The "I don't want to talk about AI" thread, and the new topic is: brushes with Death

[StillStunned]

 

[Erozetta]

 

[theWollstonecraftWoman]

I should thank my doctor for putting me on a diet, or the Broncos would have killed me already this year—too many four-quarter comebacks this season.

 

[onehitwanda]

(courtesy of the Perry Bible Fellowship)

 

[Statius]

I should thank my doctor for putting me on a diet, or the Broncos would have killed me already this year—too many four-quarter comebacks this season.

Gonna be an interesting playoff season in the AFC for sure

 

[StillStunned]

View attachment 2578250
(courtesy of the Perry Bible Fellowship)

And remember: after death, Sithrak awaits!

 

[theWollstonecraftWoman]

At least KC won't win the West.

Gonna be an interesting playoff season in the AFC for sure

 

[Statius]

At least KC won't win the West.

Ha! Patrick is fun to watch though. The biggest disappointment to me is Cincinnati though. Shame they can't protect Burrow. If they could he'd probably be the best QB in the league.

 

[StillStunned]

American sports... are you people trying to bore me into another brush with Death?

 

[Statius]

American sports... are you people trying to bore me into another brush with Death?

As soon as I think of a witty response I'll get back to you.

 

[MillieDynamite]

I thought that was what the five-day international Cricket matches were for, right?

American sports... are you people trying to bore me into another brush with Death?

 

[StillStunned]

I thought that was what the five-day international Cricket matches were for, right?

Those are for working on your tan and catching up on your sleep.

 

[MrPixel]

My... our... brush with the Grim Reaper was the second date with my future (and still) wife. (Some here may recall our first date was at a nudist resort. Damn Californians.)

This second date was entirely normal, we were going to a fancy restaurant in a city a fair piece away... if you ignore that we were driving the Ferrari I bought with the proceeds from a consulting gig. OK, a 20-something male with an Italian exotic showing-off for a beautiful young lady. Normal, all right.

Our backroads route into the destination city terminated in a long tunnel through a mountain. If you haven't heard a Ferrari under acceleration... well... a Ferrari accelerating in an echo chamber is a symphony at fff. She already knew this and was appreciative to the point of giddy, exuberant laughing as we rocketed through the bore. What I had forgotten - how convenient - was this bit of highway exited the tunnel into a 15-mile-an-hour curve. Signage reminding motorists of said curve wasn't placed in anticipation of 100+ transit through the tunnel.

The brakes were up to the task, thank goodness, but we still bashed into the curbed median which... I guess... was judiciously placed to prevent idiots like me from launching off the side of the mountain. No bodywork was harmed, and it was sort of drivable once I crawled the car off the median, albeit with something "off" in the suspension; I was struggling with the steering wheel quite a bit. We limped the car to the restaurant and had a very nice lunch despite still coming down from the adrenalin. After strolling the promenade walking off lunch, we returned to the parking lot, and I had gathered my wits enough to examine the damage.

Nothing seemed particularly bent. I had a vestigial toolkit in the vestigial trunk, and found a couple of wrenches in the correct sizes. Dressed for a fancy lunch, white button-down and all, I performed the Divine Miracle of a suspension alignment on the spot. It drove the 90 miles back home just fine, and taking it to an alignment shop that week revealed it was perfect. She still raves about my shirt, etc., remaining spotless throughout the entire operation.

 

[cw5523729]

Damn, this thread progressed from Boobs and Shaved pussies, to egg recipes, to duck jokes, to DEATH.

What a depressing progression....

 

[Lifestyle66]

Damn, this thread progressed from Boobs and Shaved pussies, to egg recipes, to duck jokes, to DEATH.

What a depressing progression....

Well, if you talk to a random woman about boobs and shaved pussies, that's like flipping a coin and tempting death.

 

[cw5523729]

Well, if you talk to a random woman about boobs and shaved pussies, that's like flipping a coin and tempting death.

Good to know. Next time at the bar, I'll stick to duck jokes and report back.

Unless she looks like she's into a nice souffle.

 

[MillieDynamite]

@StillStunned has a knack for bringing folks down, @cw5523729.

 

[cw5523729]

@StillStunned has a knack for bringing folks down, @cw5523729.

I'd even settle for those 90s pixelated boobs and/or a nice lemon poundcake pic again.

 

[MillieDynamite]

How about a sexy cat photo?

I'd even settle for those 90s pixelated boobs and/or a nice lemon poundcake pic again.

 

[Bazzle]

American sports... are you people trying to bore me into another brush with Death?

American 'sport'

Take excellent British sports and break them.

American Football - 80 minutes of rugby condensed to 60 minutes and then with pauses long enough for adverts that it goes on for 3 hours. Yawn.

Baseball. It's just not cricket.

 

[cw5523729]

View attachment 2578290

How about a sexy cat photo?

Would have to see the rest to tell if she's shaved. I think that was important before.

 

[Z_TheWriter]

Good to know. Next time at the bar, I'll stick to duck jokes and report back.

I had a classmate once who consistently only 'flirted' by telling penguin facts - or so he claimed anyway.
He insisted that it had in fact worked. Once.

 

[cw5523729]

I had a classmate once who consistently only 'flirted' by telling penguin facts - or so he claimed anyway.
He insisted that it had in fact worked. Once.

Well, I've been told that "Nice boots. Wanna fuck?" allegedly works for some people as well but I'm pretty sure neither that nor random penguin trivia would work for me.

 

[cw5523729]

Actually, now that I think about it, I'm thinking that showing up with a lemon poundcake at the bar might be more successful than either of those. I mean, who doesn't love a nice slice of lemon poundcake offered to them in a bar by a complete stranger?

 

[onehitwanda]

Well, if you talk to a random woman about boobs and shaved pussies, that's like flipping a coin and tempting death.

It's not a coin flip. Death is happening, regardless of the amount of pain that precedes it.