The GLBT board's attitude toward sexuality

[Never]

I'm getting an overwhelming sense of shallowness when it comes to physical intimacy; one that focuses almost completely on the physical to the exclusion of intimacy. To judge by these boards, being gay is about finding cock/pussy, figuring out how to suck/lick said cock/pussy, or figuring out how to get your wife/husband to let you suck/lick cock/pussy when you find it.

Very rarely do I hear anything about the person attached to this cock/pussy and sometimes I get the feeling posters here don't realize there are people involved in sex.

It's a confusing mindset to me as sex itself is about 10% of my sexuality. When I say I love women it means I can give you a list of women I've loved, not that breasts and pussy make me slick. In truth, I'm indifferent to them and desire them only because they're attached to the women I lust over.

Hmmm... ah, something like that.

 

[John Doe]

I get the same impression, and I have a few hypotheses as to why that is, but I'd like to wake up a little first before I try to put them into words.

Anyway, are you sure you don't like breasts and pussy at least a little on thier own merits?

 

[Queersetti]

I think that for the majority of posters here, this is a sort of "entry level" discussion of queer issues.Because so many people are at an early stage of exploring, it makes sense that the focus is largely on the overtly sexual aspects, and not on more involved relationship issues.

Of course, if someone wants more discussions of relationship issues, they are certainly welcome to start some.

 

[sexy-girl]

perhaps it's to do with age? ... i would of been too young to post on here when i was becoming aware of my sexuality

but when i was i wasn't thinking about the sexual aspects ... it was more wishing to be intimate with a woman wanting to know their thoughts and feelings at a level that was beyond friendship

i did quite often fantasize about just hugging and sleeping naked with a woman ... thats what i visualized being gay was


to be honest i don't think i thought that often about actual oral sex with a woman until i had my first girlfriend ... i think this was because i never thought i would actually get a girlfriend anyway ... and i wasn't even looking for one or actively really wanting sex


anyway i think it could be because of the age thing of this forum most people who are newly discovering their sexuality must be older than 18 when they post here ... and maybe if you're that age or older discovering your sexuality it's more of a bicurious thing?

 

[Queersetti]

perhaps it's to do with age? ... i would of been too young to post on here when i was becoming aware of my sexuality

but when i was i wasn't thinking about the sexual aspects ... it was more wishing to be intimate with a woman wanting to know their thoughts and feelings at a level that was beyond friendship

i did quite often fantasize about just hugging and sleeping naked with a woman ... thats what i visualized being gay was


to be honest i don't think i thought that often about actual oral sex with a woman until i had my first girlfriend ... i think this was because i never thought i would actually get a girlfriend anyway ... and i wasn't even looking for one or actively really wanting sex


anyway i think it could be because of the age thing of this forum most people who are newly discovering their sexuality must be older than 18 when they post here ... and maybe if you're that age or older discovering your sexuality it's more of a bicurious thing?

There is probably a gender factor at play as well. Men are more likely to focus on the physical aspects of sexuality than are women.

 

[geishaGirl]

I think the whole overtly sexual nature relates to Literotica as a whole and is not limited to the GLBT Board. I can say that the very point you're talking about Never, is one I've thought of too. I am a very emotional person when it comes to sexual experiences and very rarely is having sex or foreplay etc. a purely physical, lust-filled experience for me.

As to the way sex is discussed on this board and elsewhere on Lit, I get the feeling that sometimes people may just "play it up" a bit because it is Literotica. It's easy to discuss things in a more overt way because of the anonymity aspect here. And I do suspect that people may take some time to open up more to their other thoughts and feelings as someone else here said.

 

[SweetErika]

I agree it's a combination of factors. Another might be that it takes a lot of time and effort to converse about emotional issues...posting and responding to "do you like cock/pussy?" and the like is so easy. That's unfortunate because the emotional aspect is the most important piece to me, and I hope we can start discussions regarding it soon.

 

[OneColdMonkey]

I've thought of this too, and a few days it's bugged me a little too much to stop by and hang out, because I'm in love, and I don't want to just see flesh signs everywhere. ...I'm not sure quite what that means, but yeah.

I think you just have to take lit for what it is, really. 95% fun fluff, with a community that'll come together and help out when someone needs some 5% help. People come here when they're horny, just looking to flirt, hang out, get off, and forget. 'Cuz, you know, sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name, and they're always glad you came...

Anyways, that's my two cents on the subject.

 

[GreenEyeBiChick]

think that for the majority of posters here, this is a sort of "entry level" discussion of queer issues.Because so many people are at an early stage of exploring, it makes sense that the focus is largely on the overtly sexual aspects, and not on more involved relationship issues.

I agree with that... I guess I'm one of "those" people, lol.

 

[mansome]

This is a SEX-Related Website.... I would tend to think that the subjects "discussed" in this forum would pertain to SEX...... if you are coming on to a website to make posts to people you never met before it seems logical to me that they WOULD be shallow.. what else do you expect?


I sure hope talking about cock and pussy on a site called Literotica which has stories about mother's fucking sons, women inserting god knows what inside their pussy, and Aliens using all kinds of appendages and all kinds of orifaces--that it shouldn't surprise you that the "chat" is fairly shallow....


Have fun.... *S* maybe you should create a forum that deals with only intimacy and love and then you can monitor that one.....

 

[mansome]

I should also note. that Talking about ALL of this is completely safe.. actually doing what we want to whomever we want may not be safe... *S*

and That's the beauty of this place...

 

[sexy-girl]

This is a SEX-Related Website.... I would tend to think that the subjects "discussed" in this forum would pertain to SEX...... if you are coming on to a website to make posts to people you never met before it seems logical to me that they WOULD be shallow.. what else do you expect?


I sure hope talking about cock and pussy on a site called Literotica which has stories about mother's fucking sons, women inserting god knows what inside their pussy, and Aliens using all kinds of appendages and all kinds of orifaces--that it shouldn't surprise you that the "chat" is fairly shallow....


Have fun.... *S* maybe you should create a forum that deals with only intimacy and love and then you can monitor that one.....

i hate to do the whole newbie thing ... but it sounds like you haven't been here very long ... or that you've only been reading threads of one type

you'd be surprised what deeply personal subjects can be and have been discussed with complete strangers using this anonymous discussion forum

if you fall into the trap of seeing literotica as a mere porn board you'll be missing out on a lot of the good things about lit

 

[mansome]

i hate to do the whole newbie thing ... but it sounds like you haven't been here very long ... or that you've only been reading threads of one type

you'd be surprised what deeply personal subjects can be and have been discussed with complete strangers using this anonymous discussion forum

if you fall into the trap of seeing literotica as a mere porn board you'll be missing out on a lot of the good things about lit

That's understandable.... I'm sure there is some insight I can gain from other people that post in here about sexuality that doesn't pertain to just the physical...

But I'm just saying that people shouldn't be surprised to see posts of the pornographic nature.... and I certainly won't scrutinize anyone for getting in to deeper issues of intimacy and soul searching....

I don't think it has anything with me being a "newbie" ... checking out this site for a couple years or so I've found exactly what I needed to find out of it.. *L*

 

[kalalau]

I'm enjoying this thoughtful thread. I'm still fairly new to the boards. I have tried many, many times to develop relationships with people that post here that go beyond genitalia, and I find that most people bolt as soon as you try this. I do have 2 relationships here that have become quite meaningful, however. I think that all this is just the nature of this type of venue, and I manage to have a great time here anyway. Thanks.

 

[deezire1900]

I think this is an escape for some who have a mountain of baggage around them at home. People who all day, fight with society in oneway or another, and at the end of the day are so emotionally drained, that to talk about sex is just easy. I also find alot of one-night stands on here. Posters who post something crude and then never come back. I hate that.

For me, I have posted about my life and my woes, but do others really want to hear about it...i am starting to think not. They have their own "stuff" to worry about.

2 pennies added for effect.

 

[Raimondin]

Sexuality is an important part of life. To what degree is what separates us as individuals. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. I would think ( and hope) that this is why there is a forum such as this; to be able to express ourselves no matter how different we might be from each other, whether it be a gender issue or otherwise. What a boring world it would be if everyone was the same.

 

[John Doe]

I think that for the majority of posters here, this is a sort of "entry level" discussion of queer issues.Because so many people are at an early stage of exploring, it makes sense that the focus is largely on the overtly sexual aspects, and not on more involved relationship issues.

Of course, if someone wants more discussions of relationship issues, they are certainly welcome to start some.

Yeah, that's what I wanted to say.

I swear.

 

[Never]

Stuponfucious:
" Anyway, are you sure you don't like breasts and pussy at least a little on thier own merits?"

I spelled your name correctly on the first try. Go me.

I'm as sure as I am about most of my loosely held opinions. It's possible that you could tape sensors to me, show me pictures of naked men and women, and then point to the spikes on read out where my heart rate increased, pupils dilated, and capillaries expanded whenever I saw me some boobage.

From my own observations, I can only say that I find both male and female bodies to be pleasing from an aesthetic standpoint. They are both beautiful and interesting in their way but the parts themselves don't induce lusty impulses.

To clarify, I fantasize about people and touching them. These fantasizes are arousing to me. I believe my arousal is centered around the physical and emotional interactions, however. It's amusing to think that I gain pleasure by imagining that I'm already being pleasured but I believe it's the case.

Queersetti:
" I think that for the majority of posters here, this is a sort of "entry level" discussion of queer issues. Because so many people are at an early stage of exploring, it makes sense that the focus is largely on the overtly sexual aspects, and not on more involved relationship issues."

I have also gotten the feeling of this being an entry level spot. Both to GBLT, to Literotica, and to an adult forum. I can appreciate this. Before I lost my virginity I often worried about performing in bed. Little did I know that sex was the least of my worries.

I didn't ask many sexual questions in gay-oriented forums, however. I spent my time trying to work out what these gay types were like and what it meant to be one of them.

" Men are more likely to focus on the physical aspects of sexuality than are women."

This is an altogether different subject but a compelling one to me. A friend of mine once remarked that if they weren't both gay that lesbians and gay men would have nothing to do with one another. I think that's a bit extreme but I there is a different culture/mindset in the two communities.

 

[Never]

geishaGirl:
" As to the way sex is discussed on this board and elsewhere on Lit, I get the feeling that sometimes people may just "play it up" a bit because it is Literotica. It's easy to discuss things in a more overt way because of the anonymity aspect here."

I'm not really discussing the content of the conversation but the style of it. Off hand, I can say that the BDSM board, the PG, and the How-To board have very different approaches when it comes to sexual conversation.

The BDSM board is obsessive about the relationship, the How-To board focuses on mechanics, while the PG uses desirability as a sort of social currency. They are all overtly talking about sex.

Deezire:
" I also find alot of one-night stands on here. Posters who post something crude and then never come back. I hate that."

The flip side is when they post something crude and then come back frequently to post other crude things.

On other boards, those with most postings, those types of posts tend to get buried quickly. They tend to stay on the front page longer here.

 

[College_geek]

I think the whole lack of emotional intimacy in physical intimacy is a problem for both homosexuals and heterosexuals. It's almost like the masses (in general) don't want emotional intimacy. In general, most porn doesn't seem to have that type of intimacy...most of it is purely sex or some sexual activity. An example would be (as my boyfriend always complains about) is the fact that it's rare to see two people actually kissing in porn...it's all tongue touching.

Also, sometimes I get the impression that some people who consider themselves heterosexual, but have a strong sexual attraction to the same gender, make up many of the people who are "just looking for a cock/pussy" because it's either something they want to keep secret or something they're ashamed of. Like a person isn't "gay" until they have feelings for someone of the same gender.

It upsets me, too, but I'm not sure what can be done about it.

 

[Raimondin]

I think the whole lack of emotional intimacy in physical intimacy is a problem for both homosexuals and heterosexuals. It's almost like the masses (in general) don't want emotional intimacy. In general, most porn doesn't seem to have that type of intimacy...most of it is purely sex or some sexual activity. An example would be (as my boyfriend always complains about) is the fact that it's rare to see two people actually kissing in porn...it's all tongue touching.

Also, sometimes I get the impression that some people who consider themselves heterosexual, but have a strong sexual attraction to the same gender, make up many of the people who are "just looking for a cock/pussy" because it's either something they want to keep secret or something they're ashamed of. Like a person isn't "gay" until they have feelings for someone of the same gender.

It upsets me, too, but I'm not sure what can be done about it.

I agree. You're lucky you have a boyfriend that feels that way. Then again I think that's what porn is all about, no emotion, about just finding a tongue and a hole as you pointed out. As a guy I understand that, as well. Men are more visual and physical which I believe is why men are the biggest customers of porn. I guess I can say I'm also lucky since my boyfriend also shares the same sentiments. As far as what can be done about it is anybody's guess. It's just the way of the world.

 

[kalalau]

I think the whole lack of emotional intimacy in physical intimacy is a problem for both homosexuals and heterosexuals. It's almost like the masses (in general) don't want emotional intimacy. An example would be (as my boyfriend always complains about) is the fact that it's rare to see two people actually kissing in porn...it's all tongue touching.

I relate very strongly to the lack of kissing in porn. Kissing is so intense and intimate....The pics that are the biggest turn on for me are the ones with real kissing....

 

[John Doe]

Stuponfucious:
I spelled your name correctly on the first try. Go me.

I'm as sure as I am about most of my loosely held opinions. It's possible that you could tape sensors to me, show me pictures of naked men and women, and then point to the spikes on read out where my heart rate increased, pupils dilated, and capillaries expanded whenever I saw me some boobage.

From my own observations, I can only say that I find both male and female bodies to be pleasing from an aesthetic standpoint. They are both beautiful and interesting in their way but the parts themselves don't induce lusty impulses.

To clarify, I fantasize about people and touching them. These fantasizes are arousing to me. I believe my arousal is centered around the physical and emotional interactions, however. It's amusing to think that I gain pleasure by imagining that I'm already being pleasured but I believe it's the case.

Is that a no?

 

[april-wine]

While I do have my own obsession with breasts I find I am an anomaly, my girlfriend often asks me if I am sure that I am NOT a guy....So while I wouldn't turn down a peek at Never's bits, I do find her mind very appealing....That is true with people in general, though males rarely have nice boobies....

 

[Never]

Stuponfucious:
"Is that a no?"

Why give a simple and clear-cut answer when I could give a long, meandering, and ambiguous one?

April-wine:
" So while I wouldn't turn down a peek at Never's bits, I do find her mind very appealing....That is true with people in general, though males rarely have nice boobies...."

This is what you currently believe but if you were actually to see my raging ta-tas of death you would regret it for the rest of your, relatively short, existence.