Scuttle Buttin'
Demons at bay
- Joined
- Apr 27, 2003
- Posts
- 15,882
Gather round, little humans. Come closer, and listen.
I know this will come as a shock to many of you, but the God you believe in does not exist.
Please silent your incessant bleating.
Oh, don't get me wrong, my frightened children. There is a God, if you absolutely must call him that, and he did in fact create you... well, half of you. But he is not the all-powerful being you worship in your churches week after week. He is not there to listen to your never ending and quite often boring prayers, nor saving you in car accidents, or curing your cancer. He does not cause hurricanes, and he could give a fuck about the gender of the person you stick your dick into.
The God of your creation is out there still, in the cosmos, seeding life on another planet. You see, kids, that's how he works. That's what he does. Not all-powerful, but very-powerful, and he moves from planet to planet, seeding life where it will take hold, creating a plan for the beginning of his new creation, perhaps adding a contingency plan or two in case things take a turn somewhere, and then he moves on.
Ever the deadbeat Dad, He has never had the time to check in on his creations, to see if they've flourished or died, to see how the caretakers he's left behind have handled things.
Oh yes, the caretakers.
Allow me to introduce myself.
Having quite the imagination when it comes to names many of you have referred to me as the Father of Lies, the Dragon, the Ancient Serpent, Beelzebub, or simply the Devil.
Personally, I prefer my given name: Satan.
The pleasure is all mine.
There are millions, perhaps billions like me, scattered all over the cosmos, each of us assigned by God to watch over our given planet. You lucky sons of bitches ended up on mine. I have watched you grow, from the moment Adam and Lilith opened their eyes in the Garden, to the Industrial Revolution, to man walking on the moon. Humanity, in it's infinite wisdom, has been corrupted by it's incessant craving for religion, explaining why the sun rises, why the rain falls, why you were created, what happens when you die. And thusly, you have turned me into a great evil. You have no idea, silly creatures, of the great things I have helped you achieved. The discoveries, the breakthroughs, the fucking miracles, as you so absurdly call them.
All with my help.
And yet you fear me.
The true irony, you unworthy fucks, is that I am also a part of you. Fearing me means fearing yourself. Hating me means hating yourself. Trying to defeat me is futile. Even were I to be cast from this planet, sent to another - you didn't actually think there was a Hell, did you? - I would still be a part of you all. I have infested your very DNA, little humans.
God is smart, yes. But he is not devious. He is not evil. He is blind to the plans of those who wish to corrupt what he has created. God did not see me coming.
And you pathetic assholes never stood a chance.
So yes, my children. Come closer. Listen to the true story of your creation. Listen to the way I corrupted every single one of you.
We will begin, as with any good story, at the very beginning.
Closer, children. Father has a very good story tonight.
In the beginning...
I know this will come as a shock to many of you, but the God you believe in does not exist.
Please silent your incessant bleating.
Oh, don't get me wrong, my frightened children. There is a God, if you absolutely must call him that, and he did in fact create you... well, half of you. But he is not the all-powerful being you worship in your churches week after week. He is not there to listen to your never ending and quite often boring prayers, nor saving you in car accidents, or curing your cancer. He does not cause hurricanes, and he could give a fuck about the gender of the person you stick your dick into.
The God of your creation is out there still, in the cosmos, seeding life on another planet. You see, kids, that's how he works. That's what he does. Not all-powerful, but very-powerful, and he moves from planet to planet, seeding life where it will take hold, creating a plan for the beginning of his new creation, perhaps adding a contingency plan or two in case things take a turn somewhere, and then he moves on.
Ever the deadbeat Dad, He has never had the time to check in on his creations, to see if they've flourished or died, to see how the caretakers he's left behind have handled things.
Oh yes, the caretakers.
Allow me to introduce myself.
Having quite the imagination when it comes to names many of you have referred to me as the Father of Lies, the Dragon, the Ancient Serpent, Beelzebub, or simply the Devil.
Personally, I prefer my given name: Satan.
The pleasure is all mine.
There are millions, perhaps billions like me, scattered all over the cosmos, each of us assigned by God to watch over our given planet. You lucky sons of bitches ended up on mine. I have watched you grow, from the moment Adam and Lilith opened their eyes in the Garden, to the Industrial Revolution, to man walking on the moon. Humanity, in it's infinite wisdom, has been corrupted by it's incessant craving for religion, explaining why the sun rises, why the rain falls, why you were created, what happens when you die. And thusly, you have turned me into a great evil. You have no idea, silly creatures, of the great things I have helped you achieved. The discoveries, the breakthroughs, the fucking miracles, as you so absurdly call them.
All with my help.
And yet you fear me.
The true irony, you unworthy fucks, is that I am also a part of you. Fearing me means fearing yourself. Hating me means hating yourself. Trying to defeat me is futile. Even were I to be cast from this planet, sent to another - you didn't actually think there was a Hell, did you? - I would still be a part of you all. I have infested your very DNA, little humans.
God is smart, yes. But he is not devious. He is not evil. He is blind to the plans of those who wish to corrupt what he has created. God did not see me coming.
And you pathetic assholes never stood a chance.
So yes, my children. Come closer. Listen to the true story of your creation. Listen to the way I corrupted every single one of you.
We will begin, as with any good story, at the very beginning.
Closer, children. Father has a very good story tonight.
In the beginning...