The Homosexual Agenda

[shereads]

Please explain in simple terms for the rest of us. I thought I knew your agenda until Spongebob Squarepants got involved. Now I just don't get it.

 

[shereads]

Were the Teletubbies really involved? Is that why they've gone underground?

 

[cloudy]

Don't forget Bert and Ernie. Weren't they the pioneers of children's television?

 

[NoJo]

It all started for me when Bill and Ben the Flowerpot men, and their friend Little Weed, flounced onto the BBC children's hour in 1961.

 

[cantdog]

Oh, yes. THEY pioneer children's television! THEY make it not suck! Then all the little munchers of rugs all over this unsuspecting land will absorb a Satanic message of tolerance and fair play!

How do you like THEM apples, A-fuckin-merica!

Hah!

 

[OhMissScarlett]

Were the Teletubbies really involved? Is that why they've gone underground?

They're not underground, I just saw them this morning. One of them was carrying a purse, surely that makes him gay. Also they claim to 'love each other very much'. If that isn't manlove, I don't know what is.

 

[shereads]

It all started for me when Bill and Ben the Flowerpot men, and their friend Little Weed, flounced onto the BBC children's hour in 1961.

I resisted the influence of Mister Greenjeans, Captain Kangaroo's same-sex life partner, but if I had been a boy I don't know what might have happened. Mister Moose fascinated me. That could explain why the word "horny" used to make me giggle.

I like your AV. It's pensive.

 

[cloudy]

They're not underground, I just saw them this morning. One of them was carrying a purse, surely that makes him gay. Also they claim to 'love each other very much'. If that isn't manlove, I don't know what is.

And, what about the teletubbies cousins, the Boobahs?

 

[shereads]

They're not underground, I just saw them this morning. One of them was carrying a purse, surely that makes him gay. Also they claim to 'love each other very much'. If that isn't manlove, I don't know what is.

Is the red teletubbie a communist?

 

[cantdog]

Don't jump, Joe! Think of the Nation!

Mr. Green Jeans was actually Lumpy Brannum, and you don't get a monicker like that for no reason.

 

[shereads]

Don't jump, Joe! Think of the Nation!

Mr. Green Jeans was actually Lumpy Brannum, and you don't get a monicker like that for no reason.

Lumpy?

 

[shereads]

Thinking of the Nation makes me want to jump. Think of something else, Joe.

 

[logophile]

I thought this is where we were keeping the Homosexual Agenda. I just need to know when we're having lunch and what time the toaster oven ceremony is...

 

[cantdog]

And the captain! A fraud! He's neither a Captain nor a kangaroo!

Grandfather Clock? On the nod, most of the time. Barbiturate addiction is a terrible thing.

And why the gag order on Bunny Rabbit?

There are insidious depths here.

 

[shereads]

Grandfather Clock? On the nod, most of the time. Barbiturate addiction is a terrible thing.

Grandfather Clock was a creepy concept, wasn't it? Whose grandfather? Mine? I knew one of mine was missing...

 

[elsol]

It goes back farther than this...

Superman!!!

Come on... TIGHTS!!! That's just so gay!

ElSol

 

[OhMissScarlett]

And, what about the teletubbies cousins, the Boobahs?

I don't know, but those things scare the hell out of me.

Is the red teletubbie a communist?

Yes, I'm blacklisting him as we speak.

 

[cantdog]

Plus he was Jewish!

 

[cloudy]

I don't know, but those things scare the hell out of me.

Me too.

Look what I can do!

 

[Pure]

Basing themselves on the Black civil rights movement of the 60s, the gay and lesbian communities have, since then, been pressing hard for 'rights' recognition, 'equality,' and reform in a number of areas, from the medico-legal to the legislative. Their common set of objectives (which we may call a list) constitute the Homosexual Agenda.

 

[Guest]

Please explain in simple terms for the rest of us. I thought I knew your agenda until Spongebob Squarepants got involved. Now I just don't get it.

Check!

 

[OhMissScarlett]

Me too.

Look what I can do!

bah, they're all squishy. Give me something like Bob The Builder anyday. Now there's a straight children's show for ya.

 

[Kassiana]

The real homosexual agenda unmasked!

9 a.m. Roll over and hit the snooze alarm for five more minutes.

9:05 am. Turn off alarm.

9:35 am. Begin getting out of bed, slowly and leisurely.

10 am. Warm, sensuous bath in Jacuzzi with partner.

11 am. Breakfast on two croissants, fresh baked, with plenty of butter and chocolate spread.

11:30 am. Dress.

12 pm. Shop.

1:30 pm. Lunch out. Tea, salad, and bread.

2 pm. Link with the Rosicrucians, Illuminati, New World Order, New Agers, Murphy Brown, and the Zionist Elders to do the following:
--Take over all world governments
--Stamp out Christianity
--Get rid of any protections for kids
--Make all people wear tasteful clothes

2:15 pm. Take a walk down by the lake with partner. Take bread along to feed the ducks and geese.

3 pm. Go home. Tuck up in comfy chair and continue reading book of Moliere plays (in French).

4 pm. Play with dogs outside.

6 pm. Dine on pork chops en casserole, with white wine and cinnamon apples.

9 pm. Recline between silky sheets in bed with partner.

10 pm. Sleep.

 

[Guest]

dahlink, no self-respecting homosexual gets out of bed before 10am.
hrmf~

v~
flaming lesbian extrodinaire.

 

[Kassiana]

dahlink, no self-respecting homosexual gets out of bed before 10am.
hrmf~

v~
flaming lesbian extrodinaire.

Aw...dang! Are you telling me someone gave me a false agenda? Again?

Geez, I'm going to have to start questioning those little guys who come to my door and ask, "Would you like to buy an agenda?"