surprises me. At 20 years old, I probably would have thought (if I had thought of it, which I probably didn't) that 60 year old me would have "grown out" of the silly preoccupation with simple visual obsessions like that. Nope. It's not so. And now at 60+ I see that as a good thing, because I see sexuality as a source of life and vitality and youthfulness. A woman's body is the most beautiful thing there is. I do often wonder "what's the big deal with boobs?" but I have no answer other than to admit, "Yep, they're a big deal."

It’s such a cultural phenomenon, though. The cavemen did not and remote ‘undeveloped’ societies even today do not obsess about boobs. They are functional parts of anatomy that are used to keep the youngest of the next generation alive. No mystery when every woman has them and every man can see them all day every day.

 

[y=mx+b]

On a semi-serious note, the thing about the obsession with boobs and bits is, you don't grow out of it. That surprises me. At 20 years old, I probably would have thought (if I had thought of it, which I probably didn't) that 60 year old me would have "grown out" of the silly preoccupation with simple visual obsessions like that. Nope. It's not so. And now at 60+ I see that as a good thing, because I see sexuality as a source of life and vitality and youthfulness. A woman's body is the most beautiful thing there is. I do often wonder "what's the big deal with boobs?" but I have no answer other than to admit, "Yep, they're a big deal."

It's actually a point of mild frustration with me. I thought for sure that my interest in boobs and bits would have waned by now and I'd have taken up a greater interest in woodworking or auto mechanics.

 

[JuanSeiszFitzHall]

“And this positively infantile preoccupation with bosoms. In all my time in this wretched, godforsaken country, the one thing that has appalled me most of all is this preposterous preoccupation with bosoms. Don't you realize they have become the dominant theme in American culture: in literature, advertising and all fields of entertainment and everything. I'll wager you anything you like: if American women stopped wearing brassieres, your whole national economy would collapse overnight.” J. Algernon Hawthorne

I’ll give my entire Literotica earnings for the year to the one who can first tell me where the above quotation came from.

The film "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World." Spoken by the British actor Terry-Thomas (I always saw his name hyphenated that way, maybe it was his last name), I believe to the character played by Milton Berle. No, I didn't look this up. I saw the movie when it first came out, in a theater that had been altered to show Cinerama (an eventual dead end in the effort to get people away from their televisions and into movie houses).

 

[Trionyx]

JSFH wins it all, all $0.00.
What? You get paid to submit stories here?

BTW, it is a fun movie featuring cinematic icons.
Worth tracking down and consuming with a bag of popcorn and your favorite beverage.

 

[MrPixel]

The film "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World."

I love that movie. It was filmed around the area where I grew up, so I have a blast recognizing most of the locations. It was all within a couple of hours driving from Hollywood, so of course they could easily recruit name talent.

 

[MillieDynamite]

Yeah, feeling the new topic. Both places. It's my body, I'll touch it if I want.

 

[PennyThompson]

Yeah, feeling the new topic. Both places. It's my body, I'll touch it if I want.

when you've got boobs, you're never without a fidget toy!

 

[Statius]

when you've got boobs, you're never without a fidget toy!

So does every guy with a hand in his pocket

 

[MrPixel]

The old Chinese proverb: "He with hole in pocket go around feeling cocky all day."

 

[Statius]

The old Chinese proverb: "He with hole in pocket go around feeling cocky all day."

Precisely

 

[StillStunned]

So does every guy with a hand in his pocket

Pocket billiards, as we used to say.

 

[stickygirl]

when you've got boobs, you're never without a fidget toy!

Not sure if I'd want to see how fast I can make my nipple spin, but hey...

 

[MillieDynamite]

Cold whipped cream makes my nips sooo hard.

 

[stickygirl]

Cold whipped cream makes my nips sooo hard.

I only have whipped cream comes out my left nipple. The other one has non-dairy yoghurt.

Do you guys spell yoghurt 'yoghurt'? Because you say it like Yo-Gert!

 

[onehitwanda]

I only have whipped cream comes out my left nipple. The other one has non-dairy yoghurt.

I wish I could unread this.

 

[crookedletter]

Do you guys spell yoghurt 'yoghurt'? Because you say it like Yo-Gert!

Yogurt. But it's already getting semantically satiated, just reading your post.

 

[Bamagan]

I only have whipped cream comes out my left nipple. The other one has non-dairy yoghurt.

Do you guys spell yoghurt 'yoghurt'? Because you say it like Yo-Gert!

I wish I could unread this.

Does it help if you imagine the nipple making the same sound as when using one of those whipped cream canisters?
*ssssshoooorrrrrk*

 

[Bramblethorn]

I only have whipped cream comes out my left nipple. The other one has non-dairy yoghurt.

I used to date a witch who also had soy.