The Good Wife's Guide

[graceanne]

Worst. Wife. Ever.

yeah, but would M know what to do with a 50's wife? he chose you, and he stays with you so I'd say he probably thinks you're the Best. Wife. Ever.

 

[graceanne]

1. Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.

I cook, but I rarely plan ahead. Occasionally, K cooks - but that's if he wants something he does a better job of making (like spaghetti) or if I'm wiped out.

2. Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

Yeah, I'll do that in my spare time. I do not have an extra 15 minutes to change my clothes and stuff - I have three children.

3. Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

Ok, I will restrain myself from having a dirty mind here. Beyond that, I got married so I'd have a partner. That means that if I had a bad day, he gets to hear about it. It works in reverse - he gets to complain if he had a bad day.

4. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the tables.

Whatever. I clean once a day. I try to make it right before he gets home, but I sure as heck am not going to dust especially for him. I dust once a week - quite frankly he doesn't even notice.

This article was probably written by a woman, cause a man won't notice one days worth of dust. I bet the men would have preferred to come home to their wives naked.

5. Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

No fireplace. Beyond that, I couldn't light a fire if you put a gun to my head. When we heated our house with a stove, K would get the fire ready to go in the morning before he left, and I would just light a match to it.

6. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.

This one irritates me the most. They're his freaken children, too. Not to mention that mr. neverstopsmoving (our son) is HIS fault - he got it from daddy. I'm just happy if I can keep the kids from screaming at the top of their lungs.

7. Be happy to see him.

I am. He can chase mr. neverstopsmoving while I make dinner.

8. Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

I make it a point to always smile and hug him when he gets home. No one wants to walk in to 'It's your fault! you and your stupid Y chromosone!'

9. Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

My ass. First of all, I can't get detail about his day from him, even if I beg. His stepdad had an entire surgery i didn't know about, cause HEAVEN FORBID that he share with me. You DO NOT want to get me started on this one.

10. Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.

How's the song go? DREAM ON, DREAM ON, DREAM UNTIL YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE!

11. Your goal: To try and make sure your home is a place of peace, order, and tranquillity where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

Sure, that's the goal. I also have a goal to be rich and skinny.

12. Don't greet him with complaints and problems.

See number 8.

13. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

I'd love to see someone try to stop him from sitting in his chair when he gets home.

Beyond that, I keep a pitcher of water in the fridge, mostly for him. (Occasionally the kids drink some, but I keep it full.) This is not just for when he gets home, but for anytime he wants some water.

14. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

*giggles* I'd love to see his reaction if I tried to take off his shoes for him. After he was done staring at me, he'd make a comment about not being a child and being able to take off his shoes himself.

15. Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

Whatever. See the whole 'partnership' thing. Add to that, he's not always fair or truthful.

16. A good wife always knows her place.

 

[graceanne]

. . . keep the kids from being feral . . .

ROFL.

 

[intothewoods]

Who the hell is a housewife anyway? I don't think I've met one under the age of 60. SAHMs maybe, but not housewife as in no income stream at all and your job is look nice keep the house nice and keep the kids from being feral that's IT. Slaves do not count, there's too much strenuous weird sex likely to be taking place for the fifties manual.

I've known of a few, but very few. They volunteer, decorate the house, run errands, do the cooking and shopping. I'd go totally insane, unless I had a great volunteer gig or something. I'm really social.

 

[graceanne]

I've known of a few, but very few. They volunteer, decorate the house, run errands, do the cooking and shopping. I'd go totally insane, unless I had a great volunteer gig or something. I'm really social.

Until I got on social security I had no income. That's what I did, take care of the kids and if possible the house. I run errands and do the shopping and volunteer at the school.

Of course I'm starting college in the fall.

 

[intothewoods]

Until I got on social security I had no income. That's what I did, take care of the kids and if possible the house. I run errands and do the shopping and volunteer at the school.

Of course I'm starting college in the fall.

Oh no, I meant, housewife with no kids - that's who Netzach was talking about. If you have little kids especially, that's a lot of work in and of itself. When they get older, you get more of a break, but still, lots of work.

 

[graceanne]

Oh no, I meant, housewife with no kids - that's who Netzach was talking about. If you have little kids especially, that's a lot of work in and of itself. When they get older, you get more of a break, but still, lots of work.

Actually she specified that part of the job is 'keeping the kids from getting feral' (LOL).

 

[YourCaptor]

Who the hell is a housewife anyway? I don't think I've met one under the age of 60. SAHMs maybe, but not housewife as in no income stream at all and your job is look nice keep the house nice and keep the kids from being feral that's IT. Slaves do not count, there's too much strenuous weird sex likely to be taking place for the fifties manual.

My mother

She wasn't always though, immigrating left her isolated in the home.

 

[Mrs. Sanj]

Of course I'm starting college in the fall.

I didn't know this...what will you be studying?

Oh no, I meant, housewife with no kids - that's who Netzach was talking about. If you have little kids especially, that's a lot of work in and of itself. When they get older, you get more of a break, but still, lots of work.

Oh hell yeah they are!

 

[graceanne]

I didn't know this...what will you be studying?

Right now I'm just doing pre-requisites. I'm not sure, long term. I'm considering nursing, but I'm not sure if I can. Nursing takes a lot of energy and with my health, that's an issue.

 

[Mrs. Sanj]

Right now I'm just doing pre-requisites. I'm not sure, long term. I'm considering nursing, but I'm not sure if I can. Nursing takes a lot of energy and with my health, that's an issue.

Oh I hated that part, taking classes because they say you have to even if you have no interest in them. I miss being in school. I was one of the weird ones that actually enjoyed it. You've got time to figure out what you want to do while you are taking those courses.

 

[the_pet]

YIKES! .... should i be embarrassed that most if not all items that are still applicable in this day and age are adhered to at my house

pet

 

[YourCaptor]

No smiles, except from OSG.

I really need to work on identifying the type of humor that comes out of me.

 

[graceanne]

No smiles, except from OSG.

I really need to work on identifying the type of humor that comes out of me.

You said something funny?

 

[YourCaptor]

You said something funny?

 

[Essene]

Once upon a time, long long ago, in a land not so far away, I was essentially this wife, only I had a kid. The weird thing is, is that I was blissfully happy. I was never more happy to be taking care of the house and my family...until the husband got evil...and continued to be evil...and here we are 2 years later. Yup. Still evil. AND was always definitely lacking in the bedroom.

It's really heartbreaking to work so hard to please someone else and never be able to make them happy.

So I guess I'll go back to school and be a single mom/career woman, but today I was wistfully thinking about those early baby days when I felt fulfilled.

I realize that it's probably healthier for me to do my own thing.

It's just that sometimes I miss going to play dates, and the supermarket, and drinking lattes, and driving a PT Cruiser.

Oh wait. I can still do those things, only I have a job and my own money. Well except the Cruiser part...

*snicker*

No, but just that whole suburban life, financially stable, big strong man, white picket fence thing...it made me feel safe.

 

[ShyVixen]

Once upon a time, long long ago, in a land not so far away, I was essentially this wife, only I had a kid. The weird thing is, is that I was blissfully happy. I was never more happy to be taking care of the house and my family...until the husband got evil...and continued to be evil...and here we are 2 years later. Yup. Still evil. AND was always definitely lacking in the bedroom.

It's really heartbreaking to work so hard to please someone else and never be able to make them happy.

So I guess I'll go back to school and be a single mom/career woman, but today I was wistfully thinking about those early baby days when I felt fulfilled.

I realize that it's probably healthier for me to do my own thing.

It's just that sometimes I miss going to play dates, and the supermarket, and drinking lattes, and driving a PT Cruiser.

Oh wait. I can still do those things, only I have a job and my own money. Well except the Cruiser part...

*snicker*

No, but just that whole suburban life, financially stable, big strong man, white picket fence thing...it made me feel safe.

As much I scoff and roll my eyes at being taken care of, looked after and in turn looking after to the extent that first post, I have to agree with PM, it is appealing to me. The stability, the safety...

And then I realize, I'd be too restless. That is not me by any sense of the word. I'd probably be smothered by that life.

 

[Essene]

As much I scoff and roll my eyes at being taken care of, looked after and in turn looking after to the extent that first post, I have to agree with PM, it is appealing to me. The stability, the safety...

And then I realize, I'd be too restless. That is not me by any sense of the word. I'd probably be smothered by that life.

*nod* I was restless sometimes.

Although I would not object to being a SAHM again - temporarily or working part time if I had other small children. I absolutely love being a mother and spending time nurturing my child. I need to work a little bit though - it's for my sanity.

 

[cherrybaby]

I just ran into this again after two years. Thought I'd share it for those that haven't seen it.

http://www.eagle-wing.net/ClickPicks/Puzzles/images/WifeGuide.jpg
The Good Wife's Guide
Housekeeping Monthly - May 13, 1955

sign me up.

 

[kinkyknickers]

I dunno, dare I say it, I think this old school guide has merit somewhat.

My best friend is a homemaker and, whilst she isn't a sub and she's no push over, she pretty much adhears to this kind of structure, even with a three month old baby. It brings harmony to their lives and makes her feel accomplished when she knows she's doing all she can to make her relationship work and I know her fiance really apprectiates it. Thing is she does it because she wants to, not because she's told or expected to. If it was expected of her I reckon the house would be a garbage tip just to proove a point.

Having said that, in our lives, the_mgp and I are the ones that go out to work in stressful management positions and Master stays home or with his crew doing his freelance work and generally juggling everybody's plates around him.

Nope, we don't expect him to do stuff, the_mgp does most of the household duties in both our places and she wouldn't have it any other way. The most I usually do is cook dinner for us, 'cos that's my area.

As long as you know you're apprectaited then it's a pleasure to do it. Having said that..... I do order an aweful lot of pizza.

 

[Mrs. Sanj]

YourCaptor, I'm sure you got a smile or two.

It has a lot of merit for those that like the roles and the men that like thier women in the roles.

 

[DeservingBitch]

I'd take one of those.

If I can be the man.

 

[Primalex]

No smiles, except from OSG.

And she just wanted to please you.

 

[Mrs. Sanj]

I'd take one of those.

If I can be the man.

Hell I think we'd all sign up for that.

 

[rinka]

Alternative:
When your husband walks in the door throw the baby to him, say "Hi honey, you're it" and lock yourself in the bathroom for a nice bubblebath. Then you might remain sane and pleasant for the rest of the day and night.