The Good, The Bad and the Ugly

[rgraham666]

Shamelessly copied from another forum.

Good : Your wife is pregnant.
Bad : It's triplets.
Ugly : You had a vasectomy five years ago.

Good : Your wife's not talking to you
Bad : She wants a divorce.
Ugly : She's a lawyer.

Good : Your son is finally maturing.
Bad : He's involved with the women next door.
Ugly : So are you.

Good : Your son studies a lot in his room.
Bad : You find several porn movies hidden there.
Ugly : You're in them.

Good : Your hubby and you agree, no more kids.
Bad : You can't find your birth control pills.
Ugly : Your daughter borrowed them.

Good : Your husband understands fashion.
Bad : He's a cross-dresser.
Ugly : He looks better than you.

Good : You just gave "the birds and the bees" talk to your daughter.
Bad : She keeps interrupting.
Ugly : With corrections

Good : Your son is dating someone new.
Bad : It's another man.
Ugly : He's your best friend.

Good : Your daughter got a new job.
Bad : As a hooker.
Ugly : Your co-workers are her best clients.
Way Ugly : She makes more money than you do.

 

[Guest]

These scare me this early in the morning.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

These scare me this early in the morning.

I know what you mean. Kinda inspires you to say "to hell with it" and go back to bed.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[oggbashan]

Good: At last you see a Policeman in your street.
Bad: He books you for an out-of-date car tax.
Ugly: He came to arrest your son for drug-dealing.

Og

 

[Stella_Omega]

Good; your friend joins you for coffee
Bad; She has just read a book that "will change your life"
ugly; It's changed hers; She's already donated her belongings to the cause and is off to live in a cave with the cult leader.

 

[TheeGoatPig]

Good; your friend joins you for coffee
Bad; She has just read a book that "will change your life"
ugly; It's changed hers; She's already donated her belongings to the cause and is off to live in a cave with the cult leader.

Even uglier; She is your wife and she sold the house too.

 

[oggbashan]

Good: Your ancient chat-up line finally works.
Bad: After sex she leaves with your wallet.
Ugly: You develop an incurable STD.

 

[oggbashan]

Good: She fancies your ass and takes you to her home.
Bad: Her 300 pound mother wants your ass too.
Ugly: So does her 400 pound brother.