the "grumpy old man" type

[zen83]

This plays on the "grumpy old man who lives alone" trope.

In the so called most "ugly/outdated" house lives an old man who refuses to sell his house, all his neighbors have complained, made offers to buy it. A really persistant real estate agent wants to buy the house, keeps pestering him. How would he turn the tables on her, and turn her into a slave?
A slave for him, or a family member?

I have one scene in mind (it helps if she is short and he is tall). Lets say she has already been let in to see the place. He could talk to her, as if she were a child. At one point they are talking and he is tired of craning his neck / looking down to talk to her. So, he picks her up and sits her on the counter. It sounds ridiculous if it happened in real life, but scenes like that are funny in a story.

 

[Hypoxia]

Without a HOA (Home-Owner's Assoc) mere neighbors can't really apply much pressure. More realistically, a commercial developer proposes a major project but our GOM (Grumpy Old Man) refuses to sell his home+lot in a critical part of the complex, throwing the proverbial monkey wrench in the plans. We see this play out IRL with one dumpy house surrounded by newer looming buildings.

For the story, the developer sends his fixer-babe to 'persuade' the GOM who of course is virile and sneaky, having out-maneuvered many manipulative babes in his long life. Who gets 'persuaded', then?

 

[zen83]

Gom

Yes, I like your thinking. The house is an eye sore and some companies have their eye on that lot. This man has lived there a long time and he is not moving yet. I also had the idea, that the way he decorates his house, his car, the clothes he wears, its all very outdated (could be specific, like 1950s).

When this "fixer babe" comes over to try to persuade him to sell, the first thing she notices on the wall is pictures, of him with different women (through the decades). He can say something like those are male relatives and their wives, but in reality it was him and women he trained to be slaves.

Also, he still has the libido of a 20 year old.

 

[Carnevil9]

The realtor/developer sends sexier and sexier women to try to seduce him; he turns them all into simpering, groveling love slaves. They send an Olympic gymnast to bring him to his knees; he reduces her to tears. They send two or three babes at once; he conquers them all. Eventually, they send Jules and Vincent from Pulp Fiction to pop a cap in his ass; they end up giving him a foot massage. Finally, the head of the international mega-corporation that owns the developer rolls up in his limo to buy out the GOM no matter what the price. He ends up cooking the GOM breakfast after a long night of cock worship.

 

[zen83]

haha, that is a bit more than I was thinking, but sure.

I could see in his younger days, he would go extreme. but now he is old man, he enjoys listening to Frank Sinatra records or working in his garden. He can still get it up and have 2 hour sex sessions, but at the same time he has lived alone for so long.... well he is a bit like a monk.

He has already fooled around with different women in different scenarios.... its more fun for him to just treat this one like a daughter (giving her a cute nick name, talking to her slowly, even offering to spoon feed her some soup he is making). She plays along because she thinks she can persuade him. It turns the 50 shades of grey idea on its head. Instead of some mysterious and rich 20 something guy who lives in a mansion complete with BDSM room. Its just some old dude, already has gotten his kicks. But, if you want to buy his house

 

[Lost_Yonder]

Where I live, the housing market is hot right now, prices have sored and every day there are calls, letters, and on occasion, people stopping by offering to buy our house. Many houses in the neighborhood have been rebuilt in the past few years and there is one down the street that the owner rents out - it is in shambles and looks horrible compared to the rest of the neighborhood.

If the man is older - kids grown and off living their lives, divorced or perhaps widowed, the house is paid for, so no real motivation to move or sell. But the prices being offered are alluring. Knowing it is a sellers market, GOM plays with some of the realtors who stop by. Many of them are seasoned and are aware of his games and move on. But one particular young realtor is desperately trying to make her first big buy for a developer who wants to flip the house because she knows she will also be able to be the selling agent when they are done - earning twice off the same house.

She returns a second time and this time the GOM really works her, trying to see what she is willing to offer him to entice him to move. She offers some cash, but he isn't impressed. She leaves without much hope. She returns a third time and now GOM is just frustrated with her. He lies he tells her he has another offer he is seriously considering so now she is desperate.

"The other agent made it enticing by showing me her tits," he lets her know. She is flabbergasted but won't be out bid. She takes off her blouse and bra. "hmmm, not bad, but your tits are smaller than hers" he let's her know. "What else do you have to offer?" ...

 

[Hypoxia]

A "problem-solving" real estate broker specializes in overcoming reluctant sellers. She and her team of 'fixer' babes and studs regularly persuade with sex, drugs, etc. Are her best agents outmatched by the story's savvy GOM?

 

[KimGordon67]

LMAO - this grumpy old man is pretty much the last guy I was seeing - lives in a decommissioned church, with no inside bathroom or shower (outdoor shower, he cooks on a barbecue, he maybe has a microwave inside, or a rice cooker - something like that, and a fridge that pretty much only has beer in it), and 2-3 motorbikes in one corner in various states of repair. Resolutely single.

He's really really good in bed. I would totally buy this story.

 

[Carnevil9]

LMAO - this grumpy old man is pretty much the last guy I was seeing - lives in a decommissioned church, with no inside bathroom or shower (outdoor shower, he cooks on a barbecue, he maybe has a microwave inside, or a rice cooker - something like that, and a fridge that pretty much only has beer in it), and 2-3 motorbikes in one corner in various states of repair. Resolutely single.

He's really really good in bed. I would totally buy this story.

Sounds like a Steven Seagal movie.

 

[KimGordon67]

Sounds like a Steven Seagal movie.

LOL. He's very definitely not Steven Seagal. A decommissioned church may sound very cool and slightly romantic, but unless you actually do the renovating, it's kind of draughty and cold, and in his case, pretty messy.

 

[sirhugs]

LOL. He's very definitely not Steven Seagal. A decommissioned church may sound very cool and slightly romantic, but unless you actually do the renovating, it's kind of draughty and cold, and in his case, pretty messy.

messiness IS next to godliness after all.

 

[Hypoxia]

Although I was raised Quaker and am an ordained Free Baptist preacher, I've avoided those one-room Southern Baptist shacks. All other serious churches and sanctuaries I've seen have included kitchen and bath facilities. We almost bought an empty brick-and-glass-block Lutheran church near Lassen Volcanic Nat'l Park but the DSL connection was too expensive there. So "primitive abandoned church" only works in certain less-than-desirable neighborhoods where the pastor lives in a trailer next door. Is that where this story goes?

 

[zen83]

I like the idea of living in a decomissioned church. At first, this was going to be the old man who yells "get off my lawn" gets the last laugh. I see him as a modern day wizard. He sees his home as a sanctuary and he just wants to be left alone. He has had his share of relationships, so he sees the fixer babes for what they are, mere eye candy with an agenda.

While I never read the 50 shades of Grey book (it sounds like, if Bruce Wayne was a BDSM dom instead of Batman) I just could never buy it. With that much money and connections, he could find himself a woman (or any partner) who would be down for pretty much anything. But what if its just some random old dude who will not sell his property to someone who wants to buy it and build a shopping center or some such? I think the grumpy old man, living in some old church, has plenty of life experience and maybe a chip on his shoulder can easily come up with some kinky stuff.

The grumpy old man, in a broken down church and rebuilds motorcycles (a job that requires getting his hands dirty) will have the harden personality to be a dom. Not some pretty boy millionaire who looks like he has never picked up anything heavier than a college textbook nor has done real, physical labor.

 

[KimGordon67]

I like the idea of living in a decomissioned church. At first, this was going to be the old man who yells "get off my lawn" gets the last laugh. I see him as a modern day wizard. He sees his home as a sanctuary and he just wants to be left alone. He has had his share of relationships, so he sees the fixer babes for what they are, mere eye candy with an agenda.

While I never read the 50 shades of Grey book (it sounds like, if Bruce Wayne was a BDSM dom instead of Batman) I just could never buy it. With that much money and connections, he could find himself a woman (or any partner) who would be down for pretty much anything. But what if its just some random old dude who will not sell his property to someone who wants to buy it and build a shopping center or some such? I think the grumpy old man, living in some old church, has plenty of life experience and maybe a chip on his shoulder can easily come up with some kinky stuff.

The grumpy old man, in a broken down church and rebuilds motorcycles (a job that requires getting his hands dirty) will have the harden personality to be a dom. Not some pretty boy millionaire who looks like he has never picked up anything heavier than a college textbook nor has done real, physical labor.

He does a really physical job that involves clambering around on rooves (roofs?). And surfs. So I can attest that in your 50s, you can still do this stuff and be pretty fit. You may be thinking of older than that though? A lot of surfers stay pretty fit into their older years though.

 

[KimGordon67]

Although I was raised Quaker and am an ordained Free Baptist preacher, I've avoided those one-room Southern Baptist shacks. All other serious churches and sanctuaries I've seen have included kitchen and bath facilities. We almost bought an empty brick-and-glass-block Lutheran church near Lassen Volcanic Nat'l Park but the DSL connection was too expensive there. So "primitive abandoned church" only works in certain less-than-desirable neighborhoods where the pastor lives in a trailer next door. Is that where this story goes?

This church is in a tiny country town - so this reality probably wouldn't work for the 'incredibly desirable real estate' angle. It only had two power points when he bought it ... actually, it still only has two powerpoints. I don't know how he hasn't burnt the place down.

 

[Hypoxia]

This church is in a tiny country town - so this reality probably wouldn't work for the 'incredibly desirable real estate' angle. It only had two power points when he bought it ... actually, it still only has two powerpoints. I don't know how he hasn't burnt the place down.

The Lutheran church I mentioned was a questionable property in a small mountain town with few amenities. It had been on the market awhile.

Meanwhile, tiny-town churches I've seen had lavatory facilities at least. I don't know that a GOM would have occupied a primitive space... unless he was a preacher who lost his congregation. Then he'd be REALLY grumpy. Yikes.

 

[jaF0]

"Batteries Not Included"


https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-LhvO-PnsBlg/UeM4gaGnLjI/AAAAAAAABLc/vmq6TqsrVZ8/s1600/Batteries4.jpg

The little guys help the couple by using mind implants on the fixers and turning them into FemBots.

 

[Hypoxia]

"Batteries Not Included"

What about neck electrodes that attract thunderbolts? "C'mon baby, light my fire..."

The little guys help the couple by using mind implants on the fixers and turning them into FemBots.

Getting kinky now, hey? Appropriate brain implants (or anal implants from ETs) will make a human do almost *anything*. Except turn them liberal -- coffee is needed for that.

Back to the GOM. He drinks a special coffee whose beans were processed thru the alimentary tracts of civet cats i.e. it's shitty coffee that StarFucks can't sell. Enough to turn anyone grumpy after the hallucinations. Fantasies ensue.

 

[Reshbod]

This plays on the "grumpy old man who lives alone" trope.

In the so called most "ugly/outdated" house lives an old man who refuses to sell his house, all his neighbors have complained, made offers to buy it. A really persistant real estate agent wants to buy the house, keeps pestering him. How would he turn the tables on her, and turn her into a slave?
A slave for him, or a family member?

I have one scene in mind (it helps if she is short and he is tall). Lets say she has already been let in to see the place. He could talk to her, as if she were a child. At one point they are talking and he is tired of craning his neck / looking down to talk to her. So, he picks her up and sits her on the counter. It sounds ridiculous if it happened in real life, but scenes like that are funny in a story.

I have a similar idea where the GOM was a do-it-yourselfer so maybe several things are not up to the modern code. The agent doesn't offer as much as he feels he should get so he brushes her off. She ends up offering to help at least fix up the yard. The grass is mowed but everything else is a mess. Either she or her 18 year old daughter, who helps her mom in real estate, ends up helping him. While he has plenty of money, he's a penny pincher and has no problem getting free work.

They also offer to help inside the house which is cluttered after 50 or so years. He keeps the house very warm so the helper begins wearing more revealing outfits. After a while of this, the helper begins seeing fliers and cards of other agents on the table, when asked about them, he says they're making better offers and they soon learn they don't usually involve money. So the helper tries to determine what are the offers, then counters with her own.

 

[Acktion]

Speaking as a grumpy old widower, I approve this message.

Which I'm sure surprises no one.

A few years back, I did a little something along these lines with A Final Valentine. Which was about the last thing I actually finished.

Had a more recent idea involving a rebellious brat cheerleader, but I doubt I'll ever get back and get the second paragraph written.

Perhaps ironically, I recently finally met the agent for the fifth landlord in six years of this rat trap. Cute little thing, only came up to my chest. Thought she was somebody's kid when she first knocked. She got an eyeful of body hair and scars since I wasn't expecting company, had been napping, and only had on a pair of shorts. And, I've got a coiled bullwhip hanging in the front room. But, in fairness, it may have been Dogzilla who reared up with my hand on her collar and was taller than her that scared her more.

At least until I told her I didn't need any girl scout cookies and started shutting the door. Feisty little thing introduced herself real quick and started making marks on her clipboard. I stepped out on the porch and shut the door, leaving Destructo-dog to start trying to tunnel through the steel door and set her straight on... several things she was confused about.

We have only rarely seen each other since, as they mostly leave me alone in this place where my wife died rather than kicking me out, having to redo it all before they could get anyone in, and having to tell any potential renters that someone had died here since, as I understand it, the limitations on that isn't up quite yet.